


Be a golden-haired cat

by agusna



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anger, Explicit Language, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Mates, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Some Femdom, Werecats, season 3 fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:44:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 101,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agusna/pseuds/agusna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Be a golden-haired cat, don't care about anything and be independent - those were her dreams. But of course life's a bitch and has to kick her in the ass. She is thrown in situations that she doesn't like and she shows it. With her teeth and claws.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic in English, so sorry for mistakes. I'm open to comments. Don't own Teen Wolf. Own my OC - Agnes.

She was pissed. No scratch that. She was beyond pissed. She was furious. Her hands were shaking, her pace was very quick and she was growling under her breath - those were symptoms of her fury. If she was any supernatural being, she would be in flames and the air around her would be creating a whirlwind. She needed a smoke.  
She bought a package of cigarettes and a lighter. Standing beside the bus stop she lit a cigarette. The pungent taste of the cigarette and burning feeling inside her lungs was what she needed. She started relaxing. She wasn’t a regular smoker. Hell, she even hated other smokers. But there were moments in her life, when a cigarette was her only rescue. And this… this was one of those moments.  
The bus arrived. She looked at the number: 101. Well… it wasn’t her bus, but she got inside nonetheless. She didn’t want to be back home yet.  
She got out. It was dark, temperature below zero and she was almost in the middle of the forest. Good, she needed to be alone and in the dark. She needed to sort things in her head and in her heart. She lit the cigarette again and started walking. Slowly, this time.  
She hasn’t been here since early years of her studies… With Him… No, not now. Don’t think about Him right now. You have to think about someone else… Although this ‘someone else’ is also not a pleasant thing/person to think about.  
\- This is all so fucked up… - she murmured.  
Today she realized she feels two totally opposite emotions towards her longtime friend: anger and desire. She wanted to punch him in the face for what he did and didn’t do to her and also at the same time she wanted to kiss him hard, pull at his hair, nip him on the neck and make him hard… Oh, how she wanted to make him hard… For her own satisfaction and to prove him he’s wrong…  
\- My, my, what a surprise - she heard a menace voice - A little red riding hood…  
Agnes looked up at the owner of that voice. Tall, brown haired woman stood on her right side. When did she get here? The woman had a dangerous smirk on her lips… Which of course hadn’t stopped her from bursting out:  
\- I’m not little, don’t have red hood and grandmother anymore. Go annoy someone else!  
The woman was in front of her within seconds.  
\- What did you just say? - she was leaning.  
\- Fuck off!! But in a nicer way! - she shouted at the woman. Now she was furious again.  
Brunette had her pinned to a tree by a hand at her throat. It was forceful. It hurt. She always thought that feeling pain was overwhelming her. But mix that with anger and you get something completely different: a will to fight back. So she fought back.  
Bracing her back against the tree, she kicked the woman in her stomach. The grip on her throat loosened. She swung her fist at woman’s shoulder. Both cried in pain. The fuck?! Her opponent’s bones were from iron? But at the same time she heard those bones cracking. She hurt her. Good. She smiled.  
\- Hurts, heh? Bitch! - she was eyeing the brunette.  
\- I will kill you…  
Well Agnes must admit, that this statement frightened her a bit. Especially when woman’s eyes turned red, nails became claws and her canines visible and threatening. This creature lunged at her with a roar.  
She tried to escape, but was showed on the ground and punched hard. Not once. She felt her skin being ripped by those claws. She roared her discomfort. She never heard herself making noise like that, but she knew it was her. Her anger rose. She grabbed one of hands that beat her and squeezed. She saw blood drew by her own claws. The fuck?! She had long nails not claws! She punched the woman in the face with her other hand.  
\- Time to use my legs…  
She kicked distracted woman in the head with her foot and scrambled to her feet. Her whole body ached and it pissed her off. She felt something weird inside her body, but she didn’t know what it was. The woman looked at her.  
\- What are you? - there was disbelieve in her voice.  
\- What the fuck are you talking about? - she heard herself growl.  
\- Interesting… but still. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.  
She lunged at her again. With her canines. This time her attack was precise. She aimed for her throat. Like animal, she really want to kill me - Agnes thought. She did what brunette wasn’t expecting her to do. She also lunged, with canines, at the throat. They clashed, snarling, biting and ripping at each other.  
She felt the attacks were less and less powerful. The woman was weakening. It boosted her. She somehow found strength inside her, to move her muscles the way she wanted. And how she knew how to fight? How to punch to inflict damage? She didn’t know, but she liked that she was able to do it.  
She haven’t paid attention to the surroundings. She haven’t heard, smelled or just felt another person near them, opposite to her enemy. The moment the woman had fled she noticed a man standing nearby. He was breathing heavy, his chest rising and falling. His fists clenching and unclenching. His face angered. Lips thin line. His eyes… Oh my God! She was mesmerized by his eyes.  
He started approaching her while watching closely. Her eyes also never leaving his. She felt the adrenaline dropping and tiredness and pain appearing in her. But despite that she was going to fight him if he attacks her. He must have felt it somehow, because he said quietly:  
\- I’m not going to hurt you - he was still looking her directly in the eye.  
She knew he wasn’t lying. She didn’t know how she knew that, but she believed him.  
Tiredness overpowered her. Last thing she saw was him getting closer to her. Last thing she smelled was mixture of forest and a man. Last thing she felt was strong hands picking her up.

***

She was in pain. She wondered why? Then realization came to her: the forest, brown haired woman, red eyes, claws, pain, green eyed man. She wanted to open her eyes, but decided to focus on her surroundings first. She smelled burned wood and something else… something very unpleasant. She felt plush under her fingers. A couch, she assumed. Then she started listening…  
\- What do you mean she’s not human?! - a frightened, boyish voice loudly asked.  
\- Shhh, Scott. You’ll wake her up - second voice said, also boyish.  
\- I mean what it means. She is not human - an irritated, low voice answered. It was that man’s voice… - I saw her fought an alpha. And she’s still alive - he said that like it means something.  
\- How do you know she’s still alive? She was covered in blood. Man, when I saw her I thought I puke…  
\- Shut up Stiles - the other boy interrupted - She’s alive…  
She couldn’t hear any words then, because the conversation died. Instead she heard footsteps.  
\- Don’t pretend you’re sleeping - the man said. She smirked and opened her eyes.  
He was standing at the end of the couch, near her feet. Watching. He wasn’t so angered, like last time. On her left she noticed panicked brown hair- and eyed boy. He looked like a disoriented puppy. She felt commotion behind her on her right. She turned her head to see another boy. He was rummaging through her bag. She didn’t like that.  
\- Hey! Stop that! Find your own bag and ransack it! - the boy immediately looked at her, his cheeks flushed. She raised her eyebrow at him.  
\- Sorry… - he got up and handed something to the green eyed man.  
\- Agnes… - the man read - You’re not from here… What were you doing in those woods? - little fucker that kid! He gave him my ID.  
\- I may be not from here, but I work here and live here. And what I was doing in those woods is not your concern - I answered roughly.  
\- You’re wrong. It is my concern - he was getting angry and I thought I saw red flashing his eyes. So what? I was getting angry too.  
\- Derek! - the boy on my left spoke.  
\- O, right. So since you already know who I am, maybe you would deign to introduce yourselves? Because you know, I’m all hurt and can’t get to your pockets to read your ID’s myself - I was mean, very mean.  
\- She’s quite like you Stiles - said the boy on my left, with a goofy smile. The man in front of me huffed.  
\- Derek - he pointed at himself, then at the boy on my left - Scott…  
\- And Stiles - interjected the third and almost waved his hand at me. I rolled my eyes.  
\- I’ll ask you again and it’s the last time I ask politely - he threatened - What were you doing in those woods? - this time I huffed.  
\- Just walking, why is it so important?  
\- You were trespassing my property.  
\- No! No one has been living here for years! That burned house stood here abandoned all along… - again! Those red eyes flashed before me.  
\- This abandoned, burned house is my property! - he shouted in my face. I was dumbfounded.  
\- Derek! Stop! Come on… - Scott was beside him. I gritted my teeth.  
\- Sorry - I said quite loud. He looked at me. His eyes green again - Look, I would gladly leave your property, but I hurt like a bitch and I appreciate if I could get some Ibuprom and lay here for a while…  
\- This… You won’t heal - he stated - Scott, Stiles go home - he ordered them.  
\- You sure? ‘Cos minutes ago you looked like you wanted to rip her throat out… - this Stiles has weird sense of humor… Derek growled.  
\- C’mon Stiles, let’s go - Scott pulled at his sleeve - Bye Agnes - they both said and were gone.  
I looked at him again. He was calmer. Except for that and that I found him handsome I couldn’t see more. It was night outside and the only light available was from a camping lamp set on the floor. There was silence between us. I don’t like silence. I wanted to ask him a lot of things, but couldn’t decided what to ask first, so I stayed quiet. I don’t like to babble like most girls. I closed my eyes. I started listening. I always had good hearing, but now it was different somehow… I think I also smell things more precisely… It was weird. Very weird. But what struck me the most was that I could feel emotions… Emotions?! Me?! For everyone I was quite emotionless so now feeling empathy was completely insane! But I felt that hurt, anger and disorientation coming from him. Coming from Derek.  
\- Derek? - I started hesitantly.  
\- I’m going to heal you, not hurt you - he stated as he moved closer to me.  
\- How? - he was beside me.  
\- By taking your pain - he parted my coat and put his warm hand on my stomach. I froze.  
\- You’re not human - I said his words at him.  
\- Neither are you - he whispered to my ear and I felt overwhelming pain. I screamed.  
Derek put his left hand on my mouth, right still on my stomach. Instinctively I put my right hand on his left and my left on that hand on my belly. I clenched my fingers and drew blood. Derek hissed, but didn’t stop. I knew he meant good, but fuck! It hurt! After some time it ended. He stopped touching me and got up.  
\- Come, I’ll drive you home - he helped me to my feet and led to his car.  
I almost squealed when I saw his car! It was black Chevrolet Camaro. That bastard… I envied him so much for a moment.


	2. Chapter 2

I was tired and confused. I sat by the free desk, while my students were solving tasks I gave them. My mind was once again back in Derek’s car, near my apartment:  
\- You haven’t told me - I smirked and looked at him.  
\- What? - he frowned.  
\- What am I according to you - I could feel his distress.   
Silence. He was looking directly in front of him. He wasn’t going to tell me. I had to make him tell me.  
\- Derek… - I growled, demanding an answer. He looked at me immediately. He huffed.  
\- That woman in the woods… Do you know what she was?  
\- I have my guess… - I don’t know why, but I was quite calm about all of this. That woman was not my object of interest. Me, myself was a different story though…  
\- She was a… shapeshifter - there was a pause - And I think you are one too - I watched him intently.  
\- But not like her? - I asked warily.  
\- No. You smell different - he hasn’t finished his sentence yet and I already felt he wanted to punch himself in the face for saying it. I smirked.  
\- So I smell like what? - he looked at me in disbelief - Oh! Come on! Don’t be an ass and tell me!  
\- You really don’t know?  
\- If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking you - he huffed again. And I smirked again. He was acting childish.  
\- You smelled like cat - I turned my head and watched him intently. There was something in his voice I couldn’t fathom…   
\- And she smelled like…? - instead of hearing him answer, I saw his hand near my belly and caught it midair.  
\- What are you doing? - I was starting to feel agitated.  
\- Heal - was his only answer.  
Being able to talk freely and openly with my friends, was one of the best things I learned over my years in this city. There were no taboos between me and them, we talked and discussed about everything. I learned a lot through just talking. That is why now, having this extremely difficult, uncommunicative, stone faced man beside me, I was annoyed to the limits.   
I felt that arm I as holding, moved in attempt to reach its destination.   
\- No. You are going to tell me who that woman was and who am I - my voice was strong and steady. I also felt something inside me. Something trying to emerge to the surface, but staying just beneath my skin.  
I squeezed his arm to emphasize my words. I haven’t noticed my claws, until I smelled blood.   
\- If you want to live, you have to stop doing that… - his voice was low, eyes flashing red - She was a werewolf alpha female and you are a werecat, a very stubborn one - his eyes normal now, watching me.  
I pulled my sweater up and put his palm on my stomach. Took a deep inhale, exhaled and nodded my head, as to saying: do it. Then I felt sharp pain, but kept my mouth shut. Gritting my teeth, I whimpered, waiting him to finish.   
\- I’m Taurus. I was born stubborn - I smiled at him, when pain finally subsided. He rolled his eyes - So you are werewolf alpha male and…  
\- What?! - he interrupted me.  
\- Oh, come on. You smell the same as that woman, except you’re male - I could feel by my newly discovered senses that he disliked it all what I was saying.   
He was silent, but I knew he was angry (seriously, when wasn’t he angry?), irritated, tired and behind all of that aroused. I could understand the first three feelings, but aroused?! I had to get out of his car rather fast. But I also had to ask him one last question:  
\- If I want to live, I have to stop what?  
\- Stop losing control over your cat - he wasn’t looking at me.  
\- You are talking about my claws then? Sorry about that… - yeah, that was instinct.   
\- And eyes.  
\- What eyes? - I was dumbfounded.  
\- Your eyes - he rolled his eyes and looked at me - You flash your eyes the same I flash mine.  
\- What color? - I didn’t know why, but it was important to me to know the color.  
\- What does…  
\- Just tell me.  
\- Turquoise - it caught my breath and he noticed that - Does it mean something?  
\- People choose this color, describing me. By the way, how do you know that there is color like that? Most men wouldn’t know that.  
\- Not important. What is important, is that you have to control your cat - he said with a force - And if you don’t know how to do it, I… I can teach you - there was something sentimental in his voice and it caught me off guard.  
\- How?  
\- Not going to explain. If you want, come to my house tomorrow. You know the way - and with that he was silent again.  
I inhaled deeply. Maybe that wasn’t bad idea. I could get more information from him tomorrow. Or I could get my ass kicked again. But then he would heal me. Again. If he wanted to hurt me, he had plenty occasions, but he didn’t take them.  
\- Ok, I’ll come - I started getting out of his gorgeous car - Thanks - I smiled at him and shut the passenger door, noticing he had surprised look on his face. 

Yesterday I felt ok with werewolves and werecats. But today - no. During the night it all sank in and I was definitely not ok with it. I felt exactly like characters from all those fantasy books I love to read. There is often a woman. Unaware of the supernatural world until this supernatural world shove its fucking boots into her life. And there is also of course a man. Mysterious, very handsome man with a haunting past. They defeat monsters, prevent end of the world, fall in love and mostly live happily ever after. Bullshit! This is my life we’re talking about. I don’t have motivation to get up and go to my so called work. I hate students and almost every other people. And I’m done with men.  
I was rethinking Derek’s proposition. 

***

Rethinking my ass. Well I tried to argue with myself, but there was no time. I was occupied at work and after. So I ended up in the woods again. I was approaching the house I always thought was abandoned. My friend told me about the fire that killed a family there. It was horrible listening to this story. Even I felt compassion. And now, that I knew a member of that family… It was quite overwhelming… I couldn’t imagine losing all my family in one moment. My thinking was interrupted by a voice. It was Scott. I could hear him arguing with Derek, but I wasn’t able to see them yet.  
\- You did what?! Dude, we have to find Erica and Boyd! We have alpha pack to deal! And you… You…  
\- What Scott?! She is in the same spot you were when I meet you! You know, how important it is to learn control!  
\- I know! But…  
\- Enough.  
Wow. I wasn’t expecting them to fight like that. I could feel their anger and irritation, but not dislike. I also felt curiosity and anticipation. It was something new. Those feelings belonged to someone new to me, someone I haven’t meet yet.   
I walked directly at them. Derek was standing on the porch and despite it was at least -10 below, he was without a jacket. He was looking at Scott, who was at the bottom of the stairs. Fuming. The third person was a tall, skinny boy, with curly, light hair. He was also on the porch. And he was staring at me like I was the first woman he ever saw.   
Well… I know I look more like a girl than a woman. I’m not tall or skinny. I don’t do make up. And I keep my long hair loose.   
\- If you don’t have time, you shouldn’t ask me to come - I stated to let them know I heard their argument.  
Derek was silent. Great! By this, I knew he wasn’t going to tell me to much today. Scott was blushing. I completely didn’t understand why. And this boy was still staring and I could feel him getting aroused.  
\- Oh, for fucking sake! - I shouted - You! - I pointed at Scott - Stop blushing! And you! - I pointed at the boy - What’s your name? - I lifted my eyebrow, waiting for his answer.  
\- I… My… - the boy was perplexed. Derek rolled his eyes and decided to join this weird conversation.  
\- It’s Isaac. He’s my beta, like Scott - Scott grimaced and Derek growled at him quietly - And I have time - he finally looked at me. I honestly must say, I liked his eyes very much.  
\- And like Scott he is a teenage boy with a hormone overdose in his body - they both looked at me - Yes, I can feel that. And smell that. Go home and do something with yourselves. Under the shower or with a girlfriend - I smirked - Or a boyfriend - I saw Derek smirk also.  
\- Listen to her. Go home for now - he ordered. I watched them leave.  
\- Does your pack consists only teenage boys? - my smirk faded when I felt his pain and of course anger. Within seconds I was angry at myself for this pain I caused him. He must felt that, because he lifted his hand, as if stopping me.  
\- There is one girl, Erica…  
\- The one you have to find? - he looked at me wide-eyed and then realization came to him.  
\- You heard us…  
\- Yeah. Can I help you somehow? - the look he gave me was piercing me through, like he was evaluating me. I didn’t like that. I growled. I felt him hesitate.  
\- You have to learn control - I saw his back, when he entered his burned house. I followed him, although I didn’t know if I should - You do it through anger, pain or love. Which one you choose?  
\- I think you already know that - I said flatly. At this moment I despised love.  
\- Anger and pain - one minute he was saying that to me and second he was wolfed and charging at me.  
I screamed. He was pinning me to the floor. Growling at me. I could perfectly see his changed face. I was scared, because he surprised me. But I wasn’t angry or in pain. He noticed that and grabbed me by my hair, lifting me up. I screamed again. This time in pain. Then he threw me across the room.  
\- Fuck! I’m still hurt after yesterday you moron! - I shouted, feeling tears in my eyes.  
\- Yesterday you fought an alpha! And today you can’t even shift!   
He hit me couple of times more. I was on the floor again. He grabbed my throat and lifted me so I was leveled to his face. My legs hanging loose.  
\- Shift - he growled and pressed himself against my body. I froze. He noticed that I didn’t like it. He started to rub against me. I couldn’t stand it anymore.   
\- Stop it!  
\- No - he touched my crotch and squeezed me there.  
\- Fuck you!! - I roared and kicked him in his crotch. His hands left my body in an instant.   
I was charging at him without mercy. I was fast. Very fast. He wasn’t able to dodge my punches. I started kicking him furiously. When I noticed I had claws, I used them. His clothes were in shatters. Blood oozing from deep cuts I left on his body. He was laying on the floor, were I have thrown him. I was approaching him. Passing a window with glass, I saw my own reflection. I stopped.   
I wasn’t human. I was a creature. I was taller than normally, because my human legs were now hind legs of a feline. I was covered in dark blue fur with golden stripes like a tiger. I had a slim, but fluffy tail. My hands were more human, except for the fur and claws. My head and face although were feline. The shape of my head was slim like jaguar, but I had stripes on my face like a tiger and big mane like a lion. Fur on my face was golden (like mane) with blue stripes. My nose was wide, eyes turquoise, fangs big and sharp.  
I couldn’t believe that. I was a werecat. A mix of jaguar, tiger and lion, but I felt there are others species inside me. How? How have I become something like that?  
\- Agnes… - I heard a voice. Wait. I know this voice. I like it.  
I started paying attention to my surroundings. All of my senses focused on a body lying on the floor. The stinking smell of blood was covering his natural smell. I wanted to lick him clean, to be able to breathe his scent again. I moved closer to him, murmuring. He wasn’t moving, but I knew he was alive. I turned his head so he was facing me. He was human again. His wolf disappeared inside him.   
I started licking his face, to get rid of the blood. I noticed his wounds started healing already. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I could see myself in them. I don’t know how long we were like this, just looking in our eyes. It stopped when he said:  
\- Shift back - it was a whisper, but I heard it clearly. 

We were sitting in Derek’s Camaro, heating switched on. I was wrapped in a blanket. Derek sitting beside me, in the driver seat. He changed clothes and managed to clean himself a little.   
I don’t remember how I shifted back. I remember he told me to do it and then him saying to put his T-shirt on. I didn’t understand, why I have to wear it, until I noticed I was almost naked. He said it is normal to lost memory and clothes during first shift. He was joking. Derek Hale made a fucking joke. And it was partially about me being naked! But then he tamed me, helping me put my coat on and wrapping me in a blanket.  
\- Are you ok? - I asked. I felt bad, I had hurt him so much.  
\- Yeah… - was his only response. I probed him through my senses. He wasn’t angry or in pain. Furthermore, I could feel that he was calm. But beneath, I knew something was bugging him…  
\- Tell me - I demanded.  
\- What?  
\- What is bugging you. And don’t even try to deny it. I know there’s something up. I can feel it - he looked at me.  
\- This feeling thing… Does it come with your werecat senses?   
\- If I answer your question, will you answer mine? - he gave me a nod - Yes, it comes whit it. Now your turn.  
\- Could you be able to track that alpha woman?  
\- Is this you throwing me questions instead of answers or is it this thing that is bugging you? - for gods’ sake! Keeping a conversation with him was like walking through hell.  
\- The latter - ok, something concrete, I liked that.  
\- I don’t know, if I can track her… Maybe… But I can try, if this will be any help - I tried to smile.   
\- Give me your phone - I passed him my phone - If something happens, call me - he looked at me - You understand - I rolled my eyes.  
\- Derek, I’m not a child - he smirked.  
\- But you’re as stubborn - I showed him a big smile, and this time he rolled his eyes - Heal.  
Ugh. This part I hated the most. After he healed me, he drove me home. Also he announced, that he’ll come in the morning to heal me before I go to work. I warned him not to come before 10 am.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say, that I've read some info about season 3 on the Internet and some of that I'm going to follow and some not :)

Derek really came the next morning. He called after 10 am, to let him in. I was shivering in my pajamas when I opened the door. I had morning hair, red face, small eyes and sleep all over myself. Mornings weren’t my favorite part of the day. He made a face, looking at me.  
\- Hello Kitty? Really?  
\- Oh, shut up and get in. It’s cold - it was too early for some smart riposte.  
He stayed in his jacket, but took off his shoes. Wow, that surprised me. We went to my room, which was two steps to the right.  
I live in a rent three-room apartment. I have three roommates - a couple and their dog. I have my room, they have two, because they work at home. My room is the smallest, but I manage. I have large bed and that’s what counts the most.  
Derek was standing in the doorway, looking perplexed. I sat on my bed, moving comforter to the side to make room for him.  
\- Yeah, that’s how I live. Now, close the door and sit - he surprised me again, by doing so without objection.  
We sat like that, in silence for a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was nice, I must say. I didn’t care how I smelled, but he smelled so fresh and inhaling his scent was waking me up.  
\- Ok, let’s get to business - I laid down on my bed and pulled my T-shirt up. Took couple of breaths an looked at him.  
He was staring at me.  
\- Derek… I’m waiting. And I believe, you have seen woman’s belly not once - I smirked.  
He flashed his eyes red and before I jerked in pain, I felt his anger, hurt and betrayal. What have I said to make him like that? When he finished healing me, he moved away from me. I didn’t care at that moment. I was trying to breathe again. After a while I was rather ok and found my voice to ask:  
\- What was that? Those feelings? This hurt, betrayal?  
\- It’s none of your business - he growled at me, but in a whisper.  
\- Well, since this made you so angry and you directed that anger at me, I believe it is my business - he looked at me in disbelieve - Yeah, I felt that while you were healing me…  
Suddenly, he was extremely interested in my floor and his feet. I felt his shame, his anger directed at himself this time. I took it as a silent apology. I huffed. He was very, very difficult to handle. My hand itched to touch him, but I knew it was a bad idea. I just moved closer to him, in a silent consolation. No, it wasn’t that. He didn’t need consolation. He would despise that. Understanding was a better feeling. So I tried to emit this feeling from me, so he would calm down. I felt him shift a little, a sign he felt my emotion.  
\- Derek… It’s ok now… We’re good - I assured him - I have to go to work, but before that I have to tell you something - I felt a peak of interest within him - I’m going home for the weekend…  
\- Not safe - he finally spoke.  
\- Chill. It’s safe. I’m calm, when I’m at home with my parents - I bit my tongue too late, because I had felt his anger - Shit. Sorry Derek - I growled at myself in annoyance.  
His look leaned at me. It was intense. I felt a longing inside him. Not for a woman, but for someone who he could trust, someone like family. I understand that. I smiled a little at him.  
\- Do I remind you of someone - I whispered warily. There was silence and I started to feel agitated. He was staring at the floor again.  
\- My sister - he finally said under his breath.  
\- I honestly don’t know if it’s good or bad… - he shot his head up - Fuck! I said that aloud?! - he was staring at me and it was enough for an answer - Well, I’m a honest person to the bone. You would noticed that sooner or later anyway.  
I get up and motioned him to do the same. He was staring intently at me. I huffed.  
\- I’m officially chasing you away. I have to go to work.  
His shoes were on and he was ready to leave. I tugged at the sleeve of his jacket.  
\- Wait - I whispered. He turned his head, so I was looking at his profile.  
I moved a little and stood on my tiptoe. My fingers ghosting his stubbled jaw while I pressed a light kiss on his cheek. I didn’t want to know his reaction, so I immediately opened the front door and shoved him out. I just said:  
\- Take care.

***

Wow. The winter attacked again. Frost was big, roads were slippery and it took me a lot of time to get to the city, even at night. I like to put a heavy foot on gas pedal and bring my baby to 100 km/h. But I wasn’t crazy. During a weather like this, it would be a suicide.  
I was trying my best not to fall and carry my bags stuffed with homemade food. I went home after all. And that meant, my parents gave me a lot of food, because they knew how I was eating. Or not eating. Or not doing grocery or cooking.  
Some guy moved from the shadow. When I looked at him more closely, I noticed it was Derek.  
\- Fuck, you scared me - that was all me, zero subtleness, one hundred percent honesty. But he didn’t seem to care.  
\- You know better how to use your senses - he was approaching me.  
\- Derek, now all of my senses are directed to one thing: not to fall on this ice - he was taking my bags from me. I lifted my eyebrow at him - You want something?  
\- Let’s talk inside.  
We got to my apartment. This time Derek took off his shoes and his jacket. He smelled like forest. But it wasn’t like his normal scent. It was like the wood, leaves, mud, snow, everything was overdosed. Has he spent entire weekend in the woods? I motioned him to sit on my bed. I picked my bags and heading to the kitchen I asked:  
\- Want something to drink? Tea, coffee, water? - I was trying to be nice. It happened sometimes.  
\- Water.  
\- Water? Really? - and I thought I was a minimalist.  
\- Really.  
\- Ok. Be in a minute.  
I put all the food in the fridge and cabinets. Took some yoghurt and muesli for me and poured a glass of water for Derek.  
\- Here - I handed him the glass and he put it on top near my bed.  
I was unpacking my stuff for a while and then finally sat next to him with my yoghurt with muesli. He was silent and watching me.  
\- You eat that? - there was like disgust in his voice.  
\- Ooo, so he speaks! - I had to make that comment. I was grinning. I felt his irritation and frustration - Sorry, I am a mean person, guilty - I smiled and he eased a little - And I’m a cat and cats like milk products like yoghurt. And It’s late and I try not to eat too much…  
\- If you’re concerned about your figure, you shouldn’t be… - he wasn’t looking at me, his heart beating steady.  
\- And why is that? - I asked playfully.  
As I said earlier, every time I visited my parents it put me in a good mood. Which of course usually puffed away next day at work. But I wasn’t at work right now. And I was still in a good mood, which meant I would tease people without a reason. Just like that, for pure pleasure. Yes. I. Am. Very. Very. Mean.  
\- You’re a werecat - and that’s it. No more explanation. I moved closer to him.  
\- Derek, that gives me… - I whispered in his ear - totally shit - I was grinning again, but when I saw his dumbfounded face, I bursted out laughing.  
He stood up, ready to leave. Anger rolling off him in waves.  
\- Wha… - I haven’t finished yet and he had already pinned me to the door. His eyes red, claws drew and breathing heavy.  
\- Stop that - I hissed. He was doing it again. Pressing his hard body against mine.  
\- Only if you stop too - his face was so close. Our noses were almost touching and I could easily kiss him, but at that moment, the only thing I wanted to do with his mouth was to bite hard on them. To draw blood and to feel his pain.  
If we were anyplace else, I would shift and kick his ass. But it was my apartment and my roommates were there, so I couldn’t do that. However there was something I could do… My eyes turned turquoise, my claws and canines grew long and I tensed my muscles. It looked like I was going to charge at him, but I was in total control. It was just a show off. I smiled at him like a cat who just drank all the milk.  
\- You learned control… - he was whispering, but he was still on high alert.  
\- Yes, now let go of me - my voice was very low and steady - This is my den - I pointed.  
My last words made him release me, his eyes and appearance back to normal. I knew this comment about my den would work. We, animals are very territorial and unless we don’t want to expand our territory, we don’t trespass.  
I was back to normal too. We were just standing, calming down. Derek was still in front of me, but not touching me anymore and the distance was ok for me.  
\- I believe you said you wanted to talk - I started quietly and he nodded - So let’s talk - I made a move forward and he moved aside.  
We sat on our spots from earlier. I was back to my yoghurt (it was a big one) and he took a sip of water. There was silence between us, but I let it be. I could feel a lot of emotions bubbling inside him.  
\- You already know two of my betas are missing - he started finally and I felt his pain at that loss - We have searched the woods unsuccessfully… - aha, I was right. He really and literally spend the weekend in the woods.  
\- We?  
\- Me and my pack - I hummed in understanding.  
\- Ok, but what does it have to do with me?  
\- You said you wanted to help - I rolled my eyes. Asking for help obviously wasn’t his strong point.  
\- Derek, ask me directly what do you want from me - I needed to know exactly where I stand.  
\- I want you to help me find them - he said it like it was poisonous. Yeah, he wasn’t used to ask for help. I wanted to know what his plan was.  
\- How? - he rolled his eyes - Derek… - I growled a little - I have to know.  
\- By tracking them down by their scent.  
\- As far as I know, dogs have better smell than cats, so why do you think I would be able to track them, when you have already tried?  
\- Because we don’t know the scent of that alpha female - I shook my head.  
\- What the fuck does she has to do with it!? - sorry, I wasn’t following his logic…. or maybe I was - You think she kidnapped them? - he nodded.  
\- She’s part of the alpha pack that is in town.  
\- An alpha pack? Of werewolves? You are fucking kidding me?! - I lost my temper. This was too much.  
\- Not laughing. Calm down - he wanted to put his hand on my knee, but hesitated.  
\- You can do it. I won’t bite it off - I was pissed, yeah, but not at him and at that moment his touch was soothing.  
I leaned at the back of my sofa (my bed at the same) and closed my eyes. This was crazy. Suddenly, my rather boring and normal live became… Became what? Surreal at one point and more pissing and dangerous at the other. My mind was racing, I was thinking about a lot of things and a lot of feelings was running through me. This needed to be sorted out.  
\- How many are them? Where are they? What do they want? How dangerous are they? And why would they kidnap your betas? - I was throwing all those questions at him, one by one - And yes, you have to answer them all. Now - I added, as I saw his face.  
\- I don’t know how many… Three or four… But it can be also ten of them - I yelped - I don’t know where they are, but I assume it must be somewhere in the woods. I don’t know exactly what they want. My parents told me only that the alpha pack migrates through the country and emerge when there’s something happening or to deal with another pack…  
\- What do you mean: when there’s something happening or to deal with another pack?  
\- I don’t know exactly - he was starting to get frustrated - They haven’t been in this regions for years. Even my parents didn’t remember when was the last time they were here.  
\- And by dealing with a pack you mean to kill that pack? - I didn’t like that question, but had to ask.  
\- Yes - I yelped again - But that’s something every other pack could try. However this is alpha pack we’re talking about. They are much stronger…  
\- And dangerous? - he just nodded - And about your betas…?  
\- I think it’s to lure us out or scare us… - we fell silent for some time.  
\- If I help you, I might die… - shit, I didn’t like that I sounded so lame…  
\- I won’t let that happen - I smiled bitterly.  
\- It’s nice that someone beside my parents care about me… But you can’t control everything Derek. Someone might die… - I put my hand over his on my knee (yes, his hand was there all the time).  
\- I will do everything in my power to protect you and my pack - his eyes were piercing me. They were filed with emotions, tons of emotions. And I was mesmerized by them, like the first time I saw him.  
\- I want you to meet them.  
\- Who?  
\- My pack.  
\- Oh… Ok. But not tonight. This all - I made a circle in the air with my hand - is enough for me for today.  
\- Tomorrow? - I had to think for a minute.  
\- Yeah, tomorrow is ok.  
\- And after, we’ll track Erica and Boyd - that wasn’t a question, it was a statement. I quirked my eyebrow - What? I cannot let those alphas have them any longer - I huffed.  
\- I can understand that, but… But it doesn’t change the fact that this is going little too fast for my liking… - I bit my lower lip.  
\- It is going too fast for last couple of months… - now I quirked both my eyebrows - Ask Scott or Stiles if you want.  
\- I believe you - I started to smile, but had to yawn. I was getting tired. Derek seemed to notice that.  
\- I should go… - he got up, turned and was looking at me hesitantly. I looked at him like WTF man, but then it clicked. I smiled.  
\- Goodnight to you too Derek - I was trying to pass him some positive energy, because seriously I thought I was scowling, but he was like the master of scowling - Like before, I’m chasing you away - I smiled, as I opened the door.  
\- Don’t you need me to heal you? - he whispered to my ear, as we were still in my room.  
\- No, I healed while I was home - he just nodded - I’ll come tomorrow around eight, ok? - I haven’t noticed my roommate in the hall…  
\- Yeah…  
\- Oh, hi - Monica was already extending her hand - I’m Monica.  
\- Derek - they shook hands.  
\- My roommate - I pointed at her - and my friend - I pointed at Derek, smiling a little all the time.  
We both stood there, watching Derek leave.  
\- He’s hot - she said grinning. Oh, now she looked like she had drank all the milk.  
\- Heh, I know… but as I have told you before, I’m past men - I gave her a sad smile and went to my room.

Later, I lay in my bed, thinking. Of course Derek was hot. I knew that, the minute I put my eyes on him. Tall, well build with broad shoulders, nice ass, very handsome face. Strong jaw, dark, thick hair, expressive eyebrows, straight nose, nice lips. But his eyes… his green eyes were gorgeous. And that stubble of his. I was wondering how old he is. He looked like a grown man, but I had the impression, he wasn’t older than me. He was a “bad boy” every woman dreamed of. But not every woman was able to handle that kind of man…  
At this moment, I wasn’t sure if I can handle any kind of man. They irritated me and I was securing myself from them. Again… What was weird, I tolerated Derek. Apart from his anger outbursts, I didn’t mind him being near me. Well, at least when I controlled this “him being near me”, like for example me kissing him, not the other way. But I definitely mind this situation back then in his house, when he pinned me, rubbed against me and then squeezed me. I know now it was to trigger my shift, but still… I hate it. And it is probably because I wasn’t the dominant there…


	4. Chapter 4

I was a little late, but I wouldn’t be myself if I wasn’t late. When I get to Derek’s house, there were already four cars parked: black Camaro, blue Jeep, silver Porsche and black Toyota. Well, I must say that my 18-years old car was to place somewhere near that Jeep. But it didn’t matter. What matters is that I could ride my baby.   
I got out of my car and headed to the front door. I sensed eight people there. Well people in general. Werewolves counted as people to me too. Of course they knew I was there, so they stopped their conversations and waited for me to came in. I wasn’t focusing on their emotions, because there were too much of them.   
Before I could knock on the door, Derek opened them. He was tense, so I smiled a little at him and greeted:  
\- Hi.  
\- Hello - he steadied his voice along with his heartbeat - Come in.  
I was one step behind him. His big body covering mine, so I believe I haven’t been seen till he stepped to the side, when we were in (what I believe was) the living room. Everyone looked at me and I looked at them.   
They were kids! They were all kids except one man, who stood in the corner of the room to my right and Derek, who was still near my right hand. I immediately knew this man is the oldest here and a werewolf. He was in a black shirt tucked in his dark blue jeans. His dark hair was gelled and slicked back. He had a moustache and a goatee. Blue eyes, which smiled along with his mouth, but I knew you have to be careful with this man.   
In front of me, on the couch (the same couch I laid, the day I meet Derek) sat two beautiful girls and Stiles. One of the girls was strawberry blond. She had heavily painted lips with red lipstick and a habit to put them in o-shape (yeah, I have already noticed, because she was doing that all the time). She was wearing a dress and a high-heels (it is January for God’s sake!) and a winter coat (ooo so she had noticed it is below zero outdoors). I focused my senses on her. She was human but also something else… Not a werewolf. Definitely not a werewolf.  
Next to her sat a lovely brunette. Her dark hair was curled and mid-back length. She had make up, but it was more natural than the girl sitting beside her. She had a dark coat, dark skinny jeans and black boots. I could sense she was human. Very nervous, insecure and sad. I also felt grieve and a little anger from her. I couldn’t tell their eyes color, because it was dark and that camp lamp standing on the floor wasn’t providing enough light. Well, I believe for all those werewolves it was enough.   
Near the couch stood Scott. He and Stiles were themselves. Happy, carefree little puppies, except that Scott was a werewolf and Stiles not. But I could feel some potential in Stiles…  
Behind the Strawberry blond (yep, I gave her a nickname) stood a blond boy. His short hair was cut thoroughly and carefully. The same as his clothes were picked. Tight jeans, shirt and a pullover. He lacked a tie, glasses and a hat and he would look like those people in TV. I hated them and I didn’t like him. Arrogance and cockiness (in which he tried to cover his insecurity) rolled off of him in waves. Gods, how I hated and despised people like him. He was a werewolf.  
The last one was Isaac. Standing in the corner to my left, watching me intently. I smirked at that. I was getting used to his staring.  
While I was ogling them, they did the same to me. So maybe it’s time to describe my appearance. I’m not tall, I’m 164 cm height. My mother always advises me to wear heels, but I don’t feel comfortable in that kind of shoes, so I usually wear flats. I’m not skinny. I have some muscles on me though (because of work, dance and sometimes workout) but I also have some belly. My figure is… you can say quite feminine. I have breasts (B-cup if I must be precise), but they could be a little bigger though to balance my curved hips and ass. In general, I wear size 38. Unlike to my feminine figure my face is much younger. Don’t get me wrong. In my opinion I have expressive facial features, but a lot of people think I’m younger than in reality. And some of them even think I’m underage and check my ID. Can you imagine that?! I laugh in their faces, when they ask me to show ID, and thinking I’m 17 it occurs I’m 27. Bam! That’s a balls kicker.   
So how do I look? Normal. I’ve got long blond hair, but saying long, I mean looong. They go back below my waist till back ends and ass starts. My bangs are shaded. Ordinary blue eyes, nothing special about them. Expressive, dark eyebrows, which never meet henna, and long eyelashes. Long, straight nose, which could be a little better in my opinion. Small, but full lips. Oh, there’s one more thing that people envy me except my hair - my nails. I must say, I have nice palms and long, slim fingers. My nails are always long, but never painted. Well, maybe sometimes… with transparent nail polish. Then they look like they had french manicure, but they haven’t been touched by french manicure ever. I don’t put make-up. I don’t need it. My skin is nice and clean. Only a little foundation, because every morning I have shadows under my eyes. I‘m sure it is because I don’t get enough sleep, while my friends always say it is because I have too much sleep. It’s our never ending quarrel.  
I was wearing dark violet turtleneck, tight, black pants and knee high black boots. My coat was black, with hood and belt around waist. My big, black bag was slung over my shoulder, as always. The only colorful thing was my turquoise woolen scarf and my loose hair.  
\- Everyone, this is Agnes - only Scott and Stiles greeted me by smiling - She’s going to help us…  
\- How this little girl stinking with cats can help us? - the Blond boy asked. Oh, my dislike just aggravated… I growled.  
\- Shut up Jackson! - it was Scott.  
I took a step forward to be closer to that boy. Everyone was silent. I turned my eyes turquoise.  
\- If you ever again call me little, girl or stinking with cats - I counted those expressions on my fingers, every time extending one of my nails to a claw - I will use that words and carve them on your naked body, then tie you to the front door and leave you to be the laughing stock of the school - I smiled menacingly showing him my fangs. He was speechless and terrified as he moved away from me.  
\- Wow, this I call some introducing - the man from the corner said.  
\- Peter… - I heard Derek growl in a warning.  
\- What? I liked that - I almost heard Derek rolling his eyes.  
\- You smell a little like Derek - I said - Who are you?  
\- I’m his uncle. Peter Hale - he smiled and bowed in an old fashion way.  
\- I’m not that old. Those pleasantries doesn’t affect me - I assured him and extended my hand to shake his.  
\- This means I can’t kiss your hand? - I again heard growling from Derek.  
\- Don’t you even dare - I warned him, but still had smile on my lips. After we shook hands I turned to Scott.  
\- Scott, I think we should have a normal greeting.  
\- Yeah - he smiled and shook my hand firmly. After that I smacked Stiles at the back of his head.  
\- Ouch! What was that for?! - he had thrown his hands in the air and was babbling something about everyone hitting him and his jeep.  
\- It was for rummaging in my bag - he wasn’t listening - Stiles - I had to growl at him.  
\- Yes! And you definitely should stop growling at me! And I don’t mean only you, I mean everyone! Because… - I had to stop him from talking. But how do you stop a hyperactive teenage boy? Teenage boy, who is filled with hormones… Ooo, I knew exactly how to do that and how to focus his attention on me.  
His jacket was unzipped and when he was raising his hands up I could see his navel. I licked my lips, as I knew this is going to be fun. I slipped my hand under his clothes, just above his belt. My fingers spread. Then clenched. I heard him hiss and felt his arousal. I had his full attention now and he had red scratches on his belly from my nails. His big, brown and beautiful eyes looking at me perplexed.   
It all happened within seconds. Scott was still beside us, but he wouldn’t dare to do anything to stop me. Derek was growling and the rest was watching wide-eyed. I put my hand on his nape and pulled him closer.  
\- You have to learn concentration Stiles… among other things - I said it so that everybody could hear me.   
\- What…  
\- Shhh… - I put a finger on his soft lips - You are not allowed to talk now, unless someone asks you a question - I said in a sweet, low voice - Do you understand?  
\- Yeah… - I released him, smiled at him and walked away from him. I approached the brunette.  
\- Don’t try your tricks on me, because they won’t work. I’m not afraid of you - she really wasn’t. Her heart rate was steady. I quirked an eyebrow at her.  
\- Yes, you are not afraid. I can feel it - she was surprised - But that doesn’t change the fact that you feel insecure and out of place. So why are you here…? - my voice and hands movement indicated that I want to know her name.  
\- Allison. My name’s Allison Argent - she said it like that meant something.  
\- Should that family name mean something to me? - I asked looking at Derek.  
\- It’s a family of hunters - my anger peaked - With whom we have a truce - he added to calm me down, but it was in vain.   
\- And she is here?! As a part of your pack?! - my anger rose. This time Scott reacted.  
\- Scott no! - I heard Derek shout, while Scott touched my hand.  
\- Agnes please… - he couldn’t finish his sentence, because I crushed that hand of his.  
\- Do. Not. Touch. Me - I growled at him.  
\- Agnes, calm down - it was Derek, standing beside me.  
\- Do not tell me what to do Derek. I’m not a child - he only poured oil to the fire.  
\- But you’re as stubborn - I had to smile at that. He once told me that and it humored me then. And now it did the same. I calmed a little and looked at Scott. His hand was still healing. I huffed. I shouldn’t hurt him like that. I let him feel my remorse as a silent apology. He looked at me and nodded as he accepted it.   
\- Still, I wasn’t answered why is she here? - I tried to calm my voice down, but knew I still sounded angry.  
\- She can help us defend against the alphas - Derek reasoned.  
\- That, I understand, but it doesn’t explain why a hunter is among a pack of werewolves? It’s not like you didn’t know who she is and yet let her be. Why? - I was looking at Derek, but my instincts told me to look at Scott again.   
\- I… - he started hesitantly and looked at Allison.  
\- We were seeing each other - she said - But then we broke up - I felt her sadness - And we’re not together anymore - she added immediately.  
\- But you wish you could be together again - it was deep down inside her, that feeling.  
\- I… don’t know… - she said slowly. She wasn’t lying. She really didn’t know.  
\- It’s your life, your decision - I wasn’t going to interfere in that - But tell me this. Why are you here? Why helping them? - those questions were bothering me.  
\- Because despite there’re some issues between us they are still my friends - she smiled a little not looking at me.  
\- And your family?  
\- The truce we have with Allison’s father - Derek said, putting emphasis on the “father” part - is strong, despite some issues as she had named it. We don’t want to fight against each other. Especially now, when we have to deal the alpha pack. I huffed.  
\- Ok. I agree. I approve - I said looking at Derek, then at Alison and smiled. She smiled back. I moved my gaze to Strawberry blond - Do you know who you are? - She was looking at me with eyes wide open and her lips in this o-shape. I knew she was terrified. Then she flipped her hair and said.  
\- Of course I know. I’m Lydia Martin. And you didn’t deign to introduce yourself properly. And that’s just rude - she straightened her dress and put her palms flat on her laps like those good girls do. I was surprised. I smirked.  
\- Some perfect housewife here? - I quirked my eyebrow at her - And I never considered myself a polite person.  
\- Apparently not - ooo, she was feisty. I liked that. I smirked again.  
\- You’re not only a human Lydia - I felt a peak of curiosity from everyone - That’s why, I was asking if you know who or what you are - she fell silent.  
\- She was bitten, but haven’t turned - Derek started explaining - Then she was immune to Kanima’s poison… - I lifted my eyebrow at that - It was some mythical creature we had to deal…  
\- You described symptoms, but you don’t know the reason of that, do you? - I was watching him intently.  
\- No - he admitted after a while - Do you? - he asked with hope.   
I looked at Lydia and turned my head to the side. I noticed, I was doing that when I was thinking something through. I focused my senses on her. Her scent reminded me of something… but I couldn’t put my finger on it… I definitely have smelled it before…  
\- Not yet - I moved away from her. For now, there was nothing more I could do. I had to think about her in more peaceful place, where I could concentrate - Isaac… - I felt his fear - You don’t have to fear me - I smiled, while I was standing in front of him - What could a little girl like me do to a big boy like you? - I teased.  
\- A lot - he said wide-eyed. I smirked.  
\- That’s true. But as long as you don’t provoke me, I won’t harm you - I patted his arm. The moment I said “harm”, Derek started growling. I faced him - First you ask me for help and then you growl at me? - I said irritated.  
\- Don’t threaten my pack - he said through clenched teeth.  
\- Then discipline them - I hissed. The room became heavy with tension. We were glaring each other.   
\- I hate to break this staring contest… - Derek growled louder as Peter interfered - but I want to ask question everyone has in mind…  
\- Which is? - I looked at Peter, but I was still aware of Derek.  
\- Why are you helping us?  
\- Because I can. And because I’m not as mean as everybody thinks - I smirked, but that was it. There were no hidden truths. As always, I was honest to the bone.  
\- And that’s it?  
\- That’s it - I nodded.  
\- And what is your relationship witch us?  
\- Peter you’re pushing the line - Derek warned him.  
\- Oh, come on! You have problem with trusting people and now, out of the blue, you bring her in? - I felt Derek’s anger rising. I lifted my hand, to calm them and answered quickly.  
\- I’m a friend. I trust him. And I believe he trusts me too - I smiled a little at Derek and his anger started subside - But I don’t plan becoming part of this pack. I’m a cat - I started to explain - We are individuals, who walks their own path. It is not in my nature to be in a pack.  
\- Are you ok with that Derek? - I didn’t understand Peter’s question.  
\- She said she would help. I’m ok with that - he had time to calm down and his voice was steady, but I felt his disappointment.  
\- She is standing next to you, Derek. And doesn’t like when someone talks about her in third person - he looked at me, while Peter was grinning - And what’s with this “are you ok with that”? I could refuse to help and you wouldn’t be able to do anything about that - Derek growled a little - Don’t start. It won’t do any good.  
After a while we reached some kind on compromise between our difficult characters. I inhaled deeply. Then exhaled. Zen.  
\- Ok. I believe we have some kids to find - it was about time to do, what I came here for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating, but I've been quite bussy at work. Aha! and thank you for kudos :)

Derek nodded to Isaac, who picked a backpack and tossed it to him.  
\- This is Erica’s - he put out some t-shirt’s - and this is Boyd’s - I took them and inhaled their scent.  
\- Ugh - the smell was awful.  
\- Yeah, that’s teenagers’ scent… - Stiles had to speak. I smirked.  
\- It’s not that. They were together, weren’t they? Like a couple - I asked Derek and he nodded - That’s the thing that displeasures me - I told Stiles - And I told you not to talk unless asked, haven’t I? - I felt his nervousness.  
\- Yep. Totally zipping up.  
\- Let’s go - Derek motioned me to go first.  
\- You want me to lead? - ooo, that was something I wasn’t expecting from him.  
\- This time, yes - I had some sarcastic remark in my mind ready to be said, but seeing who was going with us, I had to protest.  
\- No. The Blond boy is not going with us - Derek growled at my stepping in his alpha business - Don’t growl at me. The boy is bad on me. You want me to find them, leave the boy then - my reasoning must convinced him, but he huffed showing his displeasure.  
\- Jackson stay here - the boy just snorted – Scott, you too - everyone looked at him surprised.  
\- What? No, man! You can’t do this! Those are my friends! - he was fuming. I rolled my eyes.  
\- Oh Scott… You really don’t understand, do you? - I mocked - Derek wants you to stay here to watch his den and the rest of the pack, while he isn’t here - said alpha gave me a growl, but this time I ignored it - It’s a sign of his trust - I gave him a hard look, so he knew I was serious.  
\- But… - he was quite shocked.  
\- Stay - the way Derek said it, with his alpha voice was cutting any further discussion.  
Scott obliged and we exited the house. Saying “we” I mean me, Derek, Peter and Isaac. I stopped in the middle of the lawn in front of the house. Erica and Boyd scents’ were around the house and disappearing into the forest. In various directions.  
\- You have to give me some leads Derek. Which direction should I follow? - he raised his hand and pointed space little to my right.  
\- There.  
\- Ok. Try to be quiet, so I could concentrate.  
I followed Derek’s tip and the scents. Moving away from the house I heard Scott saying:  
\- Is she serious? I mean Derek and trust? It’s like… - I didn’t pay attention to his babbling and focused on finding the betas. 

We were deep in the forest, when I caught some scents: blood, Erica, Boyd and five other werewolves. One of them was that brunette bitch. It looked like the betas were running from north-east to the Hale house. Then they stopped and were surrounded by alphas. There was a lot of dried blood, which indicated fight. Now I understand, why Derek wanted to find them so quickly. Kids were wounded and despite werewolf healing abilities their condition was bad. But I believe they're still alive, because otherwise their alpha would felt it. I told my companions what I deduced.  
\- Yeah... We found out the same - Derek nodded. Ugh... I knew this is pointless. I felt like he was testing me. And I didn't like it.  
\- You want me to follow that woman's scent? - I asked him, showing my displeasure. He just nodded. And I growled in irritation, but focused on the scent.  
It was faint, but I tried very hard not to lose it. We were walking for some time, still in the woods. But I could tell we were getting close to the edge of the forest and the woman's scent started to fade away. I also got distracted by other scents: car exhaust, people, food and many more. In the end I was confused.  
\- This is useless guys - I said discouraged - I lost it and now...  
\- Then find it - Derek was irritated and as always angry flashing his red eyes.  
\- Don't order me like that - I was hissing, because someone could hear us from the street - I'm not your subordinate.  
Derek started growling at me for disregarding his authority again, but I wasn't staying in the back. I also flashed my eyes at him and started growling. It was a warning. One more word from him and I'll attack, because his arrogance was starting to irritate me.  
The tension was visible. Isaac was scared, but Peter was cool under pressure:  
\- Derek as much as you like to show your alpha power, I suggest you to stop it now. Agnes said she lost the track, so maybe it's time to go back - I had a feeling Peter was taking some of his nephew's anger at himself, but I wasn't going to thank him for that. I could handle Derek and Peter's help wasn't needed.  
The look Derek gave his uncle meant trouble. I was almost sure, that when we'll be back they are going to fight.  
\- Not yet - the alpha was as always so exuberant. He just turned and started walking. I was perplexed, but what was I supposed to do? I followed him, just like Isaac and Peter who was huffing and murmuring under his breath:  
\- Such a drama queen... - I smirked at that.

As Derek said, we couldn't go back to his house. Of course not! What for? It is better to keep wandering around in the woods for all night! No matter others has to go to work the next day. But of course he doesn't care, because it's not his problem. Maybe we get lucky and the alphas will attack us. Oh, for fucking Sake!!  
Yes. I was babbling in my head. All the time. I didn't care that they could smell my anger and frustration. I only cared if Derek noticed that.  
Finally, the Hale house appeared before us. And my car. The rest was gone. And Scott. Sitting on the steps of the house.  
\- Where... - Isaac started.  
\- I told them to go home - Scott started - Jackson was bitching and I didn't know when will you be back - he stood before Derek like he was reporting to him. The alpha seemed to be quite pleased about that.  
\- Oh, we would be sooner, but someone decided to be all highly and mighty... - I said like I didn't care but of course I was all anger. Everybody could see that.  
\- That is enough! - he roared at me and when he turned to face me I knew he was wolfed, so I prepared myself.  
Isaac was terrified, Scott surprised. They didn't know what to do, but it was obvious not to get in the crossfire. Peter hushed them and placed himself in a safe distance from us, but still with a good view. He was expecting some kind of show...  
I knew Derek was better prepared to fight. Beside his muscles that ripped beneath his skin, I saw how he moved and what could he do to his opponent. But I didn't care. I was furious. At him, at males, at everything. I roared. I. Was. Furry.  
I pounced at him and we clashed. My legs clutched around his waist were causing him pain. My jaw instinctively wanted to clench on his neck and crush his throat along with the spine, but I only managed to bite him in the collar bone. My claws were ripping at his chest. He was able to throw me off and during that motion I was able to kick him. But only then I noticed he hurt me. My ribcage was almost crushed from pressure he put on it and I believe he did something to my knees, when he was peeling my legs off of him.  
By all means I was trying to avoid his punches and kicks. It was easy for some time, because with my speed I could make up my lack of training. But only until I got hit. The punch to my stomach was powerful and I swore, I was blind from pain for couple of seconds. I landed on the ground with a thud, panting and swearing. But I couldn't stay like that any longer. Derek was approaching me. I did something I learned at Capoeira (I never trained, only watched my friends train). It's called scissors. You basically slit someone's legs. I did it very fast, he even haven't noticed my moves and he was already landing on the ground. I managed to kick him while he was still in the air.  
The fight wasn't long, but it was intense. We both showed to each other our anger, frustration and displeasure. The reasons for those feelings were different, but in the end we looked the same: dirty, wet, panting, bloodied. We were looking in each other’s eyes and found something there... Calm and peace. It was weird, but it was soothing, calming and so peaceful. I haven't felt like that for a very long time. And I knew Derek was feeling the same.  
Also Peter noticed that, because I heard him say: Hmm, interesting. He thought he said it only to himself, but I definitely heard him.  
\- I assume you are done? - he said aloud this time.  
\- You're next Peter.  
\- Yes, yes, of course. But maybe first let them go home - Peter motioned me, Scott and Isaac - We have all night for you to beat me without witnesses - he winked at me - so I can always say I fell from the stairs.  
Derek growled. Scott was disgusted with Peter, but Isaac's reaction was disturbing to me. He felt terrified and sentimental at the same time. And then sad, but it quickly was replaced by feeling of freedom and relief. I was astonished. But only for a moment. Then I was all in pain. I had to sit on the stairs and concentrate on healing. Yeah... I learned how to do it by my own. As always. Like with everything.  
\- Scott bring her bag and make sure she returns home safe - I was surprised by his words, but when I looked at him, I only could see his back. He left into the woods without sparing me a glare.  
\- Men... - was all I could say.

***

I was in the bus. On my way to work. I was mindlessly staring out of the window. I couldn’t think anymore. I didn’t want to feel anything. I was overloaded. With emotions. With thoughts. I just wanted my heart to be ripped out of my chest and my brain eaten by monkeys. Yeah… those were my words, when I was heartbroken about a year ago. And though I wasn’t heartbroken now, they fitted perfectly my mood.  
The bus was driving over the bridge, when I smelled something weird. I wanted to ignore it, but fuck I couldn’t. I got out and followed this scent. I wandered around between buildings. The longer it took, the more irritated I was. But finally I stood before a place were the scent was the strongest. It was a veterinary clinic. I was very surprised.  
The moment I entered the clinic, I was hit with overwhelming stink caused by medicines and animals. Don’t get me wrong. I’m used to that because of my studies, but now when my senses were enhanced, it became difficult to manage. I coughed a little and tried to get use to the scents.  
\- How can I help you? - asked the receptionist friendly. I looked around and realized she was addressing me.  
\- I… ymm… would like to consult about my cat with doctor…  
\- Deaton?  
\- Yes, with doctor Deaton - I was already putting to memory that name, ‘cos something told me it would be useful later.  
\- Would you like to make an appointment?  
\- Not now - I noticed business cards and took one - Thank you and goodbye - I smiled a little.  
Now, that I know were to find, I definitely was going to visit this healer - I inhaled the air there and with this thought in mine mind I left.

***

\- Scott’s not here I assume? - I asked politely. There was only me in the hall. I waited till everyone was gone, which wasn’t long. The clinic obviously hasn’t got too many patients.  
\- Should he be? - dark skinned man answered me calmly. I smiled.  
\- You know… It is rude to answer question to a question - I smirked this time.  
\- I don’t think I should be polite to a person, who doesn’t even introduces herself - his voice still calm. Because he was calm. This man was very calm and composed.  
\- My name won’t be any use to you. But… - I knew I have to interest him somehow, because otherwise he’s going to kick me out - I came here to introduce myself to you in a different manner… - ooo, he was good. So composed… but underneath, I could felt his interest picked.  
I started circling around him, to see if he’ll understand what I am. Never leaving his eyes, as he did the same. I was wondering, if he knew he was challenging me. I could charge at him any moment. But probably he knew. I felt he knew. That, and a lot more. He would be useful. I should not harm him. On the other hand, I was wondering if I would be able to harm him… But today was not a day to find that out.  
\- How much do you know about cats?  
\- As much as a veterinarian should know to do his job properly - ooo, he wasn’t going to slip anything…  
\- Ok, so maybe I’ll start. Cats have weaker sense of smell than dogs, but it doesn’t mean I can’t smell those herbs you keep here – I knocked my nail on doors of his wall cabinet – Or other “stuff” you keep in this clinic – I was eyeing him very closely, listening to beating of his heart and concentrating on his smell and feelings. He was so damn composed! Was he a monk or something?!  
\- If you are looking for drugs…  
\- Hahaha!! Drugs? Are you serious? I don’t need shit like that – I had to lean on the exam table to keep my composure.  
I looked seriously at him.  
\- I’m talking about things that make me want to sneeze. Things that make air vibrate around them. It’s not only smell. There’s a feeling also… - now he was watching me closely – Let’s be clear: you are not a normal veterinarian and I am not a normal cat owner.  
That seemed to convince him a bit.  
\- What do you want from me then?  
\- What I asked you before. How much do you know about cats?  
\- I assume it’s not about an average cat? – I smiled, but then was serious again.  
\- No, it’s not. It is about a werecat… - I watched him closely again. He wasn’t that surprised. So he knows...  
\- Werecats are rare…  
\- Wait! Why aren’t you persuading me there are no werecats? Are you going to support crazy woman on her believes to deceive her? And then call 911? – I mocked, but he haven’t caught the joke.  
\- I don’t think you are crazy…  
\- And you don’t think meeting werecats and werewolves doesn’t count as crazy?  
\- What do you mean: meeting werewolves?  
\- I am familiar with Derek and his pack. All of his pack. And also had an unpleasant encounter with one of the alphas… - ooo, now he was extremely interested. And disturbed.  
\- And you are still alive. I’m impressed.  
\- Something tells me, it’s not easy to impress you…  
\- You are correct – he nodded.  
\- In that case – I smiled – Thank you for the compliment – this time he smiled.  
There was silence between us. I decided it’s time for me to come to the point.  
\- I came here because I believe you have sources and abilities to expand my knowledge about werecats, about my kind…  
\- As I said before, werecats are rare…  
\- And as I said before, I believe you have the most effective sources and abilities – I was getting angry, but understood I had to trade with him – Ok, what do you want from me in exchange? – he seemed surprised. I lifted my eyebrow at him.  
\- First tell me this: what is your connection to Hale Pack? – I huffed.  
\- I am not part of this pack. I’m a werecat for Gods’ Sake – why don’t they understand that?  
\- Derek’s pack consists of lot of things…  
\- Mostly of teenagers – I snorted.  
\- That is not what I am talking about…  
\- Yes, I know what you’re talking about – I looked at him thoughtfully – I’m not a part nor I want to be.  
\- What if they ask you for help? – I smirked.  
\- Derek already did – it was Deaton’s turn to raise his brows – To find this Alpha Pack and his Betas.  
\- Is that so… - I nodded.  
\- Something tells me you’re not on good terms with each other…  
\- We should be… - there was sadness in his voice – But Derek has… – he was carefully picking his words – issues that are blocking him – I smirked.  
\- O yeah, I know what you mean. He has a lot of issues. But I’m not here to talk about him.  
\- It seems he trusts you… - Deaton was lost in his thoughts and didn’t seem to listen.  
I could always remind him it’s not wise to lost focus near a wild animal…  
\- So how is it going? – he finally spoke.  
\- What?  
\- Looking for Betas and the Alpha Pack.  
\- Fucking fantastic! Last time we ended all claws, fangs and blood – Deaton looked at me perplexed.  
\- You were attacked by the alphas?  
\- No. I was attacked by Derek and he was attacked by me – I grinned.  
\- I think I don’t understand…  
\- He pissed me with his alpha boss ass so I stood up to him... And it ended almost gore. In fact it should have been censored for Scott and Isaac as they are underage – I was grinning.  
\- You stood up to Derek in front of his pack?  
\- It just happened – I shrugged – He knows how to pull my strings… The same comes for me.  
\- I see… You are quite an independent young woman.  
\- I am a very independent young woman – again I grinned.  
\- Interesting… - he looked at me with new interest. I didn’t like it.  
\- Don’t say that – I almost growled – It is enough Peter says that.  
\- Does he?  
\- Yes – this time it was a growl. I hoped it will stop him from further questions. I was right – So, what do you want in exchange from me?  
\- Let’s do that: I’ll start looking for information and when I gather some more, I let you know – I nodded.  
\- Mhmm. You can tell Scott to contact me, but don’t give him any information. Can we do that?  
\- You don’t trust him?  
\- Scott has a big heart. It’s easy to trust him – Deaton looked at me like I was avoiding the answer – I do trust him. But I would prefer him learning things about me from me, ok?  
\- Yes.  
\- Thank you. But you still haven’t told me…  
\- I will ask you for my favor when time comes – he answered cryptically.  
\- I don’t like it, but I trust you – I looked him in the eye.  
\- Really? – he was visibly surprised.  
\- Yes – I grinned as I came closer to him – But be aware – our eyes still on each other – I know where to find you, if I lose this trust – I whispered the last part to his ear.  
Ooo, this was fun. I started circling him again.  
\- You know, you could ask Stiles to research those information for you? – I snorted.  
\- And hear all those questions about heat?! – I asked rhetorically – No. Thank you.  
\- You are probably right – he smirked lightly.  
I stepped back and smiled warmly. Yes, I could smile like that. I just usually haven’t got reasons to do that.  
\- Well… I think it’s time for me to go – I reached my hand to shake his – It was nice meeting you doctor Deaton.  
\- You to – he smiled.  
\- Really? Or you’re just saying that out of politeness? – I winked at him, but the moment later I felt a wave of sentiment coming from him.  
\- Do I… remind you of someone? – I felt déjà vie.  
\- Yes… a friend. She passed away last year – shit! I hated situations like that.  
\- It’s sad to hear that… - now I just wanted to get out of here immediately.  
\- Yes… it is – he was deep in thoughts, so I started leaving – I didn’t get your name! – he shouted behind my back.  
\- Oh, yeah… - I smiled – It’s Agnes – and with that, I left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for so long, but I was busy at work again. But the story is definetly in progress! Especially when season 3 is now on air :D  
> As for the comment: She hasn't accepted the supernatural at all. She just goes with the flow and not dwells on things too much. It will be explained later.  
> Hope you'll enjoy next chapters :)

I was on my way to my English course, listening „With the teeth” Nine Inch Nails, when my phone vibrated. I looked who it was. Stiles. I groaned. This was not going to be good…  
\- Yeah?  
\- Oh, thank God! - Stiles exclaimed. I thought what God has to do with that?  
\- Stiles, right now I don’t have time to chat with you. Has something happened?  
\- No, nothing I know of. I think Scott would tell me if… - I couldn’t stand his rambling.  
\- Stiles! What the fuck do you want from me!? - I know, I was on the street, but the kid was infuriating.  
\- Jesus… chill. I… I wanted to ask you, if you could help me with my math homework? - was the kid blushing? I could hear his heart racing with anticipation. And to be honest? I liked that…  
\- Math? Really?  
\- Yeah… - I huffed.  
\- Ok. But I’m free after 7 pm and you have to come here to pick me up - I wasn’t asking.  
\- Aye captain! - he joked cheerfully. I rolled my eyes, gave him the address and hung up.

As it turned out I wasn’t the only person Stiles asked to his house. There was also Scott and Isaac in his room. As I walked in, I felt their anxiety. I didn’t like that. I didn’t want them to be afraid of me.  
In fact, I never wanted people to be afraid of me, but somehow I managed to get people anxious. I never could understand how this small and insignificant person who was me could have that influence on people.  
\- Oh, I thought we were gonna study not party - I said with a smile, as I tried to lighten the mood.  
\- We’re in the same class, so we thought… - Scott started.  
\- If it’s not ok with you, we can go… - Isaac was already lifting from the floor.  
\- Oh, come on guys! Of course we can all work on the derivative of the function – I motioned them to stay where they were - I know, I might be the same age as some of your teachers, but I’m not that old for God’s sake. It’s ok as long as you won’t start talking stupid things to me, ok? - They all nodded.  
For the next 45 minutes I was explaining them the topic, which to be honest I had to refresh strongly from their books. High school was long time ago for me. Then they started doing examples step by step. I had to admit, that Stiles was the brightest from the three of them. He understood the problem and knew how to solve it. Soon he was helping Scott and Isaac with their examples.  
\- Can we take a break? I’m beat! - said exhausted Scott. I raised my brow at that.  
\- You are beat after a hour with minutes of math? How are you gonna survive studies with hour and a half classes? Or sometimes even longer? - his eyes went wide. It was hilarious.  
\- I don’t want to think about that now - he replied.  
\- Yeah, you usually don’t want to think at all - Stiles mocked and I had to smile at that. I was starting to like that over talkative boy.  
\- Hey! That’s unfair. I helped you with… - the two of them started arguing, but I lost interest in them.  
I looked at Isaac, who was always so quiet and distant, like he wanted to vanish or make himself invisible or just to be left alone. He noticed me looking at him and for a second our eyes meet. I felt he wanted to ask me about something, but his shyness stopped him. I smiled to encourage him and he started blushing. He looked at the floor. I just sighed and walked to the window. It was getting late and I should probably go home, but I could also use this opportunity to ask them some questions. I just didn’t know which should be first.  
\- Will you really be able to track them? - I heard Isaac ask warily behind my back. I turned to him. He was looking at me with lost puppy eyes. The boys stopped whatever they were doing and looked at me, at Isaac and again at me.  
\- You miss them so much? - I asked with concern, I never thought I had. He nodded.  
\- They were… no, they are my friends and… and pack.  
\- When it comes to a pack, I don’t know anything about it, but I know how it is to miss a friend - I smiled a little - And I will help as much as I can to get them back.  
Ugh, it just sounded like a promise. I’m not good with promises, because if you won’t keep it, even if it is not your fault, people will always put it on you.  
\- Can you tell me how it happened in the first place? - this was one of my questions, and maybe during the answer I might get some more details about all this situation.  
\- Because Derek is a shitty alpha - was Scott’s immediate answer.  
\- And you’re a shitty werewolf too, dude - Stiles finally said something. I started to worry, when he was quiet for so long. - You didn’t know any werewolf stuff! I had to tell you everything. And also, I taught you how to control the wolf - he said that with pride.  
\- Learning control isn’t that hard - I interrupted their quarrel. Stiles snorted.  
\- Yeah, right. Wish you were here couple of months ago. This guy here - he shook Scott by his shoulders – is no egghead.  
\- And that only proves my point!  
\- It’s easy, if you have an anchor - Isaac spoke absentmindedly.  
\- What is an anchor? - I had to ask. All of the boys looked at me like I was from space. - What?! - I snapped.  
\- You really don’t know? How do you even shift? - Stiles as always wanted to know everything.  
\- I almost order myself to do it and it happens - Stiles rolled his eyes and flailed his hands.  
\- But what do you feel then? Or what do you think about?  
\- Emotions - was all I said. I wasn’t going to tell them how I managed to gain control over my cat, over myself… Because honestly? I didn’t know myself. There were too many emotions, too many things I was thinking, too much pain… I was definitely not talking about that with them.  
\- Oh my god! It’s like talking with Derek! Are you also emotionally conspirated like him? Because I noticed, unlike him, you know how to use your words - Stiles was getting on my nerves, so I had to mitigated him.  
\- Do not talk to me about my emotions like you know them Stiles - I said in a low voice.  
\- Yep, you’re definitely emotionally conspira… - Scott cut him off, putting a hand over his mouth.  
\- Stiles you should stop. Don’t you see, she’s pissed?  
\- An anchor is a person, an emotion that triggers your shift and also lets you come back - Isaac supplied me with an answer - For me it’s my father - he was ashamed, when Scott shoot him look like “WTF man?”.  
\- For me it’s… Allison - he also admitted, little ashamed - And for you Agnes?  
\- It’s complicated - I blunted, but the werewolves knew it’s the truth.  
\- Come on… - Stiles whined.  
\- Shut up Stiles. It’s true.  
\- Your little werewolf senses are telling you that? - he mocked.  
\- Little? - Scott was very easy to lost the main track - … Not the point. Yes, they are.  
\- Thank you Scott. Now, that we know your senses are small… - I grinned and heard Stiles and Isaac giggle - Could you please tell me from the start how this all happened? - I saw Stiles’ eyes lit whit anticipation and excitement - But please, cut the crap with nature descriptions, characteristics and romance developments. Stick to the facts, ok?

So for the next hour or more I was filled with all the events that happened during the last months. It started with finding the body of Laura Hale, Derek’s sister (Half of the body! What? It’s crucial information, because of that we went looking for another half - Stiles of course had to elaborate). So during the search for another half Scott got bitten, then they met Derek (Unpleasant Hale - Scott interrupted)(Dude! He gave you back your inhaler)(Yeah, but as it occurred, I didn’t need it anymore). Then was Allison. Meeting with her, meeting her father (and finding out her whole family are werewolves hunters) and again Allison when Scott learned control. Then Stiles started babbling about his crush on Lydia and I had to stop them (Guys, one more word about love or infatuation and I will cut your scrotum, take out your testicles, throw them away and tie a bow with your spermatic cord. And I warn you, I really know how to do it). After that there were no side love stories.  
Then were those animal attacks that had occurred to be done by Peter, when he became an alpha after killing Laura (I knew there was more than meets the eye when it comes to that man). As the alpha he healed from burns he got from surviving the Hale fire. He was driven by instinct and started killing people who were responsible for the fire. He also killed the ringleader - Kate Argent (Allison’s aunt and Derek’s former girlfriend when he was a teenager, who then tortured him and tried to kill him). Derek was accused of killing his sister and the janitor at school.  
In the meantime Peter tried to bit Scott’s mom as an encourage for Scott to join his pack (if Peter will think about something like that with me, I’m going to kill him)(Oh! And you know what? Alphas can show you their memories by digging their claws into your neck - you knew that?)(No Stiles, I didn’t know that) and has ordered Derek to kill Jackson. Also, Peter offered the bite to Stiles (but he declined), unsuccessfully bit Lydia, because (as I already knew) she haven’t turned. Instead, she went missing and after she was found, everyone thought she was crazy. People thought that she was the one eating organs from dead bodies. On top of that, she was wandering naked in the woods. She was in shock and her sanity was questioned.  
Then Derek decided to kill Peter and he became the alpha (I got very colorful description of how did they manage to put down an Alpha), which led to him biting Jackson, Isaac, Erica and Boyd to create his pack. But it occurred that Jackson was immune to the bite and soon he became the Kanima, first controlled by some Matt and then by Gerard, Allison’s grandfather (what the fuck?! What’s with those Argents? They are everywhere). Isaac’s father was killed by the Kanima (so in fact, by Jackson), there was a massacre at the police station and Scott’s mom get to know he’s a werewolf (Wow, how did she take it?)(She wasn’t talking to me for two weeks, but it’s quite ok now). Matt was found dead, Allison’s mother killed herself, after Derek bit her in order to save Scott, who she tried to kill.  
Peter managed to come back from the death and he used Lydia and Derek to do that (What? Wait. How did he do that?)(Well… he threatened her, that he’ll kill everybody. And believe me, with Peter freaking Hale it was possible)(And how did Derek help?)(Yyy, we don’t really know)(I wasn’t satisfied with this answer).  
Erica and Boyd left to find another pack (it caught my breath. How Derek could let this happen? Wasn’t the pack the most important thing for werewolves?), but Gerard caught and imprisoned them, and beat the crap out of Stiles (I could feel his shame and embarrassment). Then he used Kanima to blackmail Scott to make Derek bit him, so he could cure himself from cancer, but it didn’t work, because Scott slipped mountain ash to his medications.  
So now Jackson is finally a werewolf, Gerard is nowhere to be found (even his family doesn’t know where he is), Erica and Boyd are still missing and to add a cherry on top of that fucking cake, alpha pack is in town! Oh, and Stiles’ father starts suspecting something is off… Awesome!! Just fucking awesome…  
\- Fuck… - was all I could manage after all this information. Some things become clearer now and some just complicated more.  
\- Yep, this is just life of a normal teenager in this town - Stiles sarcastically summed it up.  
\- This is not normal. This is all so fucked up - I noted.  
\- That was sarcastic…  
\- I know, moron - I rolled my eyes - Well… This explains, why Derek acts like he acts…  
\- Wait, what? - Scott and his big eyes welcomed the conversation.  
\- Oh, come on. Don’t you see that? - for someone who solved two mysteries of the city, those kids were pretty oblivious to Derek’s reasoning. They shook their heads. I huffed. - Why do you think, he’s so “emotionally conspirated” as you put it Stiles? - still nothing from the boys - O. My. Fucking. God!! - I had to raise hands to this nonexistent god - How would you feel, if all your family was burned alive?! By your ex? How would you feel, if your uncle had killed your sister? Wouldn’t you be devastated? Hated people and life? Would you be able to go on and live? To try to stop your last family member before he would kill everybody? And follow your instincts to create a pack and cake care of them? - as I shouted all those questions at Scott, I started to develop a feeling of admiration towards Derek. Really, how was he able to get up every day and live on? If my family was dead, I think I… I would end up in a psychiatric hospital with a general break down.  
\- He’s not taking care of us, he’s a dick! - Scott shouted angry at me. I could feel shock from both Stiles and Isaac and a lot of buried emotions in Scott.  
Scott’s issues with Derek weren’t just about the pack thing. There was something deeper. Something dark hidden very deep inside Scott’s soul and was emerging right now. But though I really wanted to know what those deep emotions were to help Scott cope with them, I couldn’t manage to subside my anger at his words toward Derek. And I slapped him in the face. Hard. The impact caused him to lose balance and he felt on the floor with a thud. Again I felt shock, but this time from all the boys.  
\- I’m not taking his side, but you will not say thing like that about Derek again - I said in a low voice, trying to contain my anger. My face was leveled to his and I could see his cheek burning red. - Imagine Allison kills your mother and then someone kills Stiles - I pointed at his friend to emphasize my words - Then imagine how would you feel and realize, that Derek is walking that kind of hell everyday - I got up and started leaving, but then remembered something - Stiles walk me to the door, will you? - I felt his fear, but he feared more not to obey me.  
\- You’re not going to eat me, right?  
\- Depends on what kind of eating you’re talking - I grinned. I had to admit, the boy was a challenge I was willing to accept.  
\- I just pretend I didn’t hear that…  
We were by his front door. I knew Scott and Isaac were still in his room, so they could hear what I was going to say. Good, I wanted them to hear it, I just particularly didn’t want to face them now.  
\- Stiles there is something I wanted discuss with you, but after this… disagreement with Scott I think it’s better if we talk tomorrow - I watched him closely. It was little difficult, because he was taller than me, his lean body next to mine… I wanted to touch him, but was almost 100% sure he would flinch.  
\- What is it? - his curiosity took over anxiety as he whispered.  
\- I think I know what you and Lydia are… - his brown eyes became enormously big, his breath caught in his lungs, his hands flailing as he was speechless.  
It was nice to make him speechless. What was not nice, was that he tripped and almost failed to the floor, but I caught him by the elbow and steadied. I smiled at him.  
\- How? What? When? Oh my god…  
\- I haven’t told you what exactly and you’re already acting like this? - I smirked.  
\- If you know, then it has to be something nasty. Jackson turned into Kanima, so we probably will be much worse, like… - he started to use his imagination, but I cut him off.  
\- Stiles - I took him by the arm - Focus Stiles - I cupped his cheek with my other hand and this tenderness seemed to get his attention.  
\- How can you first slap someone with a force that throws them of balance and then be so gentle with the same hand - I smiled a little, because I was asking myself the same question.  
\- It’s just who I am. Bipolar. Listen. We should probably meet with Lydia, so I could talk with you both…  
\- And Derek.  
\- What?  
\- Talk to Derek too, ‘cos you know, it’s pack business - he shrugged and I huffed - What? I thought… The way you were acting upstairs…  
\- I don’t want to know what you thought, but my last meeting with Derek ended in me almost ripping his throat out and vice versa, so I don’t think he’ll be happy to see me again soon - I smiled bitterly.  
\- Wow, it’s nice to hear someone finally kicked his ass - I glanced at him dangerously - but he’s the alpha and this is pack’s stuff, so you should definitely include him in this conversation - I growled a little with frustration.  
\- Fine. I’ll set up a meeting with him - Stiles nodded - Tomorrow. In the evening. And I don’t care if anybody has planes for Friday night.  
\- We’ll throw a party at the Hale house - Stiles wiggled his eyebrows.  
\- Yeah… and Derek we’ll throw you out, through a window.  
\- Sarcastic. I like that - I had to smile at that.  
\- Go to bed Stiles - I patted him on the shoulder - Have a good night for all that.  
\- And have dreams about you? - I heard him behind my back.  
\- You don’t want to have dreams about me…

This was all fucked up. So fucked up. Why do I have a tendency to put myself in fucked up situations? Haven’t I had enough of them in my life so far? And now I just added next ones.  
This was frustrating. My job was frustrating, my friends were frustrating and men were frustrating also. And what was the most frustrating, I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck, whip, bite, scratch, dominate. My need was becoming so difficult to manage, that it started to hurt.

I had to contact Derek, but I didn’t want to so badly. Maybe I do it tomorrow? No, fuck it has to be done today. Ok, so one more minutes of this relaxing walk and I’ll text him, ‘cos calling was not an option.  
After few rewritings I ended up with a text:  
To Derek:  
I have some pack’s stuff to discuss with you about Lydia and Stiles. All interested, meeting tomorrow in the evening?  
Couple of minutes later:  
From Derek:  
Ok. I’ll send the details when I get them  
To Derek:  
Ok

Well, that went smooth. But tomorrow might be a completely different story…


	7. Chapter 7

The meeting was set at 8pm at Isaac’s house. I didn’t know it was his house, because Derek only texted me an address. I called Stiles to check it with him and he filled me with that info. He also said that Scott is not coming. When I said he’s acting like a upset girl, Stiles laughed and said he had told Scott the same. I grinned. Then remembered Scott’s emotions. I tentatively asked Stiles about his friend’s father. He was silent for a moment, but then he said:

\- We kinda don’t talk about him.  
\- That is why I’m talking to you Stiles, not Scott. Where is he? Are Scott’s parents divorced? - in my opinion information about Scott’s father was the key to his approach to Derek - This is important Stiles. For Scott, not for me.  
\- Thank god he’s not around anymore - he said finally.  
\- Are they divorced?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Did he do something to Scott or his mother? - I knew this question might be too much, but if the answer was positive, then I thought I had figured it out - Stiles, whatever it was it is affecting him now.  
\- How? - I could feel his concern.  
\- Just tell me now and I’ll explain it to you latter - he sighed.  
\- Yeah… he did. I mean he did something to Scott and his mom. I remember him yelling, that he never wanted to see him again. Is that enough? I already feel bad.  
\- Don’t be Stiles. You haven’t done anything to feel bad about - I assured him honestly - Thank you. And see you at the meeting tonight.  
\- Yeah, bye.

 

I must say I was nervous before the meeting. It was of course because of how I interacted with Derek. No matter how calm and composed I tried to be, there always seemed to be a button he pushed with a word, tone of his voice or movement that made me angry and even triggered my shift. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m a ticking bomb all the time, just waiting to explode. I’m worse. I’m like the sun, exploding all the time, but I have this very strong magnetic field that is keeping my shit together. That magnetic field is my patience and restraint. If I hadn’t had those two personality traits, I would hurt and kill a lot of people around me. I’m not kidding. As a human, for which I considered myself till recently, I would of course never kill anybody. But with this newfound feline abilities it is very hard to compose myself, to hold back. To not let my predator instinct guide me. Because, honest to all Gods, I would definitely kill…

This time I wasn’t late. I was even earlier, but I didn’t want to come in yet. I knew Derek and Isaac were inside the house. They were moving something, not talking too much. Were they cleaning the house? Somewhat I couldn’t imagine Derek doing chores. It felt almost surreal.  
On the opposite side of the road stood Jackson’s Porsche. I looked at the big white house behind the car. It was very modern and it smelled like Jackson and Lydia. But it didn’t smell like Jackson’s relatives, but then I remembered. Jackson was adopted and that solved the lack of family scent.  
My contemplations were interrupted by loud noises made by a blue Jeep. Stiles arrived. Good. I didn’t want to get there alone. Stop! What? I didn’t want to go somewhere alone?? Almost all of my life I was alone, always doing things alone. Why the fuck now wouldn’t I? 

I got out of my car and greeted Stiles with a smile.  
\- You’re in a good mood today?  
\- Not really - he looked at me, opened his arms, mouth and shook his head. I burst out laughing.  
\- Now you’re in a good mood - he said triumphal and smiled.

We went into the house. Me first. I tried to get a hint of Derek’s mood, so I stooped mid step. Just listening, feeling him. He was controlling his breathing. Bad sign. If he was controlling himself, it meant he was already pissed. His walk was heavy and I could hear him clutch his fingers on the box he was carrying. He was emitting all of the negative emotions, just like a storm cloud. Then I realized, how people in my surroundings felt when I was like that. I looked at Isaac covered in dust.

\- Hi - I smiled.  
\- Hi.  
\- Some cleaning and moving?  
\- Um, yeah. I’m throwing out my father’s things - Isaac confessed.  
\- Oh… - what else could I say about that?  
\- Derek said you wanted to talk about something… - he started, looking shyly at me.  
\- Yes, I want to talk to all of you - I motioned at Stiles, who was somewhere behind me and Lydia with Jackson, who have come while I was talking with Isaac, but I didn’t pay attention to them till now - So it would be nice, if you could come here Derek - it felt like dealing with a very stubborn child. You have to be cautious, tender, but at the same time determined. Except, a child won’t rip your throat out…

When he finally showed himself, his look was hard, jaw set, shoulders tensed, but his face was blank. His attitude screamed: fuck off. I sighed. I hadn’t had any experience with children, especially stubborn and I never would have count myself a subtle person, so… This could go bad, extremely bad…  
\- You know Alan Deaton… - I started and already felt his anger and Isaac’s surprise, then I decided - Oh, fuck it. I won’t beat around the bush. The vet, Lydia and Stiles have the same scent - Isaac’s eyes went wide at that.  
\- Whaaat?! - Stiles exclaimed and almost jumped at me - I’m not some black, cryptic voodoo master!  
\- Stiles, calm down - I said as composed as I could.  
\- Calm down?! You calm down! Try to calm down when you have ADHD! - he started flailing his hands and hyperventilating. Shit! I had zero experience with children and also zero experience with teenagers, but I had to do something.  
I kneeled in front of Stiles and cupped his face in my warm hands. I looked him in the eye. He was looking everywhere, couldn’t focus his sight.  
\- Close your eyes Stiles - I said quietly and pulled his head so it was resting on my chest - Listen to my breathing and even with it. Listen to my heartbeat and steady yours - I started petting lightly on his buzz cut hair.

We were on the floor for couple of minutes, while everybody was silent and not moving. I was cradling Stiles in my arms and wasn’t paying attention to others. He was all that mattered now. After a while I noticed he started relaxing…  
\- Will someone explain what the heck is she talking about!? - that was Lydia Martin getting angry. It was an interesting experience.  
\- I am talking about the fact that you, Stiles and Deaton have the same scent, which means you have something in common - I said as I got up from the floor, making sure Stiles was ok now - And saying something in common, I mean that you have abilities… magical abilities… - Lydia’s eyes went wide, her lips in this characteristic o-shape, she was shocked. But then, it changed.  
\- Magical? Don’t be ridiculous - she snorted and pursed her lips. I had to roll my eyes at that.  
\- How do you know that? - it was Derek, he finally spoke. He wasn’t neglecting my words, which meant he was considering them. That was good.  
\- I’m familiar with this scent that connects the three of them. And now I finally know what it means - I started, but knew I had to explain this further - During my studies I have been living in various parts of the city. I don’t know how long Deaton has his clinic exactly where it is now, but it may be possible that for over three years I was passing it on my way to the University. And for the last five months I was passing it again, smelling this scent unaware. So when I meet Lydia and her scent, it felt familiar somehow. I went to that clinic and talked with Deaton. After that, I was certain he is not an ordinary veterinarian and that Lidia has some kind of magic in her…  
\- And me? - Stiles asked, like I had forgotten about him.  
\- You Stiles are a teenage boy… - I smiled although I believe the rest of them didn’t understand why - and this “magic smell” was covered with the scent of your hormones. That’s why I hadn’t recognized it during our first or second meeting. Only when I was in your room yesterday and got to know your scent better, I was able to connect you to it, like I did with Lydia.  
\- But Lydia is also a teenager… - Isaac pointed out. I smiled again.  
\- Yes, but… how to say it. Lydia is a satisfied teenager and her hormones aren’t covering her scent… opposite to Stiles - there was a group “Ohh” as they understood what I meant and Stiles’ cheeks become incredibly red, which I liked, oh how much I liked them…  
\- How do you know it’s magic? - that was Derek again, were we playing 20 questions?  
\- You know how I know - I looked him in the eye, though this wasn’t his intension, I felt like he was challenging me - The scent of magic makes you want to sneeze. When you’re near anything magical like special herbs, stones, artefacts or actual magic your skin tingles. You have this very strong feeling to get the hell away from it as far as you can. Have I passed? - I had to ask, sorry, I just had to. Derek only huffed and nodded.  
\- So what now? Do we go to Hogsmeade and buy ourselves a wand? - Stiles and his pop culture references. I rolled my eyes, but smiled at the same time.  
\- No. I think you should go to Deaton and ask him for guidance and directions.  
\- You serious!? - I hoped he won’t get any more panic attacks.  
\- Yes, I am serious. Stiles this isn’t any fantasy book or movie, this is life. A real life. And in the real life people get hurt and killed. And you - I pointed at all of them - have experienced it on your own skin already. So yes, if you want to be able to protect yourselves and the ones that you care about, you will go and talk to Deaton - my look was hard on Stiles and Lydia, as if it was hammering my words into their heads. Finally I averted my eyes and directed to Derek - Are you for or against?  
\- For - he just said one word, but I felt like it was a weight off my mind - What time does the clinic closes tomorrow?  
\- 4pm, I guess - Isaac answered unsure.  
\- Yeah, something like that - Stiles confirmed.  
\- Quarter to four. At the clinic. Lydia, Stiles… be there - that seemed to finish the meeting, but I definitely wasn’t finished with Derek.  
\- Jackson, we’re leaving - said Lydia, flipped her hair and was gone. That was fast.  
\- I need to talk with you - I addressed Derek in a voice that doesn’t take no for an answer. He shoot me a “You aren’t done talking yet?” glare and I smiled - I’m not doing this because I looove to hear my voice, but because I have something to tell you. Something important - I locked my eyes with his and finally found there some understanding - In private - as if it is possible with werewolves.  
\- Isaac, wait - he said to his beta and just started leaving the house. I huffed.  
\- Stiles you can go home - I said shortly, but then decided to check up on the boy - If you’re feeling ok that is, because if not, you can wait for me - I smiled warmly at him. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to nuzzle my nose into his neck as to reassure him.  
\- No, it’s ok. I’m a big boy you know, I can drive myself home. See you tomorrow - he smiled and was gone. I huffed again as I got frustrated again.

I was going for the back door, to join Derek somewhere outside, when I glanced at Isaac. He looked… miserable. Sadness was rolling off of him. I thought: why is he doing it, if it hurts him so much? But then I understood. It was some kind of catharsis. His father was no more in Isaac’s life. Now he had to not only throw his father’s things, but also throw him out of his head and maybe even out of his heart. Though the bastard had been beating Isaac for years, he still was his father… Firs, Isaac was hurt physically and now he is hurt mentally. When will he not be hurt?  
I moved close to him and squeezed his arm reassuringly.  
\- Don’t be sorry that you are alive Isaac - I said quietly and left.

 

I reached Derek after couple of minutes. He was irritated, of course, but it didn’t faze me. If he was planning on still not showing any positive feelings towards people, then… Well, he will have to change his plans.  
\- You heard? - I motioned the house with my thumb. He just nodded - And this distance is enough for Isaac not to hear us?  
\- He’s a beta, I’m an alpha - I raised my brow at that as if asking “so what?”. He huffed - His hearing distance is not as long as mine.  
\- Ohh… - I wanted to mock him about his “better, faster, stronger” abilities as an alpha, but my common sense forbid me from that - Ok, so… - I started fidgeting a little. Why was I fidgeting? I’m not a child anymore - You have to change your attitude - he huffed again.  
\- I’ve heard that before. Was Stiles talking to you?  
\- Indeed, he was. But this has nothing to do with Stiles. It has to do with Scott - his heart skipped a beat and I knew I had his attention - Yeah… You see, Scott should be your first beta, but he doesn’t trust you and that’s because of his father.  
\- His father? - Derek was evidently confused.  
\- He had done something to Scott and his mother. They divorced, but Scott still hates him. Now, what it has to do with you. You are the only adult male that tells him what to do…  
\- I’m not… - he was agitated.  
\- Hear me out - I raised a finger at him - Deaton doesn’t count. And yes, you tell him what to do, because you’re the alpha…  
\- Who he doesn’t listen to… - I smirked at that.  
\- Do you want him to listen to you? - I was twisting his arm. He felt silent and I had my answer - Then my dear, you have to change, because how it is right now? It won’t do. The way you are treating him, giving orders, not explaining anything… He’s imprinting his father on you and that’s why he’s so rebellious, so angry at you - I almost poked him in the chest - He’s a growing teenager, Derek. He’s struggling with it and with all the “werewolf stuff”. The lack of the male parent is evident. He needs someone to guide him - I looked him in the eye - And that’s where you - I pointed a finger at him - should step up. But not as the father figure, no Gods forbid - I shook my head - but as an older brother. An older brother, with whom he can get drunk and know that nothing bad will happen, because this big brother got his back. And yes, I know, you can’t get drunk. It was a metaphor - I said, as I saw his scowl - If you want him to trust you, you have to trust him too - I was moving closer to him, very slowly and tentatively, but with caution. Just like you would approach a wounded wild animal, who he in fact was - Do you… - I was treading on thin ice here, I knew that - remember how it was to be a teenager? - he shoot me a glare and I could feel his anger rising, but I just stood there by his side, waiting for his answer, emitting as much soothing feelings as I could. I don’t know how much time passed till he finally said:  
\- Stupid… I… I was stupid - his voice was quiet, but without anger.  
\- Well yes, you can use this adjective to describe a teenager - I smiled warmly - But stupid can also describe a 7-years of self punishment for something you didn’t do... - I said seriously.

If then Derek contained his anger, now its flames arose anew. His eyes became red, he started growling and I was sure he’s going to wolf out. But I wasn’t going to shift. If I did it, it might encourage him and we would surely end up in a fight. And I didn’t want that tonight. Tonight was for talking, not fighting.  
The moment I felt him changing, I grabbed his forearm as tight as I could. My long nails digging into his skin. They could leave a scar on a human, but now they were no treat for him. They could only bring him a little pain. A pain, I was hoping could bring him back…  
\- Derek… - I whispered.  
He tried to jerk away his hand from my grip, but he couldn’t. I must have used my werecat powers without changing, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to keep him in place. He started to feel frustrated. We struggled with each other.  
\- Derek no, stop - I was still whispering and we were still struggling.  
It felt like disciplining a naughty but frustrated child. If he was a child, I would have cradled him in my arms till he calmed down. But this is Derek we’re talking about. He’s more than 20cm higher than me and… and heavier than me, and packed with all those muscles and he is a fucking werewolf! I am not able to physically overpower him as a human, but mentally… I can make him stop with words. It started with them and will end with them.  
\- Derek stop! Do you think Laura would want to see you like this? - I wasn’t whispering anymore. My voice was strong and clear. It had to get through to him - Do you think she wanted you to punish yourself for all those years? - I could feel his resistance decrease - No Derek, she didn’t want this for you. She was your sister and all that she wanted for you was to be happy… - I wanted to stroke his cheek, but then Derek drooped to his knees and howled. I, must say, was shocked.

The howl was… It was amazing. But not in a positive way. It contained all of Derek’s feelings. His rage, hurt, betrayal, remorse, grief, sadness, loneliness, torment, inability, frustration… all of this. All of those feelings he was keeping bottled inside him was now out. I was overwhelmed. I was standing beside him and must looked stupid, because my eyes were as big as plates and my mouth ajar. But I didn’t care, and so did Derek. I did what I wanted to do: I slipped my fingers in his hair and pulled his head, so his face was buried in my clothes, nose nudging my belly.  
He was trembling. He was weak. It’s good we were alone, so no one could see him like this. The alpha having a meltdown… I started stroking his thick and silky hair, while my other hand ran circles on his back to sooth him. In the end, I was cradling him in my arms just like I wanted. If he just let me, I would shelter him from everything bad. I didn’t want him to suffer anymore. I wanted him to be happy…  
My feelings surprised me. I never was so determined to do such thing. Yes, I cared about my parents and close friends, but never openly showed it. This was different though. I was ready to make declarations, which was stupid. I don’t make declarations. 

After couple of minutes, I gathered my thoughts and started talking again in a quiet and steady voice:  
\- So, as I was saying… It would be good, if you started treating Scott as a younger brother and… and the rest of the kids like your friends - I felt him tense - Derek, c’mon, I’m not telling you to share your deepest desires with them - I hoped he recognized sarcasm here - I’m telling you to know them better. Spend some time with them doing normal things, like going to the cinema or bowling. Because though I don’t have a pack on my own, I’m pretty sure it will strengthen your bond with them and in the end it will strengthen you. You’re going through a pack crisis and need all the help you can get to make it better. So please, listen to someone at least once - I said with force - Because I want to help you. And don’t worry, I have no ulterior motives.

It seemed like my words were sinking into his head. After awhile he rose from the ground and motioned towards the house.  
\- I’ll walk you - he said quietly, but didn’t met my eyes. I felt his embarrassment and tried to show him with my emotions, that it’s ok, that I don’t care. We walked in silence.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very, very sorry for updating so late. If anyone is waiting for next chapters, it might take some time me to post them, because I'm quite occupied at work and don't have time to write. But I'm definitely going to write next chapters and finally link them with season 3. And I have some ideas on my own to add them to the main plot ;] Sooo, hope you enjoy and wait patiently for next chapters :)

I woke up at 1pm. It was dark in my room, because the curtains were closely shut. It was Saturday. Finally. I thought that week would never end. Saturday meant no work, no students, no people I had to encounter… And then I remembered. I had a meeting to attend to. With very cryptic veterinarian, ever-scowling Alpha, hyperactive kid and ever-appropriate girl. I growled and pressed my face deeper into my favorite pillow.

I forced myself up, to open the curtains and get some light into my room. The sun was shining brightly and made falling snowflakes flicker. It was beautiful. And so peaceful. Like the weather didn’t know what has been happening in the woods and the city. Like there were no werewolves, no Kanima and no personal dramas…

I sank into my bed and covered myself tightly with comforter, like it could shield me from everything. I didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to sleep away all of that. It was very weird how me and my mother dealt with problems: we just slept them away. When we wake up, we have the solution for the problem or have fresh mind to think the problem trough. Well, I didn’t have the solution. I just wanted to sleep and relax. 

I was stressed because of last two weeks and this wasn’t promising for anyone in my surroundings. Because when I was stressed, I became the worst bitch from the deepest circles of hell. People say that’s the way a woman behaves when she’s having a period. But little did they know, that’s not me. I’m completely opposite. The only time I’m meek, is when I have my period. It’s because of the pain that is so fucking hard to stand, that I just want to curl up and wait for it to end. 

So back to being stressed. If you haven’t caught why I was so stressed, let me explain it to you. First, it’s my work. In about six months I’m finishing my PhD studies and I have completely no idea what I will be doing next. I don’t know, if I get a job at the university or what. This is the great unknown. Then, connected to my work are students. Students, who are usually too lazy to pay attention to what I’m saying to them during my classes or too stupid to at least cheat properly at my tests. They are insolent and disrespectful and I can’t stand the way they carry themselves. Someone once told me, that it might be a sing I’m getting old. Maybe it is, but I always had very conservative opinion on raising children. 

Second, people in general. I don’t like meeting new people or being in a crowded places. People irritate me. The way they act or lie. I don’t trust them. I have a very small circle of friends and that is enough for me. I know them for years and know what to expect from them. It is very hard to become friends with me, but when you finally manage to get through my defenses, you’ll know it was worth the effort.  
So having met this bunch of kids and some adults was too much for me. The fact that they were teenagers wasn’t helping. Their ridiculous problems about their love life, fitting into the right clique at school or not having a flawless skin weren’t on my list of things to listen to. I was very, very glad that I’m past that time in my life. Although, I never had problems like those above. I simply didn’t care about them. 

Third, the “werewolf stuff”. Can you fucking imagine werewolves exists?! What the hell?!? This was un-fucking-believable!! If I hadn’t experienced it on my own skin, I would never believed it. But it was fucking true and now part of my life. And how it became part of my life? I was just walking in the woods. That’s it. Mental note for me: never walk in the woods again. The worst thing about this “werewolf stuff” was… I don’t know what. Was it the Alpha Pack? The missing kids? The obvious magic involvement? The dysfunctional pack? The ever-angry Alpha? Or… or maybe something completely else. Oh, you could get a headache just thinking about it!

Forth, me being also a supernatural creature. WTF!? How?! How the fuck was it possible?? As far as I knew, my parents were humans. Have it run in the family, but no one was aware of that? Or maybe they knew about that, but no one was talking about it? Because unlike werewolves, you couldn’t be bitten to become a werecat. That is why we are so rare. Because it’s genetic. And if it was genetic, it has to be on maternal side of my family, because all the women there were strong and independent. Unfortunately most of that side of the family was dead… I hoped it wasn’t any indicator. 

Stiles once asked me how I change… Well, it’s not easy. It’s not easy to summon all negative feelings and memories you have. The ones that you try to shove down deep into your subconscious and never again let them emerge. But you do it. You do let them emerge. And you let them fuel you until you are made only of anger and pain. Until you are on the edge. And there, on that edge, you make a decision: whether you enslave them and dominate over them or do you let them enslave you and push you into the abyss. 

Derek was surprised I learned control so fast… Seriously, I didn’t have to learn control, because that’s something I learned a long time ago. The thing I had to learn was how to recognize the feeling I had to control. Because that was not the normally felt anger or pain, it was something more complicated, something more personal, something like another me inside me. Something more primal, aggressive and without inhibitors. Something that can only be called as my Feline. Every time I was connecting with her, with them in fact, I could understand more about them and about myself. That’s why I accepted them so quickly. They were me, why wouldn’t I accept myself? I wasn’t a teenager anymore and those identity crises were past me long time ago. I accept myself exactly the way I am, and if anybody doesn’t like that, that’s his problem, not mine. 

And that’s how we got to the fifth. The fifth is my problem with men. Yes, I realized I had problem with men. And what is more surprising, I know why I have this problem. It is because of my character. My character is not easy, I am aware of that, but that’s who I am. From unnoticeable grey mouse I was in high school, I changed into an independent woman, who knows what she wants. Is that bad? Precisely, I changed using my not-easy character traits. And men don’t like them. They don’t like that I’m independent, pride, honest, assertive, responsible, critic, mean, sarcastic, easy-angered, irritable. They don’t approve that I don’t: cook, wear high heels, hate: chores and those elegant jackets, usually: swear a lot and have black sense of humor. But most and foremost: I. Am. Independent. No one will tell me what to do. There are people, whose opinion I will consider, like my parents, but I will definitely not be told by a man. No, and NO. I will not be submissive. And men sure like submissive women. They need to feel this power over a woman, because that’s how it was since the beginning of the mankind. The man was always first, and then, after him was a woman. Oh my god! How do I hate it! Yes, you can call me a feminist, but a healthy one. I’m not saying men should go into labor, but should help women during pregnancy and after, rising the child. Because hellooo, it takes two sides to make a child, and most men forgot about that…

I opened my eye and checked the time. It was 3pm. Whaaat?! I must have fallen asleep during my thinking. Not good, not good. I jumped out of bed, turned on my laptop to play some powering music and ran to the bathroom. As I got back, Oscar (my roommates’ dog) was lying unceremoniously in my bed. I rolled my eyes, scratched him behind his ear and played remixes of Nine Inch Nails. Oh, I was falling in love with NIN… 

 

I was late, and driving like crazy. Late because I had to eat breakfast. And having 30 minutes to do all the things you do in the morning is definitely not enough. Driving like crazy, because 15 minutes to get to the clinic and park your car is also not enough in this city. So it was around 4pm. when I stormed into the reception and then to the exam room. My boots were leaving wet track of melting snow, coat and scarf in total disarray and my hair everywhere. All of them looked at me: Derek, Isaac, Scott, Stiles, Deaton, Lydia and Jackson. I squinted at them. There was too many of them. Then I realized, I should say something.

\- Sorry. I overslept - I took off my coat.  
\- It’s four - Stiles pointed out.  
\- I’m a cat - I grinned.  
\- How did you… - Isaac, as always quite observant.  
\- Mountain Ash? - I figured - It doesn’t affect me.  
\- And what does affect you?  
\- You don’t want to know… - I grinned, ‘coz couldn’t stop myself.  
\- I was suggesting Stiles, that he should learn concentration… - Deaton spoke.  
\- Oh, that’s good - I nodded.  
\- With you - he raised his eyebrows. I believe, I made a stupid face, because that dumbfounded me.  
\- I… - I couldn’t find words for a second - Why do you think he should learn that with me?  
\- Do you see here more appropriate candidates? - well he had a point, but me? Me? - He needs someone composed and serious. And patient, like you - I almost felt praised.  
\- She, patient? - Jackson snorted. I growled.  
\- She is - Deaton assured. I took a deep inhale, looked at Stiles, who was also disoriented like me and exhaled.  
\- Ok - I finally said - but we have to do our best - I looked at Stiles again - You understand that? No fooling around - I was very serious.  
\- Yeah… - he scratched his head nervously - I mean, if he’s going to teach me runes…  
\- Wait! What? - I shouted. And I shout very loud and unpleasantly. They scowled - What. The. Fuck. Deaton?! Are you seriously thinking about teaching him how to use runes??  
\- Yes - he answered calmly - Is there something wrong with that? - I snorted.  
\- Something wrong? This is no child’s play. Are you sure he can handle this? - I was skeptic, sorry Stiles.  
\- It seems like you don’t have faith in him… - Deaton said.  
\- It’s not that I don’t have faith in him, it’s that I think he doesn’t have faith in himself - I explained.  
\- Nice… - disappointment was rolling off of Stiles - You know, not everyone is were-something and have super abilities. Why can’t I learn runes? - he was angry now. I felt bad for making him angry, but he didn’t understand…  
\- Stiles… - I moved closer to him - It’s not that… To me… you are like a younger brother I never had - I said quietly - I care about you and I don’t want anything bad happen to you… - his eyes became huge, his mouth slightly open, just like I liked it - And runes… Runes could be dangerous…  
\- That is why you should teach him the basics - Deaton reasoned with me.  
\- Help me learn. Please, Agnes… - he was making the puppy eyes and fuck it, I couldn’t resist them - You said, we have to learn how to protect ourselves and the ones we care about, so let me do it - oh, he was throwing my own words at me now, little bastard… I huffed.  
\- Ok. I’ll do it - Stiles almost jumped in happiness - but if we’re talking about runes, we have to do more than just “our best”, got it Stiles? - I said decisively.  
\- Yes - he was determined. This was not the start of the year I was looking forward…  
\- And what about Lydia? - just hit me with everything you got and get over with it already.  
\- I gave her some books to read - oh for fuck’s sake! Could he just for once stop being so cryptic?!  
\- Like? Could you be more specific with your statements? Or is it a punishment for me being late? - I was getting aggravated. And it wasn’t good thing to come. Everyone except Derek smirked.  
\- Herbs, potions. I was told that one of things Lydia is very good at is chemistry, and brewing potions is about mixing right substances together. So I thought this should be appropriate for her - he was very pleased saying that.  
\- Alchemy… - was my first thought.  
\- That’s magic, Agnes - Stiles cut in.  
\- No, Stiles. Alchemy is knowledge. It’s 90% knowledge, including chemistry and 10% magic. And Lydia’s got that 10%.  
\- Why do you…  
\- What about… - I didn’t let Stiles finish his sentence, but was not quite sure how to ask next question - her other abilities? - everyone looked at me suspiciously - I’m talking about the fact that Peter used her to come back from the dead. Was she prone to his manipulations because of the bite? Or because of something else? - it was bugging me for a while now and I had to know the answer.  
\- You are very meticulous - Deaton smiled.  
\- Yeah, well… It will be the death of me someday, but there are things I just have to know.  
\- But unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to your question - he smiled sadly. I scowled.  
\- That’s not the answer I was expecting…  
\- I don’t have all the answers Agnes. I just point the directions.  
\- Which in this case are?  
\- Herbs and potions - he answered patiently. And that seemed to end the discussion. Well, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted more. But knew, that now I won’t get anything more. And then, something popped into my mind:  
\- Is there any way to boost our already enhanced sense of smell? - Deaton looked at me suspiciously.  
\- What for?  
\- I… We were looking for Alphas one day and I lost track of them. I was wondering, if you know something that might help?  
\- If alphas doesn’t want you to find them, you won’t. Even using boosts - I was getting tired. And this conversation led nowhere.  
\- Ok - I said resigned. And looked at them. Deaton was explaining Scott what to do with the animals under his care. Stiles was visibly bored and started playing on his phone. Lydia was flipping through the books Deaton gave her. Jackson inspecting his nails, leaning against the wall. Isaac was bored too, but was listening to Deaton instructions. Derek approached me. Quite close. It was weird. He leaned and whispered to my ear:  
\- About what you said yesterday… - his voice was husky, he smelled like man&forest and he was warm… I caught myself on wanting to bury myself in him… I was tired. Very tired.  
\- I said a lot of things - I looked into his eyes, the green forest, I wanted to be in it.  
\- Bowling.  
\- What with it? - I raised my eyebrow at him and he raised his two. Then, understanding came to me - Oh, you want me to say about it? - he just nodded - Why won’t you do it yourself? - he growled right into my ear. It vibrated inside my whole body. I growled lowly, but not in anger - Hey, do you know a bowling place open late in the evening? - I said casually.  
\- I happen to know - I was surprised, it was Lydia who answered.  
\- Is it open tomorrow at… - Derek was looking at me questionably. Was he silently asking me when I have time? That was unbelievable…  
\- At six? - I finished his question and looked at Lydia. She measured us and nodded.  
\- Yes, it is. Are you planning to bowl tomorrow? - She asked not looking at us, but I felt her interest and everybody else.  
\- Actually, I was wondering if we all could go? You know, spend some time not planning tactics for upcoming war - I felt Derek tense beside me. I lightly brushed his hand with my fingers and felt him loosing up a little.  
\- Did I hear bowling? - Scott popped in his big head, smiling.  
\- Don’t start it McCall - it was Jackson. I almost forgot he was here - Last time we played, it wasn’t daisies and rainbows for you - he smiled menacingly.  
\- Maybe it’s time for a re-mach - Scott challenged him.  
\- Remember this when you lose: you asked for it - Jackson pointed finger at him. I rolled my eyes.  
\- I just wanted to play, not compete - I complained.  
\- To late - Lydia said cheerfully - So, tomorrow at six, at Prominent - she set up the meeting quickly.  
\- Prominent?  
\- It’s the name of the club, McCall - Jackson rolled his eyes and was leaving with Lydia.  
\- Well, that went smooth… - I summarized. Stiles and Isaac looked at me weirdly.  
\- Man, I’m beat - Scott yawned - but anyone want to grab a burger?  
\- Oh Scotty, you know what I need - Stiles had his arm around Scott’s shoulders - Burger and curly fries - Stiles grinned. Isaac almost whimpered and looked pleasingly at Derek.  
\- Go. Don’t do anything stupid - of course he had to said that second part…

 

Kids were gone and Deaton was closing his clinic for today. As me and Derek were walking towards our cars, I could feel Deaton’s eyes on us. I also could feel contentment and worry coming off of him.

\- You were too embarrassed to propose bowling on your own, weren’t you? - I mocked Derek, but was smiling warmly at him. He just scowled, but wasn’t angry - Yeah, I thought so - I smiled again, because vision of my bed was making me happy. I wasn’t thinking when moved and pecked him on the cheek, his stubble scratching my lips - Till tomorrow Derek.


	9. Chapter 9

Well, the bowling wasn’t such a bad idea, I must say. The kids obviously enjoyed themselves and acted like they forgot for a moment about all that shit that was happening to them. The competition between Scott and Jackson wasn’t envious, but rather encouraging. It was positive and I had a feeling Derek also felt it like just a play between young Betas. Speaking of Derek. He wasn’t bouncing on all four legs from happiness, but I felt he was content. He felt right. It was about frigging time. Peter was Peter. He smirked all the time and made dirty jokes. And I passed the buck. I also joked dirty, very dirty. And with English black humor. O, this was fun. But I had a feeling only for me and Peter, because we understood each other. Derek was rolling his eyes at us and the kids had funny, horror and disgusted expressions on their faces.

As for me and bowling, well… I hate it. I honestly hate it. I tried bowling once and I was done with it. Maybe it was because I haven’t scored for once. Today though, was different. I scored every time. Which was weird for me, but I think it was because of my werecat abilities. 

Somewhere in the middle of our game Stiles sat beside me.  
\- Soo, I was thinking about how we could start our sessions… - I felt his enthusiasm, but also a little of insecurity. I “Mhmm” him, to let him know I was listening - And I went to an enormous amount of websites about ADHD, because it’s the problem, you know, and… Do you know, that guy who described this illness…  
\- Stiles - I haven’t risen my voice at him, but he had to stop babbling. I looked him in the eye and saw there an endless see of energy, which I had to slay. It was a difficult task - Just buy a book about yoga. About the basics and philosophy of it.  
\- Yoga?! - he almost choked on that word - Are you kidding me? I’m not some old dude, who can levitate and say sentences backward!  
\- Hmm, haven’t you just described Master Yoda? - I looked suspiciously at him.  
\- Dude, you totally did - Jackson mocked. I would never thought he watched Star Wars.  
\- So, since you are not a Jedi or any character from Harry Potter… And you are not going to be. You have to buy a book about yoga and read it - I had to point that, because Stiles started fidgeting - Only after that I’m going to teach you anything - I started to get up.  
\- I hate you. I so hate you.  
\- No, you don’t - I said with a smile, because I knew he was lying - Oh, and one more thing. Do not buy an e-book. Buy a paper version - I smiled like Cheshire Cat.

I was getting my bowling ball, when I heard radio playing „Smooth” by Carlos Santana and I couldn’t stop myself. I put down the ball and started to move my hips. I tried to move them in vertical eight, but this song is too sensual, so I started to move my hips like in salsa. I added hands and then it started to look more like tribal. I made body wave with floreo and when percussion got louder I accented it with hip bumps and then made a turn with it. Every beat of the drums was mirrored by my hips and honestly, I think it looked very good and “juicy” as one of the tribal teachers said. When Santana had his guitar solo, I made isolations with my shoulder joints, my hands not really moving. I did some rotations (looking like from ballet), my hair flying in the air. I had flat boots, no heels, so my steps were smooth and quiet - you could only hear music, not me. Oh, maybe a little of me, because I was singing along with Rob Thomas. Have I said, that I loooved this song? When he sang: “You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow, turning you round and round” I made ribcage rotation, which means I made a circle with my breasts, using muscles between my scapula to move them up, and my upper abdominal muscles to move them down. Then I did a move called camel walk and finished it with a torso twist, also known as matrix. When I wasn’t doing any moves from tribal (or my variations of them), I just moved like in salsa, staying in place or moving in a small circle. I ended with some more turns and accents with my hips, breasts, arms and hands. 

When I started to dance, I lost interest in people I was with. There was only music and me. I moved the way I felt and the way I wanted. It was so liberating, so good. When the song ended, I returned from my cloud nine and what I saw and felt was extraordinary. I felt arousal coming from everyone, even Lydia. Scott’s eyes were big in amusement and he had this stupid look on his face. I can’t describe this look, but it’s so Scott-like. Jackson probably realized he was acting like everyone else, then snorted and composed himself. Isaac had the same look, like the one when we met - like he was seeing something for the first time. Peter was all lust. Damn, he needed to get laid. Stiles of course was full of lust too, but there was more in those big brown eyes. It felt like… admiration? Oh Gods, I hoped he wasn’t falling for me… The last person I focused my attention at was Derek. His reaction knocked me off my feet. Mentally. His heart was beating fast and he was desperately trying to slow it down, but it was in vain. His eyes were glued to my face. I wonder, if during my dance they were roaming over my body… Ok, I’ll say it simply: I felt his desire. Lust, I could deal, because it was strictly physical, but desire was about something more. Something I didn’t want to handle right now. Something I couldn’t handle right now. I… No. I’m not going there. I blinked to get out of that maze.

I took the ball, inhaled deeply, cleared my mind, exhaled and put it in motion. My effectiveness was one hundred percent. I looked at the scoring board and smiled.  
\- It looks like we have a match drawn.  
\- What? No way! - Jackson was not content with the final score - We have to keep playing - I raised my brows at him.  
\- If you want… But without me - I started to grab my things - I have work tomorrow. And you have school - I pointed out.  
\- She’s right, go home - Derek surprised me. Lately, I was constantly amazed by him. I looked suspiciously at him - What? I have something on my face? - he was starting to get irritated.  
\- Mhm - I nodded seriously - Your stubble - I smiled to soothe him, but wiggled my eyebrows playfully. That eased him.

I put my coat over long sleeved cotton dress I was wearing, bag on my shoulder, scarf hanging loose from my neck and motioned Stiles and Scott to go home and give me a lift. I said “Hi kids” to the kids and “Hi guys” to the guys. Peter and Derek followed me with their gaze. I heard Peter spoke “Told you so” and Derek’s “Shut up” in response. I didn’t like Peter’s observations, but my curiosity wanted to be filled with what he knew. Badly.

***

Following weeks were blissfully not abounding in any werewolf stuff. The exam session was close and I spent a lot of time grading student’s works, preparing their exams and giving final marks. On the weekends I went to the theater or met with my friends in pubs or went dancing. I haven’t heard from Derek or any of his pack, except for Stiles, who mailed me information about the book, I made him buy. He had chosen good. We set the date and time of our first meeting during a phone call.  
\- Does it have to be so late? My dad will be home then.  
\- I don’t care Stiles. And it’s not like I’m afraid of meeting your dad.  
\- You should.  
\- Really? Because he’s the sheriff? - I mocked him - That doesn’t impress me Stiles - he huffed.  
\- Ok, but don’t say I haven’t warn you - I smirked.  
\- No worries - I assured him - See you tomorrow.  
\- Yeah, bye.

I felt a little bad for not getting in any contact with Derek, but the phone line has two sides, right? If he wanted to contact with me, then he would. And it’s not that I wasn’t wandering around town at night, trying to catch Erica’s, Boyd’s or this Alpha’s scent…

***

I parked my car in front of Stiles’ house. His jeep was in the driveway. The minute I rang the bell, I heard Stiles’ rabbit heartbeat. The sound was music to my ears. Then his fast steps and intoxicating scent. Oh, the boy was eager to get this started. When he opened the door, he stared at me with his big brown eyes. I tilted my head to the left and squinted at him. He was wearing tight black jeans, white t-shirt and ever-present plaid shirt. Then I raised my brow at him.

\- Why do you look like a girl from my class, while you have ten years more? - I smirked, but when realized he complimented me there was a full grin on my face.  
\- Hi to you too, Stiles - I said passing him - And thanks for the compliment - I leaned and whispered from behind him. I didn’t have to look at his face to know it was all red. Content with that, after taking off my boots, I went to his room. I made myself comfortable on his bed, which meant sitting cross-legged (for now) - So, have you read the book? - I made grabby hands, so he would give me said book.  
\- Yeah - Stiles handed me the book and sat in his computer chair. I started going through the book - You haven’t read it? - there was surprise in his voice. I smiled at him.  
\- No, I haven’t. I used to do yoga in high school, then had a long break and started it again four years ago, but I haven’t actually read a book about it.  
\- Wow, you’re into it - his right knee started nervously going up and down. I raised my eyebrow at that.  
\- You nervous? - he snorted.  
\- Nah, of course not - Stiles waved his hand at me and I raised both my brows at that silently saying “stop shitting me, I know you’re lying” - Jesus! You’re like Derek, you know that? - he flailed his hands - Yes, I’m nervous, are you happy? - thinking about that… on one hand yes, but on the other no.  
\- Why are you nervous? - I asked calmly. He looked at me like it was the weirdest question ever asked. I patiently waited for his answer.  
\- I… You know… - he was starting to blush. Oh, sweet boy…  
\- No Stiles, I honestly don’t know - I got up from the bed and went to open the window. Stiles needed fresh air. Well, if you can call it fresh air in this city… - So? - I stood beside him and crossed my arms at my chest, demanding the answer. He took a deep breath and finally said.  
\- It’s you. You make me nervous - that surprised me. As I recall, I was nice to him so far.  
\- How come? I’m trying to be nice to you. Is that a bad thing? - Stiles opened his mouth, then closed them, then again… He looked like a fish taken from the water.  
\- That’s the point! I… Look, the last nice female who was here was my mother, because Lydia doesn’t count… - I felt his sadness and embarrassment.  
\- So… either all the girls that have been here were bad or… you haven’t had any girls here - I said playfully.  
\- What do you think Sherlock? - oh, he started using sarcasm, which meant he was in offence. Realization kicked me in the ass.  
\- You like me Stiles? - I asked warily.  
\- Have you seen yourself in the mirror?! - he finally looked at me and I had to kill the answer “yeah, when I was getting dressed today” - You look like sixteen, you have this blue eyes and those long hair, that shine like golden. You act like an adult, but in the same time you don’t, you move like that cat you say you are and, and…  
\- And what Stiles? - I whispered taken aback by his words.  
\- And you make my panic attacks go away… - well, that was it, I couldn’t help myself. I put my arms around Stiles’ shoulders and hugged him. I gently ran my hand through his buzz cut and kissed the top of his head. He felt relaxed, but I knew if I hold him any longer, he might get aroused. And I didn’t want that. At least not now…  
\- How about we make a deal Stiles? You stop thinking about this things, we finally get to our session and as a reward I’ll dance for you. Hmm? How does it sound? - I let go of him and stepped back to sit on his bed.  
\- You would do that? - there was disbelieve in his voice.  
\- Yes. But only after you concentrate on the session - I said firmly.  
\- Ok, ok - he raised his hands like in surrender - So, how do we start?  
\- For today, you should choose the music - he looked at me stupidly - I don’t like silence, but I think you wouldn’t understand the music I might pick. It should be something that makes you relax - Stiles got up from his chair and went to the shelves on the other side of his room. He rummaged through them and came with a CD. Oh, I liked this boy even more. In the era of MP3’s, he still listened to the CD’s. He put it in his stereo and pressed play. The music was strange at first, it sounded like jazz, but had the 70’s climate. I looked questioningly at Stiles.  
\- It’s… My mom used to listen this… I kinda grew up with it.  
\- Mhm, I understand - I smiled - Sit somewhere… - I looked around his room - Sit by the window. Close it, if it’s cold for you, but not completely. You need fresh air.  
\- Ok… - Stiles sat indian-style.  
\- Lean back against the wall, straight back, shoulders down, your chest open. It’s best to put your palms up on your knees. Do you feel comfortable?  
\- Yeah… I guess - I took him in. He looked fine.  
\- Ok - I pulled sleeves of my sweater up - Have you heard about the yogin breath? - I pulled out my notes from my bag - The one that takes three steps. Differently called the full breath. It’s used to fight fears - I looked at him carefully. He should know this technique because of his panic attacks.  
\- I’ve heard about it. They even wanted me to learn it, but I was too impatient - he smiled guilty.  
\- What is delayed is not lost - I smiled at him - If you want to learn runes, you have to first learn this. I hope it motivates you. 

I started to read to him how he should do the inhales and exhales. Then told him to do it. Yeah, no wonder he never learned this. He was a hopeless case. His inhales were too shallow, he couldn’t hold his breath long enough and he exhaled immediately. I sat in front of him and started breathing with him. He was trying, I knew he was, but it was still no good. I took his hand and put it on my abdomen. Told him to feel my breath. I inhaled deeply and slowly through my nose, let the oxygen fill my lungs. My shoulders rose, my ribcage got bigger and my diaphragm bulged my belly. I told Stiles to observe and remember all of this. I squeezed his hand when the inhale ended, then again when I held my breath to my limits and started to slowly exhale, also through my nose. I repeated it couple of times and then told him to do it on his own. He did better this time.

\- Ok Stiles - I got up and placed myself again on his bed (this time horizontal position) - We have time, so now for about a hour you’re going to practice just breathing, ok? Don’t think about anything else. Just concentrate on this breathing.  
\- Ok… but what are you going to do? - I tapped the book with my fingernail - Oh, yeah, of course. You’re gonna read - I smiled.  
\- Just concentrate on breathing Stiles - I was pleasantly surprised, when he obeyed. I started reading the book. After couple of minutes I stopped - Hey, I’m gonna read you something. Don’t stop breathing and listen. „Yoga means mastery in all areas of external activity…” - I read firmly - “…including sex…” - I smirked at that and knew that it had interested Stiles - “…sexual desire should be sublimated and be converted into spiritual energy that allows meditation and other yoga exercises…”. You hear it? Is should be your mantra: sublimate and convert - he looked at me wide-eyed.

Then I started reading to myself again, but when I found something interesting and worth pointing out, I read it aloud. “Yoga means equanimity. Yoga therapy calms the mind through relaxation of stress stimuli. (…) Practicing yoga was found to be very helpful in dealing with emotional conflicts and neurotic tendencies. Yoga lowers test timidity scores, as well as significantly reduces the total neuroticism, anxiety and hostility. You can also achieve greater emotional balance. It also noted an overall increase in memory” (Yeah, they should teach yoga in high school. It would be good for all those boys fueled by hormones - I had to comment). Stiles looked at me accusingly. (Look at it from this perspective Stiles: after this yoga course with me, you will be a complete different person. You’ll be less stressed, less nervous, more calm and composed, patient, in better physical fitness and less sexually frustrated)(I’m sixteen! I’m supposed to be fueled with hormones! I’m supposed to have sex as many times as rabbits have!). I growled at him. (Do you think every boy and girl in your school is having sex? No, believe me they don’t)(You can’t now that)(Believe me, I can know that). I looked hard at him and he looked at me like a stubborn child. Our starring contest was interrupted by Stiles’ dad parking his car in the driveway. 

\- It’s my dad - Stiles was nervous again.  
\- Yeah, I assumed - the boy got up from the floor - Sit down Stiles - I said with a force. He looked at me wide-eyed, but obeyed - I suppose he’s observant, since he’s the sheriff, but if we play it cool, he won’t notice anything suspicious. Just keep practicing breathing and I’ll do the talking - after heavy steps approaching Stiles’ room, we heard a knock.  
\- Stiles?  
\- Yeah dad, come in - Stiles managed to sound casual.  
\- There’s a car parked… - sheriff stopped in mid-sentence and I felt that he was shocked. I was lying on my belly on Stiles’ bed, my calves in the air, chin on my palms and I was looking at sheriff in interest. I overcame my hatred for the police and got up from the bed.  
\- Hello sheriff - I smiled and held out my hand - I’m Agnes, Stiles’ friend.  
\- John - he shook my hand firmly - Sorry for asking, but Stiles never mentioned a friend like you - he looked suspiciously at me, though I felt only concern coming off of him. I smiled.  
\- I’m a new friend. We met through a mutual friend - I explained, which resulted in John raising his eyebrow.  
\- No no no - Stiles started to interrupt - I don’t think it’s a good idea… - he looked at me meaningfully.  
\- You don’t think knowing doctor Deaton is a good idea? - I asked with fake surprise. He looked at me dumbfounded.  
\- You know Alan? - John asked.  
\- Well yes. He is a veterinarian, isn’t he? - I spread my hands - I consult with him about my cat - I said it like it was an obvious obviousness.  
\- Oh… ok - sheriff felt a little crestfallen - So, the car in front…  
\- Is mine, yes - I smiled - And if you want to check the plates… - now I grinned - it’s not stolen.  
\- Dad! - Stiles probably thought, I sniffed this intention on his father.  
\- It’s ok Stiles - I raised my hand in his direction - Your father is just concerned - I smiled at John to show him I don’t hold any grunge against him - You will find only speeding tickets in my police records.  
\- And what are you doing with my underage son this late at night?  
\- Ok, you know what? - Stiles’ patience reached its limits - That is completely enough dad! - he flailed his hands - I think you just embarrassed me for the next millennium! - oh, the boy had a talent to exaggerate. I had to kill a laugh inside me.  
\- I’m learning him how to properly breathe. It’s an introduction to yoga exercising, which will help him overcome stress and anxiety. It also will benefit in his ability to focus and physical stamina.  
\- Really? - sheriff was full of doubt.  
\- Really - I reached for the book I was reading - This is medically proven. Read this book of you want, but after we’re finished - sheriff seemed more convinced this time - Don’t worry, it’s not any kind of cult. We’re not going to make bloody sacrifices - I said like it would be the stupidest idea ever. He looked at me thoroughly: hair loose, long beige and orange sweater, brown/grey jeans, brown socks. Normal girl. His son’s friend. John sighed.  
\- I think, there’s nothing I can help you here - John was almost in the hall - Just… - he squinted at us and I had to smile, because I felt what he wanted to say.  
\- We’ll behave - I assured him. Stiles was incredibly shocked, but silent.  
\- Yeah - with that sheriff finally closed the door.  
\- Oh my god - Stiles let out his breath and words - Can we just forget about this bizarre conversation with my dad? Or better, kill me now, so I wouldn’t have to worry about this happening again.  
\- Stiles… Your father is just concerned. You don’t have to be embarrassed because of that. In fact, you will find it to be more irritating than embarrassing, when you get older.  
\- There is that possibility? That I’ll stop being embarrassed? - he asked curiously. I smiled.  
\- Yes. When you’re older, it’s usually quite difficult to get embarrassed. Can we go back to our session? We are, like in the middle of it and I don’t want to piss off your dad, staying too long.  
\- Told you! - my answer was a snort and roll of my eyes.  
\- Come here - I said maybe too harsh - The exercises needs to be done in a specific order - I showed him this fragment of the book - You can practice in the morning or evening, morning is better, but since I’m not a morning person, you are going to do it in the evening.  
\- Hey, who is doing the yoga? Me or you? - Stiles started to rebel. I glared at him.  
\- You won’t do any exercise without me - I challenged him.  
\- I won’t? - he unknowingly cached the bait - Watch me - he took the book from my hand and riffled to the pages with actual exercises. He started with the first one. The easiest one. And screwed it, of course. He just had to lean back a little with his back straight and hands above the head. And inhale. But the moment he started to lean, his spine crackled and he did an exhale.  
\- You forgot to breathe - I said with a disapproving look on my face.  
\- I am breathing - he went to the second exercise.  
\- Not the way you should - he leaned forward and tried to put his palms flat on the floor. His head wasn’t anywhere near his knees, and they were bent. I looked at his miserable attempts and screamed in my head: Kali, please take him as a sacrifice and spare me this desecration! - Here, let me help you - I said with false kindness. I put my hands on his back and used force to bent him lower.  
\- Stop! It hurts - he immediately said, but I held him down like that to prove my point.  
\- It will. Because you’re doing it wrong - I growled - That is why I said, you won’t do any exercise without me. Do you understand now?  
\- Yes! Jesus, yes. Agnes, please… - he pleaded. Oh, I must say I really liked when he pleaded…  
\- I’m sorry Stiles, but you are very stubborn - I helped him straighten up - Does it hurt much? - there was real concern in my voice.  
\- No, not anymore - I looked in his eyes. He really was fine.  
\- Your tendons are not stretched. That’s why it hurts. And that’s why you weren’t able to do the exercises - I explained.  
\- But I play lacrosse! We do exercise there, you know - he argued.  
\- But obviously you do more strength training than stretching.  
\- Ok Yoda - he signed - Show me.  
\- I may be small, but definitely not green - I joked and took the position. I heard him say “Yeah, you’re definitely not green” under his breath. I stood straight, my hands loose along my body. Then I moved them up to my chest, like to a prayer and said “om rh ma”. I moved them above my head, stretching all my body. I started an inhale and in the same time leaned back. Nothing cracked in my spine. Then I leaned forward, still stretched out as far as I could. My palms flat on the floor, knees straight, head touching them. I felt very pleasurable pull in my muscles and tendons, which meant they were working. I exhaled deeply and slowly. When I looked at the boy he was wide-eyed. I raised my brow at him - I hope you were watching carefully?  
\- Oh definitely - he had dreamy look on his face. I had to smack him in the head.  
\- Stiles… - I warned him.  
\- Sorry, sorry - he said ashamed - Could you please show me the rest?  
\- No - I crossed my arms at my chest - Unless you do this exercise right - It motivated him somehow. I showed him how to do the rest, like he asked. Gave him some hints and corrected him, when he was doing something wrong. By the time we ended, Stiles was flushed from physical effort, his heart was hammering and breath ragged. This is going to be a real road through hell. For me. And for him. I pulled a face to my thoughts - Ok, we’ll finish for today.  
\- Oh, thank god! I thought we’re never going to stop! - Stiles thrown himself on his bed. His limbs everywhere - Like you would make me to do this even in my sleep - his head shot up from bed - You’re not going to make me exercise in my sleep, are you? - he made puppy eyes. I wanted to burst out laughing.  
\- Hmm - I kept a poker face - Interesting idea.  
\- No, no. God please, no. Don’t do this to me - he was on his knees, though still on the bed, but my mind was producing different images of Stiles… on his knees… pleading… I licked my lips and smiled like he was my prey ready to play with.  
\- Are you referring to me as your God? - I moved to the bed, but kept small distance between us. He was speechless. His big brown eyes blown and full of emotions. We held our gaze for some time. I was surprised he didn’t look away. But when I felt his resolve melting, I smiled and turned away, heading for his computer.  
\- What are you doing? - his voice was faint, like he was afraid to use it. I didn’t answer him, until I found the song I was looking for on YouTube.  
\- I promised you a dance, haven’t I? - I turned to him with questioning look - Don’t you want it Stiles?  
\- No! Fuck. Yes! Yes I want it - he was at word loss, which I never thought is possible for him. 

I smiled and played the song. It was slow and had spanish atmosphere, since it was sang in Spanish. I did a lot of floreos and move called wrap around, because they were from flamenco and fitted here perfectly. I moved around Stiles’ bed, so he wouldn’t became a stone or got a contraction. I could feel not only his eyes on me, but actually all of his attention. I wish, I could make him focus like that on other things. Like subjects at school or when someone was saying something important to him. I haven’t made the dance sensual, because I didn’t want Stiles to got aroused. I just wanted to present him with something pleasing to the eye. I finished with arms undulations and floreo exactly in front of the bed. In opposite to him I wasn’t tired, my heartbeat steady, breath only slightly faster than usual. 

\- Come here - I moved my index finger at him. He obeyed instantly. I grabbed him lightly by the chin - You are going to practice every day for the following week. Breathing and the exercises. In the evenings. And you are going to do it earnestly, yes? - I looked deep into his eyes and he nodded - Because if not… I am going to know that. I will be checking up on you - with that, I turned his face left and gave his cheek a kiss. Then moved away from him, to grab my things and be ready to go home. When Stiles finally got from his maze, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was fidgeting like a small child. I grabbed his hands and steadied him - Stop doing that - I hissed - If you don’t want your dad to suspect anything.  
\- Sorry…  
\- Go to sleep Stiles. Your mind and body are tired - I said with normal voice.  
\- Yeah… - we got downstairs. I was surprised his father was still up.  
\- It was good meeting you sheriff - he even got up and shook my hand - Though, I apologize for staying this long - I smiled a little - But Stiles is a stubborn boy to teach - that earned me a snort from John.  
\- You don’t have to tell me that…  
\- Dad! - Stiles might be sleepy, but he definitely was defending himself. I laughed.  
\- Good night - I said finally and left their house.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter. Ekhm, it took me some time and it was the most difficult chapter to write. There is some lemon, between Agnes and Stiles - if you don't like it, don't read it. It's getting a little dark, because we get to know what Agnes wants or maybe, it is what her Feline wants...

There was a reason why I gave Stiles all week without me. I assumed a week would be enough for me and my ex to meet. I was right. Three days after my first session with Stiles, I met with Michael. We fucked. Oh, I needed it. I always was sexually insatiable, but since I found out I’m a werecat my libido went through the roof. It wasn’t heat. I just wanted to fuck to satisfy my body, not find a mate and produce cubs with him. Gods know, I don’t need any mate. 

Soo, we met and we fucked. I almost forgot why we broke up, but he reminded me that immediately when I opened the front door: So, you called to give me my birthday present? True, his birthday were in less than a week, but of course it wasn’t the reason. I just snorted at his question. 

He was very thin, as always. There were some muscles on him, he played soccer after all, but still. His dark hair, green eyes and stubble was what I liked about him the most. He was younger than me by two years. When I thought about it, I realized that except two first boys in high school, the rest of my boyfriends (well, the official ones) were younger than me. Do I have a kink for younger boys…? I didn’t want to know the answer to that. 

As a bonus to the sex, I got an invitation to Michael’s birthday party. I said I would come and said goodbye to him. You might think I’m a heartless bitch (smirk), but I told you I have very low tolerance to men these days. It was this low tolerance. 

***

I wasn’t as busy at work as I was couple of weeks ago, so I could chill a little. My friend was going to the hospital for an operation, so I was free of worrying I would do something stupid like punch him in the face or kiss him, both in the middle of the hall. I will not see him for at least two months. Everything was quite good. I somehow managed to put my mind at ease… 

I was monitoring Stiles’ progress from safe distance. At first day, I just listened to him. He was trying, but his breathing was still screwed. I sighed and send him a text: Breathing!! Then started my car and returned home. The second day, I observed him outside his window and then wrote him an e-mail pointing things he made wrong and things he finally got right. His feedback said I’m a total creep, just like Derek and that next time I should just get inside.

So the third day I came in (through his window) and sat on the windowsill. Though I was in no danger, I wanted to be sure, I could flee anytime I wanted. Stiles just rolled his eyes and got to exercises. He was doing better, although he still couldn’t put his hands flat on the floor. But I believe, three days is not enough for your tendons to get stretched enough after sixteen years. I praised him after he finished, which earned me a big smile. Yep, it was time to flee. I said quick bye and was gone.

The next day, he wasn’t at home, so I decided to take a ride through the city.  
It was late and the traffic was lazy. I drove the streets, recalled the places I’ve visited, people I’ve met. Nine years in this city… Everything felt so familiar, but at the same time, everything was new. It was because of my were-senses. I saw more things, things I haven’t noticed before. Smelled a lot more scents, which I wasn’t so sure was a good thing, because sometimes this city stank. I also caught some unfamiliar and weird scents, but drove away from them as fast as I could. Tonight I wasn’t in the mood to deal with them.

When I returned to Stiles’ house, it was still empty. I got worried a little and texted him:

To Stiles:  
Have you practiced today?

From Stiles:  
Yes mom lol are you creepin’ outside my window again?

To Stiles:  
No. Birds said, you’re not at home ;>

From Stiles:  
what birds?! Scott doesn’t know anything

I smirked at that, but if he was with Scott it was ok. I could go home.

To Stiles:  
;> bye Stiles

***

The following day Stiles asked me to come in and after debating with myself I said yes, but assured him it was not our next session. I kept an eye on him while he practiced, and read our guidance book about yoga. I restrained myself from any comments or flirtation. I just praised him and pointed his mistakes when necessary. 

The sixth day I went to Stiles, his father was at home. If his police car was any indicator. I drove away and haven’t returned. So, everything seemed to be good. But when everything is good, something has to get screwed, so the universe equilibrium is untouched. The screwing part comes the seventh day…

I knew it was a little late for Stiles’ exercising, but I thought it wasn’t too late. When I drove past his house, I saw no police car - his father was at work. I parked my car in a distance, then walked slowly towards the house. 

I could hear Stiles’ fast heartbeat and ragged breath. I got angry. It was a week and he still didn’t know how to breath properly?! Oh, I’m gonna make him cry for wasting my time… Then other things were released to me. Stiles was moaning and I felt his arousal. Fuck! He was masturbating while I stood there under his window dumbfounded. He started some time ago, but his orgasm haven’t built yet. 

Oh my god, I never thought I would be able to feel things like that. But when Stiles whispered “Agnes”, I definitely felt it between my legs. When I realized what I was doing, I was already in his room, gripping the hand which he used to masturbate.

\- Stop - I ordered him. At first Stiles was so shocked, he was motionless, but then his embarrassment kicked in and he got flushed all over his face. He wanted to scramble to his feet and run away - Don’t move! - I said in harsh words - Don’t fucking move… - then it was a whisper, because I didn’t trust my voice. I started to stroke his wrist and his panic seemed to subside a little.  
\- Agnes, what… - he wasn’t able to finish his sentence, because I covered his mouth with my palm.  
\- Don’t speak… Unless I tell you to. If you disobey Stiles, I’m gonna put your sock into your mouth. I can promise you that. Do you understand? - I looked hard into his blown eyes, they were so dilated. I could see myself in them. My eyes were dark and filled with lust. Stiles nodded in understanding and I moved my hand away - When is your dad coming back?  
\- He… he’s got a night shift, s… so it won’t be till about 4am - his voice was so out of breath. I liked it. I liked it even more, because I knew it was because of me. I started to unbuckle my belt. I felt panic rising in him again.  
\- Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hit you with it - I said calmly, but then added with a grin - at least not today. Give me your wrists - I asked gently. He raised them and I tied them firmly, but not too tight. I didn’t want to cause him pain. Then I moved his arms above his head and used my belt to immobilize them, somehow tying it to the bed frame - Try it - I motioned at his bonds and thankfully, he understood what I meant. When he stopped and realized there is no way he can get away from me, I felt a peak of excitement in him. I smiled at that - Good - I started to pull up his t-shirt, which was already quite high, like Stiles was playing with his nipples. The thought made me shiver. The tee had to be taken off, but I didn’t want to rip it. I put it off by Stiles’ head and left it tangled with his wrists. Then I peeled off his boxers. 

I took a step back and admired the view. Stiles was slender. Tall and lean, but he had muscles. It was a pity he hid them under those plaid shirts. His shoulders started to get broad, which meant he might become a man soon, but with his adorable face it might take him some more years to get there. His skin was pale, dotted with moles. Oh, this moles were, like trademark for Stiles. His body hair was fine as for boy his age. His happy trail was gorgeous and his pubic hair curled sweetly. 

He was still breathing heavy, though his heart wasn’t rabbit’s. And he stayed silent. He obeyed. I was going to reward him for that. Maybe I watched too much porn (yes, I watch porn, sue me), but having this naked boy stretched before me was incredible. I felt so powerful. I had all the power in the world and the boy was going to soon know exactly what it meant. Or maybe it was because my Feline looked at him like he was my prey. My sweet little prey, that I captured and could do anything I wanted.  
I ran my fingers along his body. His calf, tight, hip, ribs, chest and arm. His eyes observing me all the time. The moment I touched him, he sucked a breath. I felt his muscles tensed under my touch.

\- My sweet boy - I couldn’t stop myself, I had to say it. In response he whined. It brought another shiver in me. 

Still fully clothed, I climbed his bed and straddled his belly. His muscles contracted and I could see almost every rib. The friction of my trousers must gave him a nice feeling. He was biting his lower lip, like he was restraining himself from making a noise. I moved like I was riding him, to check if I would break him. He just bit harder and shut his eyes tightly. 

\- Stiles - I said, gently cupping his face in my palm. His eyes were immediately open - I don’t want you to talk, but you are free to make those sweet noises of yours - there was surprise in him.  
\- Can… can I ask something? - he pleaded and I couldn’t say no.  
\- Mmm… - was all I said as I started to take off my cardigan.  
\- What are you doing? - I laughed at that. But then I felt his embarrassment. He's got me wrong, so I decided to fix it. I started with kissing the tip of his nose, his cheek, first left, then right. His pink lips were slightly parted and I licked his bottom lip. He moaned lightly.  
\- Stick out your tongue Stiles.  
\- But… - he started protesting.  
\- Do it - I said threateningly and he obeyed in an instant. 

I licked it carefully and showed him that I wasn’t going to kiss him. At least not yet. I put my palms on his arms and sucked his tongue. Oh, it was so slick and nice. I swirled my tongue around the tip of his. He definitely liked it. When I pulled back, I saw how red his face was. I smiled at that. The color was spreading to his neck and chest. Then I licked his earlobe and bit it lightly.

\- Isn’t it obvious what I am going to do with you Stiles? - my breath was ghosting his skin.  
\- I… - he started talking, but remembered I forbade him to. But it was too late, he disobeyed me.  
\- I told you not to talk Stiles - I said in an irritated voice and would tug at his hair, if they were any longer - You need to grow your hair, so I could tug at them - I verbalized my thoughts - But that is not the matter now - I put my palm on his throat and squeezed it a bit - Now I have to punish you, because you disobeyed me - I said in a steady voice, looking in his startled eyes. His heartbeat speeding - How should I punish you… - my face was millimeters from his. 

I could see droplets of sweat on his forehead. Stiles was biting his lower lip, preventing himself from talking. He finally understood, that I wasn’t expecting his answer. I turned my eyes turquoise and felt his arousal peaked. I grinned. I knew the answer. I squeezed his throat again, this time harder, but only for couple of seconds, then let go. I moved my palms on his pecs and without warning, I dragged my human nails top to bottom of his chest. His scream was music to my ears. It was rather from surprise than pain. The view of his upper body was breathtaking. He was sweating, panting and red. His eyes big, mouth open. His chest with ten, bright red lines. 

\- This will do for the first time - I smiled and moved to get off of him. I felt his disappointment - Oh, no. I’m not done with you Stiles - I grinned and glanced at his penis. He was still hard. Good. I plan to make it rock hard. 

I took off my boots, then trousers. When Stiles saw my black cotton panties his heart skipped. I smiled at that. Then I found one of his shoes and took the lace. He looked at me puzzled.

\- Well, I want to have fun too. And since you started earlier than me, we have to do something about that… - I looked at him closely. He was nervous, but not scared - Be a good boy Stiles and open your legs for me - I said nicely but firmly. He gulped, but slowly opened them. I sat between his legs - Good boy - I praised him - You see what comes from listening to me? - I ran my hands up and down his tights and smiled at him. 

I petted him some more and then moved to his penis. He whined when I wrapped my hand around him. The second was firmly placed on his hip, keeping him from moving. It took only couple strokes to make him as hard as I wanted. Then, I took the shoelace and tied it at the base of his shaft and testicles. When I did the final knot, he whimpered.

\- Shh… - I petted his abdomen - This will prevent you from coming too soon.

I knew he was in pain (of course bearable amount of it), so I needed to distract him. I took off my panties and crawled to meet his lips. This time I intended to kiss him. I licked his lower lip and tugged at it. It earned me a moan from Stiles. I hate those chastity kisses, so I went straight to business. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and met his. It took him some time to properly kiss, but when he finally got it, he became very greedy. I broke the kiss and heard him whine. But he was happy. I smiled at that.

\- Do you feel any pain down there? - I meant his penis - Answer me Stiles.  
\- No… - he seemed surprised by that.  
\- Good. I’m going to ride you now - he was shocked, like he wouldn’t believe this was actually happening - But you are not allowed to come, not until I say so. Do you understand? - I said in a very strong voice. He nodded.

I went south, grabbed his penis in my hand and slid him into me. Stiles made a sound. Mix of a moan and whimper. A loud one. I smiled at that, though he couldn’t see, because his eyes were closed. I started to move, slowly. At first Stiles panted, but then his moans made me more aroused and wet. My hands roamed all over his body, touching, scratching, admiring him in my own way. 

I started touching myself then. I fondled my breasts and touched my clit. While I was playing with myself, I quickened the pace. My orgasm was starting to build. I pinched Stiles’ nipples and his eyes flew open. When he noticed I was smiling, he shyly returned it. I leaned and kissed him deeply and very greedily. The change of angle made me moan into his mouth. When we finally broke the kiss, I leaned more and panting, said to him.

\- Move your hips.

Stiles obeyed instantly and brought me more pleasure. I bit into the flesh of his neck and arm to muffle my moans. He understood, I was having a very good time and it pleased him. He moved his hips more eagerly to please me better, but I knew I had to slow him down, so he wouldn't come too soon. I changed the position. Straightening myself up, I threw my hair in the air in a rapid movement, which got me a gasp from Stiles beneath me. I was in full control again. 

I placed my palms on his pecs, moved faster and clenched my inner muscles (I heard Stiles mumble Oh my God!). I grinned. I was close. My moves became erratic and all of my muscles tensed. When my orgasm hit, I exploded clenching my fingers and digging them in Stiles’ flesh. I exploded with pure pleasure and bliss. And a moan that was more animal than human. I rode Stiles some more, still trembling, still clenching my inner muscles and still orgasming.  
It took some time for me to calm down. I let Stiles’ shaft slip out and then teased him a little with my vagina. He hasn’t come yet. I haven’t allowed him that yet. 

I sat beside him on the bed and took him in my left hand, stroking slowly. My right hand was petting his still reddened chest. I hoped my marks will fade quickly from his skin. Stiles was moaning sweetly, his eyes closed and mouth open. He was so slippery from my juices, my hand was sliding up and down with ease. His orgasm was building, but I wanted to tease him more.

\- Do you want to come Stiles? - my voice was low - You can tell me how much you want it - his eyes opened. He licked his lower lip and felt unsure. I raised my brow in anticipation.  
\- Yes… I want to come… badly - he said out of breath. I smirked at that. Well, he was quite obedient, so I can finally give him what he wants… or not.  
\- Beg for it - I said as I loosened my grip on his penis.  
\- No, no, no. C’mon Agnes, please let me come… PLEASE - if I said he was out of breath before, now he was… He was more than out of breath. My eyes turned turquoise again and I became wet. His pleadings fueled my lust. I tightened my grip on him and added a twist of my wrist - Oh God, yes, yes… - I slapped his inner thigh and his hips jerked up. I immediately stopped everything.  
\- Who told you, you can move your hips? - I asked angered. His eyes were horrified.  
\- I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Agnes. I… It won’t happen again, I swear! - Stiles started to fight against his restraints, like he wanted to flail his hands. I smacked his penis. Hard. It got me his attention.  
\- Stop. I am going to stroke you until you come and you won’t move a muscle. Because if not, I am going to leave you exactly as you are now. You understand? - just a nod - Good - I gripped him and started again. I moved my thumb over the top of his penis couple of times, which earned me loud moans. Very slutty ones - That’s it Stiles. Show me how much you want this. Show me how much you need this - as I was talking to him, I undid the knots of his shoelace. 

I could feel his orgasm near the corner. I let him have it. He moaned very unmanly and his whole body shuddered. His come flew in the air, which made me chuckle, but fortunately Stiles was too busy reliving his orgasm to notice that. I stroked him through, while he made those sweet little noises of him.  
When he was recovering, I wiped my hand on his thigh and abs and started putting my clothes on. Stiles was quiet. He was breathing steadily, his eyes closed. He was happy and content. I smiled at that and approached him.

\- Stiles - I whispered, to not to startle him. He opened his eyes and looked at me - still smiling. They were so warm, so trusting… I leaned and kissed him long, sweetly… and so lovingly. 

I broke the kiss, retrieved my belt and after making sure his wrists were ok, I turned to get a grip on myself. I just used an underage to have sex with. And his father is a sheriff. Am I retarded or something?! Or something…

\- You need to take a shower. A long one. And change your bedding and air the room. And it would be good if you haven’t meet with anyone like Scott or Isaac… - I finally turned to him - Are you even listening to me?  
\- Dude! We just had… - I looked at him like he just lost his mind - Sorry for the ‘dude’, but seriously, we just had…  
\- Sex! - I shouted - Yes, I know, can we please move on? - now, he looked at me like it was me, who lost mind. I moved closer to him and took one of his hands in mine - Stiles, we know people who have exceptional sense of smell. For how long do you think Scott will keep his mouth shut, if he finds out about this? - I could almost hear the gears in Stiles’ brain as he started thinking. The answer to my question and repercussions of our action finally came to him and caused sour expression on his face.  
\- Shower, bedding and avoiding… Yeah, I understand… - he said with resignation. All happiness flying away.  
\- Hey - I squeezed his hand - Be careful around your dad too.  
\- Oh, c’mon! Give me a break - I cupped his cheek.  
\- Stiles… - I looked him hard in the eyes - be careful. You’re underage and I am definitely not. It speaks for itself - I raised my brows.  
\- Yeah, but… - I put my thumb on his lips.  
\- Stiles… - this time I groaned in a warning. He zipped. I pulled him for a kiss. The most chaste. And then left.

***

It’s my Feline. This constant feeling of dissatisfaction... They are causing it. This constant buzzing, jingling, itching - call it whatever you want - under my skin... I feel like I’m locked in a cage... Definitely too small for me. There is no room for me, no air... I'm rounding inside this cage restlessly... And I understand now, that I need more than I have... My Feline is demanding more... She... They need more room, more air, more control... They need to control, to dominate...  
And the only way to let go of this jingling is to fight viciously... to strike the final blow... to feel hot blood dripping down my mouth... or... have sex... Hot and intense... Demanding, commanding, dominating... With claws and teeth... To scratch, to bite, to mark...


	11. Chapter 11

His face was between my thighs. His tongue inside me. I was face sitting Stiles and he was bringing me to my orgasm.

\- That’s it Stiles… - I was quite out of breath - move your tongue like that - I ran my fingers through his finally getting longer hair and held his head exactly where I wanted it to be. 

Stiles licked, sucked and nipped at my very intimate places. His lack of experience was made up by his eagerness. I lo… I liked that about him.

***

I tried to leave Stiles alone, but I couldn’t. Not only because my Feline wanted to play with him, but I had to continue our sessions. I couldn’t go to Deaton and tell him I will no longer teach Stiles. First, he might start suspecting something and second, I promised I will teach him. I can’t quit now.

I moved our sessions, so Stiles’ father would be at home when we exercised. It was better that way. We could focus at our task at hand (and I must say, Stiles was making progress) and sheriff felt relieved. Though, it was just an illusion (every time we met for sessions, we were making out. Some kissing, some touching, but no sex).

I signed up for the gym. It was a huge step forward for me. I always hated gym or exercises. Mostly because I wasn’t able to do some of the exercises and it had discouraged me for a long time. I also got tired fast. But not anymore. With those new powers of mine it wasn’t a problem now. Quite the contrary. I had too much energy and I needed to release it somehow.

It’s good I have some friends that are obsessed with going to the gym and staying fit, because thanks to that, I know some things about working out. And I wasn’t surprised at all, when all the guys looked at me weirdly the first time I put my foot at the gym. I just snorted at them and got to work.

There were also box lessons, but I didn’t attend. I just observed. Just like I always did, when I went for capoeira practice. 

***

I felt energized. At one point I worked out so hard, I was landing face down on my bed from exhaustion when I went back home and the next day I could feel all my muscles and tendons. But on the other hand, all this activity made me want to do more. As I said, I felt energized. And I still needed to have sex.

Well, obviously I wasn’t the only one in need. 

\- Agnes, c’mon we did it, like ages ago! - Stiles was sitting on the floor in unidentified position, flailing his hands, while I sat in his computer chair with my arms folded on my chest.  
\- You have exorbitant ability to exaggerate, you know that Stiles? - I frowned at him and he just smiled stupidly. Knock, knock - Come in John - with all the time I was spending in the Stilinski’s house, I was becoming a family friend.  
\- Hi - John waved his hand at us - I heard something about exaggerating?  
\- Your son - I pointed Stiles with my foot - Has talent for it - I was still frowning. It was evident I was angry.  
\- Well, I think he got it from Claudia… - he was scratching the back of his head, exactly the same way Stiles does.  
\- Claudia? - I was confused. Then I felt sorrow from the two Stilinskis.  
\- His mother… - there was a pause - Listen, I got to go, station called - Stiles’ head moved so quickly, I thought his neck snapped - Don’t even think about it Stiles! - John pointed a finger at his son - Can you do something for me Agnes?  
\- I think so… - I said uncertainly. John smiled.  
\- Take care of the kid while I’m out…  
\- Dad?! I’m not eight anymore - Stiles complained and I chuckled.  
\- Because I don’t want to find him wandering around the city or worse, in the woods at night - he lifted his brows at his son.  
\- Oh, c’mon. You said, you got over it… - I put my hand at Stiles’ arm to quiet him.  
\- I will take care of him - I looked John in the eyes and smiled with understanding.  
\- Thank you - he nodded - There’s some money on the counter, you can order a takeout - Stiles’ eyes lit at the thought of food, but then he realized…  
\- Don’t think you are getting out of eating veggies! - he shouted at his father, who just rolled his eyes, said:  
\- I’m leaving - and closed the door.

So, that’s how Stiles’ head ended between my thighs. With his father gone, it took only couple of seconds from Stiles’ wink to me losing control. 

I pinned him to the floor, his hands above his head, and clashed our mouths together. We fought for dominance, but Stiles finally gave in and just opened his mouth more, making room for me to devour him. He was moaning into the kiss, so I think he didn’t mind losing.

I petted his face, then moved my hand to close it on his throat. And squeezed. His heart was pounding in his ribcage. I could hear it clearly, like drums thumping a rhythm. I straddled his hips. He was already hard. I lifted my chin and looked into his eyes. I was challenging him. I was silently asking him, if he has the courage to receive what I’m about to give him. After a long moment of looking into each other eyes he nodded. I got off him and pointed his bed.

\- Take off your t-shirt. Lay down on the bed and get down your pants and underwear to your knees - he obeyed without a word. In the meantime, I took off my jeans and panties - Put your hands under your lower back - I said when he was ready - Remember, you are not allowed to touch me, to speak or to come without my permission, you understand? - I raised my brow, which meant I wanted an answer.  
\- Yes - his voice started to sound husky and was filled with anticipation.   
\- You are unbelievable - I shook my head and sit on his chest. He was confused and frowned. I just smirked - Stiles, you are going to put your mouth and your tongue here… - I pointed at my vagina - And here - my clit - And here - my labia - And you are finally going to make a good use of your mouth… As every man should - I ran my fingers through his hair, my nails scraping his scalp. My eyes were dark from lust, his filled with bewilderment. I lowered myself on him and waited. 

First licks were shy and uncertain. I started to murmur to encourage him. Soon, his petting became better. I helped him with: nip, tug, suck, swirl, harder, more. When he finally got the idea how to do it and how I like it, I was wet. 

I moved back to look at his face. He was red and half of his face was glistening from my juices. I bit my bottom lip, then licked my lips and wiped his face a little. He was happy, he got pleasure from this. I moved so I could kiss him. It is always a little weird to taste yourself on someone’s lips.

\- Now Stiles, you are going to bring me my orgasm. You better try - I shoved his face under me again and waited. He resumed his work from before and soon I was moving my hips - That’s it Stiles… - I was quite out of breath - move your tongue like that - I ran my fingers through his finally getting longer hair and held his head exactly where I wanted it to be. Stiles licked, sucked and nipped at my very intimate place. His lack of experience was made up by his eagerness - My clit, put some pressure on it and don’t you dare stop - I put one hand on his bed frame, the second still holding his head. 

My hips started to move in their own way, apart from me. My inner muscles clenched and I knew I was very close. Some more thrusts and… bam! I tensed and came hard, harder than the last time. My grip on the frame almost broke the wood. I made a small whimper and still rocked my hips, while Stiles still caressed me. The bliss of my orgasm was spreading through my body like honey, warm and sweet. I loved that feeling. 

When I finally opened my eyes, I made room for Stiles and sit on his stomach. He was even more red and of course more wet. I leaned in and started to lick his face. After a while he started to wiggle.

\- It tickles… - he whispered and I growled.  
\- Oh, I will show you what tickles… - I assured him with menacing smirk. He gulped and started to regret opening his mouth in the first place.

I moved to his still hard penis. Today was a day of oral sex. But first - teasing. I tickled the underside of his testicles with only my nails. He tensed, somehow managed not to jerk his hips and mumbled Oh my God under his breath.

\- That tickles, doesn’t it Stiles? - I asked menacingly. He just mumbled Mhm and I smirked - Remember not to come until I tell you to - I said firmly, he gulped and just nodded - Good boy - I petted his thigh.

I licked his member from bottom to top with one move, then swirled my tongue around the tip and sucked a little. Stiles started to fidget and mutter. That was not what I was expecting.

\- What are you doing? - I asked irritated.  
\- I… It’s too much Agnes - his voice was breaking - I don’t think I can hold it anymore - he whispered and I saw tears in his eyes.  
\- You went through life threatening situations and now you tell me a blowjob is too much for you?! - his jaw dropped. I growled - Do I need to slap your little dick till it’s purple with bruises? - to mark my words, I smacked the tip of his penis, which caused him pain. He whimpered, bud said no word - Breathe Stiles, use everything I taught you so far - I looked into his eyes - And do not tell me this is too much. Ever. Again - I burrowed my nails into his skin around his hip bones. Deep. He whimpered again. But it helped. The pain subsided his arousal a little.

I clenched my fingers around the base of his penis and took him in my mouth. I moved up and down. Slowly. When I felt Stiles was really on the edge, I let go. I played with his testicles a little and then stroked him.

\- You can come - I said as I put more pressure into my fist around him. After some seconds, he came with a whimper, shuddering.

 

We lay on Stiles’ bed. He has showered and put on his pajama. I changed the bedding. His hair, still little wet felt weird as I run my fingers through them. My back was against the headboard and Stiles was glued to my side. Our legs tangled. I told him it was a bad idea, but he insisted and said that Scott isn’t gonna burst in and that he’ll shower again in the morning. I let it be. For now.

\- Did you grow your hair, because I once said so? - he was silent, but I felt his embarrassment and had my answer - Stiles, it’s ok. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it - I assured him.  
\- Then, why do you even ask?  
\- And since when do you not talk? - I teased him with a smile - Hmm?  
\- There’s a party… - he said after some time.  
\- What party?  
\- Jackson’s party.  
\- And? - Stiles jerked up and looked at me like I’m an alien.  
\- Oh my God! You don’t know anything?  
\- About? - he squinted at me.  
\- You’re doing this on purpose? Derek told you to do it?  
\- I don’t know what you’re talking about Stiles - now I squinted at him. He huffed.  
\- Jackson’s leaving to London with his dad - I raised my brows at that - Like moving there.  
\- And Derek is ok with that?  
\- It’s not like he has a choice. He can’t go to Mr. Whittemore and say: Hey, your son is in my little league of werewolves here. He can’t change his club just like that - Stiles and his parallels.  
\- And he’s not doing anything?  
\- Well, I wouldn’t call it that way…  
\- What do you mean? - I smelled troubles…  
\- Scott said, he’s beating the living hell out of them…   
\- What?! - this time I jerked up.  
\- Which is good, you know? It’s Jackson… Wait, what?  
\- Explain. Now - I growled dangerously at him.  
\- There’s nothing to explain! Derek trains Jackson and the rest - he shrugged.  
\- Trains?  
\- Yes. Scott said it’s harsh, but they’re managing - I frowned this time.  
\- And this party is a farewell party?  
\- Yeah, something like that. Lydia is throwing it so it will be cool. And it’s for Allison too.  
\- She’s moving too?  
\- I don’t know. I just heard she’s going to France, because she has family there.  
\- So, why are you telling me about this party?  
\- Isn’t it obvious? You should come!  
\- Did anyone told you to tell me to come? - he frowned.  
\- No, but… It doesn’t matter - he made a puppy face.  
\- Stiles… - I grabbed his hand - I won’t come… - he was silent and felt hurt. I didn’t understand why.  
\- Why? - he whispered.  
\- For starters? Mutual dislike between me and Jackson…  
\- Nobody likes him. Maybe except Danny and Mr. Harris…  
\- Who?  
\- Our chem teacher.  
\- Oh… - it was time to really reason with him - Stiles, I won’t go, because it’s obviously a Pack Thing and I am not pack - I looked hard into his eyes.  
\- And you think I am? Or Danny?  
\- Danny is Jackson’s friend, so it would be weird if he wasn’t invited. And yes, I think you are pack, because of what you’ve been through past couple of months. And… - I raised my finger at him, ‘cause he wanted to interrupt me - you know each other, you attend the same classes, you are rather the same age… What do I have in common with you all? I know you, that’s all. It’s not that I don’t want to go there, because I’m afraid they will know about us… - though there shouldn’t be any “us” in the first place - I don’t care about it, I’m not ashamed of it. It’s wrong, yes, but I’m not ashamed. I want you to know this - I cupped his cheek, my gaze softened - I will do a lot for you, but I won’t go there, because I know they don’t want me there. If you want, I will take you to a party. In the city. Just the two of us… - I raised my brows and instead of answering Stiles just hugged me tightly - Oh boy… - I felt like captured by a giant octopus and then I felt it… 

His affection. It was coming off of him in waves and I was drowning in it. My breath and heartbeat quickened. I was getting nervous. This… His feelings disturbed me, made me uneasy…

\- Stiles… - I whispered, but knew he could hear me - you have to stop falling for me - his grip on me tightened - You have to understand I’m not good with men, it always ends bad… And you should find yourself a better fitting girl. More your age, someone who will notice you and appreciate you…  
\- You notice me - he mumbled into my cleavage. I smiled sadly. His head was under my chin, so it was a short distance to kiss his forehead. I took his face in my hands and made him look into my eyes.  
\- Stiles… Please… - I said quietly but with a force. I searched in his eyes. He finally nodded.  
\- Ok… - he said only this, but I knew he will do as much as it will be in his abilities. 

His head returned to lay near my neck. I returned to petting his hair in lazy strokes. His eyes closing as I felt his eyelashes moving on my skin. His nose nuzzling the skin under my ear. His breath ghosting my neck. His warm body wrapped around me, long limbs embracing me. It’s been a long time since someone embraced me or the other way…

I started to purr. Stiles felt so good in my arms. His breathing slowed, he was starting to fall asleep.

\- My own, personal octopus… - I said to lighten the mood. He just snorted and seconds later was deep asleep.

I freed myself from Stiles, kissed him goodbye and went downstairs to wait for his father.

 

It was about a hour later that he came back home. He looked at me puzzled as I sat in an armchair in their living room.

\- I didn’t mean… When I said… - he tried to say, perplexed.  
\- It’s ok - I smiled to reassure him - I don’t mind. Stiles doesn’t like it… well, every teenager doesn’t like it, but he is still just a kid and I too don’t want anything to happen to him - John appreciated it, but at the same time he felt a little disturbed - I’m the only child and my biological clock is ticking… - now he looked weirdly at me - What I’m trying to say, is that I treat Stiles a little like my brother and child because I lack of both. I care about him more than just a friend, but not like a boyfriend - I raised my hands - Gods no - I said firmly - Please, say you understand? - that seemed to convince him, because he nodded. I felt fatigue coming off of him - Tough night?  
\- Yeah… Well, it hasn’t started like that. It was just cat attacking someone - it piqued my interest.  
\- Really? It seems a little silly to call a sheriff to a case like that.  
\- You’re right, but the victim wanted to sue the owner and he is my friend, so he called me.  
\- Oh… But the cat attack? - I made a disbelieved face.  
\- Yeah… Tim said he never acts like that, that it’s the laziest cat on earth and suddenly something like that. Who would have thought?  
\- Yeah… Who would have thought… - cats don’t do that. If they’re lazy, they sleep all day. If they’re aggressive, they hunt. They don’t change their nature. They don’t attack just like that. Unless they must… Something must happened, something that provoked the attack. I was so lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed John yawning - I’m sorry. I should go - He just smiled.  
\- Bye Agnes.  
\- Bye John.


	12. Chapter 12

\- He said I smell like you - I could imagine Stiles biting his lower lip.

\- And what did you say?

\- That we’re spending a lot of time together practicing and it’s normal that I smell like you.

\- And his reaction was?

\- He patted me on the shoulder and said “Oh, ok dude” - well honestly, I wasn’t expecting more from Scott - There’s one more thing…

\- What? - I almost growled. I didn’t like his tone.

\- Derek was there… - I almost dropped my only 4-week old rat - And he was pissed, as always, but that’s nothing. He… he sniffed me and it was gross! I don’t think I’ll ever…

\- Stiles! - sometimes, having conversation with him was still irritating - Did Derek say something?

\- No. After that, he just left. He came just for 15 minutes anyway.

\- And you didn’t got any impression from him?

\- No, he was pissed, I told you already - this meant no good. I put my rat back to her cage. I had to think - A… Are you angry? - he asked hesitantly.

\- No Stiles, I’m not. I’m concerned.

\- What do we do?

\- “We” don’t do anything. You’re doing what you always do and I have to think.

\- Can’t we, like think together?

\- Goodbye Stiles - I hung up.

Well, that complicates things or even finishes them, but if I was honest to myself, I saw it coming. I could always go to Derek and talk. And what? Ask him to be quiet about me and Stiles? I snorted. Like that’s gonna happen. NO. Never.  
Besides, it’s not like Derek has the right to do anything. Thinking more about it, who is more reliable? Me, who is a family friend or Derek, who is fishy at first glance? My biggest concern was and is Scott. If he doesn’t suspect anything, than Derek is no treat. At least it was what I said myself.

 

***

 

Passed week was a blur. Work, students, gym, English lessons and Martin. I haven’t got time to worry about Stiles&me case. You might think who is Martin? Well, that’s the one and only guy I wanted to kiss and punch at the same time. My friend. 

He’s out of hospital and at work, so I got to see him and talk to him every day now. It’s not bad, I must say. We cleared some air between us, but I know it won’t be as it used to be between us ever again. It saddens me, but what can I do? People change. Figuratively and literally. I know something about it.

We’ll try to stay in touch and help each other, if anyone will be in need. I think that our friendship matured somehow. It’s not that wild and stupid as it used to be. We were close friends for 7,5 year. Maybe it’s time for us to go in our own directions. Separately. We’ll see where it leads us.

A phone ring interrupted my thinking. I looked at the screen - Stiles. I frowned.

\- Yes?

\- Hey, are you in your apartment? - his voice was cheerful as a lark. I didn’t know if it’s good or bad.

\- Yes? - I said suspiciously.

\- Oh, then guess who’s at your door? - I could imagine his big grin. I rolled my eyes.

\- No… - I groaned as I looked through my window and saw him standing outside.

\- Yes! Aren’t you happy? Why aren't you happy?

\- Stiles… shut up and get in - I hung up and opened the door - Why are you all dressed up? - I asked as I regarded him carefully in my hall.

\- Is it too much? Shit, I knew I shouldn’t put so much gel, but when I started…

\- You gelled your hair!? - I had to touch them - Are you going on a date and you want to check your look with me before you go? - I joked, but stopped laughing when I felt his nervousness - Stiles…

\- I… Could you… Shit, this sounded much better in my head - he started fidgeting. I knew what has to be done so he would stop. I took his hands in mine and squeezed them.

\- Just say it - I said calmly, because I wanted to get over it.

\- Go out with me. Like now - he finally said, his heart hammering in his ribcage - Please…?

\- Stiles…

\- No Stiles. Listen, I want to go out with you. It has nothing to do with falling for you, I just want to go out - I felt his desperation. Some puzzles started to fit in right places.

\- You have never been to a date, have you?

\- Well not every teenager has to be at master level at it, right?

\- Where is your father?

\- Working.

\- Where is your car?

\- At home, I got here by taxi - that surprised me. I looked at him carefully as we still stood in the hallway of my apartment. I considered all the pros and cons… And finally made a decision.

\- Fuck it - I pulled him to a fierce kiss - You better not regret it later.

 

I took him to a club, where I knew they weren’t checking the ID. It was hot inside, though it wasn’t packed with people. I found nice spot and dragged him there by a hand. Our fingers laced. It felt weird. It was a long time ago, that I laced fingers with someone…

Told Stiles to take of his jacket and took some money from him. At the bar I ordered small beer and Mojito. I brought the drinks to our table. Stiles’ eyes lit at the sight of the alcohol.

\- That’s a maximum of alcohol you’re gonna get tonight - I warned him - I won’t change my mind. I promised your father.  
\- Yeah, about that… Was it necessary?

Heh, Stiles was asking if I had to go to his father after he asked me out. To the police station. After I changed and took what I needed for the club night, we drove (my car) to the police station. I went inside with Stiles, found his father, placed a small card with my cell phone on it and said: I’m taking him dancing. I will be under this number. He’ll be home tomorrow morning. 

John looked at me wide-eyed, Stiles was still in shock and I… I stood there waiting for an answer, although my patience was getting shorter. My hair started to electrify from impatience. Ok, John finally said and we started to head out when he said: Don’t take drugs and don’t drink too much. Stiles frowned, but I just smiled and nodded.

\- You wanted your father to call APB out on you? Again? - I lifted my brow at him as I crushed ice in my drink - Yes, it was necessary. Now drink with me - I lifted my glass and bounced it with Stiles’ bottle.

\- What’s this you’re drinking?

\- Mojito. Ice, lemon, mint, sugar and rum. You want a taste? - he nodded and took a sip.

\- I don’t taste any alcohol.

\- And that’s how I like it.

\- Isn’t it the complete opposite to the idea of drinking? - I rolled my eyes at him.

\- We’ll talk again after your first party in the “after high school era” - I mocked him.

\- If we live till that - he said a little sad.

\- We will. And I will want details - I wiggled my brows at him and smiled. 

I made myself comfortable on the loveseat. Moving closer to Stiles, my front was to his side, my elbow on the back of the sofa. I had easy access to pet his hair (which became my habit, now that I think about it) and in the other hand was my drink.   
I looked at the dance floor for some time, while waiting for the ice in my drink to melt. There were some girls, dancing. I motioned at them.

\- You see anyone interesting? - Stiles just glanced at them.  
\- Please stop. Anyone interesting is sitting beside me - he said shyly looking straight at his beer bottle.

\- Ok… - and after while I added - But that was a good line to get a girl… - he looked at me - Just so you know - I smiled at him and a shy smile crept on his lips too - Come here - I pulled him into a kiss, much slower and sensual than this in my apartment’s hall. When we finally pulled back for air we were breathless - Not falling my ass, hmm? - he wanted to say something, but my finger on his lips stopped him - I was teasing. Now put your hand on my thigh - he obeyed - Stiles, I hope you realize that this is one of the last of our meetings when we even kiss - I said sternly - Just like beginning of the end - he squeezed my thigh in acknowledgment - Good. So let’s finish our drinks and go dancing.

Normal Stiles flailed his arms some, Stiles under influence… a lot. I had to constantly hold his hands, because otherwise they’re smacking other people. Not good. Surprisingly, his footing was ok. I wondered, if that would change if I bought him another beer… But I was not planning on buying him another beer.

So the best place for Stiles’ hands was on my hips, which meant he was close to me. And I hated to dance with guys plastered to me. But obviously, Stiles was an exception. His height meant I could lean on all of his sweet body, my back to his nice chest and as I said before, his hands on my hips. We moved together (after I showed him how), and it felt good. Very good.

A thought appeared in my head: I showed Stiles a lot of new things and he was doing them with me for the first time in his life. It sounded like motherhood. I didn’t know if it’s bad or good. So, I just turned around, Stiles’ hands finding their way to my ass cheeks and cupping them firmly, and kissed him. We both moaned into the kiss, as I tugged at his hair and he squeezed my ass. 

We were making out in the middle of the dance floor. Not that I minded, but we will end up in bed this night, I knew it. We were both constantly horny. That’s why we did what we did. I started to pray to whatever God there was, for this to be heat. Because if it was heat, it meant it will finally end someday. And it has to end. I couldn’t have sex with Stiles endlessly, though I knew he wouldn’t mind. 

 

As I supposed, we didn’t last too long in that club. We returned to my place, especially that Monica and Paul were gone for the weekend.   
I was going to the bathroom first, but had to warn Stiles:

\- Don’t make the shelves fall down, ok?

\- And how do you think I would do that?

\- You are talented, Stiles. Anything can happen - he grinned and I rolled my eyes - And under any circumstances do not put your fingers into my rat’s cage. Because she can bite them off.

\- She’s too small!

\- If you put your fingers there… Stiles, I swear, I will bite them off - I threatened him - And I’m definitely not too small.

\- Ok, ok. I’ll just lie here…

\- And don’t fall asleep, ‘cause your chance will be lost - I said closing the bathroom door.

I returned fully clothed, but after a shower. Stiles frowned at me.

\- Why are you in clothes? I thought that the idea was to get our clothes off - he started to babble. To shut him up I sat straddling his lap. I had all of his attention in an instant. I grinned.

\- Stiles… - I put my arms around his neck - I have a proposition for you - I felt his curiosity. His eyes shining with anticipation. Mix it with his arousal and you get an intoxicating scent. My Feline was restless. I wanted to devour this delicious boy in front of me - I want to fuck you - I whispered to his ear. It caught his breath - If you let me do that tonight, I will let you fuck me later - I bit his earlobe. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was very nervous. After a long pause of silence I started to worry. I looked into his eyes, searching for answer.

\- How did you… - he said finally. Very quiet. And very vulnerable.

\- Know? - I cupped his cheek tenderly. He nodded - I smelled that dildo in your closet - his eyes went wide and a huge wave of embarrassment hit me - Stiles… Baby… - I pulled him close to my chest. My hand automatically went to his hair and started petting him. Other one making soothing circles on his back. He clung to me tightly - It’s ok. It really is - I assured him - This only proves that you will like what I want to do to you - I smiled at him and kissed him sweetly. He seemed a little less uncomfortable. I pulled our foreheads together and waited for him to calm down.

\- You never called me baby before… - he mumbled after some time.

\- I never called anyone like that… Well, maybe except my rat, or cat, or my dog. Animals, in general - I started to explain. Stiles smiled.

\- Yeah, I got it - he looked me in the eyes and then kissed me. As it became more fierce, I remembered why we were here.

\- Stiles… - I broke the kiss - If you want us to do it, you have to take a shower and then return here wearing only your briefs - I looked at him sternly, to make sure he was listening - If you don’t do that, we won’t have sex. You understand?

\- Yeah - his brows were furrowed, but he took the towel I got him and nodded when I said to use the green shower gel.

 

I was sitting on my desk, when Stiles came back wearing only his dark red briefs. I smiled. This color suited him. His eyes went wide at the sight of things that were lying on my bed. A strap-on, bottle of lube, latex gloves and a ball gag. His heart became erratic as he became nervous. I moved to him, took his clothes and placed them on the chair. I squeezed his arm reassuringly.

\- Sit on the bed, Stiles. Your back to the wall - he obeyed, although slowly. He sat indian-style. 

\- No. Open your legs. Wide - he gulped, but did what I ask. I smiled - Good boy - the corners of his mouth turned up a little - Now Stiles, I want you to masturbate in front of me - I said it calmly but firmly. I waited till his shock and nervousness decrease - You will give in to me tonight… And you’ll like it - I was looking straight into his eyes full of hesitation. He was rethinking his decision, I could smell and feel it. But it was too late for him. I won’t let him back down now - Do it - I demanded in an authoritative voice. 

After a while his hand finally slipped past his briefs’ elastic and he started stroking himself. His face was red from embarrassment and his moves were uncertain. My eyes were bored into his. I couldn’t wait to taste this sweet ass of his. I licked my lips in anticipation. That seemed to sparkle his lust. I could almost feel butterflies flying in his stomach and blood filling his penis, making him hard. 

I smiled and started to take my clothes off. Our eyes still on each other. Finally, I was in my underwear. All black, although nothing fancy. But it was enough for Stiles. The sight of me in my undergarment filled him with lust. I smirked. Now we were getting somewhere.

\- Take them off - I said motioning his briefs. He did - Come here - he crawled to me and we kissed. 

Stiles learned some time ago that I didn’t like chaste kisses, so he opened his mouth without me having to let him know to do it. My tongue penetrated his mouth, swirled around his (which earned me a moan from Stiles) and licked at his lips. Oh Gods, I so liked to kiss him.

\- Turn around. I have to prepare you - I said when we stopped kissing. His panic arose again - Stiles, you are aware that if I don’t prepare you it is going to hurt - I reasoned with him - You know it will be pleasurable, you’ve tried it… - this time I teased him in a seductive voice. It worked. He blushed like a girl and turned around. I was welcomed with a sight of his sweet, small and round ass. The moment I put my hands on his ass cheeks, he flinched - Shhh… it’s ok - I said to soothe him. 

I started to make circle motions with my palms on his cheeks, so he could get used to being touched there. He was still nervous from his bashful position, but the pleasure he started to feel was making it up to him. Then I massaged his ass, tights and back. He started relaxing. I leaned and kissed him between his shoulder blades. His heart fluttered. I smiled to that.

\- You like it, Stiles? - I asked and started to plant kisses on his shoulders. My hands roaming all over his body.

\- Y…Yeah - he breathed - Can…can I touch you? Please… You can do whatever you want with me, just let me touch you - he pleaded. 

I thought about it. He just submitted to me and in return he wanted to touch me. I could grant him that. I moved away from him. Not an inch of our bodies touching. I felt disappointment coming off of him. He jumped into conclusions too quickly…

\- You can - I said as I stood behind him. He was still on his hands and knees. He turned his head and looked at me, like he didn’t believe I said yes. I raised my brow at him. And then he was. In front of me, with a goofy smile on his face - Well? You wanted to touch, so touch - I teased.

He hesitantly put his hand on my thigh. It was warm and smooth. I smiled. Then I felt his second hand placed on the other side. He started stroking my thighs, our eyes never leaving each others. When he felt more confident he kissed my belly, just above my panties’ elastic.

It felt weird... Don’t get me wrong. All this attention from Stiles felt good, it was nice. But it’s been couple of years since someone touched me like that. I was used to being touched during sex. But it was just sex. Stiles touched me with affection. Affection I haven’t received in a long time…  
Despite this thoughts in my head, I smiled at Stiles. And when he started to bee-line my belly and stomach with kisses, I laughed a little. I was afraid it might startle him, but it didn’t. 

He moved up. His hands were now on my waist and he started kissing me between my breasts. I purred and closed my eyes. My hand automatically moved to his hair to pet him. He kissed every inch of my cleavage. His kisses were light and delicate, like butterflies sitting on one flower and then moving to another.

When he started kissing my neck, my Feline didn’t like it. They felt vulnerable and threatened. I tugged at his hair gently and pulled him away. He was surprised, but his eyes lit when I told him to unhook my bra. He complied with clumsy hands.   
The view of my bare chest made him gasp. His wide eyes were jumping: left breast, right breast, my eyes and again left, right, eyes. It was comical, but I killed a laugh inside me and just smiled. 

My breasts aren’t big, but their size is ok. What I like the most about them, is that they are so full and firm. And that on my right breast, just above the line of a bra is a big mole. It looks kind of sexy... Not that I show it to everyone, wearing enormous cleavages! But there are some guys who saw it, if you know what I mean…

When Stiles saw the mole, the first thing he did was to kiss it. Then he peppered my whole breasts with kisses. When he kissed the undersides of my breasts… I gasped. Mmm, I love to be kissed there. 

His lips were millimeters from my erect nipples, his breath on that sensitive skin. Stiles looked at me pleadingly.

\- Take it into your mouth - was all I had to say to him and he knew what to do. 

He was very delicate and put a lot of effort to please me. He was watching my responses to his actions and learned from them. One day, he will make a girl happy. 

I felt his hard length against my abdomen and remembered what I wanted. I wanted Stiles to submit to me. 

\- I want to fuck you - I said loudly so he could hear it - Now - I emphasized the time. My voice was full of lust and anticipation.

This time Stiles didn’t panicked. He turned and positioned himself on his hands and knees. His ass waiting for me.

\- Mmm… Good boy - I praised him.

I put on a glove on my right hand and poured some lube on it. The lube was cherry flavored and soon the whole room was filled with this scent. I touched his anus. He flinched.

\- Shh… - I rubbed his cheeks tenderly and put more pressure on his anus, sliding one finger in - Breathe Stiles. You know that. And relax your muscles.

I slowly put my finger in and out of him. It was easy and Stiles felt more intrigued by the sensation than afraid. Then, I added a second finger. It was not so easy. Stiles started to groan and I felt his discomfort. To ease him I started to stroke him, so he could link his ass being penetrated with pleasure. As I started scissoring him I put more effort to stroke his penis. It worked. He started panting and I decided it was time for the third finger. He hissed in pain.

\- Stiles… you’re doing fine. You know the pain will be replaced with pleasure. We just have to get there - I encouraged him - You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?

\- No… - he breathed.

\- Do you want me to stop? - I asked to be sure we’re on the same page.

\- I want to… to get to the pleasure part… - I smiled at that.

\- Me too… - I kissed his lower back and pulled out my fingers. 

I prepared the strap-on. Earlier, I put a plug inside me so every time I thrust into Stiles, I would get actual pleasure from it. I picked up the ball gag.

\- Turn around Stiles - I felt his confusion, but he did what he was told.

\- Oh my God… This is really happening - he said as he saw me.

\- Yes Stiles, this is really happening. Now be a good boy and take it into your mouth - I moved the ball gag closer to his lips - Because I don’t want anybody think I’m killing someone here - his heart started hammering inside his chest again, but his arousal peaked. 

He opened his mouth and I fastened the gag. I looked at him and the view took my breath away. He looked so beautiful with the gag, so hot, so helpless and so on my mercy… A shiver of lust ran through my entire body. I leaned and kissed the corner of his mouth.

\- You have no idea how hot you look like that Stiles… - I let him know that. I don’t know how it was possible, but he became more red - Turn around - I positioned myself behind him.

I wish, I had a mirror there, so I could see how we looked. I could only imagine… And that picture made me hot all over my body. My lust became so unbelievably tremendous… I felt like I had to be inside Stiles, because otherwise I am going to explode.

I spread his ass cheeks and put pressure on his anus. The tip went in. I heard Stiles’ deep breaths as he tried to make it easier for me and him. We were slowly making progress, but I was too desperate to be inside him and forced the last inches in one move. It’s good I put that gag on Stiles, because his cry was muffled by it. Otherwise I would expect police knocking on my door. I felt his pain and tried to soothe it with kisses.

\- I’m sorry, Stiles… I lost it - I had to calm myself with deep breaths too. 

I waited, so he could adjust to everything and be sure he hadn’t snapped his fingers (which worked like a safe word, since he was gagged). 

I didn’t understand why I had to be inside him so desperately… The urge to claim him was overwhelming… I had to make him mine… like my life depended on it…

His groan brought me back to reality. I focused, checked up on him and felt him impatient more than in pain. I couldn’t make him wait more, could I?   
I started to move my hips. Slowly first. The dildo was moving in and out of him with ease. Surprisingly. His muffled groans and moans were making me more horny and I decided, I liked them more with the gag on. 

Feeling pain was not a matter anymore. Stiles now felt weird. And I planned to make him feel good. I touched his still hard member and he flinched and groaned. I hoped he won’t come too soon, because that would spoil all the fun. Especially, when I haven’t used anything on his penis that would prolong his erection. I started stroking him slowly, taking my time. I played with his testicles and the tip of his penis, while steadily thrusting into him. 

It felt incredible, fucking him. He was giving in to me. Completely. The rush of power I had over him… The feeling of dominance… I felt wonderful and ecstatic. I never wanted to let go of that on top position. We… we never wanted to let go. Me and my Feline… We felt in power, we felt good dominating, we very much liked that…

Stiles was positively reacting to all of this. He moaned in pleasure, as he started to feel it. And he even started moving his hips to meet my thrusts. I got an idea…

\- Fuck yourself on it, Stiles… - he looked at me with wide eyes - Yes, you heard me. Do it - I used that authoritative voice of mine.

I stopped thrusting my hips and waited for him to move. He obliged clumsily. I placed my hands on his hips and helped him find the right pace. I always liked the sight of a man fucking himself on a strap-on (only in porn till today), but this… Actually seeing it with my own eyes, feeling it, being a part of it… Amazing. From now on, I wanted to fuck like this. Period. 

I was building my orgasm as Stiles moved more eagerly, but this couldn’t end this fast. There were yet some things I wanted to do to him…

\- Enough - I gripped his hips tightly to stop him. He whined, I smirked - You liked that, didn’t you? - I said to his ear as I leaned. He just nodded - Good - I kissed his cheek - Now, we do something for me… - I put my hand on his neck and forced it down, lying his head on the mattress, at the same time still holding his hips and sticking his ass in the air more - This is going to be rough, Stiles… - I warned him - but I promise you, after that I make you come - I petted his hair - Ok, baby? - He nodded and I kissed his shoulder blade.

I started slowly, with a steady rhythm. But as I became more hot and my orgasm build up, I wanted a release and started pounding into Stiles roughly. He was groaning and I was growling. I was quite sure my eyes turned turquoise. I leaned and bit his shoulder blade. That scared him and he wanted to move up, but my hands stopped him.

\- Down! - I growled at him, but then came to my senses - I won’t hurt you. You just make me that crazy. I’m close, it won’t be long - I assured him and licked that place where I bit him.

I held him firmly, but not too tightly, while I rolled my hips and brought myself to bliss. I shuddered violently as I came. And I groaned. Again, more animal than human. I was motionless for a while as I tried to breathe an think again.  
I slipped out of Stiles and smacked both his ass cheeks. He squeaked and wanted to turn around, but I stopped him. I rubbed his cheeks tenderly and placed a kiss at each of them.

\- Now you can turn - I said calmly. He did, and was still on his hands and knees - I’m sorry I was so rough - I stroked his hair and planted kisses on his face - Are you ok? - he nodded - Good. Now lay on your back and rise your legs. I will put it in and stroke you until you come.

He was getting tired and his movements became slow. He didn’t even flinch when I put the dildo inside him again. I smacked and scratched his inner tights, but was careful not to leave any marks on his body. Although I suspected there will be some in the morning…

This time I was cautious. It was about bringing him his long-awaited orgasm. I thrust into him lightly and steadily, hoping I hit his prostate. I stroked his hard member at the same time. Finally, he started building up and I picked up the pace. He started moaning loudly and tensed his muscles. I tightened my grip on him and put more effort in what I was doing.

\- Come for me, Stiles. C’mon, baby - I said in a sweet voice.

That triggered his release. He arched his back, moaned loud and drawled, and came.  
I stroked him through, while petting his chest. His sperm on his stomach and my fingers. I licked them clean, which caught his eye and made his heart beat fast again. I smiled at that, leaned and unbuckled the gag. He was breathing hard, his saliva dripping down his chin, his face red. Oh, he was so worn out… I felt proud for making him like that.   
I kissed him passionately. He barley keep up. Then, I felt his pain and remembered I still was inside him. I withdrew and took off the strap-on.

\- Don’t move - I said with concern, but I don’t think Stiles was able to move right now. 

I returned with a wet cloth and wiped him. He smiled, little embarrassed. I smiled back at him and wiped myself too. I took care of him and everything. 

 

\- You did good, Stiles - I said as we lied under comforter, ready to get some sleep - Very good - I kissed him tenderly. When we parted he was smiling widely, he was happy. I smiled back, but then it faded a little. He muttered something about stupid underage rules as he buried his head in my cleavage and hugged me like this giant octopus. 

I smiled bitterly at this. Even if Stiles was legal, I don’t think we would be together. He was my… toy. It hurts to say it, but it’s true. I played with him. We played with him. He was our toy, which we very much liked, but it was it. After we got bored with him, we would leave him alone and move on. It was awful, but it was the truth. I didn’t want to hurt this boy. He didn’t deserve it. But it was obvious he will be hurt when this ends…

With those dark thoughts, I drifted into a restless sleep, petting Stiles’ hair and rubbing his back.


	13. Chapter 13

\- I think you should get here, like ASAP. Like use your Floo Powder and get here! - there was panic in Stiles’ voice.

\- What? Where? What’s going on? - I was already putting my shoes on.

\- The Hale house. Derek is losing his shit! - I heard shouts in the background. WTF?!

\- I’m on my way.

  

I was sure my car’s chassis was cursing at me, because I was speeding like hell and the road was bad. I killed the engine and jumped out of my car. The view I saw was…  
Derek was wolfed out and held by Peter and Scott. He snarled and growled at them. There was blood on him. On the ground lied Jackson, all bloodied and blustering. Next to him was Isaac, who wanted to help him, but didn’t know how. Stiles was at the line of the trees. He was scared.

  
\- What happened? - I asked as I approached them with caution.

\- We were sparring for the last time, then Stiles came and Derek just went crazy and beat Jackson down - Scott explained. My eyes went wide as realization hit me.

I focused on all of them. It was not Jackson, not Scott, not Isaac… They knew. Derek and Peter knew. They were born werewolves and were better at this. And Stiles… Stiles smelled like sex and me… Oh, shit.

\- What’s that smell? - I looked at Isaac, shocked. The kid was perceptive. As always.

\- It’s Derek’s mate smelling of another man - Peter spoke - Boy, to be exact - he smiled bitterly.

I didn’t catch the sense of his words, because Derek got free from their grip and charged at Peter, knocking him to the ground. Jesus Christ! He was furious. He meant to kill. Although, most of gathered here didn’t like Peter too much… but still, it wasn’t a good idea to kill him.

I reacted without thinking. It was a reflex. An instinct. I leaped towards them and felt my Feline taking control. I ended on all four and before Derek could do anything I kicked him in the ribs. It sent him flying couple of meters away and he landed on the ground with a sound of bones breaking. I stood between Peter and him and roared at him. I didn’t want to fight him. I just wanted everyone to be safe and him to calm down.

I heard couple of gasps and my ears twitched. I also came to realization that my tail was wagging left to right as it expressed my agitation. I had shifted and it was the firs time anyone except Derek saw my Feline.

\- You reek of him - Derek spilled it like venom as he got up slowly.

\- I reek… Get a grip on yourself for fucks sake! - I roared at him.

\- He can’t… - it was Peter again - He can’t stand someone else having his mate.

I froze. Mate. Mate? Mate!?! My eyes went wide, again.  
I grabbed Peter by his throat. His smirk was gone in an instant.

\- What the fuck are you talking about? - I said very low and it made my voice rumble, my anger expressing with every word.

\- You are his mate - he stated simply. I waited for more, but it was in vain.

\- I am a werecat. How can I be a mate to a werewolf? - I loosened my grip a little, but only a little. I didn’t want any surprises from Peter.

\- I don’t know. However, I do know how someone acts when he’s rejecting his mate and refuses to mate. And that is exactly what he’s doing - Peter looked pointedly at Derek.

I followed his gaze. Derek was still standing were I threw him. He wasn’t wolfed, but his eyes were still red and his claws were drawn. He was breathing heavily and had this murderous aura around him.  
I focused on him and sensed anger, frustration, hurt and… jealousy. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Was Peter right?

\- Is it true? - I released Peter and turned towards Derek. He was silent. Of fucking course. It was Derek Hale - Answer me! - I couldn’t hold it, I was so angered that anything could initiate my fury. I heard quiet whimpers behind my back. I believe I had scared some pups.

\- It’s none of your business - he growled.

\- It’s none of my business?! - he was overdoing it - Are you fucking kidding me?! - I roared again and punched a nearby tree.

Some of the bark fell off. I braced my hand on the tree and released some of my energy by digging my claws in it. If the tree was thinner, it would snap. I took deep breaths and calmed a little. I felt I was shifting back to my human form, but my eyes still suggested I’m not entirely human.

\- Derek… - I looked him in the eyes - as far as I know it takes two to mate, so yes, it is my business. And second. If you had beaten those kids to get your frustration off, then you should fought me - I said firmly - Not them. Do not take your frustration on them. Ever. Again.

There was an unspoken threat in that sentence. It wasn’t only about the fact that we had issues and Derek vented his anger on the kids instead of me. It was also something completely strange for me - I felt protective over those kids. I didn’t want anything bad happen to them, even if it was Jackson.  
I was protective over my parents and close friends. That’s it, I didn’t care about other people getting hurt. But this time it felt more primal, like this protectiveness came from my Feline… I didn’t understand it and it definitely wasn’t the right time to think about it.

Derek wanted to say something, but bit his tongue at the last second. This time, his silence was like an agreement. I took one step towards him.

\- Now tell me. Is it true? - I said more calmly. He looked at me still angry, but huffed and started talking.

\- Yes - it was like being struck by a lightning bolt.

\- How can you be sure? - he looked at me with a look "do you really have to ask?" and I lifted my brows at him. Yeah, I really had to. It was impossible for a werewolf and a werecat to mate, wasn’t it?

\- It’s your scent - when he understood I don’t get it he graciously (sarcasm here) explained - We… a werewolf knows who his mate is the moment they meet, because the mate’s scent is the best thing he ever smelled - he didn’t meet my eyes, but I knew he was telling the truth. He also felt embarrassed...

\- And that applies to me?

\- Yes.

\- So, the first time we met. That evening. You smelled it and you knew? - he just nodded - You knew for almost three months and you haven’t said anything? - my anger erupted again. He knew for fucking three months and didn’t deign to tell me?! - Why?! - I roared and pinned him to a tree. I shifted again, so I was not so small. And definitely much stronger.

I roared into his face, showing my strength and anger. As you can imagine, it triggered his shift and soon he was roaring back at me, all wolfed out. I punched him in the face and that’s how it started. We fought. Viciously. With fangs, claws, bites, punches, blood and curses. But in fact no one was winning. Derek was strong, yes and he didn’t stay behind. When I punched him, he punched back, we were not playing. But I could feel that in the end, we didn’t want to hurt each other.

\- Why haven’t you said anything? - I asked him again as I pinned him to the ground and was straddling him. Both of us breathing heavy.

\- I didn’t want to drag anyone into this shit that’s coming. I don’t want anyone to get hurt… - he said quietly. Wow, it was anger or tiredness making him talk. I rose my brow at him.

\- Do I look like I’m easy to hurt? - I smirked at him. He rolled his eyes and managed to change our position, making him tower me. I didn’t like that and started to growl at him.

\- You look like you don’t like being dominated… - he tensed and was getting ready to defend against my attack.

\- I hate it! - I snarled at him and attacked when provoked.

After that it wasn’t that violent as it was at the start. Our fight turned to be more like sparing. I could test my new gained moves from boxing, but I haven’t revealed to Derek everything I have learned. I wanted him to realize that I am able to protect myself and if I wanted, even to overpower him. He seemed to get it and soon our fight died.

I looked Derek direct in the eyes and tried to feel him. He was calming down (just like me) and part of him felt at peace… But then I felt those feelings engraved to him - anger, hurt, frustration. And more. I became aware of the people around us.  
I turned around. Peter was nowhere to see. Oh, smashing. Scott, Isaac and Stiles were gathered around Jackson. They looked at me uncertainly. Well, I couldn’t blame them for that.

\- Are you healed, Jackson? - I asked as I approached them. I could feel Derek behind me.

\- Not yet. I’m going to sue him for…

\- You are going to do shit - I cut him off - You are going to heal, forget about this, fly to London and live there like nothing happened - I looked at him sternly - Do you understand? - kid got frightened and just nodded his head.

I felt a lot of emotions from them, but I cared only about one. I felt something like pride coming off of Derek. I didn’t understand why he felt like that or why I cared about it.

\- Good. Scott, get him home - said kid was more willing to cooperate, he glanced at Derek, who nodded, and then left. I looked at the awful Toyota - Is that yours? - I asked Isaac.

\- Yeah - he was smiling shyly - Derek bought it - I raised my brows at that, Derek in response did the same. I chuckled and shook my head.

I moved to Stiles and touched his arm to make sure he’s ok. Mere millimeters from touching him I heard a growl. It was Derek. I huffed and squeezed Stiles’ arm even tighter.

\- What now? - I asked Derek, getting irritated at him.

\- Don’t touch him - I raised my brows at him again. Was he serious?

\- You have no right to tell me what to do… - I growled dangerously.

\- You are my mate - he said it like it’s a dogma. Well, maybe for him. For me it is a complete abstraction.

My eyes became huge from disbelieve and I used everything I had not to attack him again.  
I said Stiles goodbye and assured, I will call. I watched him drive away and then turned to Derek.

\- Do that again and you will regret it… - there it was, a threat. Again. After that, silence fall between us. I was getting tired of all of this and wanted to go home already - I’m not saying yes, but I am the worst mate your wolf could choose… - with that I got into my car and drove away.

 

***

 

 - We’re closed - he said as he heard door opening.

\- I don’t care - I said maliciously - You’re still going to answer my questions - I stood in the doorframe - And I will skip the fact that you was supposed to give me some information and you didn’t. Is it only me or you don’t like to share your knowledge in general? - I raised my hand - Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer that question. But answer this one: is it possible for werecat and werewolf to be mates? - I bored my eyes into his. Deaton’s brows rose. I smiled nasty - Yes, you heard correct. Now talk, because I’m not leaving until I get some answers.

\- I don’t know if it’s possible. Werewolves mate with their kind usually. Sometimes with humans. I haven’t heard about them mating with werecats… Mostly because you are so rare and hide yourself quite good.

\- Do you think we could breed? - it was a though that nagged me the most.

\- As humans, yes. But I don’t think you could sire a hybrid. It could be a normal child.

\- Or not…

\- Can I ask which werewolf is it?

\- No - I retorted - Is it true that it is for life? Mating. Like eternal love - I frowned as I said the last word.

\- For the wolf, yes. He will care about you and protect you with his life. And the cubs. If you die, he will be unhappy for the rest of his life. He will feel like he lost a part of himself. It’s quite romantic, don’t you think? - I rolled my eyes at him. Derek Hale and me are nothing like romantic.

\- No. Romantic is in fairy tails and harlequins not in a real life - I said bitterly.

\- What had happened that made you think like that? - there was concern in his voice.

\- Men… No matter - I wanted to end this discussion - Is there any ritual you have to perform to fully become mates? - it sounded silly, but I wanted to be sure.

\- It is called claiming, but it’s not a ritual. If it’s two werewolves, they claim each other. They bite one another during sexual intercourse on a full moon - I raised my brow at that - It’s like saying: he or she is taken, back of - he maintained stone face - If only one of the mates is a wolf, he does the biting. The rest is the same.

\- What happens if you reject your mate? - Deaton furrowed his brows.

\- You can’t. The wolf wont let you. The human part may resist, but in the end you will mate - I rolled my eyes. This suck.

\- This resisting… Can it make you violent?

\- Extremely - oh great! Now I have to take care of a violent Alpha and horny myself. Can it get any better?

\- Can it make you horny?

\- Definitely - ok, that was it. The end.

 

 

Today I was more sad and depressed than angry. Anger will come later, I knew it. It was my way of dealing with feelings. I don’t know how to cope with sadness, so I transform it into anger. And with anger, I know exactly what to do.

But now it was sadness… I slept a lot and tried not to think about being a mate. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want commitment. I wasn’t able to be in a relationship more than three months, how the hell was I supposed to stand a lifetime commitment?? And with Derek…  
Yeah, he was devilishly handsome and I believe extremely good in bed… And ok, he had some personally traits that I liked in him, like he was a survivor, strong willed, caring (though he will never admit that), but… but the overall was… Or maybe it was just me… Ugh!  
But on the other hand… It was not only me, who didn’t want to mate. Peter said that Derek rejects me… So, it was okay if I rejected him too, right? But Deaton said it is impossible not to mate. And that it will get him more and more violent… He is already like that. And what will he be if it aggravates? I don’t want anybody to get hurt because of that. And Idon’t want Derek to be hurt…

Conclusion: I was in a deep shit.

 

 ***

 

\- Scott?

\- Yeah?

\- Where are you?

\- At school. Did anything happen? - heh, funny, I was going to ask him the same question.

\- No. Can you talk?

\- Yeah, I’ve got free period.

\- Have you heard from Derek maybe? - I didn’t want to involve anyone in this mate situation, but Scott was the strongest after me and Derek and he would have to help me if anything happened.

\- What do you mean?

\- I mean losing his shit like the last time.

\- No, nothing like that. Isaac said that Derek hasn’t even been in their place since the last time.

\- Their place? - did I miss something?

\- Yeah, after Isaac’s father death, Derek took care of him and he somehow ended living with him.

\- Oh… So I don’t have to tell you or Isaac or anybody else to be careful? And if anything happens, call me. Ok? - I had to be sure Scott was on my side.

\- Yeah, I got it… - there was a pause and I knew something was coming - Agnes?

\- Yes?

\- Did you really… you know… with Stiles? - I rolled my eyes.

\- Yes, Scott. I really. I hope it wont ruin your friendship with Stiles?

\- No, no. We’re good - it wasn’t a lie, but in spite of all I felt something was wrong with that statement. I didn’t care, though. All that mattered, was Scott and Stiles’ friendship intact and Scott doing what I told him.

\- Ok then. Take care.

\- Yeah, bye.

 

 ***

  

Beating someone didn’t help. Even when he was fighting back. I tried that with my friend and it didn’t work. Going to parties, having sex, being overworked. Nothing helped. I was constantly thinking about Derek, about us being mates. I was fed up with it. I tried to do something, anything to make it stop. Nothing worked. It was over a week and I was desperate to go to him and do whatever it took to make this unsettling feeling go away.

But first I needed to calm down a little. I played some music for meditation and tried to relax. I knew, I wasn’t able to meditate right now, but maybe I could clear my mind just a little. I closed my eyes and just listened to the music...  
I thought about Buddhists, then about Thai monks, tigers they take care… I felt… something… Music seemed strange, my room smelled strange… I… I opened my eyes and got frightened at first. I could have sworn my room was more colourful... I took a look around.

My hands were orange paws with black claws. I was already used to cat ears and long tail, but this was new… I tried to get to the mirror to see how I looked and when I finally managed to do that, I almost screamed. I was a tiger. A full grown orange and black tiger. No hybrid, no humanoid. Pure tiger. I got excited, but at the same time disturbed. I focused and thought about being human again and it worked. Thank Gods it worked.

I stupidly gaped at myself in the mirror. Now, nothing is going to surprise me. I have werewolf friends, I am a mate to one, I am a werecat and I can take form of an actual tiger… If I met an alien, I won’t even blink.  
Aliens, New Mexico, cougar… I haven’t finished my line of thinking and I was already a tawny cougar. I closed my eyes and became human again.

I stared at myself for couple of minutes and then get ready to my meeting with Derek.

 

The weather became warmer, there was no snow anymore, but it wasn’t spring yet. When I stopped my car and looked at Derek’s house I tried to imagine how it looked before the fire. It had to be quite nice, surrounded by the woods, full of people, full of his family…  
I wonder how it is to have a big family… As you probably already guessed, I don’t have a big family. And I wondered, what was Derek back then…

Speaking of him. He was working out, bare chest. Did he do that on purpose?

I got out of my car and approached him. I shoved my hands in my black leather jacket (it’s not only Derek, who likes them, you know) and leaned on the stairs near him. He was doing push-ups and I had a nice view of his back. His muscled back. Mmm… I liked the way his muscles moved when he worked.  
I also watched his tattoo. It would be fun to trace the triskelion lines with my tongue… or better, with my nails. I believe, Derek smelt my arousal, but I didn’t care.

\- Hi - I said calmly, though I could feel him getting angry. I was fed up with him being constantly angry, but I wanted to talk not fight.

He was probably doing a series of exercises, because he stopped only after he was done. He looked at me, nodded and put on his long-sleeved Henley. Wow, what a greeting it was. Ladies, don’t expect too much from Derek Hale.

\- You wanted to talk, so talk - he crossed his arms and looked at me.

\- Are you going to be pissed at me all of the time?

\- If you are going to stink like that… - I rolled my eyes at him. He was referring to my rather promiscuous week.

\- I have told you before, mates or not, you are not going to tell me what to do. No one is - I stepped into his personal space and raised my chin, challenging him. As I bore my eyes in his, I felt heat coming from his body and his unique scent that I liked. Now was not time for that - It’s not only about you Derek. Have you thought how I feel about it? You were born like that. I just discovered who, what I am and now you want something from me I can’t give you - I focused on him and felt his resolve melting. He huffed.

\- You don’t understand… - he said with resignation.

\- You’re damn right, I don’t understand! - I was more frustrated than angry - I am a werecat, Derek. How the hell can I be your mate? - I started walking in circles to let go of that feeling.

\- I… You talked with Deaton - he stated to my back.

\- Yeah, so? - I glanced at him.

\- He gave you some answers.

\- Some. That’s definitely not enough - he was silent - That’s… Derek, there is a reason to the saying “Like cat and dog” - I reasoned - We are different kinds. Cats don’t form packs. We… females tolerate males only during heat and I definitely don’t want to be pregnant - I explained to him - I’m not compatible to you as a cat and as a woman… - I looked him in the eyes. I was trembling from emotions inside me.

This time, it was him who stepped into personal space. Mine. But he was not challenging. He was soothing. I felt his warmth and scent, again. I had to fight the urge not to snuggle to him.

\- I’m not good with men… - I said to his chest.

\- Then we have something in common, I’m not good with women…

\- Derek, that’s not… - I looked into his eyes, pained.

\- What do you want me to do? - he said gently.

\- I… You… - he surprised me with his question and his tone. I got a grip on myself - Spar with me - now he was surprised - We both like it and enjoy it - I smiled a little at him.

For the first time we fought without anger, viciousness, without trying to dominate one another. We were learning from each other. Derek tried to improve his speed as I constantly slipped from his reach and I was shown some punches and blocks. I smiled like a Cheshire cat when I surprised him with a block I learned from my friend. I used this to deliver a blow that knocked him to the ground.  
I thought it might angered him and held my hand out to help him get up. He took it, but not as help, more like in agreement. We stood facing each other, cooling down. Our breaths the only sounds among the silence of the woods.

\- Can you take the form of an actual wolf? - I asked after some minutes. Stiles once said that Laura was able to do that and since that I wondered if Derek could too. He nodded - Kids don’t know that, do they?

\- They don’t have to know everything - I smirked.

\- If I shift to an actual cat, will you show me? - I knew I have to bargain with him, but didn’t mind.

\- I think I know how an actual cat looks like - corners of his lips lifted a little. Derek Hale was joking. My, my, end was near.

\- My dear, I assure you, you don’t know how this - I pointed at myself - cat looks like - I grinned and winked at him.

I didn’t understand where this flirting came from. Yeah, I knew how to flirt. Especially with my mouth, but I haven’t done that in a long time. Maybe it was because almost everyone pissed me off and I haven’t found anyone interesting enough to flirt with…

I raised my brows, like hurrying him up and he huffed (what was with him and huffing) and started to take his clothes off.

\- If this is about me getting out of clothes… - he threatened, but I felt no danger.

\- Oh please, I’ve seen naked men before, Derek - I made a face.

\- Who said anything about naked? - he teased and I smacked him in the arm.

It felt nice. This playfulness between us. Like, I again found my friend, with whom I could joke and play, train and fight and have support when I needed it. I hoped…

I was so lost in thoughts, feelings and memories, that I haven’t noticed Derek had shifted. The feeling of a cool nose on my palm made me look down. What I saw… was beautiful.  
His wolf was larger than normal (it was probably because of his Alpha status), had the same jet black fur like Derek’s hair and red Alpha eyes. To be honest, I didn’t like those eyes on human Derek, but they suited the wolf form perfectly.

I crouched, our eyes on the same level.

\- Can I touch you? - I asked, but my hand was already millimeters from his fur - I have to touch you - there was desperation in my voice, that I didn’t like.

Derek just stood there and I took it as a yes. I buried my fingers in his long and thick fur and almost whined. It was so soft and delicate, but at the same time I knew it provided protection. My hand moved without me thinking and I hugged this big wolf. I felt his surprise, but he was not angry. But it was difficult to recognize his feelings. It was like they were hidden somewhere deep inside, while on the surface were more basic and instinctive needs.

I focused my senses on him and noticed that his scent was a little different. He still smelled man&forest as I called Derek’s scent, but it lacked the man part. It was replaced with more animal scent. He smelled like a wet dog in the forest.  
I smiled into his fur. Forest… I don’t know why this thought made me shift, but it did.  
I was standing on my paws, in front of him, my body a little smaller than his. We took tentative steps and smelled each other. I believe it was some view, as wolves and cougars normally doesn’t act like that.  
I purred and jumped away playfully. I hoped he understood that I wanted to run through the woods with him.

It felt like learning the world for the third time. First, I did that as a human child, second, when I was a werecat, and now, when I was in full cat form.  
At first, I tripped a lot, but thanks to my agility I haven’t landed with my face in the ground. Then I focused on noticing any potentially dangerous roots or branches and it was ok. I could hear, smell and feel Derek near me. When I felt more confident, I speeded.

Running was wonderful. I felt happy, I felt complete, I felt at ease. And was the most important - I felt really free. I read somewhere that during meditation or orgasm you felt nirvana and could experience divinity. Bullshit. This was better than orgasm. This was truly divine.

During this oblivion of mine, I haven’t noticed I ran through the river and was outside the preserve. It was like end of the city from this side. I turned and noticed Derek standing by the river, not crossing it. I meowed, trying to call him to me, but he just looked at me and started to drink water from the river. I grumbled and moved in his direction.

When I was near him, I noticed he was watching me closely. I didn’t know why, so I just shook myself off to get rid of the water from my fur and stared back at him. He approached me and then it became clear to me - he wanted to mate. This primal need was taking over him and the rest didn’t matter.  
I concentrated and shifted as fast as I could. I was human again.

\- Derek, don’t - I said sternly as I towered over his wolf form - Shift back - I almost ordered him. I sat on a big rock, crossed my arms on my chest and waited.

I admired the view. The river, the forest, nature was coming back to life. All of the time, I was watching Derek with corner of my eye. A song popped into my mind:

You only see what your eyes want to see  
How can life be what you want it to be  
You're frozen when your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get  
You waste your time with hate and regret

I heard a gasp and then realized I was singing the song aloud. I didn’t care if Derek liked me singing or not. It was one of my Madonna’s favorite songs and the text was adequate. I motioned at him to sit beside me and he complied. I was fully aware of the fact that he was naked and I had my green hoodie and jeans on me.

You're broken when your heart's not open

Mmm-mm-mm... If I could melt your heart  
Mmm-mm-mm... We'd never be apart  
Mmm-mm-mm... Give yourself to me  
Mmm-mm-mm... You hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame  
And you should know I'd suffer the same  
If I lose you, my heart will be broken

I looked him in the eyes and sang pointedly the next line, because it was very important line…

Love is a bird, she needs to fly  
Let all the hurt inside of you die  
You're frozen when your heart's not open

Silence fell between us. It was nice, just sitting like that beside him. It was much better than talking. Because talking meant making decisions that I didn’t want to make.  
I focused on Derek and felt that apart from enjoying the moment he also felt lost. I knew it was because of me and I felt bad for it, but I was stubborn and I said it once and I say it again: I will not submit. If he wanted me to be his mate, it has to be on my terms.

He must have sensed my resolve, because he asked:

\- What do I have to do? - I looked into his eyes.

\- You can’t withhold it? - he shook his head slowly.

\- The wolf… the urge… to have you… - and just like that all of my guilt was gone. And replaced with anger.

\- That’s first of your mistakes - he frowned - I am not a thing. You. Can. Not. Have. Me - I jumped from the rock and started to go back to his house, to my car.

\- Agnes… - he was pleading. I never thought he was able of that. He was desperate. I huffed.

\- You still don’t understand - I stopped - A cat doesn’t come when you call him. It comes when he wants. He won’t let you pet him when you want it, but when he feels like it - I explained to him again and again - Like in that song, love is a bird, she needs to fly… - he still didn’t get it - Oh my god, Derek, if you want me to accept being your mate, you have to let me go. You have to let me be free as I am now, you have to let me do things I want to do…

\- And let you stink of other men? - he growled with disgust. His possessiveness was getting on my nerves.

\- Yes!! - I shouted at him - Do that and I will be yours - I wanted to kick myself in the head, but it was too late now. I said the words. You see, that’s why I said silence is better.

He was shocked and silent. Of course. I stood there, rooted to the ground, breathing heavy and trying to calm down my anger. I could swear, I saw sparks of electricity around me.

\- How exactly, do I let you go? - he asked not looking at me. This time I was shocked. He was really willing to do that? The look in his eyes, when he finally met mine, told me everything.

\- I tell you - I motioned him to come with me.

We walked to his house beside each other.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) I think chapters will appear more frequently now.  
> This one is entirely a Femdom scene, so if you don't like don't read it :)  
> Greetings

To say I was excited was a misunderstanding of the year. I was drunk and stoned. Don’t worry, not literally. My skin tingled with anticipation and I had butterflies in my stomach. No, forget the butterflies, they are for the weak. I had giant, green and slimy toads. Tons of toads moving in my belly and making me restless.  
I was driving to Stiles’ home to pick him up. You’ll ask why? I tell you with delight. 

Derek said yes to my proposition. And the proposition was: have sex in a threesome, you, me and Stiles, according to a scenario planned by me.  
I have written him everything and even added some videos, I have found on the Internet during my research. Me and him were the only ones, who knew what is going to happen tonight. To Stiles, I have only said that he will finally have the opportunity to fuck me and that I have a surprise for him.  
We decided on the safe words, but I warned Derek that if he uses his, the whole mates deal is off. You might think I am a heartless woman to do that to him, but I wanted him to understand that while he sacrifices one night, I sacrifice my whole life for him.  
And talking about my heart… It was crushed so many times by men, that I was wondering how am I still alive…

So… there he was, my sweet boy. Tonight, I will call him that for the last time.  
I stopped by his house and waited for him to get in the car. I was greeted with delicious scent of his and a mix of emotions that made my head spin.

\- Mmm… - I couldn’t stop myself and had to murmur.

\- Don’t “mmm” me - Stiles panicked - I’m already so unbelievably freaked out - he started to shake and flail his hands. I grabbed them and soothed him, as always.

\- Shh… Just breathe, Stiles. As always. As I taught you - I stroked his face and drove off.

\- I know where we are… - he said as I parked my car.

\- And fortunately, no one more - I grinned mysteriously - Come - I took his hand and we entered the building. 

\- Do you remember the rules, Stiles? - I asked as he was looking around.

\- I thought this time there are no rules…

\- This time especially we need rules - his eyes wide - It is because of your surprise - I moved in front of him - Don’t worry. I assure you, you’ll like it - I smiled - Now. Do you remember the rules or not?

\- Yeah, I do - he said a little down.

\- Good. Take your clothes off. All. And place them there - I motioned an old chair 

\- Then kneel exactly here - I showed him the spot - with your head bowed and hands behind your back - I said firmly, but without anger. His heart quickened as he recognized those orders given to subs during BDSM sessions he probably watched on the Internet. I pulled him for a kiss - After that, we will start - I said as we stopped and moved to prepare things.

I felt Stiles’ discomfort as it was too cold for him here. It meant he was naked. I turned and saw him in position I told him to be. I shivered. Soon, he will be hot all over his body. And making him like that is going to be unthinkable pleasure. I took the black material and moved to stand behind him.

\- Good boy - I petted his hair and felt his heart flutter - I’m going to blindfold you, Stiles - his nervousness rose - You don’t have to always see everything Stiles… Feel it - I murmured into his ear and tied the blindfold. 

I then took my coat off. I was in a little black dress, stockings and high-heels. I had already put makeup, nothing fancy, some mascara and lipstick. I pinned my hair in a bun.  
I picked all things I needed for Stiles and approached him.

I put a leather collar around his neck, then leather cuffs around his wrists, every time saying him what I’m going to do. He was trusting me completely. There was no fear in him. Just anticipation, arousal and a little of nervousness. The last one piqued when I said I’m going to put a plug in his anus. But I pacified him by stroking his penis. I told him to stay in his position a little longer, so I could admire this beautiful view.  
He was on his hands and knees, blindfolded, collared, cuffed and plugged. Mmm… My dreams were coming true.

I slapped his ass cheeks with my palms. Not once. The sound of the slaps and Stiles’ moans filled the air. His bottom was bright red when I finished. I said once, this color suited him and it was absolutely true. Then, I soothed the hot skin with wet kisses.

Next, I made him stand with his back against a pillar, his hands behind it, and buckled the cuffs together. I petted his thighs and told him to move his legs apart. I had easy access to his penis and I used it. I stroked him until he was hard and fastened leather straps at the base of his testicles and penis. I needed him hard for quite a long time tonight.

I started whipping him, not hard. I didn’t want to cause him pain or leave marks that will take time to heal. He was holding his tongue and not talking. I could hear only sweet moans and gasps from him. I whipped his chest, abdomen and thighs. After I finished, I petted him there and at the end I kissed him passionately. He kissed me back with the same force.

\- You’re doing great, Stiles. Keep that up and the reward will be unforgettable… - I assured him.

I repeated the whipping on his back, but before that I scratched his it with my nails. Those were the only marks I wanted to leave on him. He gasped and I kissed him between his shoulder blades. 

I then put my fingertips at his sides, below his armpits and just touched him along his ribs. It was a very light touch, barely noticeable, but I learned that some boys were very sensitive there. He gasped at the sensation and after a while he started wiggling as it tickled him. Tickle and tease. Pleasure and pain. I never knew I liked it so much. No. I loved it.  
I chuckled, reached and pinched his nipples.

\- Time for your surprise. Come - I said while releasing his arms - You too - I whispered so Stiles couldn’t hear it and he placed himself exactly where I wanted him to be.

I moved Stiles to a mattress and made him kneel. Again buckled his cuffed wrists together behind his back.

\- Stick your tongue out - he obeyed and I took his head in my hands and pushed him forward until he reached what was in front of him. 

When he did, he gasped startled and tried to move away, but I stopped him.

\- Stiles - my voice calm but firm - Don’t be afraid - I stroked his hair - You trust me, yes? - he nodded - Then suck him - this time I ordered - I know you are curious how it feels - I whispered sweetly to his ear. He blushed, but turned his head and tried to find that unknown penis again. I helped him and he clumsily took it into his mouth and started to suck.

He was eager as always, although he didn’t know if he was doing it right, because the man above him wasn’t making any noise. Stiles, on the other hand, was making delicious noises. His sucks, gulps, gags even were making me hornier and hornier. As a reward, I decided to take his blindfold off.

\- I’m going to take your blindfold off - I said as I moved closer to him. Stiles was now trapped between me and the man - so you could see, who it is - I untied the material and let it fall to the ground.

As I suspected, the moment Stiles saw him, he wanted to move back. But I held his head and didn’t let his mouth off Derek’s half-hard penis. 

\- No, Stiles. Not yet - I held him in place until he started gagging. Then I let him pull away. He started coughing and then gasping. I patiently waited for him to calm down, making soothing circles on his back.

\- Derek… - he panted.

\- Yes, it’s Derek, now be a good boy and suck him more - I said little annoyed, because I wanted to move to the next thing planned.

Stiles did as told, but I could feel some uneasiness in him.

I focused on Derek for the first time this evening. He was beyond angry. He wanted it to be me not Stiles, who had his mouth around his penis. But he did as I told him. Although, I could feel that underneath this stillness was a beast shaking with fury. Only when you looked in his eyes you could see that.  
I believe desperation was pushing him. He was willing to do things for me men don’t want to do. He was willing to submit to me. This big bad wolf, this Alpha, he was going to submit to me. A canine to a feline. He wanted me to accept being his mate more than that. You don’t see that normally, that’s why I was so excited. I was really looking forward to that. 

He was beautiful. Completely different kind of beautiful than Stiles. Raw and powerful. I saw him naked before. His broad shoulders, his perfect pecks, abs, rounded ass, strong and long legs. All of his beautifully sculpted body. Mine. All those powerful muscles, still. For me. His mind set on one thought. Me. And I will give it to him, if he let go of it all. Do you know the rush of power it gives? Can you imagine?

\- Enough - I said roughly. I was running out of my patience - Time for the main course.

I freed Stiles from his collar, cuffs and plug. I left the straps around his penis though, I didn’t want him to come too fast. I gave Stiles a condom to put it on, while I was standing in front of Derek. He looked at me hesitantly and I let him feel some soothing feelings to calm him. For the first time tonight, I touched him. I took his penis in my hand and stroked him with effort. He hissed through clenched teeth. I smirked. Within seconds he was hard.

\- Keep it that way - I said as I ran my thumb over the tip of his penis for the last time, gave him a condom too and turned around. I took my dress off and heard two gasps. I smirked again. I had no underwear. I let my hair loose and took Stiles’ hand - Come - I lied on the mattress - I’m all yours… - I heard rumbling coming from Derek, but no words or any other sounds. He knew better, to contain his anger.

\- Oh my God, this is really happening… - Stiles said, both scared and excited. He lied on top of me. I smiled at his words.

\- Yes, Stiles. This is really happening - I answered him like the last time and kissed him hard, taking control over the kiss.

Derek’s anger rose and he became mad. When I felt it, a shiver ran through me. Of course he wanted it to be him on top of me, not Stiles. It would be wonderful to have angry sex with him. But I believe there will be time for that in the future, since I knew how to make him mad. I smirked. Stiles noticed that and I felt his shyness. Now he was shy??

\- What? - I almost growled at him.

\- You’re beautiful… - he whispered. My eyebrows shoot up, but then a honest smile appeared on my lips. I took his head in my hands and looked deep into his eyes.

\- Thank you, my sweet boy - and I kissed him, the most tenderly and lovingly as I could muster. It was not about getting Derek jealous. In this particular moment it was about Stiles. And only Stiles. It was a thank you for all the time we had together.

I knew Derek sensed that I cared about Stiles. But it was like I said to Stiles’ father - a child/brother concern. The sex was just an addition, because we both were constantly horny, although our reasons were different.  
I rolled us, so I was on top and smiled at Stiles.

\- Do one more thing for me… - I moved north and Stiles knew exactly what to do.  
I closed my eyes in delight as I felt his tongue on me. And to think that once I didn’t like oral sex. Ridiculous.

\- Mmm… - I purred. I felt Stiles’ happiness as he made me happy. 

Rage piqued somewhere near. I opened my eyes and saw blood red eyes bored into me. Seeing him like that…

\- Come here, Derek - I said harsh and I didn’t care about Stiles feeling a little nervous. He moved like the predator he was. Slowly, with grace, his eyes not letting go of his prey. But it was not his hunt, has he forgotten about that?

I pointed the floor and he understood I wanted him to kneel. His eyes were still red so I turned my turquoise and stared back at him. I slowly raised my hand and placed it at the base of his head, pulling him in for a kiss.  
It was our first kiss, but it was nothing like romantic, especially with Stiles beneath me. But it was intense. And the best. All of that anger, all of that jealousy, it lit a fire. And that fire made our kiss fierce. Hard. Demanding.  
Derek couldn’t touch me (it was one of the rules), so he put everything in that kiss. He wanted me. Not only to finally become his mate, but all of me as a woman. He did not only desired me, he longed for me. It overwhelmed me. All those feelings and thoughts, it was too much…

My orgasm hit me unexpectedly. I screamed and fisted my palm in Derek’s hair, pulling at them, which made him hiss.  
Stiles licked me, until I calmed down. When I did, I let go of Derek and lied again, ready for Stiles. A soft smile on my lips. I lifted my eyebrow, like asking: what are you waiting for?

When he finally entered me I arched my back and moaned. I was very sensitive after the first orgasm and second could come quickly, if Stiles moved in the right way.  
And he did. First slowly, as he himself adjusted, and then faster. The slapping noises and our ragged breaths filling the air. For a moment I forgot about the feelings of others. It was just me and the pure pleasure.

But it wasn’t for long, as I felt Derek’s feelings. He was jealous, though he covered it with anger. I focused on him and could tell that this jealousy was not about the fact that someone had what he couldn’t, but it was about someone having what is his.  
I hoped we will be able to work this mate thing out. Because, if not… then we’ll hurt each other.

I arched my back and lifted my hands behind my head as the second orgasm hit. And shuddered.

\- Oh, fuck… - I gasped and stretched, still in the bliss of coming.

\- Agnes… - Stiles’ broken voice brought me back to reality - Take them of… - he was talking about the straps he still had on his testicles and penis.

\- In a moment - I smiled and winked at him - Derek… - he placed himself behind Stiles - is going to fuck you while you’re fucking me… - I grinned, but his eyes became huge with horror.

\- Have you seen his… his… - I didn’t understand why he had a problem saying the word.

\- Penis? - I helped - Yes, and?

\- It’s huge! - he flailed his hands - No offence, dude - he said to Derek and I laughed.

\- Come here - I pulled him for a kiss. He glued his body to mine - You already know you like anal sex. He’s not going to hurt you, Stiles. I promise. After he’s inside you, I will take off the straps, ok? - I stroked his face and planted kisses on it. Finally, I felt him slipping inside me again. I put my palms on his ass cheeks and opened him for Derek. Said man looked at me questioningly - Do it - I said in that authoritative voice of mine. Derek obeyed, but as he was deeper and deeper inside Stiles the teen was more uncomfortable - Shh baby - I tried to soothe him with kisses and touches. Finally, Derek was all in.

Stiles was cowered in sweat and breathing heavy. His forehead on mine. My hands on him. One in his hair, petting and other on his back, soothing. Derek towering over us. Our bodies were tangled with each other.  
When I felt Stiles adjusted, I rushed Derek putting my feet on his ass cheeks and pulled their bodies towards me. Honestly, the three of us moaned. It was unexpected experience to me, not to mention Stiles. He felt weird. He was a mix of a lot feelings.  
I reached and undo the straps around Stiles and he moaned again. I felt relieve coming off of him.

\- Now, Stiles… - I smiled a Cheshire cat smile - Fuck me and fuck yourself - I winked at him. From now on this phrase will have completely different meaning…

Unfortunately, it took only couple thrusts for Stiles to come. He moaned in my face and then I felt his penis pulse. I didn’t want to cause him any pain, so I lied there motionless, stroking his face with light fingers. He mumbled Oh my God and nuzzled into me, exhausted. I smiled and turned my head. Derek was staring at me with pale eyes. I reached and stroked his cheek with my index finger. It was almost done… Almost.

After Derek pulled himself out of Stiles I gave both of them a bottle of water to drink. Stiles’ had something extra in it. I then washed him a little with a cloth wetted with the bottled water. 

\- I feel dizzy… - said Stiles as I sat him on the makeshift bed made from a mattress and a blanket.

\- You’re tired - I stroked his hair - Take some sleep - I lied him and covered - You did great, Stiles - he smiled and I kissed his lips in a gentle kiss for the last time, he was half asleep - Sleep, my sweet boy - I stroked his hair and kissed him on the cheek.

 

So, on the battlefield were left only me and Derek. He knew what was going to happen now…  
I took what I needed from my bag, tied my hair and moved to the mattress we just made sex.

\- Not there… - he said not far from me. I raised my brow at him.

\- Your knees might get hurt - I reasoned with him, because there was no other mattress here. Well, except the one that Stiles was on, but it didn’t count.

\- I don’t care. Not there - I looked at him, my brows furrowed. And then I understood. The mattress smelled of me, Stiles and sex. It obviously didn’t matter that his scent was on it too.

I put my high heels on and after founding a different place, motioned him to come to me.

\- I’m not changing it again - I stated and he just nodded - Get on your hands and knees - I said calmly but firmly. There was nervousness in him - Derek - I said harder - it is finished for Stiles, but not for you. Do what I say or our agreement is off - he was battling with himself. If he thought I wouldn’t ask of what I wanted, then he was greatly mistaken. 

We had a staring contest and I obviously win, because he finally obeyed me. But he was angry again. I was starting to think, he is like me with dealing with emotions. Transform them into anger, because that is one emotion I know how to deal.

I crouched in front of him, only in my stockings and heels, a ball gag placed on my thighs. I took his face into my palm and made him look at me.

\- Tell me how I feel, Derek - I said calmly and stroked his cheek with my thumb. I waited for his answer.

\- Excited, aroused, happy - he said quietly. I smiled.

\- Mmm… And do you know why I’m happy? - he scowled - It’s because of you, Derek - he was surprised - And because of what you’re doing now - I wanted him to understand, so I explained to him - This mate thing, it’s something natural for you, but not for me. It is also natural for men to take women. But that’s also not me. I have told you once, if you want to have me, it has to be on my terms. And I have the habit of doing things the unusual or hard way. I want you to submit to me. Exactly, the same way you want me to submit to you. I don’t care that you’re the Alpha. I care about the fact that I am going to be your woman and you my man for the rest of our lives. I know, it can be long or not, but I can’t live with someone hating it… - I searched his eyes - Tell me you’ll at least try to understand it - I was still stroking his face.

\- I’ll do - he said calmly. I smiled and ducked my head to kiss him. Very slowly, inch by inch, until I reached his lips. I kissed him, but I wouldn’t say he kissed back. I backed a little, still looking into his eyes. There was battle in them and I wanted him to stop. I wanted him to finally stop battling and find peace. 

Something happened, because he lifted his head and captured my lips. At first it was tentative, but Derek’s kisses were very specific. They were packed with feelings, feelings he usually didn’t show, but not only. They were intense and overwhelming. I felt like hit by a lightning bolt. I kissed him back hard, because that lightning ignited fire in me again. I knew he felt it too. With the last touch of our lips I purred. When we parted I smiled at him. He was content for that moment.

But not for long. I raised the gag to put it on him and he tensed, his fists clenched. I huffed.

\- Do you want Stiles to wake up and see you like this? - I reasoned with him and it was obviously very apt remark, because he opened his mouth. 

I fastened the gag, took his face in my palms and smiled at him. I purred in delight and kissed his cheek.  
He could smell I was very pleased. How couldn’t I be pleased? I had Derek Hale, the Alpha on his hands and knees in front of me. Voluntarily (our mates deal didn’t count, he could always said no). Who else had him like that? Maybe that bitch, Kate, but she was dead now. And I was his mate. It made my head spin.

I put the strap-on on, kneeled behind him and poured some lube between his ass cheeks. He felt uneasy as I spread them and let the liquid drip at the tip of the dildo. I placed it at his entrance and he tensed visibly. His shoulders, buttocks, I believe his fists were still clenched and his jaw too, as he bit into the gag.

\- Derek… Don’t shred the gag into pieces - I warned, but then said calmly - Breathe. And relax your muscles - to help him with that I stroked his ass cheeks and his back. I put my palm in the middle of his back and put pressure on it - Down, on your forearms - I decided it might be better for him in that position. He obeyed. 

I then grabbed his hips and entered him. Even with the gag on I could hear his hiss. I held his cheeks spread and constantly put pressure until the dildo was all in. I knew he was in pain, but it will fade away in an instant. I let him adjust and purred in delight as I finally was inside him.  
I ran my nails over his body and he shuddered.

\- Mmm… - I purred - Divine - I was extremely aroused. I wanted to devour him.

I started to move. My thrusts in a steady rhythm. As I suspected, Derek didn’t feel pain anymore. He felt weird. Funny, Stiles felt the same, when I entered him like that. But I wanted to move my hips more. I changed position.

\- Back on your hands, Derek - I instructed him and he obliged. I then got up from my knees and took the best position for me - And ass up, slowly - he did, dildo all the time inside him - Good - as a reward I touched his penis. He would jump if I wasn’t towering him. So he whined. 

I smiled. His penis was hard. Oh… this was very good… I stroked him some and at the same time thrusted into him. I leaned, my breasts on his strong back. He was supporting almost all of my weight.  
I grabbed his throat, pulling his head back, and squeezed digging my nails in.

\- Don’t tell me this doesn’t feel good - I said into his ear in a low voice laced with lust.

I let go of his penis and grabbed his shoulders with both hands. My human nails deep in his skin, anchoring me to him. He didn’t know that, but when I dig my nails like that it means I care. I know it’s wicked logic, but that’s how I am.  
I thrusted into him hard, letting go of my anger, frustration, fear also (caused by the mates thing). Then I felt I cared about him and my thrusts became more steady and rhythmic. I rolled my hips, which brought me pleasure. I wasn’t scratching his body anymore, I touched him, stroked him. His skin was so smooth, though muscles beneath hard as steel.

I focused on him. He was rather quiet, groaning from time to time and he felt… He felt rather pleasurable. There was no anger in him anymore. Honestly, there wasn’t too much in him in that moment, like he was a blank page, tabula rasa. He was content and at peace. Finally.  
That’s what I wanted for him. And that was mine doing. Mine…

My Feline awakened. Why so late, I didn’t understand. But I knew I wanted him to be mine. I won’t let anybody hurt him or even touch him anymore. He. Is. Mine.  
I turned my eyes turquoise, grabbed his throat again and bit his flesh. My feline teeth deep in that muscle where neck meets with shoulder.

The moment I bit him, Derek became motionless. Shocked and confused. And then he came. Unexpectedly and moaning loudly (as loud as the gag let him). He shuddered as his warm sperm was covering the floor beneath him. 

He was still motionless and reliving his bliss.  
I murmured into his shoulder, let go of his neck and started to lick up the blood I draw from his body. 

I didn’t know what happened. One moment we were both feeling pleasure and second I was digging my fangs into Derek’s flesh. Not in a love bite. In a claiming bite… I… Oh my god… How could I claim him? I’m not…

I focused on Derek. He’s head bowed and he was breathing heavy, shocked and confused, yeah, I felt the same. But he wasn’t angry.  
I kissed him in the centre of his triskelion and placed my forehead on his back for a moment. I wanted him to know, to smell how I felt. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t plan to claim him. Feline females don’t claim males.

I then finally moved. Very slowly and carefully. I pulled out from him and took the strap-on off. Derek was still on his hands and knees, he hasn’t moved an inch and was making no effort to do so.  
I kneeled in front of him and undid the gag, lifting my brow when I noticed it’s damaged. But it didn’t matter. I placed it on the ground and looked at Derek.

\- Derek… - I said with concern - are you ok? - he looked at me with his pale eyes. Honestly? I feared to touch him at this moment. He gasped, like he came back to reality.

\- Yeah… - his voice was hoarse. I frowned. I wanted to say “no, you’re not”, but bit my tongue. I tentatively reached his wrist and stroked it.

\- Come - I helped him got up - Let’s get some sleep - I took his big hand in mine and moved in direction of the mattress Stiles slept on.

But before we lied down, I opened a bottle of water, drank some and gave it to Derek. I sat next to him and touched his arm.

\- Are you really ok or you just saying that to get rid of me? - I was still concerned. And he still looked at me with those pale eyes. I rose my brows.

\- I’m confused… - he finally stated.

\- Yeah, tell me about it - I peeled off my stockings. 

Stiles started to click his tongue during sleep and I chuckled. This boy was unbelievable. I made some noises myself and he stopped. Derek looked at me perplexed. Then he was a little angered and jealousy. I almost welcomed the anger, because it meant the Derek I knew was back.  
I touched the back of his hand.

\- Don’t worry. It’s finished with Stiles - I assured him.

\- And others? - he lifted his brows. I smirked.

\- Yes. I’m a faithful person - I said honestly. 

We stared into each other eyes for some time. Just before he leaned in, I saw something, was it vulnerability? We kissed tenderly. Maybe it’s my ignorance, but I never thought Derek can kiss like that. Or maybe he was too tired and too confused.

We lied, facing ourselves, he wanted to put his hand on my hip, but Stiles rolled and grabbed me under my breasts and spooned me from behind. I smiled. Derek wanted to growl, but I raised my finger to my mouth and silenced him. 

\- He’s cold - I pointed - Let him - Derek knew I was right and let it be.

I nuzzled into his neck and felt he liked that. Kissed him above his heart and it definitely skipped a beat. I smiled at that. 

Stiles was snuggled into my back and I was snuggled into Derek’s chest. Our bodies tangled with each other again. We were at peace.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story finally mixes with the 3a season, hope you will like it.

Don't tell me that I won't, I can  
Don't tell me that I'm not, I am

I was singing along with Joss Stone’s “Free me” playing in my car. A carton box placed on the passenger seat and some stuff in the trunk. For the first time in a long time I felt really happy. I knew it won’t last long, because life’s a bitch and every time I’m happy something bad happens. Like I once said: word’s equilibrium has to remain untouched. But let’s be happy for as long as I can, shall we?

I thought about today’s morning, when the three of us have woken up.  
Derek was first and then me. He wanted to flee as he noticed where he was and what had happened that night. I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

\- Not yet - he frowned at me. I turned to Stiles and woke him up.

\- Stiles, wake up - I shook him.

\- Mmm… - was his response. Oh, that brat. I started to tickle him, but not for play. He squeaked and was woken up in an instant - You’re the devil - he said as he rubbed his eyes. I grinned.

\- Well, thank you - I heard a grunt behind my back. Stiles heard it too. When he realized, it was Derek a huge wave of embarrassment came off of him - Oh, come on, Stiles - I squeezed his arm and heard a growl from Derek - It was fun night, wasn’t it? - I winked at him - And you - I turned to Derek - Don’t growl at me. I will touch him, because I care about him. Deal with it - he scowled - And it doesn’t deny what I said yesterday - I looked hard in his eyes to see if he understood. Finally, he nodded - Stiles, give me your hand - the teen looked at me weirdly, but complied - Heal him - I said to Derek.

\- Whoa, what? - Stiles panicked. I huffed.

\- Try to get up - I rushed him. He couldn’t. Only then he noticed how his whole body hurt - See - I raised my brows at him - Derek can take that pain away - Stiles frowned, but gave me his hand again - Do it - I said to Derek in a silent plea. 

He reached his hand, placed it on Stiles’ and soon black lines appeared on his forearms. Stiles made big eyes and felt uneasy, but I held him and stroked his back until it was over.  
After that Stiles jumped out of our “bed” like a frigging gazelle and I just chuckled. I turned to Derek and whispered a thank you. He just nodded.

I went to retrieve my dress from the floor and put it on, feeling Derek's eyes on me all of the time. I smiled and looked over my shoulder at him with seductive eyes and smile. He just shook his head, but I could tell the corners of his lips were up. 

\- Is there a private party I wasn’t invited to? - Stiles brought us back to reality.

\- Maybe… - I said with the same seductive eyes and smile.

I packed my things, put the rest of my garments on and was ready to go. I stood in front of Derek.

\- I know you don’t like it, but I think we need to talk… - I said calmly. He nodded. I rolled my eyes at him - At your place, in the evening?

\- Ok - he only said.

\- You’re unbelievable… - I shook my head, but there was smile on my lips.

I touched his cheek and he ducked his head a little. I felt his hand on my waist and smiled a soft smile. I kissed his cheek and felt he tightened his grip on my waits for a moment and then let go. I let go too.

***

I texted Isaac to get address of the loft and tipped that if they’re still looking for Erica and Boyd maybe they should try the center of the north-east part of the city.

I parked my car and took my bag, the box and the shopping bag. Armed in everything I needed, I entered the building and climbed the stairs. I didn't want to use the elevator. First, I didn't know if it's working, second, I had a feeling it made a lot of noice and that wasnt good for what I had in the box. I had some trouble opening the door, but finally dealt with them. I wouldn’t deal? Pff! Yes, I was definitely in a good mood.  
I stepped into the loft and found Derek cleaning a kitchen counter. My eyes became huge and my brows shoot up.

\- What? - he asked irritated. I tried to find the right words.

\- I never took you for the “perfect housewife” kind of man - I smirked.

\- Well, since you’re not the “perfect housewife” kind of woman… - he retorted and wiped his hands. A smirk on his lips. I narrowed my eyes and wanted to say something, but he cut me off - What’s in the box? - he asked suspiciously and I smiled the Cheshire cat smile.

\- A surprise - I winked, but he frowned.

\- I don’t like surprises…

\- Oh, c’mon - I placed everything on his coffee table and took off my jacket - You will love her, just like me.

\- Her? - he was standing next to me. I opened the box and pulled out a beautiful black cat.

\- Meet Clarisse - I held her close to my face and nuzzled into her fur to sooth her, because she was very nervous and disoriented - Although, I think you should call her Kala. It’s black, in Hindi. And she’s yours - I smiled at him. He just stood there - Well? Say something.

\- It’s a cat - he uttered.

\- Thank you for pointing the obvious - I said sarcastically.

\- What do you want me to say? - he was getting irritated.

\- For example… how do you feel? - I set the trap…

\- Confused? It’s a cat and I’m a werewolf. How can we even… - snap! I have caught something - It’s about you and me, isn’t it? - I smiled sardonically. I sat on the sofa, making room for him to do the same. Cat in my lap.

\- Yes, Derek, it’s about you and me - I scratched the cat behind her ears. She started to purr - That feeling? I felt the same when I found out I’m your mate - looked pained at him.

\- Is it really that bad? Being my mate? - he got angry. I looked at him, hurt.

\- I don’t even know exactly what it means to be your mate?! - Cat got scared, her eyes wide, ears flat. I huffed and closed my eyes to calm myself, him and the cat - Derek… I’m accepting it slowly, ok? - I looked at him questioningly - But that’s why I said we have to talk. I want you to tell me everything you know and we have to work this thing out. Together.

\- Ok. And the cat? It has to stay? - he looked at her hesitantly.

\- Yes. It’s for you to learn about cats - I reached and took his hand - ‘Cause I know a lot about dogs and not so little about wolves - she started to sniff Derek’s hand.

\- Really?

\- Really. My studies, remember? - he nodded and tried to pet her, she let him. I smiled happily at him.

I wasn’t expecting what he did next. He cradled my face in his hand, leaned in and kissed me gently. The taste of him, the smell he carried, the touch he offered… I… I let go of my fears and let him do it. Let him have me the way he wanted. For now. I kissed him back slowly, savoring the moment. But as I felt my walls getting down, I got scared and my Feline came to life. She took control and deepened the kiss. Derek noticed that change.

\- What happened? - he asked worried as I got up from the couch, approached the ceiling to floor window and stared through it to calm myself. Cat forgotten. I knew I have to explain it to him somehow, but I couldn’t find the words.

\- No one likes to be vulnerable…

\- That was only a kiss… - I heard him near me. Was protectiveness over his mate already kicking in? I turned to look at him.

\- A kiss can be used against you - my eyes were hard, but inside me was a huge storm as I recalled all the men who did exactly that. Derek smelled something was wrong and grabbed my arms.

\- What do you mean? Who used you? - there was desperation in his voice. Yes, protectiveness was definitely kicking in. 

My eyes turned turquoise and I growled at him, but he didn’t let go of me. He stood there, made soothing motions on my arms with his thumbs and bored his worried and searching eyes into mine.  
I gasped as I came to my senses. I placed my hand on his chest, second on his waist. I listened to his heartbeat and felt it under my palm. I calmed down enough to answer him.

\- Boys, then men - I stated to his chest - They used me since I was 15. They played with me. With my feelings. For years. They made me think I was useless. That I was the problem, when it didn’t work. They smashed my world into pieces so many times… And every time I put myself together a piece of me was always missing or in a wrong place - I looked sadly at him - That’s why I hate men. Because they hurt me and made me the way I am today. But they also created a double-edged sword… - I smiled menacingly - that is pointed at them now as I learned how to wield it.

\- I’m sorry - he said quietly. I looked at him - I used to hate every human when my family died, but… but I learned that not every human is bad - there was a plea in his eyes, to forgive and to accept. 

He touched my cheek with light fingers. I closed my eyes and accepted his touch. He could smell I was scared. Scared of the future with a man. A man that cared about me, but still a man. A werewolf, who I was not compatible with as a werecat and yet I was his mate.  
I touched his hand, stroked his knuckles. I opened my eyes and tried to smile, but it was a sad smile. He was still worried.

\- I care about you… though it sometimes looks like I don’t - I took his hand in mine and brought him to the couch. We sat - Let’s start again…

\- Where is that cat? - oh, right, the cat wasn’t on the sofa. I focused and heard her purring. I smiled.

\- She’s in your bed - I chuckled.

\- What? No. If she… - he got up and wanted to chase her away, but I stopped him.

\- She’s just sleeping - I calmed him - Let her be - he huffed and sat again.

\- If you want me to keep her you have to tell me a lot of things…

\- Ok.

So we talked. Derek agreed to call her Kala (How do you know Hindi? he asked. I have a lot of interests and there’s also Google Translator). I told him she’s from the animal shelter. She’s four years old, good mannered and sterilized. I told him how to feed her and gave him some cans with wet cat food I bought for her. I also gave him a litter box (she inherited it after my own cat) he placed almost outside the loft as he decided it will stink.

\- I don’t know… Do you find my room stinking? - I asked him. 

\- It’s a mix of a lot of scents, mostly yours - he answered honestly.

\- What is my scent then? - I was curious since he said about mates and scent.

\- A little floral, I think it’s jasmine, a lot of lemon - he smiled a little - and opium, too - wow, he was specific. I stared at him.

\- What? - he asked irritated, like saying about my scent made him vulnerable somehow.

\- When I think about your scent, I describe it as man&forest. I can’t describe it like you did. It’s just… you - I looked at him hesitantly - Does it make any sense? - he smiled that smile where corners of his mouth are down.

\- Yeah, it does.

Then we talked about how it is to be a werewolf, then a werecat. We transferred it to a daily life and human relationships (Gods, how I hate that word). I told Derek how I see it. He agreed on some things and some we had to thoroughly discuss.  
He told me how it is to be a part of a pack and though I could feel it hurt him, he told me about his family. After some time he fell silent and I knew it was the end of that topic. To loosen the atmosphere, I changed the topic.

\- I’m more of a wood fan than metal and concrete, but I like your place. It’s spacious and has industrial styling - I looked around - You should have Nine Inch Nails playing in the background - he looked at me surprised.

\- You know Nine Inch Nails? - I raised my brows.

\- Duh, I’m a fan - I raised my hands and rolled my eyes.

And then we started talking about their music and about music in general.  
I haven’t noticed that we spend so much time together until it was quite late at night (I’m a night owl). I decided it’s time to go, I have work tomorrow after all. I told Derek to take care of Kala and himself and kissed his cheek gently. He squeezed my waist like the last time. And like the last time, I smiled.

***

I was struggling to manually configure my new phone and it was a bitch. They asked too much questions and had too much options. Not that I was that old school and preferred old Nokia phones. Those one like bricks that could kill you, if you thrown it into someone. But the phone was new and completely different from my old one, ok?

So, it was a little late when I saw all the messages and missed calls I had during switching the phones. They were panic texts from Stiles that Isaac was missing, then relieved when he was found and disturbed when he said that the Alphas made a move. Missed calls from Stiles (of course), Derek and even Scott. Derek send only one text: to come earlier than we planned, like around 4 p.m.

Well, tonight was the full moon. The full moon, when we were supposed to claim each other fully as mates, but something told me that’s not gonna happen.  
I told my parents that something came up and I had to return to the city earlier.

The reason why I was at my parents’ house in the first place (well, apart from the fact that I visit them at least once a month) is that for the last days I wasn’t feeling ok. Something was off. Not like the last time, when I was restless about being Derek’s mate. This time it was like something was in the air.  
I’m a weather-sensitive person. I can’t sleep when foehn wind starts, have horrible headaches and feel like zombie when air pressure changes. And I get depressed when there’s no sun. Welcome in my world. 

This time it was something like that. My head hurt and pills and coffee weren’t making me any better. I told Derek about it and he tried to take my pain away, but it didn’t work. So I went to my family home, to my parents. And it helped. No headaches. No feeling off. I was ok.  
I was wondering if it will come back when I found myself in the city again. This weird feeling.

 

\- Why weren’t you answering your phone? - I was asked by Peter as a welcome when he get to the loft. After him were Stiles and Scott.

I was sitting at Derek’s desk. My left to the rest of the apartment, my right to the window and Derek, who stood beside me and looked through the said window. He told me what happened those past days and I could feel his wolf’s restlessness to get the Betas out of the bank vault. I offered my help, but only after growling at him and assuring him I’m ok he accepted it.  
I growled at Peter.

\- I was in the middle of changing my phones

\- How convenient… - he said as he sit on the spiral stairs.

\- What’s that supposed to mean? - I asked in authoritative voice and glared at him. Peter mitigated.

\- Shut up, Peter - Derek said at the same time.

\- Whoa, what just happened? - asked Scott.

\- What do you mean? - I asked him calmly.

\- You just mitigated Peter. Without punching him - Scott pointed out and I smiled like a Cheshire cat.

\- I would argue about that… - Peter smirked - But she’s the mate of our Alpha - he paused - and that ranks her somewhere.

\- Definitely higher than you… - Stiles finally said something. He was busy placing the blueprints and other stuff on the desk. I smirked.

\- So what? You’re like alpha female right now? - Scott asked. I frowned. Derek finally understood, but the kids were completely different pair of shoes…

\- It would be accurate if I was a werewolf. But I’m not - I ended this discussion - We’re here for something else than deciding my status, so let’s focus on it - I poked papers on the desk.

Stiles was explaining to us how the robbers broke into the bank and how we could adapt their plan to get Boyd and Erica out of there. The plan was good, but yeah, we didn’t have a diamond bit.

\- Forget the drill - Derek interrupted Stiles - If I go in first, how much space do I have? - I looked at Derek thoughtfully. Stiles started arguing with him and when he said:

\- Ok, let’s see that fist. Big, old fist - I knew it will end bad for him.

Derek punched his palm and Stiles almost landed on the floor. Scoot had this “dude, wtf?” look and Peter and I just shook our heads. Derek was stone faced.

\- That was stupid, Stiles - I said as he whined somewhere near the couch.

\- Who’s following me down? - Derek asked. 

We had a plan, now we needed partners in crime. After Peter’s speech about testicles coming back to a stomach, I reminded him that I almost defeated one of them, so we’re not so helpless. Peter still decided it’s not worth the risk. I let him be. If he doesn’t want to pull his head out of his ass, then be my guest.  
Scott agreed to come with me and Derek, but was wondering who’s the other girl.

\- What girl? - I didn’t know anything about the other girl.

\- The one locked in there with Boyd - Scott looked at me seriously.

They explained to me that Isaac saw an unknown girl in the vault and dead Erica in some room. Dead Erica… Derek still believed she was alive. I thought the Alpha can tell if someone from his pack is alive or not…

\- How did you know where to look for them? - Stiles asked me before we left the loft. Everyone looked at me.

\- Some time ago I was driving my car aimlessly at night and I felt something strange in that part of the city. I gave this tip to Isaac and that’s it - I explained briefly. 

\- You felt something strange? And that’s it? - Peter looked at me with disbelieve. I had a feeling he wanted to affront me. I would not let him do that.

\- Peter… - I started sweetly - since you prefer to just sit and do nothing, I assume your testicles indeed got back to your stomach - I smiled sardonically - So, unless I see you trying to help, do fuck off - I turned and walk through the door with smirking Derek shocked Scoot.

 

I agreed with Scott that it was weird the Alphas waited four full moons before making their move, but Derek also got a point that the kids needed to be rescued as fast as possible.  
I made room for Derek as he punched into the wall, and wondered what was waiting for us behind that wall. 

When he finally got into the vault I carefully followed him, Scott behind me. I saw a teen boy and recalling scent from clothes I was once given to find Erica and Boyd, I recognized him as Boyd. But there was this girl, I couldn’t see her yet, but I felt her. She didn’t smell like Erica. In fact, she smelled more like Derek and Peter…

The boy was angry and I could feel his wolf wanted blood. That was not good. Derek tried to talk to him, but I was not sure he was listening. Scott’s phone rang and I heard Stiles and Peter talking about gladiators and lions. Again, not good. They were supposed to kill us, not each other.  
The girl showed herself and I felt Derek recognized her. By the way they interacted I knew they knew themselves. Then, another person appeared. She was dark skinned and smelled similar to Deaton. She closed the line of mountain ash, Scott tried to stop her, but instead I stopped him and said I can deal with it. 

After that, the fight started. They were really vicious. I was helping Scott with Boyd when another person appeared. Was all city here now? I thought this bank was closed. It was Allison. Oh, her hair was shorter than when I saw her the last time (well, and the first time). Derek shouted to her to not break the seal, but when Boyd almost gutted Scott, she dispersed the mountain ash.

\- No! - I shouted, but even if I tried to stop Cora and Boyd it would be useless. They were gone. 

I huffed and got out of the vault, just in the middle of arguing between Derek, Allison and Scott. They should have known better that now was not the time for that.

\- Derek - I touched his shoulder and he looked at me. Allison looked at me also, like she noticed me just now. I send her a sad smile - Erica? - I directed it to Derek, but Allison answered.

\- I… She… She’s in a storage closet. It stink with ammonia - she showed in which direction with her finger.

Ammonia? I frowned, but Derek was already on his way and I followed him, leaving Scott with Allison.  
We found Erica. It really stank with ammonia, but that was nothing compared to the smell of Derek’s grief. Well, I more felt than smelled it, but it didn’t make it any better. He lifted her and held bridal-style.

\- Derek… - I didn’t know what to do, so I just touched his arm and tried to emit some soothing feelings. He gasped and looked at me sadly, then nodded. 

\- I’ll take care of her. You and Scott need to take care of Boyd and Cora - this time I nodded.

We separated. I told Scott to try to find Boyd, while I take Cora on me. I must say, it was a stupid idea. I didn’t know her scent too good, so I followed scents similar to Derek’s. But it was a dead end.  
I growled in frustration at myself. Then, I thought: maybe her house? So I ran to the Hale house. A least that was a good thought, because I spotted her before she ran away from me. Fuck! I was fast, ok. Really. But this hunger for moonlight, for blood was making them damn fast and vicious.  
I focused and tried to track her, but instead I heard someone’s voice. It was Derek. I moved closer and it came to me that he was talking on the phone with Scott.

\- Stick together, hmm? - I said as I approached him.

\- Any luck? - he turned to me and I felt his need for physical contact.

\- She was here… but got away - I frowned at my own failure - Come here - I opened my arms for him and hugged him. Tightly. 

He clutched to me and buried his body into mine. As much as it was possible for his big frame to melt into mine smaller one. His breath was ragged and he felt a lot of emotions.

\- She… I… - he tried to say something. I put my hand under his t-shirt and touched the bare skin on his lower back. It seemed to calm him some.

\- I… - I wanted to say know, but of course I don’t know. I don’t know how it is to think for six years that someone is dead and then suddenly that someone is alive and kicking, pun intended - I understand, Derek - he moved back a little, just enough to look into my eyes. I smiled sadly at him.

Scott joined us and we tried to trace Cora and Boyd. It occurred, they were again together. After some time I felt something weird.

\- Derek… - he looked at me concerned - Something is… off - his eyes widened.

\- Go home - he almost ordered me.

\- Are you serious? No - I glared at him and we were seconds from arguing when Scott interfered.

\- Guys. What’s going on?

\- She’s feeling ill.

\- That’s not that, Derek - I turned to Scott - I feel weird. Like something is in the air - I tried to explain it to him.

\- Like what? - Scott was laboring the point.

\- I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s something good - in that moment we heard a scream - Shit! - I ran in its direction. Derek and Scott right behind me.

We arrived in the middle of Cora and Isaac fighting. There was a girl. She was frightened. I talked to her while the rest was trying to take Cora down.

\- Get out of the woods as fast as you can. It’s not safe here - I could feel she was not injured, so I skipped questioning her about it and got to the point.

\- What? - I rolled my eyes. She was in shock and rather not communicative.

\- Shit - I murmured to the world. I left the girl were she was and anonymously called the police.

I found the guys and send a tired smile to Isaac as a greeting. He smiled back. Scott was on the phone with Stiles, who was talking about a kid killed in a public swimming pool.

\- Fuck this shit - I was getting irritated and it was never a good thing. I felt Derek’s fingers on my wrist, calming me a little. 

When Scott and Derek started out talk themselves about who’s fault the kid death is, I bursted.

\- Oh for fucks sake! It’s none of your fault. This Deucalion set this up and now he wants you to blame yourselves - haven’t they see that? I rose my brows at them.

After more debating, Scott decided to ask Chris Argent for help. That werewolf hunter? It might be a good idea, but without me. That man didn’t know me and I wanted it to stay like that (even despite the fact that Derek had some sort of agreement with him). I told them that. Asked Derek to drop me off somewhere in the city, while they were looking for the Argent and I had to almost force him to inform me about their next moves, because I did not want to be excluded from it. After some huffing and sour expressions he gave up and nodded. I squeezed his shoulder and said to Isaac: see you later.

 

After some time, I got a text from Derek, saying: high school, boiler room. Hmm, they wanted to lock the kids in there and wait for the moon to set? I was heading there, thinking.  
Why did they use the kids to try kill Derek and Scott? It’s an Alpha Pack, they are stronger than any of the werewolves here. Why wait all this time? Why just not simply kill them? They did this for fun? No, I don’t think so. Maybe they wanted something from us? Ugh, since when do I count myself as pack? I better stop thinking.

I reached the school. Right, and now what? How do I get in? I made a round around the building and found a small window open, just near the ground. It was small enough to be overlooked, but enough for me to fit. I slid through. Ok, now how do I get to that boiler room? I found a scheme of emergency exits, put two and two together and located the said room. I placed myself in the shadow and waited. I could hear doors being opened, shouts, growls, explosions? Was Argent using those exploding arrows, Stiles talked me about? But I could hear him (and it means - placed) somewhere else… 

\- Come and get us - it was Derek. He was near.

I concentrated and soon saw him and Scott running in my direction, after them Cora and Boyd. They caught the bait, they followed to the boiler room and I closed and secured the doors at the top of the stairs. I wanted to go in there so badly. I wanted to know if Derek was all right. But I knew I couldn’t. I was supposed to stay here and make sure Cora and Boyd didn’t make a circle and left the room. So I waited and listened.

When I felt Derek and Scott near the door, ready to exit that room, and no sign of the two teens I tensed and prepared to close the door for good after them. They did that and I bar the door. Both with Derek, we leaned on the doors when two werewolves banged on them. Finally, it stopped. 

\- Did that actually just work? - Scott asked with hope. I looked at Derek.

\- It worked - he said with disbelieve and placed himself in the corner. I breathed heavily - What are you hearing? - Scott was standing with his ear on the door.

\- Heartbeats - he said.

\- Both of them? - I could feel Derek was tired, physically and mentally. I didn’t like that.

\- Actually… Three of them - he said scared and confused.

\- Fuck! I knew it! - I stamped my foot. They both looked at me.

\- In the parking lot, there’s a red Toyota. Someone was in the school before we get here. And now that someone is in there - I placed my finger on the door. I was furious at myself for not noticing that person. For letting it slip past my senses. Derek moved me from the door - What are you doing?

\- Close the door behind me and keep it shut - I understood what he wanted to do and grabbed his arm. Not so lightly.

\- Derek - it was a warning growl. My fingers clutching on him. If it was a human’s arm there would be bruises, no mistake with that. 

\- You go in there alone, you’re either gonna kill them or they kill you - Scott said what I thought.

\- That’s why I’m going in alone - Derek said and I slapped him. His determination was replaced with shock for a moment. Scott’s eyes widened. 

\- Don’t you fucking try - I said with anger - We go in together - I wanted to beat that stupid idea out of him, but there was no time for that. 

I was standing on the last step, so I towered over him and I used that to my advantage. We had a staring contest.  
I knew why he wanted to do it alone. So no one get hurt, except maybe him. How could he think that no one cared about him? After all this deal with being mates. How could he think I would let him do this? He knew I wouldn’t. He saw that determination in my eyes. He was not alone. Not anymore.  
He hung his head. Huffed.

\- Ok - was all he said.

\- I’ll take care of that someone and you the rest, yes? - he just nodded and we got in. Scott closing the door behind us.

It was a teacher. A fucking teacher, who decided she’ll stay afterhours. She was older than me maybe by couple years. She looked at me terrified.

\- Hide behind that shelf - I ordered her and she followed blindly. 

I closed the door made of wire mesh - the only thing separating us from them, and stood facing those doors - me, the only thing separating her from them. I hopped she was in shock and wouldn’t remember how I looked like.

\- Wha… what’s happening? - she asked with breaking voice.

\- Quiet - I haven’t even turned to her. I was focused on listening. I wanted to know how was Derek. 

I heard growls, snarls and roars, but the last one… And then I felt it. I felt his resolve. His pain and his sadness. I clenched my fists and muttered a curse. I wanted to go there and stop them. Rip their arms from their joints. Smash their heads on the concrete floor. I wanted them bleed like Derek bled. I didn’t care they were just kids. They were hurting him. They were hurting my mate. 

But I couldn’t do anything. Because I had to make sure this teacher was safe. This slim and perfect woman, who now was slumped on the floor behind me and was shaking with horror. I, on the other hand was shaking with anger, with pain and with anticipation. As always in moments like this electricity was around me.

Finally, the sounds ended and silence fell on us. I thought my heart was going to rip open my chest, it was beating so hard. I took deep breaths to calm down, and focused. I could no longer feel anything from Cora or Boyd. No, they weren’t dead, I heard their slow breaths. I think they were unconscious. Derek was alive, too. I felt indescribable relief.

\- Wait here. I will check if it’s safe and take you out of here, ok? - I explained to her like to a little child, but in a definitely harsher tone. She just nodded.

I opened the door and followed Derek’s scent. When I saw him there, on his knees, bloodied, in torn clothes I… It took all my willpower not to cry and not to beat him to unconsciousness. He gasped like he just woken up from a haze. He looked at me, but he didn’t see me. I took his face in my hands and almost squeezed it. I was so mad at him and at the same time so glad that he was alive. I leaned in and kissed him gently. When we parted he was gasping and staring at me, but this time he was seeing me.

\- Don’t do that. Ever. Again - I warned him, my eyes hard. I heard footsteps behind me - Scott, Isaac take Cora and Boyd - I said as I helped Derek got up. He wanted to say something - I’ll take care of the teacher. Go home. I’ll be there soon - he was so exhausted he hadn’t strength to argue. I kissed his bloodied cheek and felt boys blushing. I rolled my eyes and shushed them to go.


	16. Chapter 16

I learned that the woman’s name was Jennifer and that she was an English teacher. Though she still felt disoriented about what happened at school she was a very polite person. She tried small talk with me, but I was quiet. I only asked her about directions to get her home. I gave her no explanation about what happened. When we were finally at her place, I got out, gave her the car keys and said:

\- Go home. You’re safe now - my voice was hard and unpleasant.

\- A…Are you sure? Because… - I rolled my eyes. Woman get out of my sight. I just turned from her, pulled the hood over my head and went to the nearest bus stop.

 

It was over a hour later, that I entered the loft.   
In the meantime, I got a call from Stiles, who told me his guesses about the body Lydia found at the pool, his dead friend Heather and missing girl - Emily. According to him they were human sacrifices, not victims of bloodthirsty Cora and Boyd. OMFG, if Stiles was right, then we had to deal not only with a pack of Alphas, but also with someone committing those murders. My head spin with all of this. I just wanted to go home, my bed and sleep.

Cora and Boyd lied on Derek’s bed. He was holding his sister’s hand and had the same absent look in his eyes. He was still in his bloodied and torn t-shirt. Isaac sit on the floor, on the other side of the bed, next to Boyd. He was biting his nails. 

\- How are they? - I asked him quietly.

\- Don’t know. Still unconscious, I guess - he shrugged.

I focused on those kids. Their breathing and heart rate was slow.

\- They’re sleeping… - he lifted his brows at me and I smiled a tired smile - Me and Derek can take the couch, but where will you sleep? - his mouth shaped in an O as he looked at me.

\- I… My bed is upstairs - he pointed the spiral steps - You can take it.

\- You sure? - I regarded him.

\- Yeah, yeah, totally.

\- Thanks - I paused - Where’s the bathroom? - yeah, I haven’t been in the bathroom yet and in Isaac’s room too, which was upstairs apparently. He pointed the big hole in the wall 

\- Oh. Try to get some sleep, Isaac - I touched his shoulder and motioned him the couch.

\- Yeah, I should. Probably - he scrambled from the floor.

Then I touched Derek’s shoulder. He looked at me. Gods, the blood dried and he looked like from a really scary horror movie. I breathed.

\- Come with me - he frowned, but followed me as I hold his hand. 

I felt Isaac’s eyes on us and when I looked at him he turned his gaze and blushed. I frowned, but didn’t care about it right now. What I cared about right now was Derek.  
As we stepped into the bathroom and I took in the surroundings, I started to act. Derek had a bathtub and a shower. I chose the tub. I turned the faucets and the water started running. I turned to him - he was leaning against the wall, he was exhausted. The wounds on his body were healing and some were even already healed.

\- Derek... - I said quietly - you need to wash - he nodded - I’ll help you with your clothes, ok? - again a nod - Can you say something?

\- Like what? - his voice was hoarse, but hearing it made me a little better.

\- This much is enough - I stroked his cheek and looked into his eyes, searching. 

He understood that I was looking for him. That I wanted to be sure, that this is Derek I know. That mine Derek didn’t die there. He touched my hand and kissed my pulse point. I breathed.

\- I’m still here… - he whispered to my ear and shivers run down my spine.

\- But you had this stupid idea - I whispered angry and accusingly.

\- I’m sorry - he looked at me pleadingly. He stroked my wrist all of the time, but I jerked my hand and placed both of them on his cheeks.

\- Do you understand now, why I told you not to do that ever again? - I said with force and desperation.

\- Yes - he answered with the same force. I looked into his eyes couple seconds more and then pulled him for a kiss. 

I clashed our mouths together in a desperate need for him. He tasted like always, sweet and raw - all at the same time. I moaned and let myself be forgotten in that kiss. We stopped only because of desperate need for air.   
And because of water, as it occurred. 

\- The tub is full - Derek informed me. I turned the water off and he started undressing. When he reached his belt I said:

\- Not that I’m a prude, but I can leave - I lifted my eyebrow.

\- You’ve seen me naked.

\- Yeah, and we planned to see each other naked tonight… yesterday, in fact - he frowned.

\- I’m sorry - he bowed his head.

\- For what? - I didn’t understand.

\- For… I… - he felt guilty.

\- Are you apologizing for the fact that we didn’t have sex, because we tried to save your sister, friend and innocent people? - his logic was sometimes very complicated - Derek, there will be another full moon to claim each other.

\- You say it like we did something heroic back there - he said with a sour face and then returned to undressing himself. I snorted.

\- That was not the point. The point was: don’t apologize for things you don’t have control over - I looked into his eyes, so he knew I meant it. He nodded.

He stood there only in his boxer briefs and though there was blood on him, my lady parts jumped. It was ridiculous thinking about how perfectly sculpted his body was, when only a hour ago he was on the edge. 

\- I should go… - he stepped in my way. His perfect chest right before my eyes.

\- Stay... I want you to stay. You can even... - he looked at the tub - If you want? - I bit my lip.

\- If I get into that tub with you, it will end in me screaming your name - he lifted his brow - and Isaac is behind that wall - I pointed with my finger - How red do you think he will be after that, knowing he blushes at the sight of us just holding hands? - I lifted both my brows.

\- You would scream my name? - I rolled my eyes.

\- Just get in that damn tub - I turned. There was light smile on my lips.

I took off my hoodie and sit on the toilet. Funny, the lid was down, you don’t see that often when a man is living under the roof.   
Derek sighed when he finally placed himself in the bathtub. I smiled. I felt him relax. I could relax too.   
I closed my eyes and was glad the atmosphere had loosened. I listened to the water splashing as Derek washed himself. It calmed me. Water and the sounds it made always made me calm. He smelled so good. Clean and…

\- What’s that smell? - I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me, confused. He was holding a bottle of shower gel. I took it from him and sniffed - Ahh, so that’s that smell. Come, I’ll wash your hair - he looked at me perplexed and sad at the same time - What? - did I just ruined the relaxed atmosphere…

\- The last time someone washed my hair… it was Laura… in primary school…

I didn’t know how to react. He wasn’t angry or in pain at the thought of Laura as he used to be. I tentatively placed my hand at the base of his neck and stroked him there with my thumb.

\- I’m sorry - I whispered to his ear.

\- Don’t apologize for things you don’t have control over - he used my words.

\- But I brought back the memory of her - I felt bad.

\- You couldn’t knew, Agnes - there was a plea in his eyes to end this discussion.

\- Ok - he turned and waited for me to do what I wanted. 

It felt weird and pleasant at the same time, washing his hair. The last time I did that to someone was couple years ago, to my cousins. And when someone washed my hair? Well, except for the hairdresser... It was my mother, also in primary school.  
There was something intimate in it. Like really, actually showing that you are caring about someone. It was a new feeling for me. And honestly? It didn’t scare me.

I massaged his scalp for the last time, his hair sliding between my fingers. I then rinsed the lather from his hair, face, neck, shoulders. I couldn’t resist not to touch him. It was stronger than me. And in fact, I felt he didn’t mind that. I gave him back the shower handset and looked for some towels. I found them and placed on the toilet lid.

\- In what do you sleep? - I asked as he got out from the tub.

\- Sweatpants.

\- Where are they?

\- I’m not going to sleep - aha, we were going to argue again.

\- And why is that? - I turned to him and crossed my arms. I felt like talking to a child. I thought I’m past that with Derek.

\- Cora and Boyd - I huffed.

\- They are worn out, Derek. They are sleeping now and will sleep for long hours. Even I know that. And I also know, that you need to heal and rest.

\- Don’t act like my mother - he said almost accusingly.

\- I act like your mate - I retorted and that seemed to cut further discussion.

\- My sweatpants are here - he said after a pause and pulled them out from a place I haven’t noticed.

\- We could have saved ourselves that discussion - I said as I got to the sink to wash my face. I was sure he made a face behind my back, exactly as kids do.

We left the bathroom and got upstairs. Isaac sprawled on the sofa, trying to accommodate his long limbs to too short furniture. His room was… it was just a bed and a dresser. Nothing more. It surprised me, but after a second thought, no, not so much.

Derek sat on the bed and gave me illusion of privacy while I was undressing. I didn’t need it. I wasn’t a prude and he saw me naked that night with Stiles. But I appreciated the gesture. 

\- Ok - I said a little worried. I was in my panties and my top. My breasts free of bra. 

\- What’s wrong? - I lifted my eyebrow. I didn’t know he would sense my hesitation.

\- It’s been years since I slept like that with someone. Just sleep - I said after a pause.

\- I can take the floor.

\- Don’t be stupid - that pushed me - Get in - I said as I pulled the comforter and laid down. 

I felt the mattress lower under his weight and it became hot. Not only because of Derek’s warm body, but because I was getting all warmed up. I felt butterflies... Oh, forget them, I’m too old for that.

\- Agnes… - he asked just inches from me.

\- I’m fine. I just need to get used to this - I looked at him. He was on his elbow, observing me. 

I turned my back to him, found his hand and placed it on my stomach, pulling him closer to me. I hopped he got that I wanted him to spoon me.   
After some time filled with moving and hisses (mine when he pulled my hair and his when I put my foot in his groin, don’t ask) we finally made ourselves comfortable. His face was in my hair, my head under his chin, his arm somewhere between the pillow and my head. His chest glued to my back, his hand on my stomach, my bottom to his groin, my legs parallel to his in my embryo position.

He was so warm and though he was the one wounded, he offered protection. I laced my fingers with his on my belly. We felt the same in that particular moment. We both felt those butterflies in our stomach. This weird feeling when you get noticed for the first time by someone you like. When you realize it’s more than like. When you hope it’s more than like. And when you hope it will last…  
I hated that feeling, because it was always followed by disappointment and pain…

I gasped. Derek tightened his hold on me. He kissed my head and “shh” me.  
His warmth, his scent, his touch, it lulled me to sleep.

 

***

 

I woke up startled. I was in an unknown place, surrounded by unknown things. I gathered my thoughts and remembered what happened last night. 

\- Derek? - I said, not moving an inch.

\- I’m here - his gentle voice was a bliss. I sighed relieved.

I turned. He was lying on his back in some distance from me, hand under his head. He was observing me thoroughly. He had this worried expression on his face. I frowned.

\- Is everything ok? - I asked getting worried too.

\- Are you ok? - I didn’t like being answered with a question, but let it be for now.

\- Yeah, why? - I moved little closer to him and leaned on my elbow.

\- You were tossing and turning in your sleep so I thought… you were uncomfortable - "with me", he hasn’t said it, but I knew.

\- Derek… - I tentatively placed my palm on his shoulder - it was not because of you. I always toss and turn in my sleep - I smiled a little at him - And… if you, um smelled some emotions on me, some maybe opposite to others, remember that it was my decision to stay, ok? - I was looking into his pale eyes all of the time. He nodded - As I told you before, this mate thing is new to me as it is to you, but I’m getting used to it. And I’m definitely as confused as you about everything that is happening in “the werewolf world” - I flailed my free hand.

\- Yeah… - he placed his hand on mine and stroked it with his thumb.

\- How are they? - I motioned downstairs, to Cora and Boyd.

\- Still sleeping - I nodded - Isaac’s gone.

\- What do you mean gone? - I popped up to sitting position, worried.

\- Went out. He’ll be back - he explained calmly. I let out a breath.

\- Don’t scare me like that - I punched his arm lightly. Corners of his mouth turned up. 

He moved his palm along my arm and pulled me gently towards him. His head lifting, my bowing, our eyes locked on each others. The kiss was slow, gentle, filled with emotions unknown to me… but I pushed it aside and savored the kiss. We didn’t fight for dominance, we just kissed, gave that sweet pleasure to each other. I cradled Derek’s face in my hands as he cradled my shoulders in his.   
I felt light pressure on them and understood he wanted me to lay down. I did. Maybe I was still under yesterday’s events or I started to trust him as a man. I didn’t know. But I laid and let him do what he wanted.

He broke the kiss and regarded me.

\- Morning breath? - I frowned but had smile on my lips.

\- I don’t care about it - he leaned and kissed me again.

He towered over me, but it was not an unwelcomed presence. Our bodies weren’t touching too much. He left me room. I was thankful he did that. He stroked my cheek as we still kissed, while his other hand was next to my head, supporting his weight. My hand stroked his arm, his chest, his cheek. The other one in his hair, petting, making them more disheveled.

Then he kissed my chin, jaw and that place right under the ear. I murmured. His beard not scratching, just leaving unfamiliar feeling on my skin. When his lips lingered on my neck, my pulse quickened and when I felt his hand sliding under the hem of my top, I started to breathe heavy.  
Jesus Christ! I felt like fifteen again. With my first boyfriend. Like every time he touched me it made my skin tingle and send shivers all over my body. Like I had those fucking butterflies in my stomach. Like seeing him every time made my knees weak. Like I was in love again. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be weak again.

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him a little.

\- I’m sorry Derek, I… - my chest was rising and falling very fast. He was looking at me with sad eyes, but I knew he himself wasn’t sad. He was sad because of my hurt.

\- It’s ok - he said calmly. It was good to see him calm - We’ll do it by small steps - I nodded and he very cautiously kissed my cheek. I smiled.

\- You’re healed - I said as I regarded his chest. He nodded.

\- Are you hungry?

\- Famished - I haven’t noticed that up until he asked.

\- Is spaghetti ok? - he asked as he got out of bed. I stared at him - What?

\- You being domestic is so out of place - he rolled his eyes.

\- You sound like Stiles - he was already on the stairs.

\- But I like you being domestic… - I said to the empty room and knew he could hear me.

I got dressed. Get down and used the bathroom. When I returned, a plate of hot pasta, meat and tomatoes was waiting for me. I smiled in appreciation. Except my mom and Martin, no one cooks for me. 

\- Where’s Kala? - I asked between the bites.

\- She hasn’t showed herself for two days - I lifted my brows - I left her food outside. Haven’t been eaten - I frowned.

I wanted to do the dishes after we ate, but Derek won’t let me, so I went looking for Kala. After some calling she finally came. She looked good. She was probably hunting, that’s why she was absent. I took her into my arms and petted. Oh, I missed her.  
We (me and Kala) made ourselves comfortable on the couch, while Derek was… somewhere in the loft. It was so quiet here. At first, it made me uneasy, because I don’t like silence. I love music, so there’s always something playing wherever I am. But thinking about it more, it was Derek’s place so it had to be quiet, just like him.

Speaking of him, he finally came from wherever he was and sat next to me. He petted Kala some and she started to purr. I smiled. I liked that he was getting along with her.  
When I asked him, if we should maybe wash the kids or check their wounds, he shook his head and said it is better to leave them be and just keep an eye on them.

\- Can I have a tea? Or something like that - I asked when it became clear how we are going to spent next hours - I would get it myself, but you know, I have the cat - he frowned at me, haven’t understood what cat has to do with it - In my house there’s a rule: if you have the cat, you are untouchable - I grinned.

\- Mmm. I’m starting to understand why… - he just shook his head and headed to the so called kitchen.

He returned with two mugs. One with the tea, second with coffee. I thanked him and couldn’t resist to say:

\- All black, no sugar? - he looked at me weirdly.

\- And how yours would be?

\- Quite the opposite. Milk and sugar.

After that, I told Derek about Stiles’ findings. There was not much we could do. Practically nothing. I also told him about that teacher. He said he will see how is she on Monday.  
We spend the rest of the day reading. I was lying on the couch, my legs on Derek’s tights, cat in my abdomen. It felt nice. It felt good just being together, doing simple things like sitting or reading.

I don’t know how much time passed when Isaac stood in the door. He blushed as he saw us. Oh for god’s sake, I will have to talk to him about it, because it was getting on my nerves. As if on cue, Cora and Boyd started waking up.  
Derek and Isaac moved to the bed in an instant, while I stayed exactly where I was and observed. 

The kids were obviously confused, but they felt relieved as they were no longer in that vault, held by alphas, or bloodthirsty killing machines. Isaac smiled at Boyd as it was evident he was happy to see his friend after four months.   
Derek and Cora had more difficult and tensed reunion. They haven’t seen each other for seven years. Each thought they were dead. I didn’t know how old is she, but I assumed she was a kid when she saw Derek the last time, and he was somewhere her age, when the fire happened. So, she was a kid and now she’s a young woman. Derek was a teenager and now he is a man. A lot happened, a lot changed. They changed. For sure it will be difficult for them now, but they are siblings, right? So that should make it easier. I hopped.

I heard Derek telling Isaac to take Boyd home. Making as little noise and movements as I could, I got up from the couch and came closer to the bed. Cora and Boyd noticed me only then. I smiled a soft smile and placed my hand on Derek’s shoulder. He looked at me questioningly.

\- I should go - I said calmly - Your sister needs you now - he nodded - I’ll help Isaac. Take care - I squeezed his shoulder as a goodbye and smiled to Cora.

I put on my jacket and motioned the two boys to come with me.

 

***

 

After all that happened it was good to feel normal again. Even for only couple of hours.  
I met with my friend. She was one of my three best friends back from high school. One, with whom I sat in one desk for four years, was now married and had two and a half year old daughter, second was deeply infatuated and she and her boyfriend did everything together (watching them made me want to throw up), the third one lived nearby my apartment and was recovering after a break up (that’s my girl!) with a boyfriend who used her for long years.

I visited the third one - Anna. We watched a move and drank wine. We talked about everything. Our studies (she was also a PhD), apartments, books, movies, our friends and some about men. She was getting better after this break up and finally understood there are other men, better than her ex. I encouraged her to enjoy life and to stop being so shy. Honestly, she was like Isaac, so shy and insecure.  
I haven’t told her about Derek. Not because I’m ashamed of him, how could I? But because it will take me some time to get used to him, more to decide to call it a relationship, and even more to say about it to someone, anyone. Because when I say it to this someone, he will want to meet Derek, and I’m not ready for that yet. I’m not ready for anything. So, no. For now it’s just me and Derek. That’s it, end of the line.

 

***

 

I was reading my notes from economy and tried to at least remember quarter of it. Gods, I hated economy. I so fucking hated it. They should drop that exam, because with money we get from the university you had to be very economic person to make ends meet every month.

Stiles called to tell me about next missing kid. Oh my god. Economy seemed the tiniest problem now. We discussed it, but decided we didn’t know too much.   
During my talk with Stiles a thought popped into my mind. I asked him about Allison’s address and when he asked me what do I need it for, I sweetly get rid of him. He didn’t need to know about my reasons. Even Allison didn’t need to know that.

I was getting depressed and irritated again. And I haven’t felt like that for about two weeks now. Since I bit Derek that night, when he submitted. I felt calmer somehow. It was ridiculous at one point, because from what I knew that’s how werewolves felt when they had claimed their mate. Maybe it applied to werecats to? I didn’t know. All my knowledge about werecats was based on information about actual cats: tigers, lions, panthers. Maybe werecat females also felt the need to claim their mate? Oh, great. I just added to the pile of unanswered philosophical questions of mankind one more, about supernatural. Just smashing.

 

I didn’t know if I meet her, but I had to at least try. I sat on the stairs of a building opposite to the address Stiles gave me and waited. I played with my phone, exploring its functions and let the time pass. After more than half an hour, I noticed her. She parked her car and was about to move to the front door when I spoke:

\- Hello Allison - I said calmly - I like your hair, it’s more feminine - I smiled. She looked at me surprised.

\- What do you want? - she asked with apparent dislike. I smiled sardonically.

\- To talk - I leaned on her car.

\- Did Derek send you? - she raised her chin like she was trying to show me she’s strong and not afraid of me. Well, it was true, but I haven’t came here for a strength show off. Although, her comment irritated me.

\- I’m not a letter, Allison - I looked hard into her eyes - I cannot be sent - that mitigated her - Do you remember, when we first met you said you will help, because they are your friends? - she just nodded - I don’t think it’s only because of that - I smiled slyly - It’s also because you feel the need to act. Standing beside and doing nothing, it’s just not you, isn’t it?

\- Is there a point? - she asked bored, but I felt she was intrigued.

\- Oh yes, there is - I assured her - I think you should act more, but from the distance, with your bow and arrows, as you had in the past, as you maybe had at the school two nights ago… - I glanced at her. Her heart skipped.

\- I don’t know what you’re talking about - I smirked.

\- You forgot that I know when you’re lying, Allison - I leaned towards her and though she was the taller one, now she felt definitely smaller - And one more thing - I said more friendly - You should keep an eye on Lydia, more closely. She needs protection and she won’t suspect anything, if it’s you - I watched and felt her closely to know if she’s going to rebel or follow my leads.

\- Why does she need protection? Is she in danger? - she was truly worried for her friend.

\- Though she doesn’t like it and won’t ever admit it, she’s connected to what’s happened in this town, and I’m sure what’s going to happen - I said seriously - And since her most dangerous weapon is the heel of her six inch stilettos… - she laughed - You understand? - she became serious again and nodded. Determination maturing her face. I regarded her seconds more and then smiled - Goodnight, Allison - with that, I turned and walked away to my car parked around the corner.

\- Goodnight - she whispered into the night, a little surprised.


	17. Chapter 17

I was at work, dealing with students, paperwork and my supervisor, who is generally the calmest person I met, but sometimes he can be an enormous pain in the ass (like today).   
Suddenly, I felt pain in the middle of my back. I gasped loudly and clutched the edge of my desk. The pain was overwhelming. I felt terror.   
At first, I thought I was having a heart attack, but decided I’m too young for that and despite of what you might think, I do have a healthy lifestyle, practically always have. My supervisor looked at me frightened and repeated over and over “Miss Agnes”. He gave me water and I drank it, thinking what was going on. My subconscious suggested only one thought: Derek. Or maybe it was my Feline. 

My eyes went wide and I jumped out of my chair. Shut down my computer, collected my things, ignored questions like: "Are you all right?", "What is going on?", threw “I have to go” and was gone.

I drove like Satan himself was rushing me, it’s good I decided to use the car to get to work today. I jumped out of it and taking two steps at a time, I finally stood in the loft’s threshold. I was breathing heavy, not only from the run or anxiety as I saw Derek bloodied again, but also from rage I felt as I saw those three Alphas there. I wanted to roar, to rip their throats out, to make holes in their bodies, as they did to Derek.   
But I did nothing like that. I pushed those wants aside and calculated. Derek was hurt, Cora was still weak and I could take down only one Alpha at a time. Though my Feline was begging for a fight, I knew I had to play it cool. Stay cool. And stay focused.

I heard one of the men talking before:

\- I am the Alpha of alphas. I am the apex of apex predators! I am death destroyer of worlds! I am the demon-wolf! - I believe he was the leader, Derek once told me about, as I felt his pack mates’ respect for him, not mentioning Cora, who slumped on the floor terrified - Hate it when that happens - he said taking off his broken sunglasses and the woman pulled out the pipe from Derek’s back. I felt a little relieved. But only a little.

\- Did the mirror broke too when you were rehearsing that speech? - I said in strong voice, but with a hint of tease. 

All three looked at me. I raised my chin, but not to challenge them. To show them I will stand my ground. I heard Derek mutter “No”. I ignored it. This Deucalion regarded me carefully.

\- What such a lovely lady is doing here? - he said with politeness of a mannered man, or a rapist luring his victim.

\- I am not a lady - yes, I was wearing a skirt and that’s where my ladylike-ness ended - And you will soon find out about it - I said pointing every word. The atmosphere was very tense, but I tried, inch by inch, to move closer to Cora. She was the most vulnerable here.

\- Is that a threat? - he almost snorted.

\- It’s a statement - I retorted and he… he fucking smiled. I killed a growl inside me.

\- Let me just kill her - the woman said menacingly. Deucalion lifted his hand.

\- You have others, Kali - I squinted at him - I like her.

\- Well, the feeling is not mutual - I smiled sardonically and moved a few more inches.

\- Oh, but I do believe we have something in common…

\- An accent. And that’s the first and last thing we have in common - why won’t he just leave already?

\- The rare beast inside us - he continued like I haven’t just spoken - In fact, if you were a werewolf I would gladly invite you to join us - he smiled again. And I squinted, again, with disgust.

\- Like you just invited Derek? - my anger was slipping from my grip.

\- He just needed some… encouragement - he said it like making a hole in man’s back was as normal as covering your morning toast with butter. 

I took a deep breath. I felt I could lose my composure any second as I shook with rage. Electricity sparkling around me. This time he moved. Very slowly and very predator-like. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was blind.

\- Leave - I said in a low voice when he stood in front of me.

\- Are you his… - he left the question hanging in the air.

\- Yes, I am his mate - I confessed - Now take your hellhounds and be gone - he regarded me some more and smiled. Then turned, reached out for that Kali woman and took her arm, just like a blind man. 

\- I’m looking forward to our next meeting - he said not looking at me. I hold my tongue.

Cora ran to Derek as I watched the Alpha's backs moving away. Only when I was sure they were gone I turned to the two siblings. Derek laid in a pool of his own blood and Cora didn’t know what to do. His face was pained, from many reasons.

\- Cora, close the door and bring a bucket of water and a towel - she looked at me shocked - Now! - that made her moving. I kneeled beside Derek. Placed my bag and jacket on the floor nearby.

\- You shouldn’t… - he spat with blood.

\- Shut up, Derek or I will gag you - I said harshly. I shouldn’t talk to them like that. It was not them I was mad at.

I ripped his top and saw the hole. I could see through it. I growled. I used the ruined jersey to stop the blood, because it was still oozing. I licked up his lips. It reminded me of that time when I shifted to my Feline for the first time, kicked his ass and licked blood from his face. But now he was definitely worse. I kissed the corner of his mouth, then his cheek. I rubbed my nose in his face, giving and taking comfort.

A sound of Cora placing the bucket on the floor ended that little tenderness. 

\- Thank you - I said more calmer, but it hadn’t eased her. I threw the green material away and took the towel. Wetted it and started to clean his chest and back.

\- Is he gonna be ok? - she asked worried. I looked at her.

\- Of course - I answered with confidence. I tried to smile at her, but I think I haven’t succeeded - Bring another one, will you? - I motioned the towel. She nodded and went to the bathroom.

I looked closely at Derek’s wound. It seemed the blood stopped flowing and he finally started healing.

\- Is it healing? - I asked. He just nodded - Good - I sighed. I was stroking his arm absentmindedly. Cora noticed it.

\- What now? - she asked as she stood beside us.

\- Now, we put him to bed. Help me - she slung the towel over her shoulder and grabbed Derek from one side, me supporting the other one. He groaned and step by little step we made it to the bed.

I took the towel from Cora and placed it on the bed, then we gently placed Derek on it. I took off his shoes and looked around for a blanket, but there of course was none. He was lying on it. I let it be. Cora was still standing next to the bed. What was with her?

I asked her to bring water for Derek to drink. She frowned when I took the sip and then blushed when I cradled his head in my hands and put my lips on his to drink him like that. We repeated that until he shook his head. I stroked his hair and kissed one of his high cheek bones. I didn’t care Cora was watching. I had to do it. For me, and for him.   
He was weak and still in pain. I told Cora to stay with him, on the bed. I hopped he will sleep at least couple of hours.

Making as less noise as I could, I wiped the floor. It was awful. The blood was sticky and had this metallic smell I hated. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t faint at the sight of blood. It was awful, because it was Derek’s blood, because that meant he was wounded…  
I haven’t noticed when my back stopped hurt. Was it when I got here or the same time Kali pulled the pipe (which I get rid of) out of Derek? I couldn’t tell. But it was very puzzling.

I leaned on the wall and watched them. Derek was finally drifting to sleep, Cora observing him with her hand on his shoulder and still worried eyes. I believe the Alphas scared the shit out of her. I sighed. The Alphas…

I moved to retrieve my phone from my bag. Missed call from Stiles. Great. I showed her with my hands that I’m going to leave to make a call. She nodded. I got down two floors and sit on the stairs. That should be enough for Derek not to hear. I dialed Stiles. He told me about what happened today. And as it occurred, a lot happened. They found a dead body of a teenager - Kyle. Another sacrifice, this time warriors. He said two of the school teachers are missing and that they will be next sacrifices.   
I leaned on the wall. This was too much. After what happened with Derek today… hearing about more deaths… I felt like one of that clocks on Dali’s paintings. Or a ball without the air inside. Crumpled, useless, wasted, without any energy.

I got my ass back to the loft and sit on the bench/nightstand next to the bed. Elbows on my thighs, head in my palms. Cora must have smelled my tiredness, because she got up and motioned me to lay down next to Derek. I thanked her with a tired smile and mouthed “Don’t go anywhere”. She nodded and placed herself on the sofa.  
The spot she vacated was nicely warm and the bed smelled with Derek. I placed my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest, cautious not to touch the wound. Still sleeping, he turned his head toward me and placed his hand on mine. I don’t know how he knew it was me, but he knew. I smiled and purred.

When I woke up it was dark outside and the rain was pouring. I didn’t know I fall asleep in the first place. Next to me, instead of Derek was Kala. I scratched her behind the ear and my stomach decided to rumble in that particular moment. It at least helped me locate the Hales as I noticed them staring at me from the sofa. I grinned for a moment and then joined them, sitting on the coffee table.

\- Are you healed? - I asked Derek as I rubbed my eyes. He nodded - Show me - he rolled his eyes, but pulled up his t-shirt. I touched his chest, like I had to make sure there’s no hole under the skin. My fingers lingered a little longer and I looked into his eyes.

\- Why did you come? - he asked quite calmly, but I could feel his disapproval - Why did you tell him? - yes, it was disapproval, and accusation now. I stopped touching him.

\- I haven’t told him anything, Derek, he already knew. But you haven’t noticed that, because you were drowning in a pool of your own blood - my heart clenched at the memory of that - And I came because I felt it when that bitch pierced you with that fucking pipe - I know I should mind my tongue because of Cora, but I couldn’t, I was angered. His eyes went wide - I was at work and had felt it. It’s about ten kilometers distance, Derek. Ten. Fucking. Kilometers - he started to understand what it meant.

Silence fell. Everyone was in his own thoughts. Derek walked back and forth. I felt confusion coming off from Cora. I face-palmed myself.

\- Like I said, I’m no lady - she looked at me puzzled - I’m Agnes - I reached out my hand - As you heard, I’m your brother’s mate and as you probably smelled, I’m a werecat - I wiggled my brows and she squeezed my hand.

\- Cora. I thought the smell was because of the cat?

\- Both probably - I smiled and she returned it - You hungry?

\- Yeah… - she smiled shyly.

\- There’s a Chinese place two blocks away. What do you want?

\- Beef? - she squinted. I nodded.

\- You? - I asked Derek.

\- Not hungry - he answered not looking at me.

\- Of course you’re not… - I shook my head and huffed.

\- You shouldn’t have come… - he said. I thought we were past that discussion.

\- I had to come - I emphasized - Do you remember when you said the urge to have me is too strong? - he nodded - It was like that. The urge to come here, to you, was too strong.

\- But still…

\- For fucks sake, Derek what’s wrong with you?! - I shoot up from my spot.

\- They could have killed you! - he let loose his brakes and shouted in my face.

\- They could have killed you! - I emphasized. He shook his head.

\- No. He has a plan. He wants me to kill one of my own and he will use everyone to make me do it - sense of his words sank slowly into me.

\- You think I’m a burden to you… - I backed few steps. He’s face was angered, but I felt that inside he was pained - After all I said to you, after I showed you I’m strong, after all that happened, you still think I’m weak? - my voice almost broke.

\- I’m weak… Because of you - he admitted quietly. I felt like he smashed me with a hammer in the head. My eyes became wet. I will not cry. No. I refuse.

\- I need to leave… - I grabbed my jacket and my bag. Pain and anger fueled my moves.

\- I’ll go with you - I heard Cora behind me.

\- Stay - I threw over my shoulder, glanced at Derek and was gone.

How could he!? How the fuck could he do that to me? After all the effort he put in me accepting him, now he was pushing me away? I thought we will deal with everything that is coming together. That this is what mates do. That we will give strength to each other and tend to our wounds if someone hurts us. I never thought about it as being a weakness. A weakness you try to get rid of. You reject. You ignore…

I started to hyperventilate. My heart hammering in my chest. My head dizzy from too much oxygen. I leaned on the wall of some building. I wanted to throw up, if only there was something in my stomach.  
Didn’t he understand that I placed my heart on his palm? That it was vulnerable? That he could crush it as any other man did? That I didn’t want him to be as any other man?  
I placed my forehead on my hand. Rain and chill forgotten. Don’t cry because of a guy. Not again. You’re stronger than that. You know that. I steadied my breaths. My resolve slowly calming me down. 

I rummaged through my bag and found my MP3 player. I put the earphones on and pushed play. My head was filled with delight voice of Trent Reznor. In the last two years his music always accompanied me in the crappiest moments of my life. It helped me to cope, and brought me back from my dark places. The song switched to The Wretched and oh, how accurate this song was…

I finally dragged myself to the restaurant. Made an order and ate alone. I needed to be alone right now. I took the food for Cora and Derek. Yeah, I might be mad at him, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to starve. And headed back to the loft.

I was climbing the stairs when suddenly Isaac appeared in front of me with a duffel bag in his hand. I haven’t hear him coming, I still had earphones of my MP3 in my ears. I pulled them out.

\- Whoa, what’s going on? - I stopped him, placing my hand on his arm. He was sad, very sad and disappointed and confused. He looked like he was going to cry - What happened?

\- Derek kicked me out - my eyes almost fell out of their sockets. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish taken from the water.

\- Idiot - I muttered - Do you have a place to go? - He shook his head. I would offer him my room, but it was definitely too small for the two of us. I started thinking - Scoot. Go to Scoot, ok? - he nodded and I squeezed his arm as a goodbye.

\- Have you completely lost your mind?! - I roared at Derek as I entered the loft - Have all your sense flow out of you with your blood and I poured it to the drain as I cleaned it? - that was me, no sugarcoating. He was leaning on the desk, back to the window and breathing heavy.

\- What was I supposed to do?! - he roared back.

\- Take care of him?!

\- I’ve been doing that for past months - he said do the desk.

\- And you think that’s enough? You can’t just drop it like that! He’s not a dog, Derek. He’s a kid! An orphan - my anger and pain rose. I felt somewhere to my right Cora felt guilty. Derek just clenched his jaw tighter. 

\- He will manage - that’s all he said. I couldn’t believe he was so heartless.

\- And what? You think I’ll manage too, after you rejected me? - his face was pained as he looked directly at me - Pushing people away is not a solution, Derek - there was hurt in me.

\- What if it’s a way to keep them safe - I started to understand his reasoning, but I still hated it. We looked each other in the eye.

\- This decision will kick you in the ass. Hard - I placed the package with food on the floor, turned and walked away.

 

***

 

It was two days later, when my phone rang. I searched it under tons of papers - notes and books. I had my economy exam in two days. It was one of the three exams you took at the end of your PhD studies, so it was important.  
I asked Stiles not to call me unless it’s a life of death situation. I knew he needed help with finding out who that Darach was, but I needed those couple of days to study. This exam was, in its own way, life or death thing for me.

I looked at the screen. It wasn’t Stiles, it was Derek. I huffed. I haven’t seen or contacted him since that fight about kicking Isaac out. I was still angry at him, but if he called then it had to be important.

\- Yes? - I tried to made my voice as neutral as possible.

\- Can we talk? - he used the same tactic as me.

\- Ok - if Derek wanted to talk it meant he was opened to suggestions. It usually was a good thing.

\- Can I come in? - oh, he wanted to talk face to face?

\- Where are you?

\- Outside. At your door - I raised my brows.

\- Ok - I ended the phone call and opened the door for him.

He felt hesitant, uncertain and humble. Derek Hale feeling humble was something completely out of place. And he held a box of pizza in his hands. Something was definitely wrong. When I asked him about the food, he said simply: I thought, maybe you was hungry. I raised my brows at that. You know the saying “The way to a man's heart is through his stomach”? Well, not only to a man’s, to mine too. 

I took the food to the kitchen and prepared two plates. He just stood in the doorway, observing me. It wasn’t like he was evaluating me or searching for something. He was just looking. When I asked if Coke is ok for him to drink he just nodded, so I took the glass, gave it to him along with his plate, took mine and motioned to go to my room.

My room, well it was a battlefield. The papers on my unmade bed, leftovers from yesterday’s dinner, today’s breakfast on my desk… My room reflected my condition. I was in my pajama. Not Hello Kitty, but this one also had a cat at the front of it. My hair in a messy bun and I knew I had circles under my eyes from going to sleep at weird hours. 5 a.m. yesterday, today in fact, for example. Yeah, well that happened when I was into something. I focused on that something and other things like eating or sleeping didn’t matter too much.

I made room for Derek to sit on my bed and we ate in silence. I should maybe feel ashamed for how my room or I myself looked, but I didn’t care. I knew Derek wouldn’t judge me.  
Although that, the air between us was tense. I sat with my back to the wall, sipped Coke and regarded him.

\- So, the food was a bribe for me not to kick you out too fast? - I said calmly.

\- Only if it worked - he said stone faced.

\- You’re still here - I pointed.

\- You still can kick me out - I smirked.

\- True - I nodded my head.

After that, it was silence again. I have made the first step to start the conversation. Now it was Derek’s move. I tried not to focus on him. Not to feel him. I gave him time to say what he wanted to say.

\- I’m sorry - he said to his hands in a quiet and ashamed voice. I lifted my brow - I don’t want to argue with you anymore - he looked at me, pain and honesty filled his eyes.

\- I don’t want to argue with you either - I also said quietly - And I’m not the smartest person in the world, but some of your decisions are just stupid, Derek - I honestly pointed without anger. He wanted to say something, but stopped himself. It seemed like my words were sinking into him.

\- Ok - he said slowly. They sank. 

\- Come here - I patted the spot beside me.

He sat with his back to the wall. One leg bended in his knee, second lying flat on the bed. He put his hands on his thighs, our arms touching. Ehh, it was good to have this big guy next to me. His warmth, his scent. When we weren’t fighting, he calmed me. I liked being near him… But then I remembered he rejected me and my mood changed.

\- What are you sorry for? - I asked slightly turning my head to him. He stared at me - “Flowers and chocolates” won’t do, Derek - I said firmly, but my eyes were soft.

After that he finally understood that this has to be a serious and constructive conversation, with conclusions. Conclusions, he has to use in his further actions.  
First we talked about Isaac. He said that he’s not sorry for kicking him out, because if Alphas come to his loft again there will be less people that might get hurt. Also admitted that if he could, he would sent everybody away, to a different cities. If it only made them safe, he would do it without a blink of an eye. Well, I told him that he definitely can’t do that. And that it was good he took Isaac under his roof and provided livelihoods during those couple of months. I made him realize that Isaac may now hold a grunge against him, and since he needs every set of claws to defend against the Alphas, this was not good. 

And repeated that pushing people away won’t do him any good. That he has to treat them not as burdens, but as allies. Use their abilities. Work together. I pointed that wolves do that. Every wolf has its place in the pack and a task to realize. And his task as an Alpha is to coordinate them and lead them, not get rid of them. A lone wolf won’t stand a chance against a pack of others, whether it’s a pack of wolves or a herd of deer, which used to be the wolf’s prey.

He listened to me and was kind of proud that I had that knowledge about wolves. Apologized for hurting me with his actions and thanked for help with Cora and Boyd. I apologized for slapping him and he said that he was expecting something more brutal from me than just a slap in the face. I grinned and asked him if he has any plan regarding the Alphas. He said he’s working on it and as I pointed out about wolf’s tasks, some of his wolves are doing theirs. I almost praised him for that and tentatively suggested that I want to be a part of it, too. He fell silent and I knew he was starting to get angry, so I asked him to explain why doesn’t he want me in.

\- You’re my mate - again this dogma.

\- Who you rejected, twice - I pointed.

\- To protect you - he said forcible.

\- So what? You let your Betas fight, but not your mate? - I asked hurt - You know that I am stronger than Scott, Isaac, Boyd or your sister, or Peter. You know that and you also know you need everyone against those Alphas. So why the hell are you keeping me away from this? - I was getting angry also.

\- In a pack of wolves, who can breed? - he surprised me with that question. Not because I didn’t know the answer to it, but because it was completely irrelevant. But only at first sight.

\- The Alpha pair - I answered and he nodded. I felt like I was in school again.

\- Did Deaton told you what happens to the wolf if his mate dies? - he asked weirdly quiet.

\- It makes him unhappy for the rest of his life and he feels like he’s lost… - the words were sinking in and I truly understood their meaning.

\- Part of himself - Derek ended for me. He was afraid of losing me, that’s why he didn’t want me to fight. I looked at him.

\- Derek… - I didn’t like that my voice was weak - I want to be your strength, not weakness…

I wanted to kiss him… but no, I was still angry at him. This was kind of punishment for him, no touching. He has to earn it.

\- But it’s unfair. Placing me above the others - I regained my composure.

\- I thought you liked to be on top - he said with a stone face.

\- My Feline wants and likes to be on top. We both don’t like to be dominated, but I prefer to be treated with equality - I explained to him - And you don’t treat me like that. I want to take part in this fight as anybody else and… - this will be the words I might regret later - if you still won’t let me I’ll do it without your consent - I said in a steady but strong voice and waited for his reaction.

He was motionless and a mix of a lot feelings. I closed my eyes and just waited. My chest rising and falling in a steady motion. Quiet melodies of oriental music playing on my laptop.

\- Ok - I opened my eyes and looked at him questioningly - Fight - he leaned in - but please, don’t let anything happen to you - now, his voice was weak and his eyes pleading.

\- Ok - I whispered. This was it. 

I also leaned and kissed him. It was that reward he earned and also a way to end this conversation as we agreed to one another's arguments. I touched his cheek and he placed his strong arms around me. Not thinking, just pushed by a want buried deep inside me, I climbed on him and straddled his tights. My hands on his chest. He was surprised, but pleased. He smiled softly into the kiss. His hands moved from my tights to my waist.   
I deepened the kiss, making it more hard and dominating. This time it was all me, not my Feline. Derek didn’t back up, he responded to it, to me. He made the kiss more aggressive, taking from me and giving at the same time. I murmured. My hand was buried in his hair, tugging at them from time to time, second digging my nails into his shoulder, anchoring me to him. His hands moved too. One was on my ass, squeezing it, second on the nape of my neck. The kiss was fierce, hot and passionate. That was it. That was me. That was what I really wanted.

Derek slid his hand under my t-shirt, but this time I reacted differently than the last time. When I felt his warm hand on my bare and oversensitive skin I gasped and broke the kiss. He wanted to move it away, but I stopped him.

\- No - I breathed and smiled - Put the other one, too - he looked searchingly at me - I stroked his hair - Do it - I whispered into his ear.

When I felt more of his warm skin on me, I murmured. I straightened my back and savored the touch. I stroked/massaged his shoulders.

\- Higher - I hopped he would understand.

Oh, he did. He moved his palms up my back, making my tee rolling up a little. His big hands touching so much of my skin. I murmured again and moved my head to the side, baring my neck. I heard him gulp and returned from my cloud nine.   
I looked at him, but my sight was fogged by pleasure.

\- Agnes… - he whispered. His hands lingering on my back. I leaned and kissed him slowly, sensually.

\- What? - I said into his mouth, tugging at his lower lip. He moved his hands on my back and I murmured again.

\- What’s with… - he was a little puzzled. He must have smelled that what I felt was not a normal pleasure.

\- My back? - I smiled. He nodded - It’s very sensitive. Like an erogenous area, but it doesn’t arouse me sexually. It just makes me very pleasurable. And it’s on all of my back - I smiled again - Since we’re on that topic, do you have any places like that on your body? - I wiggled my brows at him.

\- I think the usual - he said with that smile, when the corners of his mouth are down.

\- Meaning? - I pulled his teeth. He pulled his hand from under my tee and pointed his lips, nipples and penis - It’s hard, isn’t it? - I asked without any shame. He blushed and just nodded - You’re blushing? - I asked with a smile and stroked his cheeks - Aren’t you a little too old for blushing, Derek Hale? - I teased him with a smile.

He wanted to say something, but I didn’t let him. I kissed him again. Passionately, but quickly. We had to finally end this making out session.

\- I would gladly take care of you, but I have to study - I climbed down of him and sit in the middle of my bed indian style, smiling at him. 

\- What are you studying - he asked after he adjusted himself.

\- Economy - I growled and he smiled under his bowed head.

\- Can I help? - I lifted my brows at him.

As it occurred, Derek knew a lot about Economy (I took some courses, he said. Well, me three even and I still hate it, was my reply). And he knew how to explain it to me in an easy way. So, we spent the remaining half of the day together talking about Economy. It reminded me of my studies, when I met with my friends and we studied together for tests or exams. 

When it got late, I proposed that if he don’t have to be somewhere else, he can stay the night. He nodded and grabbed his phone to sent Cora a text, while I went to the kitchen and refilled our plates with pizza. She must have sent him some sassy reply, because he shook his head with a smile when I came back and kissed my cheek.  
When we finished eating, he told me to prepare to bed. 

\- It’s only twelve - I protested. He raised his brows at me.

\- When was the last time you went to sleep at this hour? - he asked seriously and I pouted.

\- Don’t remember. But I’m a night owl - I grinned.

\- You have circles under your eyes, Agnes - he stroked my face in said places.

\- I always have - I shrugged.

\- Not like this - he said with concern. 

\- Make up - I tried.

\- I’ve seen you without it. Now stop trying to out-talk me and go to the bathroom. I huffed.

\- You sound like my mother - I said resigned as I picked a new pajama.

\- I sound like your mate - I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. There was a soft smile on his lips. I shook my head, but placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

 

We were lying in my bed. Both showered and after finding the right position. My bed was definitely too short for Derek. He laid on his side with legs pulled up, his reached arm worked as pillow for me and his hand holding mine. I was on my back with my legs stepped over his. His other arm placed on mine under my breasts, our fingers laced. We were like closed circuit. Energy flowing through ours palms, from me to him and from him to me.

I wondered if it will always be like that. That one day we’re all angry, arguing and jumping down each other’s throat and next Derek is so caring and helping and we end up curled in bed like right now. I don’t want to argue with him, but we’re both stubborn and when we argue… you know, plates drops and claws scratch. And when we’re good, we can talk or read books for hours and just enjoy each other’s company. It reminded me of my parents and that picture I saw on Facebook: an old couple sitting on a bench, rain pouring heavy, it is evident they are angry at each other, but the husband is holding an umbrella over his wife, so she will be dry, while he is all drenched.

\- It was Cora’s idea - Derek whispered in my ear. I frowned.

\- What was?

\- She said don’t go to her empty-handed - he paused - So I brought pizza, you can’t say no to pizza - I laughed.

\- Goodnight Derek - I kissed his chin.

\- Goodnight Agnes - he kissed my hair.


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up to Derek snoring softly. I smiled. Run my hand over his naked chest and hugged him tightly, snuggling into him more. His arm around me tightened for a moment, but he was still asleep. I drifted into sleep again.

Next time I woke up, was to Derek getting out of bed. I checked the time on my phone. It was only 9 a.m. I growled in unison with my stomach.

\- Are you leaving? - I asked from under the comforter.

\- Do you want me to? - he was checking his phone.

\- No - he nodded.

\- Then it’s settled - he kissed my cheek.

\- But I don’t want to get up yet - my voice was sleepy.

\- So sleep - I wanted to say something, but Derek was already in his way to the bathroom.

His bare back to me, his ass clad only in his black briefs. A sight like that at the very beginning of the day… mmm, I murmured into comforter and buried myself deeper into it.  
I was asleep in an instant and haven’t heard Derek meeting Paul or taking my keys and leaving the apartment.

The third time I awoke, was to the smell of scrambled eggs and it was final. My mother always does that to me when she wants me to finally get out of bed. She makes scrambled eggs or hot sandwiches and the smell fills the whole house, making me appear in the kitchen with my mouth watering at the thought of tasty food.   
Today was no exception. Like a zombie (I’m always like that before my morning coffee), who get wind of tasty flesh, I dragged myself to the kitchen rubbing my eyes. Only after some seconds I realized I’m not home and in the kitchen is not my mother but Derek. My eyes went wide and my mouth ajar as I saw him standing there with spatula and scrambling the eggs.

\- Wha…? How? - my mind was not working yet, the hamster still sleeping before the caffeine kick.

\- I made groceries - Derek said it like it was the most normal thing in the world… well, it was, but… I blinked and went to the fridge.

My shelf was full. Like full full, things were stacked in tiers. There was ham, cheese, eggs, some other cheeses, new bottle of milk, a lot of yogurts, fruits and even some already made things for dinner. I closed the door and looked at him stupidly. He just smiled with his head bowed, still preparing the food.

When I returned from the bathroom, consciousness revived and shock gone, I offered to made coffee. When the breakfast was ready, we took it to my room. I asked Derek to take off this jeans and get into bed with me. We ate.   
You might think it’s a cliché, two lovebirds eating breakfast in bed… But it was not a cliché for me, it was something new to me. I have never ate breakfast in bed with my boyfriend before.

\- You didn’t had to… - I started awkwardly.

\- I wanted to - he cut me off quietly.

\- Ok… - I nodded and was about to thank him, when he cut me off again.

\- Besides, it’s a repay for the chinese you bought - he sipped his coffee.

\- I believe this groceries cost more than that, Derek - I was little perplexed. I’m not used to people spending money on me, I only sometimes let my parents do that.

\- It’s ok, really - he must felt my hesitation, because he nuzzled my cheek with his nose and kissed my temple. I smiled.

\- Thank you - I said quietly and, caution not to spill our coffee, kissed him to express my gratitude for everything.

 

Leaving, Derek promised he would let me know when he’ll need my help and asked to send him a text how the exam went. I nodded and kissed him goodbye, passionately. Unluckily, Monica saw that.

\- Done with men, hmm - she smiled like Grinch. First it was small, but then became a huge grin, her swelled belly sticking out with her four months old baby. But it was a warm smile. An approving one. Gods, she could be my sister. I smiled shyly.

 

***

 

We were in the middle of forming a plan, when Scott came to the loft excited and scared all at once.

\- I know where they are - he announced. Everyone looked at him, but I only spared him a glance.

\- Same building as the Argents, we know - Derek said.

I was standing between him and Boyd. Gathered around the desk was also Cora, on the left of Boyd and Peter, on the right to Derek. Scott stepped between Cora and Boyd.

After explaining to him how we knew where the Alphas lived, what the plan was and that he was included in it, he started to rebel.

\- Why is the default plan always murder? - he started, then had a quarrel with Peter about morality. I rolled my eyes.

\- We’re not all black or all white, Scott - I spoke for the first time since he came - It’s like Yin and Yang. In every good person there’s some bad and the opposite.

\- So Deucalion can be good? Is that what you’re saying? - he asked with hope. I snorted.

\- I’m saying that you are not as white as you like to think - I lifted my brows - The fact that Deucalion haven’t killed us all yet doesn’t mean anything. He likes to play, Scott, sets the pawns exactly where he wants them to be - I leaned on the desk - And I definitely don’t like to be played - it sounded more like a threat than a confession, but I made my point.

\- Why do we need this kid? - asked Cora with evident disgust.

\- This kid helped save your life - Derek admonished her, then said to Scott - And you know we can’t just sit back and wait for them to make the first move.

\- You can’t beat a pack of Alphas, Agnes you’re the most reasonable here… - I felt offence coming from Derek and Peter - You can’t seriously think this plan will work - he tried to reason.

\- Because I am reasonable, I think this plan might work - he rolled his eyes seeing his argument going down - I almost beat Kali once, Scott, if we take them one by one… - I looked into his eyes.

\- That’s why we’re going after Deucalion, just him - Cora said firmly.

\- Cut off the head of the snake and the body dies - I liked this kid Boyd. I didn’t know him, but liked him.

\- Only this isn’t a snake, it’s a hydra. And like Scott says, they’re all Alphas - Peter pointed again and I rolled my eyes.

\- Deucalion is still the leader - I was getting irritated. Derek looked at me.

\- Let’s hope so. Because you know what happened when Hercules cut off one of the heads of the hydra? - Peter looked around at all of us.

\- Two more grew back in its place - Scott answered.

\- But he did defeat it. By burning out the places after the cut off heads - I looked at Peter with raised brows, crossed arms and a smirk on my lips.

\- Somebody’s been doing their summer reading - he said with a hint of appreciation.

 

Scott and Boyd had left. I stayed, because I wanted to see how Kala was doing. She was fine, Derek was taking good care of her.  
After my last encounter with him and today’s conversation, Peter stopped with allusions about me and maybe… not started to like me, because like is to big word for that, but appreciate, he started to appreciate me. Well, honestly I didn’t care if he liked me or not.

\- You know Scott’s going to do something stupid… - he said, playing with his fingers on the couch’s armrest.

\- We thought about that possibility - I answered him turning from the window, cat in my arms. He squinted at me. I smirked.

\- It’s been taken care of - Derek added not getting his eyes off the papers still placed on the desk, Cora beside him.

\- Then nothing here for me - Peter took his coat and was gone.

Derek rose his head from the papers and looked at me. I looked at him too. Now we had to wait. Cora looked at us weirdly.

\- What’s going on? - she asked confused. I was waiting for Derek to say something, but he didn’t.

\- You’ll see - was my reply.

 

And of course Scott did something. He wanted to talk with Deucalion. Why couldn’t he understand that this demon-wolf had a plan and nothing was going to change his mind? We just have to eliminate some pawns from the game…

We got into Derek’s car (the jeep, not that awful Toyota) and went to were Scott was meeting Deucalion. We approached with caution, Derek and me first, Cora and Boyd behind us. They all were wolfed out already, me not. I felt all three Alphas I already knew and two more. Derek mouthed to me: “They’re all here”. I clenched my jaw and nodded to him.

We saw Scoot and Isaac standing at the bottom of the broken escalators. At the mid of that stairs stood Deucalion. Derek took the lead and made our presence known, but it was unnecessary for the older man, because he said:

\- I’m not talking about Isaac 

\- You knew I would do this? - Scott said with pretense - Derek, don’t. You can’t do this so no one gets hurt. If someone else dies… - now he tried to reason with Derek, I was getting fed up with this kid.

\- Him - Derek pointed Deucalion with his clawed hand - Just him - anger was rising in him already, I felt it clearly.

\- Just me? - Deucalion asked calmly - Now, how’s a blind man find his way into a place like this all on his own? - oh, I was getting fed up with him too. This pretending to be blind was getting on my nerves.

To my left appeared Kali and my want to fight just jumped through the roof. My eyes turned turquoise. I had some scores to settle with her and I wanted to fight with her. Badly. Bloodily. She was the one, who attacked me in the woods, she was the one who wounded Derek. And she was going to pay for it. With. Her. Life.  
We eyed each other and bared ours fangs, but stayed still. Just couple of seconds more…  
Between Scott, Isaac and Derek showed Ennis. At the upper floor appeared two young men, twins, but they were the youngest among the Alphas. The atmosphere was tense, everyone waited for the first move…  
I felt anxiety coming from the kids, and self-confidence from the Alphas. I signed. I needed more anger to fuel me, but believed it will be taken care off when the fight starts.

Derek must have felt my impatience, because he attacked. He ran for Deucalion, but Kali stopped him, attacking him. In that same moment the twins jumped down and landed as one. So that’s the “one giant Alpha” Peter was talking about. Cora and Boyd were already fighting with Ennis, so despite the fact that I desperately wanted to help Derek with Kali, I had my own role here.

I looked at Deucalion, he was observing everything with calm. Did he observed me too? I leapt towards him, but was not stopped by anyone. He expected that move, but he didn’t expect me to be this fast. He blocked me with his cane, his fucking cane. Every fucking time. I wanted to broke it to tinny parts. I roared into his face.  
In the meantime the twins had knocked down Isaac and thrown Scoot into a wall. Every scream that filled the air, fueled my rage. I became faster and stronger. The air around me flickering, sparkling and cracking with electricity. Deucalion regarded me as we stopped fighting for couple of seconds to catch a breath. 

\- I honestly regret that you’re not a werewolf. You would be such a lovely addition - he said with a smile.

\- Fuck off - I roared and lunged at him. 

I finally managed to punch him in the face and using those seconds I gained, I jumped up one step behind him, grabbed his throat and was ready to slash it.   
I wasn’t aware what was happening downstairs. I haven’t noticed that the twins had Scoot and Isaac grabbed by their collars, definitely wounded. Boyd lied slashed on the floor and Cora was held by Kali’s toeclaws on her throat. The sight of her lying there helpless made me sign. Deucalion used that and punched me hard in the stomach. I flew couples of meters away and thank Gods landed on my hands, protecting my spine.

\- Kill him! - I heard Deucalion shout before me - The others can go.

I wanted to lounge at him again but he pointed that fucking cane at me. It was ended with a small blade. I snarled at him and he just smiled.  
Boyd looked at Derek, who was looking confused at Deucalion. When he moved his eyes on me, I shook my head.

\- You’re beaten - Deucalion continued still having an eye on me - Do it Derek. Take the first step.

\- Are we serious with this kid? - Kali said with despise - Look at him. He’s an Alpha? To what? A couple of useless teenagers? - ugh, I’m going to rip that fucking leg out of her ass.

\- Some have more promise than others - Deucalion said and looked at Scott. I turned my head trying to understand the true meaning of those words. 

\- Let him rise to the occasion then - Kali continued - What’ll it be Derek? Pack or family? - I rose my brows. No, no, no. Allison where the fuck are you?

Derek was confused and lost, but I knew what he would do faced with such choice. My heart was bleeding for him and rage filled the rest of my body. I muttered “No” over and over. Everyone was looking at him, everyone wanted to know what he will do, everyone…   
And finally, it happened. I heard a whiz of an arrow. I never thought something like that would be a thing I was so desperately looking forward to. It landed near the twins and threw them away, also blinding them. Derek docked and I jumped down the stairs to be closer to him and Cora. Next arrow blinded Kali and she lost her grip on Cora. Thank you Allison, for listening to me.

\- Your eyes! - Deucalion shouted - Cover your eyes! - to late for that, you asshole, I thought. Your advantage just blew away.

Allison bombarded the ground and when she paused I looked at Deucalion whit a smirk on my face. I wanted to show him my middle finger, but it was too soon to do that. At least, I felt he was unsatisfied.

The battlefield was clear to fight again, and this time I planned to fight Kali. I saw Derek and Cora picking up Boyd, and Ennis eyeing Scott. I let them be and searched Kali with my eyes. There she was…  
I pounced at her, remembering to mind her toeclaws. So I took care of her Iegs first. I kicked her knee, breaking it open and sending her to the ground. Her scream - music to my ears. She didn’t have a chance to even react to my moves.

\- That’s for attacking me - I punched her in the face and heard the mandible had dislocated. She spat blood and I smiled - That’s for Derek - she grunted - And that’s for Cora - I hissed, took a swing and kicked her in the ribs, making her flew couple of meters and hitting the wall, cracking her skull.

I don’t know if our fight lasted even a minute, but when I took a look around I couldn’t see Cora or Boyd, Deucalion was still on the stairs watching carefully, he felt excited… I noticed Derek fighting with Ennis, at the edge. My eyes widened. Scott was half walking, half crawling to them, and in the distance I could see Isaac. I prepared myself to run to them, when Scott cut Ennis’ ankle and they lost their balance. My whole world stopped. Everything was frozen, except my hammering heart and Derek and Ennis disappearing behind the edge.

\- Nooo!! - I shouted as I finally moved and kneeled at the edge. Two bodies lying downstairs in weird positions - Derek! - I felt someone’s hands grabbing my hoodie and dragging me away - No! I need to go there! - I struggled with that someone.

\- No, Agnes! We have to get out of here - I heard Isaac, but his voice was like a very distant calling - Now! Scott? - Isaac was helping him get up and I was starting to shake.

 

I don’t know how it happened. One minute I was looking at Derek’s dead body and next I was in his loft, helping Cora to lay Boyd down on the sofa.  
My mind was clouded, but I remember Scott telling me that he’s ok and he and Isaac will take the bike and return to his house. I also remember finding the jeep with Cora and Boyd inside it. When she asked me where is Derek I couldn’t utter a word, so I just drove away.   
I was staring blankly at some point behind the sofa, when Cora came with wetted towels. She gave one to me and with the other she started to wipe off the blood from Boyd.

\- He isn’t dead, is he? - I heard the boy’s deep voice. I looked at him with unseeing eyes.

\- I don’t know - I said weakly. I dropped the towel and approached the window. 

Staring through it at night was my favorite thing, made me calm, like Derek… I clenched my jaw not to cry. I started biting my nails and almost stepped on Kala’s tail, because I haven’t noticed her. I took her in my arms and nuzzled into her fur. She smelled like Derek… No, I couldn’t stand it. I had to get out of here.

\- Agnes, please - Cora grabbed my arm - I don’t want to stay alone - she looked at me with pleading eyes. I didn’t want to stay here. Everything here was like Derek…

\- Ok - I said after a pause. I didn’t want to stay, but I hadn’t had the heart to leave her here alone.

I didn’t have any serious wounds, so I tended to theirs. I was moving like on autopilot. After that Boyd fell asleep on the couch and I told Cora to take a shower. I prepared them something to eat and left it in the fridge. Cora returned from the bathroom in her pajama and approached me, she felt hesitant. I frowned at her.

\- What is it? - I asked worried.

\- Can I sleep with you? - my frown deepened. I looked at her, searching and focused on her feelings.

She was sad and lost. Hesitant and worried. She was reunited with her family, which she thought was all dead only over a week ago and now she might lost one of them again. And she was only a kid. How I felt when my grandmother died years ago? My uncle, last summer? I cried for long and now, I still have moments of weakness. And Cora even haven’t shed a tear, she just wanted to sleep in one bed with me.

\- Ok - I said finally and something like smile flashed her face for a moment - There’s some food - I pointed the fridge - If you’re hungry - she nodded and I went to the bathroom.

When I returned, I saw her in Derek’s bed. Fuck, I thought we will be sleeping in her bed. But she was asleep already and I wasn’t going to wake her up. So I sighed and laid next to her. As if on cue, she cuddled to me. It startled me, but when the shock fade away I embraced her and closed my eyes. I knew, I wouldn’t be able to sleep so I just listened. I listened to their breathing, noises the loft made, wind outside. Finally to Kala’s purring, when she laid next to my head. Cat’s purring always lulled me to sleep and after some time I drifted away unaware of it.

 

***

 

Sagats from a telephone ring made me shoot up from the bed. I blinked as I took in the surroundings and thought whose phone was it. Mine. My bag was still on the bench. I found the phone. Stiles.

\- Yeah? - my voice was raspy, I coughed - Sorry, what?

\- I was asking If you’re ok? - there was worry in his voice, but also irritation.

\- Stiles… - I placed my head in my hand - I don’t know what to do? - resignation in my voice.

\- I tried calling him. Voice mail - I huffed - You can go there and look for him, right?

\- Yeah, that’s the only thought that comes to my mind now…

\- So, if you will find out anything give me a call, or text, or something, ok? Because Scott here, is freaking out - Stiles said in an exasperated voice.

\- What? Why? - it made all of my sleepiness fade away in an instant.

\- He thinks it’s his fault - I growled.

\- It’s not. It’s Ennis’, not his - I said angry.

\- That’s what I’ve been telling him - he sounded like an adult. I was weird.

\- I’ll let you know - I assured him.

\- Thanks - he breathed - And Agnes… - I felt his compassion.

\- No, Stiles, don’t do that - I said in weak yet angry voice - We don’t know if he’s…

\- Ok, ok. I’m sorry, Agnes. Shit, I… - smiled a little.

\- Just be careful, ok? All of you - I warned them.

\- Yeah, ok - he said with resolve - You too.

\- Bye, Stiles.

\- Bye, Agnes - I stared through the window, until I realized Cora was looking at me.

\- What? - I turned to her. She was already clothed.

\- Where’s Boyd? - she frowned.

\- On a trip to a cross country run, with the rest - I checked my phone - You’re not going to school?

\- No, I want to go looking for him. Are you coming? - I raised my brows at her.

 

I had to bought a sandwich, coffee and something sweet at the gas station, because there was nothing in the fridge I could grab quickly and Cora was inpatient and wouldn’t wait for me to prepare any breakfast. So I had to drive and eat at the same time. Good I’m a woman, we are multifunctional. She looked at me weirdly and said I ate lot. I snorted at her and explained that I’m always famished in the mornings. I also called work and informed my supervisor that I’m not going to show up today and tomorrow probably too. He agreed calmly. 

\- I’ve been thinking - she said not looking at me.

\- About?

\- You said once that you felt when Kali… - she was quiet for a moment - Maybe you felt something similar yesterday? Or today? - there was unmistakably hope in her voice. I sighed.

\- No, I don’t feel anything like that. I’m sorry - I looked at her pained, but tried to emit some soothing emotions.

Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it too, but it was in vain. I couldn’t feel Derek. I tried to recall the moment he fell and recall if I felt any pain. I haven’t. It meant that this bond we had (or whatever you may call it) wasn’t working or I was just simply too shocked to feel anything back there.  
It unnerved me, irritated me and made me more depressed and out of power. The only thing that was making me move, was Cora. If it wasn’t for her, I would just go back to my place, lay in my bed and try to sleep. And hope, that when I woke up everything would be ok. Gods, how naive I sometimes was.

We reached our destination and got out the jeep. Cora moved before me and I grabbed her arm. She wanted to jerk her hand away, but my grip was too strong for her.

\- Don’t - I warned her and she stopped struggling - Stay behind me and be careful - I looked into her eyes and she finally understood it was not about mothering her, but keeping her safe as I didn’t know what to expect when we enter the building. She nodded.

At one point it was good there was no one except us, but on the other… We were looking at the stairs Derek laid when I last saw him. My jaw clenched and my fingers bailed into fists, nails digging into my flesh. Cora ran her fingers along the trail of blood and stood up quickly as she heard someone coming. She glanced at me, but I was moderately calm. I felt him far earlier than she.

\- It’s just me, your uncle - he showed at the top of the stairs - Uncle Peter.

I listened to their conversation from where I stood, while Cora moved up the stairs. I regarded them both. Peter was talking to Cora, but he looked at me saying:

\- And I’m not particularly fond of things unaccounted - I rose my brows at him.

\- I place my cards on the table, Peter - I said menacingly. It was not a good idea to poke me like that now - Can you say the same about yourself? - I tilted my head to the right. He squinted at me and wanted to retort, but Cora cut in.

\- What are you doing here?

Peter answered in too poetic manner for me right now and I rolled my eyes at him. 

\- I need air - I said - Will be somewhere near the car - with that I left them. I felt Cora’s worried eyes on me and Peter’s… not in the least.

I leaned on my palms on the jeep’s hood and sighed, head bowed. Jesus Christ! I had to do something. I had to find a way to find him. He can’t throw at me the mates thing and then just die, leaving me alone… Leaving Cora alone. My heart clenched and I thought I was going to cry, but stopped myself the last moment.   
He’s not dead. He can’t be. I repeated those words in my head over and over again, like mantra. I gasped for air like I was drowning and pushed myself away from the car. I started pacing and thinking. Cora and Peter exited the building.

We decided it might be a good idea to go to Deaton. While Cora and Peter were discussing how to get in, I grabbed her arm, again, but this time my worries were reasonable.

\- They’re here - I whispered looking at the building, shaking with anger.

\- Who? - Cora didn’t understand.

\- All of them - Peter confirmed. I felt a weird rush of power. I frowned.

\- But how do we know who’s in there? - I heard Cora say - Is it Derek or Ennis or both?

\- Not Derek - I said unhesitatingly. I would have felt him there.

Seconds later Kali ran out of the clinic, one of the twins behind her, and roared into the sky. She was furious and depressed. She felt almost like me. Like she lost someone very important in her life.  
Car alarms started beeping and we got out of there as fast as we could. 

I realized I was smiling. Ennis just died. One of the Alphas. I was happy.  
I never was a person who wished bad to people. I was mean, yes, but I liked to tease, not cause people pain.   
But since this all started, I was rethinking my morality. I wished people death. Well, not technically, people, those Alphas. I wanted them dead. Really. They wanted the deaths of people I knew, and I was not going to let them have it. I was ready to kill to protect. I never thought I would make a resolve like that, but here it was. It was not a decision made on impulse, because of Derek’s presumed death. This decision matured in me for quite some time.  
That’s why I was smiling.

We tried some other locations: the place where Derek trained Erica, Isaac and Boyd, the Hale house, Stiles’ house, hospitals, the school even. Nothing. I was frustrated and hungry. I said it aloud and Cora admitted she’s hungry too. Thanks to all Gods that there are, Peter decided it was time for him to leave. So there was just me and Cora. I asked if she has any preferences about the food and she just shrugged.

I took her downtown to a place I usually visited with my friend Anna. They had good pizza and other things too, like calzone or lasagne for example. I suggested Cora calzone with meat, that was my order anyway and she nodded.  
As we waited for the food I felt her irritation and impatience rising and it had nothing to do with the hunger we both felt.

\- Cora - she stopped staring through the window and looked at me - I know you don’t want to sit here, but you have to eat - I pointed - I want to find him as much as you do, you know it’s true - I looked into her sad eyes and she nodded.

Our calzones arrived and we ate in silence. I paid, the waitress didn’t even check my ID, when I asked for student’s discount, obviously she decided me and Cora looked like students after a long night. We were on our way back to the car and I noticed Cora was looking around, curious.

\- You haven’t been downtown yet? - I asked her and she shook her head.

\- Derek only took me to the mall to get clothes and things for school - I rolled my eyes.

\- Yeah, that sounds like your brother - she looked at me.

\- How long have you known him?

\- Not long. Four months. He’s a tough case - it felt weird talking to someone about Derek in that manner.

\- What do you mean? - she frowned.

\- I think you know what I mean - I looked at her and noticed just now that we were the same height - He’s not the easiest person to deal with - I explained - Well, me neither, but that’s completely different story - I smirked.

\- He wasn’t like that... - she saddened - And you’re nice - she said honestly. That dumbfounded me and I almost tripped. She looked at me weirdly.

\- I’m not nice. People who know me would never said that about me - I pointed.

\- I know you don’t like Peter but you’re nice to me… - she said shyly.

\- It’s probably because you’re my mate’s sister. And - I paused - nobody likes Peter.

We got into the car and I drove to Derek’s loft. To check if he isn’t there and for Cora to pack. I told her she’s going to spend the night at my place and go to school tomorrow. We had an argue about it, but I was used to argue with two Hales already, so the next one was a piece of cake. She was so sulky and I could imagine Derek did the same when he was her age. It made my heart clench, thinking about him. I searched for Kala quickly, I wanted to be out of here as fast as possible, but I haven’t found her. I frowned and decided I come the next day.

 

Seeing my room Cora reacted exactly as I suspected. She reacted like Derek, stood in the doorway with her brows lifted. I would laugh, if it only wasn’t reminding me of Derek so much.

I took her to the river to gather my thoughts. We were sitting on the bench in silence, but Cora couldn’t stand it anymore and bursted:

\- We should do something!

\- Like? - I asked calmly.

\- Look for him.

\- We’ve done that.

\- Then do it again - she emphasized.

\- Now? - I raised my brows.

\- Yes, now - she almost flailed her hands.

\- You don’t understand that I’m trying to protect you? - now I couldn’t stand it anymore, her babbling. She looked at me shocked - Ennis is dead. They will come for us, in fact I’m surprised they haven’t done that yet. Being in motion and in public is good, yes, but we have to stop to sleep, it’s good to do that in a safe place and my apartment counts as one. And we definitely should not wander around the city at night - I said calmly but with an ice voice.

She must have felt that I was angry with her after all. If those arguments didn’t convince her, I had more, but they were unpleasant for her. She bowed her head humbly. I couldn’t say if my words made her do that or the fact that I was her brother’s mate and it placed me higher in hierarchy.  
I assured her that we will look for Derek tomorrow, after school. And if we won’t find him or any lead then I’ll go to Stiles’ father and report Derek missing. She accepted that. I squeezed her shoulder and she smiled faintly. I smiled back and then Cora did something I wasn’t expecting, she placed her head on my shoulder. Just like the previous night, after my shock faded, I placed my arm around her and hugged her.   
I forgot werewolves react to physical contact. They seek it when they are hurt, it doesn’t matter if it’s physical or emotional hurt. The touch, a simple touch helps them. How could I forgot about it.


	19. Chapter 19

The morning was a killer. I was woken up, two days in a row, at sinfully early hour. And tomorrow it will be the same as I have classes in the morning. I groaned.

I was driving Cora to school, when Stiles called and told me everything about their night at the Glen Capri Motel where Scott, Isaac, Boyd and Ethan almost committed suicide. I, almost caused an accident. After I got a grip on myself he repeated after Ethan that Derek is alive and as I already predicted Kali is going after him. I sighed. Cora placed her hand on my arm, she was listening to it all.  
I had to assure her again that right after school we’ll go looking for Derek and if I had found him earlier I would let her know (we already exchanged our phone numbers yesterday). After what Stiles said, she was eager to go looking for her brother right now, but I repeated that she’s wanted and it would be better to stay at school. I warned her to be careful and do not ditch school, because I will make a living hell out of her life. It worked, because I felt anxiety coming off of her. I tried to smile to her and shushed her to   
school. 

It felt weird to drive the teen to school, to take care of her, it felt almost like… mothering. Oh, no. That’s the path we’re not going right now, I told to myself. Now, we’re going to the loft, to look for Kala. That’s it. No more thoughts about kids and mothers. Nope.

 

When I entered the loft I heard rustling. I thought it might be the Alphas, so I elongated my fangs and nails and prepared to fight. But what I saw took my breath away.

\- Derek? - it was just a whisper. I didn’t trust my voice.

He looked at me, his gaze searching, and finally recognition appeared on his face.

\- Agnes… - he said weakly and my knees almost gave up.

I moved to the bed on wobbly legs. My steps very tentative, like I suspected it to be some kind of sick trick. Like I finally get that longed sleep and was dreaming. Dreaming of Derek unhurt and alive. Because he was unhurt now. There was no wounds on his torso… and I remembered them clearly, those deep cuts after Ennis’ claws. But now they were gone. There was no wounds and no blood on him anymore. His skin as perfect as always.  
And he was naked, and tangled into the bedding. He smelled weird and felt confused.  
He sat on the edge of the bed and I stood in front of him, but left some space between us. This was weird, some kind of wrong. Something was… off. Although for the past day, finding Derek, and finding him alive, was the only thought in my head, when I finally did that I was confused. Why was I confused? Why was I so uncertain? Why couldn’t I be just happy?

I was afraid to touch him, to say more than just his name. I feared that under the touch or tremble of my voice he might scatter or vanish in thin air and I will be alone again. I didn’t want to be alone again. I didn’t want him to disappear. I wanted him with me for as long as it’s possible. To never leave me. To always be with me.  
He must have smelled my desperation and my longing for him, because he touched my hand and pulled me to him. I almost jumped at the touch. He made me straddle him. I wanted to hug him, but was afraid might hurt him. I looked searchingly into his eyes. Unbelief and hesitation coming off of me.

\- It’s me - he assured in raspy voice. 

He tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly to not let the tears fall. My throat was clenched by an invisible iron fist and I couldn’t utter a word.

\- I’m ok - he continued, like he knew I had to know that, but haven’t got the strength to ask - Little weak, but ok - he tried to smile, but he was now more worried about me, and it looked more sour, like he ate a lemon.

\- Are you healed? - I finally managed to say something, but my voice was weak and broken. He nodded - Completely? - again a nod.

I believe there was a lot of emotions on my face, in my eyes, in my scent, but the strongest was relieve. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him to me and myself to him. I hugged him tightly using my supernatural strength. I never wanted to let him go. Ever. Again.  
And then… I snapped. All of my worries, fears and other known and unknown to me emotions let lose. I cried. Hard. Not like in moves, but like in real life, where crying makes you shake, running nose and red faced.  
Derek stroked my back in soothing motions and just waited for me to calm down. It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to take care of him. I was getting used to taking care of him, to tend to his wounds.

\- I’m sorry - I gasped after I managed to get a grip on myself and sniffed loudly. 

\- It’s ok - This time he smiled softly.

I wiped my nose with my hand and was about to do the same with my face when Derek gently moved my hands away and started licking and kissing the wetness from my face. My heart started to beat faster at that. This was so intimate, so tenderness. I gasped.

\- Derek, I… - I took his face in my palms, but forgot what I wanted to say.

\- Shh… - he shushed me and gently kissed my lips. Then moved away little and looked at me carefully.

I was shaking again, but not because of crying. Because of emotions swirling inside me. I didn’t understand some of them, but I understood this one: my need for Derek.  
I kissed him passionately, desperately. This time, I believe my kiss said all those feelings I felt, but I wasn’t able to name them, to express them. I didn’t know any other ways to do that, so I expressed them through that kiss.  
Except my desperate need for Derek, I felt desire creeping down my spine and a knot forming in my belly. I broke our kiss.

\- I need you inside me, Derek, now - I breathed into his mouth. 

He was gasping, looked into my eyes for a moment and kissed me again. No words. I just got his consent by realizing he was sliding my jacket down my arms. Oh, yes, I was fully clothed while he was fully naked.  
He helped me to take off my hooded sweater. I stood up and took off my top and my bra, while he unzipped my skinny jeans and pulled them down along with my panties. He was struggling with my combat boots, so I helped him and finally climbed on him again.

We kissed like our life depended on it. Well, in this particular moment, mine maybe depended. I reached for his member and realized it was already hard. I smiled into the kiss. Derek noticed it. He was one of two guys, who kissed me with eyes opened. I liked that. It made the kiss somehow deeper, more meaningful. Most of the guys I was with, didn’t like that.   
I was about to put him inside me, when a thought hit me. 

\- Condom - I just said and then frowned, because I had one in my bag, downstairs, in the car.

\- Can we not use it? - he asked and kissed my jaw, ear lobe and down my neck, like he tried to bribe me. I smiled as I savored the feeling of his lips on my skin.

\- I’m not the book example of menstrual circle, Derek - I said calmly. My hand in his hair made him look at me.

\- You’re not in your fertile days - he said serious and added quickly - And I’m clean - he looked at me as he waited for my decision.

\- You can smell that? - I lifted my brows at him. He nodded. Wow, it was kind of embarrassing, but I think I should expect that, there was no privacy in werewolf world after all.

\- And you’re sure? - it was important to me. 

\- Yes - he said firmly.

This time, I haven’t said anything. I just pushed him a little and he laid flat on his back. This had nothing to with dominating him. It was just a position, one position among a lot of others. I stroked him some and placed at my entrance.   
Stiles was right, Derek was big, thick and long, and I honestly thought putting it in will hurt. That’s why I had to do it. In my own pace. I hissed as I lowered myself on him. One hand still holding his penis, the other placed on his abs for support. Derek’s hands were on my waist and my thigh. Our eyes on each other’s, but when he was fully inside me, he sighed and closed them, savoring the feeling. I smiled, and as I adjusted to him, I stroked his abs. I moved my palms to his sides and for a moment had a devilish idea to tickle him, but I decided not to, there will be time for bed play later.

I started to move my hips and Derek’s eyes flew open, he moved up and clashed his lips with mine. I smiled into the kiss and started to move faster. His hands were on me all of the time, tangled in my hair, on my shoulders, on my back, on my breasts, on my ass cheeks, on my legs. Derek was on me and inside me. So much alive. The knot in my belly bigger and bigger.  
I made him lay down again, but this time I followed. I leaned over him and whispered into his ear:

\- Your hips… can you?

He responded immediately and I moaned into his ear. I felt him shiver.

\- Oh fuck, Derek… - I breathed and heard him chuckle.

I didn’t have words for more, now. When he moved… I felt all of his power, it made me weak. I was just a one big goo. All I could do was clench my fingers on his shoulder and on the sheets, moan and gasp, and just take what he was giving me. My hair was everywhere, on my back, in my face, in Derek’s face. But he didn’t care. He held me firmly and thrust into me. And every time he did that a shiver ran through me. My muscles started to tense and I knew what was coming. 

I moved up and straddled him again. Placed his palms on my breasts and rode him. Derek cupped my breasts in his big hands and played with my nipples. I moaned in pleasure. No one was ever able to do that. My nipples were sensitive, yes, but they never reacted to a man’s touch like they did now. I felt my orgasm building up and quickened the pace. I leaned to the back a little, arched my back, my hair touching the sheets and tickling his testicles and inner thighs. My muscles contracted and I felt bliss radiating all over my body. I closed my eyes and rocked myself on him some more. My head tilted and I was murmuring to myself with a smile.  
I was so lost in myself, in my own release, that I completely ignored Derek. How could I do that to him? I didn’t understand. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me, but there was smile on his lips. I leaned over him again, this time letting him slip from me, and kissed him slowly, lazily. I fed my desperate need for him and now I could really taste him. It was awful like sometimes your body took control over you and you followed those more basic needs.  
Only after a moment I noticed.

\- You haven’t came - I said almost accusingly after I broke the kiss - Why?

\- Am I complaining? - he stroked my flushed cheek.

\- But? - I frowned. He smiled like he was talking with a child.

\- Maybe I’m waiting for round two… - he rolled us and was on top of me. It didn’t bothered me at all. 

He looked me in the eye and I smiled. We kissed. Again slowly, lazily, exploring each other. His beautiful, strong body was covering mine and I shivered from pleasure.

\- Where’s Cora? - he asked as we stopped to catch a breath.

\- School - he nodded.

\- I have to tell the others I’m ok - he wanted to get up but I stopped him.

\- Derek? - he lifted his brows at me - I’ll text them, but… - I bit my lip - can we have that second round now? - I smiled and lifted my brow. He bowed his head and shook it, but I saw smile there. He leaned and kissed me.

\- Just text them now, ok? - I nodded and retrieved my phone from my jeans’ pocket. 

I tapped a quick message:

To: Stiles; Cora

Found Derek. He’s ok. We’re having sex. Do. Not. Disturb.

Derek came a moment later with a bottle of water. I was lying on my belly, totally relaxed and content. He sat on my left and gave me the water. While I was drinking, he stroked my back and my ass cheeks. I murmured and placed the bottle on the floor.  
I reached and stroked his thigh. Gods, his thighs were so big and powerful. I moved my palm to another big part of him, but he stopped me. I frowned like a kid denied a candy. He just smiled, kissed my hand and said:

\- It’s still for you.

I didn’t catch the meaning of his words in that moment.  
He spun me on the bed and I laughed. I was curious what was he going to do next, but when he did it, it was beyond my expectations. He kissed my body, whole, inch by inch. I… I would blush, but my face was already flushed from the sex before. 

He started with my left leg. He kissed my every toe and the underside of my foot. I was stunned. No one had ever petted me like that… When I thought he will take care of my cherry, he turned right and made a detour through my belly and my right leg. I then understood that he’s teasing with me and let him have his time. He turned me on my belly again and kissed and fondled my ass cheeks. I told him to bite them and when he did, I murmured and started purring.

Then, I was in heaven as he kissed and nuzzled all of my back. He moved my hair away and spend some time on my neck, leaving me breathless and with couple hickeys. I rolled and looked at him with eyes clouded with desire. His were the same, dark from want. We smiled at each other and kissed sweetly, my hand in his hair, second trying to touch as much of him as I was able to reach. 

Derek went down and spiraled each of my breasts with kisses, at the end taking my erect nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. My back was already arched when I threw my head back and whimpered. I do not whimper, seriously. Maybe only when I hit my little toe or see little hungry kittens, but I do not whimper during sex. And Derek just made me do that. 

With a smile on his face he kissed my abs (oh, we’ll see what noises you’ll make, when I get my mouth on you, I thought), then pulled me to the edge of the bed, opened my legs wide and kneeling, dived into me. Oh my fucking god! (I vocalized it). The feeling of his mouth on my vagina was incredible, and his stubble was adding to the effect. His tongue inside me made unforgettable things. I squirmed in pleasure and knew I won’t last long. I started to move my hips and Derek feel in pace with me.

\- Oh, fuck, Derek… yes, yes! - I shouted and tugged at his hair as my orgasm hit.

I arched my back, let go of his hand I was holding and placed both my arms above my head. I stretched and relieved my orgasm. Derek was still licking, cooling me down and waiting for my return from cloud nine.  
I looked at him, smiling and motioned to climb me, my chest rising and falling rapidly. 

\- Put it in and come already - I said into his mouth after a heated kiss. He chuckled.

We started classically. I was still very sensitive and arched my back again as he was sliding inside me. He used that and kissed and nipped at my neck. I returned that caress, first with his jaw and then this throat. I was curious about one thing… I lapped at his Adam’s apple and then sucked the skin, nipping it from time to time. I felt his pleasure rose, heart skipping a beat. His thrusts became hard, opposite to steady rhythm so far. Shivers ran down my spine.

\- Have I found a new spot? - I wiggled my brows at him. He just kissed me in reply.

Then, were some variations of the classic and at the end I let him enter me from behind. I never liked that position, because it used to be painful for me, and of course because of its submissive character. But I was here, in this bed, with Derek, and in that moment all my fears were gone. I just wanted to taste him, feel him, to know him. Position didn’t matter.

He caressed and kissed my back, nipped at my shoulder, fondled my breasts, all the time thrusting into me. It felt wonderful, he was wonderful, he…  
I shouted when Derek touched my clit and I heard his low moan. My Kegel muscles clenched on him tightly. And you have to know I have very strong Kegel muscles…

\- C’mon Derek, come - I said gasping as I moved up and felt his muscled torso glued to my back - I want you to come, please? - I put my arms behind me, one hand placed on Derek’s shoulder, the other in his hair, my nails running along his skull.

\- How much you want it? - his voice was husky and made me shiver. He ran his hands up and down my body.

\- Oh, I can make you come… - I grinned, but haven’t fulfilled my threat, because Derek leaned us both forward.

He thrust hard and with power I expected him to have. I just lowered myself on my forearms and took what he had to give to me, my orgasm building up. His moves became erratic and breath ragged. I knew he was close, I could also feel it inside him. 

We climaxed together, both shouting each other’s name. It was wonderful… I never felt something like that before. I wanted to move up and Derek down, so we collided in the middle. I felt his hot semen spilling inside me and shivered. Through our glued torsos I could feel Derek’s heart hammering in his chest as he probably could feel mine. We were both panting, sweaty and happy. I smiled. He must have noticed that, because he nuzzled my neck with his nose and then kissed it. I murmured and he growled playfully. It made something inside me move, but I pushed it away. I knew it had something to do with my Feline, but I didn’t want to think about it now. Although, in my mind appeared a thought about me and Derek having sex wolfed out… Mmm, I was looking forward to making that come true.

He slipped out from me and I laid on my belly again. I must have looked exactly like a cat. Chilled, content and purring. I stretched with a big smile. I looked at Derek and the smile was wiped off my face in an instant. He was kneeling on the floor with stone face yet his eyes were shocked. I panicked. I knew something was wrong.

\- Derek! What’s going on? - I shouted as I shoot up from my spot on the bed.

\- That’s the first time I had sex since Kate - he said calmly. 

I stopped midair, got tangled in the sheets and tumbled down on the floor. I fought with the sheets, growling and when I finally managed to scramble half of myself out of it I heard Derek chuckle. I rose my shocked eyes at him and blinked. And he… he laughed. It was a rich, deep laugh, coming from your belly and making you shake from waist up. It was amazing. I just sat there, on the floor, frozen and watched his bared white teeth as his mouth were wide open with a smile and his crow’s feet as he squinted his eyes. I love crow’s feet in men. I wanted to kiss it.  
He crouched and picked me up from the floor, laugh slowly dying in him. He placed me on the bed and helped to untangle from the sheets.

\- Derek are you all right? - I asked hesitantly and searched his eyes.

\- Yes - he nodded - I’m sorry, but you just looked like Kala when Peter spooked her - he laid on the bed, relaxed. I frowned.

\- Peter spooked Kala? - I didn’t like it.

\- Just once - he reached, pulled me to him and kissed my cheek - After that, she disappears every time he’s around - he looked into my eyes, like he was searching acceptance there.

\- Good girl - I grinned and sprawled across his chest - I like your laugh - I said after a pause.

\- I usually don’t have reasons to laugh, but you should have seen your face… 

\- Well, I’m glad I entertained you - I said with pretended offence.

\- Not only with that - he teased and moved me, so I was laying flat on my bell on him. My forearms on his pecs.

He ran his fingers through my messy hair, taming them a little. I never liked anyone touching my hair, except my parents, but if it was Derek, I was ok with it. I smiled, closed my eyes and purred.

\- Your body changed - I opened my eyes in an instant.

\- What do you mean? - I didn’t know if it’s good or bad.

\- I remember your stomach being more soft… - he ran his hands along my body. I arched my back at his touch - and now it’s not. And your muscles are defined.

\- So I believe it’s good? - he smiled and nodded - I’ve been going to the gym - I explained and he nodded again.

\- But you’re still soft in some places - he squeezed my butt and I laughed.

\- Well, I believe a woman should be soft in some places - I winked at him.

\- Agreed - he said with a smile.

\- Do you like me? - I asked hesitantly. When I think about, we never talked about our feelings. I know I felt them, but some things had to be said aloud.

\- How can you even ask? - he said like I offended him with that question.

\- I’m a woman and… I need to be told some things in the face? - I squinted at him and bit my lip. I knew men don’t like to talk about their feelings.

He fell silent and I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t angry, but he wasn’t happy neither. I moved up to sitting position and took his hands into mine.

\- I think I didn’t understand the meaning of being mates till I saw you laying there, next to Ennis, all bloodied and almost lifeless - I started and felt my heartbeat quickened - I understood why you didn’t want me to fight, you didn’t want to feel how I felt back then - I swallowed the knot in my throat. His eyes were sad now - I know it’s not exactly the same for me as it is for you, us being mates, but… - my heart was hammering right now. It’s not only men, who doesn’t like to talk about their feelings, I doesn’t like it too. I placed his hand above my heart and tried to calm it a little - I like you Derek, your wolf and human part, your insides and outsides, with all your flaws and all your beauty… - my head was spinning and I thought I was going to faint - And I don’t want it to be one-sided or forced or…

I wasn’t able to say anything more, because Derek claimed my mouth. He might be silent, but his kiss spoke a thousand words. I threw my arms around him and embraced him. He did the same and I felt I was in the right place. I never wanted to leave his arms or him to leave mine. I wanted him in my arms. Always. Forever.  
He moved away from me a little, just enough to place my hand above his heart. He looked into my eyes.

\- Me too, to all you said, I feel the same - he said quietly and searched my eyes for reaction. I tried to smile, but I believe it looked more pained than happy. 

I nodded and kissed him again. Slowly, sensually, lovingly… Was it love I felt? All those weird feelings I had inside myself, unknown, incomprehensible, confusing. I knew how it felt to be infatuated, but in love? No, I had no idea. That’s why I was scared and confused. I think, I have to wait and see what will happen…   
And I remembered what will happen, what might happen. I broke our kiss and sighed. Derek looked worried at me.

\- You need to know what happened… - I said serious.

Tangled in the comforter, I sat sideways in Derek’s lap, his back against the headboard. One hand on my waist, second on my thighs, I stroked his wrist. My side was to his chest and I leaned on him, my arm on the headboard, playing with imagined fiber that was sticking out of it.

I told him about me and Cora searching for him, Ennis’ death, failed suicides, Darach’s involvement and treat from Kali.   
When I asked him what happened after he fell, he said that he hid in a safe place and healed a little, but only enough to be able to found someone from his pack. He followed mine and Cora’s scents to the school and then he fainted. Next thing he remembered was waking up in his bed and my voice calling his name. Well, this was strange. Someone evidently helped him to came here and to heal his wounds, but Derek had no clue who it was, because he didn’t remember anything. I sighed.

\- Thank you for taking care of Cora - I smiled quickly and stroked his hair. He closed his eyes.

\- Derek… - he looked at me again - with all that had happened, with Kali going after you… - I clenched my fist - I’m not letting you go out of my sight - I looked hard into his eyes. He sighed.

\- I thought so. There’s no way I can make you change your mind? - he looked pleadingly into my still hard eyes. I shook my head - So what now? - he asked calmly, but I knew he didn’t like my idea. Well, I didn’t like the idea of him killing someone from his pack or Kali killing him. It was good we weren’t arguing about it.

\- Shower, eat, pick up Cora from school and let the kids come here and see you - I was already half way out of the bed.

\- Why do you think they will want to see me? - there was disbelieve in his voice. I lifted my brow at him.

\- Believe me, Scott will. The most - I smiled a knowing smile, wiggled my fingers at him and after he took my hand we went to the bathroom.

The shower was not without some sex. We couldn’t stop ourselves. The water running down his chiseled body made my stomach flip-flop and by the reaction of Derek’s body, the feeling was mutual.   
He slid into me from behind. In this case, it was the fastest way to make me come. 

\- Do you have any idea, what seeing you like this do to my wolf? - he breathed into my ear. I grinned and turned to him as much as I could.

\- I think I do - I said without much thinking - I took you from behind, remember? - the words were out my mouth and only then my mind processed what I had said. Derek was still and silent - Shit! Derek, I’m sorry, I… - his embrace on me tightened and he lightly bit my neck. I became still and silent too.

\- It’s ok - he said after a moment - It was you. If it’s you, it’s ok - he said calmly and kissed my neck. My eyes widened and I had to look into his. 

I turned and grabbed his head from behind, saw there calm and clashed our mouths in apologizing kiss. He moved and I met his hard thrusts with my hips. We climaxed together, again shouting each other’s name. I was sure, I left some scratches on the wall with my claws as I got lost in that moment.

 

I was at master’s level when it comes to prepare a meal from ingredients you would never thought might add together. So, while Derek was changing the bed linen, I made something to eat. We sat on the sofa and ate. He knew better not to complain about the food. I informed him the fridge is almost empty and groceries are calling him in desperate, haunting voices. He snorted and decided we might do them now, we still had some time before picking Cora from school.

So we went for groceries. It was interesting to see him do something so normal, so human. To see him interact, if only a little, with other people. It was nice when he asked what I wanted.   
I was wondering if we looked like those couples I always saw when I did my groceries alone. Some of them were so lovey-dovey (like my friend) I wanted to puke at their sight and others were like old married couples. There had to be something in between, right? Because I didn’t want to end like those couples I despised so much.

I noticed some girls and women looking at us, well, at Derek mostly. I felt their jealousy and arousal and I growled unconsciously. Derek looked at me warningly.

\- They were ogling you - I hissed with disgust. He smirked.

\- Now you know how I felt - he said as he leaned in to me. I had to think a little.

\- With Stiles? - he nodded - Oh c’mon, it was nothing - he lifted his brows at me - He’s a boy - I told him like it explained everything. Well, it haven’t and I had to say more - Stiles is a boy, you are a man. You play with the boy and then leave him alone. You care about the man and if he’s the right one, you don’t leave him - I looked at Derek. It was very simple to me, but sometimes people didn’t understand me.

\- It seems unfair for Stiles - he said honestly. I snorted.

\- Like you care about that matter. I had my time with him and now he’s more like brother to me - Derek knew I was telling the truth - But if you’re so concerned about him - I teased - I can play with him some more - I grinned.

\- No! - he said with anger and people in line looked at us for a moment. I lifted my brows.

\- I’m just teasing - I held his hand and stroked his wrist to calm him. It helped - Ok, you made your point. Are we ok now? - he just nodded.

It took us more time than we thought, so after the groceries we went straight to school.   
When Cora came out of the building, she was excited, but when she approached the car it decreased. I frowned. She was so eager to search for her brother then and now her attitude was so unenthusiastically. She stood in front of the driver’s door hesitantly. I lifted my brow at her. Derek nodded to her and she nodded back.

\- Hi Agnes - she said to me. I was astonished.

\- Hi - I greeted - That’s it? You just nod to each other? - Derek looked at me with “drop that” look and I did. For now.

How could he be so cold to her. She was his sister. I understood that they had some issues, but I knew Derek has feelings and emotions. And I spend the day with Cora (ok, I know it’s not too much) and I saw how she acted, I felt her feelings. How was it possible that when they were with me alone, they were more honest about their feelings, than when they were with each other?

We went to my apartment for Cora’s things and me to pack mine. I didn’t know how long I will be staying with them, so I packed for a week, just in case. In the meantime I got a reply from Stiles to a text I send him while we were still doing groceries.

\- Kids are in town. They will come by in the evening - I announced.

 

They really came. Scott, Stiles, Isaac and Boyd. I was sitting on the desk, facing the window and helping Cora with her homework, when they came. I smiled as I greeted with each of them.   
Scott gave Derek a bro-hug, which confused him, but I knew he was a little happy inside. He looked at me and I lifted my brow at him, saying “I told you so”.  
I hugged Stiles and felt his panic rose as he was afraid of Derek’s reaction. To be honest all of them tensed a little. I smirked.

\- Should I bring a knife? To cut this atmosphere? - I teased.

\- No, c’mon, no need to bring more pointy weapons to the room. It is enough they have those claws, ugh… - Stiles made an ugly face and I laughed. Oh, how I missed this kid.

After that, it was quite ok. We talked and decided Scott, Isaac and Boyd should stick together and avoid Derek. I warned them to be very careful, but they already were aware of that. When they asked what I was going to do, I said teasingly:

\- Babysit Hales - Derek growled at me and I just sticked out my tongue at him. The kids looked at me astonished - I’m his mate and won’t let that bitch Kali touch him - was all the explanation I gave them.

Stiles asked for help with Darach, but I had to decline. First, for some time now I had to be with Derek. It was not a girlfriend’s whim, it was what my Feline wanted and demanded, and I agreed to that. Second, what could I do? How was I supposed to help Stiles finding out who the Darach was? I didn’t like magic. Whenever I was close to it my natural reaction was to ran away from it, as far and as quickly as I could. In my opinion, if there was someone who could help with Darach, it was Deaton. He had the knowledge needed for it. He just didn’t want to share it. Or it might be Stiles or Lydia… I regarded him.

\- What? What is it?- Stiles asked as he felt uneasy under my gaze.

\- Go to Deaton and ask him to teach you those runes - he looked at me shocked. I lifted my brow at him.

\- Last time I checked, you weren’t so happy about this idea - he squinted at me.

\- But I decided to help, haven’t I? And we did some good job back there, with yoga, remember? - he nodded - You have the basics. Now go to Deaton for the first level - I smiled and patted his shoulders.

 

When the three of us were left alone, Derek ordered bedtime. I looked at him with disbelieve and he just said I can go to the bathroom after Cora. I laughed. It was amazing how we mothered one another, it was a pity his sister was caught in the crossfire.

We were lying in bed. Oh, I must say Derek’s bed was very comfortable, it was even more comfortable than my bed at my parent’s house. Or maybe it was more comfortable, because Derek was in it…  
He was on his back, stroking my hair and I was glued to his side. My head placed on his chest and my hand caressing his torso. 

\- What’s with you and Cora? - I asked calmly.

\- It’s complicated - he sighed.

\- I bet - I admitted - But she’s your sister, Derek, your family. And yes, you take care of her, but it won’t hurt to show her some feelings…

\- Maybe… I don’t know how - he said finally after a long pause and I looked at him.

\- What are you talking? You show me your feelings - I reasoned.

\- It’s different - I sighed and thought for a moment.

\- Maybe… you should recall how Laura took care of you, how she treated you and try it with Cora? - I stroked his cheek. I knew it still hurt him to talk about her. He looked at me and held my hand in his.

\- Maybe - he nodded. We kissed lightly as a goodnight and I quickly drifted off to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

The week I spend with the Hales was very… interesting, for the lack of a better word.

The next day, we dropped Cora to school and Derek drove me to work. I was serious, when I said I won’t let him out of my sight, so he sat on a bench next to the classroom I had classes, in the university hall. For a moment, I even had a thought to sit him inside the classroom with my students, but decided it would be too much. I suggested, he could go to the library, if he wanted, but he shook his head and showed me a book he took with him. I nodded and went to my students.  
I heard his steady breathing and heartbeat behind the wall that separated us. I also heard his snortm when I joked to my students, or felt his worry, when I got irritated as I had to repeat something over and over.

\- What? - I said to Derek as I exited the classroom and saw he was looking at me with something like appreciation.

\- It seemed you did pretty good job there - I regarded him.

\- Well, thank you - I smiled - But I still hate it - he raised his brows - My mother was a teacher, I’ve been having classes for three years now. I know exactly how hard this work is   
\- I explained - This group? I like them. But it’s good you haven’t been here last semester. I was worse than Armageddon - I wiggled my brows and grinned.

\- I think I can imagine - he said as he fell in pace with me.

I told my supervisor I’m taking a week off. When he asked if something was wrong, I told him I had to take care of some things regarding my family. I didn’t like to lie to him, but of course I couldn’t tell him the truth. And I wasn’t completely lying to him after all.  
I exited my department and saw Martin on the other side of the hall. I smiled to him and waved my hand at him. In his greeting, he nodded to me.

\- Who’s that? - Derek asked, rising from his spot on the bench. I couldn’t decide if this jealousy was making me more irritated or smile.

\- Martin, my friend - I said to him and we left the university.

I no longer felt anything for him. I realized it today. Well, I still liked him, but the deeper feelings I had for Martin were gone. And it didn’t hurt. For the first time it didn’t hurt. I sighed relieved and Derek looked at me worried. I just smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

 

I observed the siblings. Seriously, even when combined, both of them had worse social skills than one me. And believe me, I have bad social skills. While talking to people, I have to contain myself quite a lot to not punch them in the face. It was like the Hales tolerated each other, but nothing more.

Derek was preparing dinner while Cora did her homework. Well, she tried to do her homework, because she evidently had problem with something, but was too stubborn to ask for help. Oh, she had no idea how much alike she was with Derek.

\- Need a hand, Cora? - I asked as I stood up from the couch, where I read some articles for my PhD on my laptop. She looked at me.

\- Umm… I need to write an essay for English and I don’t know how to start - she frowned.

\- About? - she showed me the topic and I rose my brows - Oh, that’s totally not me - she looked at me down - Besides, I have terrible style, my mother always made a fuss about it - I grinned at the memory - But… I believe your brother might help… - I glanced at him and saw he turned and was looking at us. I lifted my brow.

\- After dinner - he just said and turned again. I grinned.

\- Now, don’t you have any homework from Math or Biology? - I asked her.

We ate to the sound on Nine Inch Nails’ Ghosts playing from my laptop. I suggested Derek it might be a good idea to buy a laptop for Cora to help her study… and to watch movies afterwards. He said he will think about it. I smiled.  
Kala came at the smell of food and I wanted to give her some of my meat, but Derek stopped me.

\- Don’t place it on the floor - he admonished me and I lifted my brows - She has her bowl - he rose from the sofa and went for it. I looked at Cora, surprised.

He was back and gave me the bowl. I put the meat in it and placed in front of Kala. She dig into it immediately. I stroked her fur.

\- Daddy don’t want you to lose your good manners, does he? - I said teasingly. Cora almost chocked on her food and Derek was stone faced, but with shocked eyes bored into me. I laughed - Sorry - I said as I contained myself - It slipped out. But the food is very good - I said honestly.

\- You just say it to humour me - he said not looking at me.

\- No, I say it because it’s true. The meat is very tasty. Cora, what do you think?

\- Yeah, it’s good - she said with her head bowed. Not because she lied, we knew she didn’t, but because she was embarrassed by saying it.

Derek also hid his eyes, but I knew he was a little proud because of the compliment. 

\- You’re both unbelievable - I shook my head and shushed Cora to help me do the dishes - You want coffee? - I asked him as I touched his knee.

\- No, water - he smiled lightly at me and I smiled back.

So, as Derek said, after dinner he helped Cora with her essay. I was still reading on my laptop, but observed them with the corner of my eye. I knew she was amazed by the fact he had the knowledge to help her, but she never showed it. She just said awkward “Thanks” when they finished. And he just nodded his head, but inside was a little happy. Was it only me who saw and felt it? Was it only because of my empathy, that I noticed it and they didn’t? Or were they so blinded, and I had no idea by what, that they couldn’t see it?

We watched a movie and due to our established order, Cora went first to the bathroom. I made myself more comfortable on the sofa and stretched. Then fidgeted some to find the right position and finally ended with my legs placed over Derek’s and my arm over the back of the sofa.

\- If I haven’t known you’re a werecat, I would definitely suspect something now - he said with his brow lifted at me - You’re just like Kala - I grinned at him.

\- So, one day down. You think you’ll be able to stand more with me? - I said lightly, but in fact I was a little worried. 

He wanted to say something, but then stopped. Thought again and spoke:

\- Yeah - I narrowed my eyes at him. He noticed that, but chose not to react.

\- Derek… - I warned him. He huffed.

\- You wouldn’t like what I wanted to say - I lifted my brows at him - It’s about mates.

\- What about it? - he looked at me like he really was afraid of my reaction. I blinked - Ok, now you’re starting to irritate me - I said seriously and moved so he was cornered by the couch and me - Talk - I said as I towered over him.

\- I wanted to say that you’re my mate so I will have to stand you all my life - he said a little defiantly, but I understood why he hesitated. I nodded.

\- But the question is: have to stand me or like to spend with? - I looked deep into his eyes.

\- You know the answer - he whispered.

\- Show me - I whispered back. Our faces millimeters apart.

He clashed his mouth with mine and I killed a moan as shivers ran down my spine. I felt Derek’s body shiver, too. I haven’t tasted him the whole day and was already very desperate for him as he was for me. I thought my sexual appetite was fed by amazing sex we had yesterday, but I was obviously mistaken. And as grown-ups, I thought we will be able to contain ourselves, and not act like horny teenagers.   
Teenagers… Cora… I broke the kiss with regret. We were both gasping. The air was already filled with desire and only my sympathy for Cora and some residual decency stopped me from tearing our clothes and riding Derek here and now.

\- You should always say what you think, Derek, whether it upsets me or not - I was still looking into his eyes - It’s the basis of trust and you trust me, right? - I lightly touched his cheek. He nodded - Then remember that - I lightly kissed him and was gone.

I left him there, motionless and lost in his thoughts, and went to wait by the bathroom’s door, but Cora was already exiting. 

I earnestly tried to fall asleep before he got to bed, but it was in vain. I laid on my right side and had felt the mattress lowering under Derek’s weight, but I haven’t felt his warmth right next to me. Good, he understood. I wasn’t angry at him, he knew that, but we needed to keep this distance between us right now, because if not… all hell could break loose.

 

***

 

I woke up to a weird feeling on my belly… Something wet… Kala, I thought and reached to check, if I was right. I ran my fingers through soft hair and murmured with a smile, but then felt something weird on my skin again. This time it was scratchy yet soft at the same time. In my head, I recalled all the feelings a cat can leave on my body and it didn’t match to any of them. I opened my eyes in an instant and was welcomed with a sight of him smiling at me, his chin on my belly, rubbing.

\- Derek? - I said in a sleepy voice - What are you doing? - I rubbed my eyes.

\- Finishing what we’ve started yesterday - he started climbing on me. I was booting the system called my brain slowly.

\- Where’s Cora? - I asked worried.

\- School - he answered calmly.

\- You went without me? - I rose my voice and myself to my elbows.

\- It’s morning, they won’t attack - he assured me, but I was still frowning. He bowed his head - I’m sorry… but you were sleeping and I… - I cradled his face in my hands.

\- Just don’t do that again, ok? - I whispered, but my voice was firm. He nodded and kissed me hesitantly, apologetically.

\- Is it still safe? - I bit my lip and he knew what I had in mind. He nodded and I smiled widely.

I kissed him passionately. My body waking up to his scent, this touch, his everything. We had couple of hours for ourselves and I wanted to get to know his body more, to cherish it, to cherish him. I slid my hands under his jersey and he made the kiss more demanding, his desire shooting up. I murmured and broke the kiss to take his top off. I purred at the sight of his naked chest. I moved up and ran my hands along his muscles, remembering every plane and crook of his body. He wanted to take off my top, but I stopped him.

\- Not yet - I said with a simple smile and kissed his stomach.

I unbuckled his belt and his jeans, revealing more of his happy trail and this marvelous V made by muscles on his pelvis. Gods, that was my favorite place on a man’s body. I wanted to lick it, bite it, kiss it… And that’s exactly what I did. First one side, then the other. Derek was breathing heavy and I could see the bulge in his briefs getting bigger and bigger. I grinned.

\- Lay on your back - I said calmly, but he knew this time I was the one in control.

I stripped him completely and admired his beautiful body. I wasn’t going to kiss him inch by inch like he did to me, but I had some ideas how to pleasure him, not only for today, it was a long-term plan.  
I stroked/massaged his legs from his foot to his groin, but just before I touched his almost hard penis, I stood up. I hovered over him, my legs at his sides, and took off my top, slowly, smiling at him and trying not to lose eye contact. I did the same with the bottom of my pajama. We looked at each other from a new perspective. I dropped at him and for a moment I saw fear for me in his eyes at my sudden move.   
I grinned and ran my hands up his chest, then licked and nipped at his collarbone, neck, earlobe and jaw. His hands on my legs, caressing. I placed my thumb on his slightly parted lips and pulled his lower lip down a little, leaned and almost kissed him, but pulled back the last second. He growled and clenched his fingers on my thighs. I laughed and leaned again, but he haven’t moved this time.

\- Take it - He watched me carefully first and then quickly claimed my mouth.

I made sure he won’t roll us. I took his hands from my body and moved them above his head, laced our fingers together and kissed him still. Then I ran my hands down his arms and made my way down south. I kissed his chin, sucked at his Adam’s apple, which earned me a gasp from him, stroked/massaged his pecs. When I bit his nipples he hissed, but in truth I felt pleasure inside him, then I licked and kissed them.   
I scratched his abs up to down. He arched his back and whined. I widened my eyes at it. Derek Hale, the Alpha, just whined at the feeling of my nails on him. I shuddered at that thought. He looked at me perplexed, his own reaction surprised him. I smiled at him and wiggled my brows. I licked the reddened skin, nipped and kissed it. And finally, after this detour through his body, I came to my destination - his hard member.  
I never particularly liked taking it into my mouth. I did that because I knew men liked it, but it never brought me pleasure. But this time was definitely different. I very much wanted to taste him like that, to touch him, kiss, lick and suck. And I did. I stroked him, caressed his testicles, then took them into my mouth and sucked. I licked every inch of his member nipping at his groin, when I was at the base. Derek was gasping, sometimes held his breath, hissed. I felt his pleasure and desire. I smiled and took as much of him as I could into my mouth. I never was good at it, because I always choked, but this time I tried harder, it was for him, after all. I was gasping, when I pulled back and saw worry in Derek’s eyes. He wanted to reach out for me, but I stopped him.

\- Don’t. Don’t touch my head while I’m doing this - I warned him still gasping. Incomprehension flashed his face for a moment, but then he just nodded.

I did some research yet when I had my sessions with Stiles. Research about oral sex. I learned some interesting things and now I wanted to try them with Derek. I massaged, stroked and caressed his penis in ways I read and saw on videos. The response I got from him was incredible. He moaned, arched his back and called my name. Shivers run down my body making my lady parts jump. I purred.

\- C’mon Derek, come - I knew he was restraining himself - For me - I added with seductive eyes and smile.

I took him in my mouth once again, sucked, played with his head and testicles, stroked him with effort and finally felt his orgasm before it hit him. He clenched his fingers on the sheets, threw his head back and groaned, while I felt his hot seed filling my mouth. I moaned. I myself could climax just from seeing him orgasm, feeling it, tasting his sweet-salty semen. I closed my eyes and swallowed what he had given me. I never liked that taste, but as I said before, this time it was different, this time I savored the taste.   
I licked him clean and when I lifted my head to look at him, there was a lot of emotions on his face, in his eyes. I smiled at him and started climbing up to reach his mouth, but I was met by his lips midway. All of his emotions flowing to me through our kiss, but soon there was more. He rolled us and I was captured between the bed and his sweaty body. I didn’t mind.

I learned how to turn off my empathy, but in moments like this it didn’t work. I was overflowed by his emotions. It was like they poured through his skin and got into me by mere touch or breath. No, wrong. They were penetrating me through all of my body. I moaned, but broke the kiss. It was too much, I was overwhelmed.

\- Derek, I… - I breathed into his mouth.

\- I know… me too - he put his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. I did the same, his hot body lying on top of mine.

After we cooled down a little, he wanted to make up to me and started going down my body, but I stopped him.

\- It’s for you this time - I smiled and stroked his disheveled hair. He smiled too and kissed me above my heart. It skipped a beat.

As always when he entered me, I arched my back. Oh, it was so wonderful to feel him inside me again, I missed it. He was such a talented and passionate lover, I always dreamed about having. The fact that Derek could smell my emotions and that I could actually feel his, was a very useful thing in bed. Thanks to that we knew who liked what, when we were at the edge and our pleasure was almost doubled. 

I was kneeling on the pillow and my other leg was stretched and placed on the bed’s headboard, on which also my elbows were resting. I was waiting for him to slid into me, but instead he kneeled and licked me, holding my ass cheeks firmly. I moaned, because we haven’t tried this angle yet, but then growled playfully and shook my buttocks a little, showing my impatience. He chuckled and entered me.

\- You couldn’t resist, hmm? - I asked as I ran my hand through his hair.

\- No - he placed his strong arm around my breasts and squeezed one of them. He thrust harder and brought us both to orgasm. 

 

***

 

We fixed up some kind of a plan of the day. Drive Cora to school, do groceries, shopping or take a walk, to not go crazy being in the loft all of the time. Then, I usually worked on my laptop, while Derek worked out. I liked to stop and just watch him doing the exercises and when a drop of sweat was running down his back and I wanted to lick it, he would growl in a warning. I just pouted and got back to work or read an e-book. Sometimes, I joined him and we trained together. Then we were picking Cora up from school and talk some with the kids. Once, I noticed the twins regarding us thoughtfully. I wanted to growl at them, but Derek stopped me, so I just glared.

Derek did most of the cooking, and me and Cora did the dishes, but I cooked once or twice.   
Glitch Mob’s Drink the Sea album was playing on my laptop, Cora was doing her homework and Derek helped her from time to time, while I was checking if the rice was good enough to eat. The rest of the food was ready, chicken fried along with the vegetables and I even made a fruit jelly, because I wanted something sweet for desert. I was wearing my favorite jeans bell bottoms and loose black t-shirt, hair in a messy bun. I was barefoot. I love to walk barefoot. I didn’t care if my feet would get dirty, because when I’m barefoot I feel more relaxed, more free, and when I put my shoes on, I feel like that freedom is taken away from me… So, I don’t like to wear shoes.

I started to snap my fingers to the rhythm of the track, then I used my heel to do that. It made my hip bump and I swung my hips left to right. I moved my ribcage, my breasts jumping a little. I snapped my fingers again, moved my hands up, and when melody changed, did floreos and some freestyle moves with my hands, matching the music. I made very accented hip bumps, but when music lowered I became almost motionless, then did isolations with my hips, raising my arms above my head for better effect, and made a turn. Music changed again and I moved more like in a dance club, releasing my energy and losing myself in the music, my body reacting to the melody and beat.

As always when I danced, I forgot about people around me and when I finally stopped I was met by two amazed Hale faces. Derek’s heart was beating fast and like the last time he saw me dancing, I could feel his desire. Cora’s mouth was ajar and I wanted to laugh at her, so I just turned and checked the rice. Oh look, it was good. 

\- Where did you learn to dance like this? - I heard her ask.

\- In a dance school and on my own - I answered simply.

\- On your own? - she repeated like a parrot.

\- Yeah… When you hear the music and feel the need to move… Then all you have to do is to learn some moves and dance, dance and dance - I smiled at her - Diner is ready.

This time Derek did the dishes and I told Cora that if she wants, I can show her some moves. She blushed and said that she probably would move like a log of wood. I smiled and said that from a log of wood you can do a canoe, that flows on the river like a dancer flows on the dance floor. She looked at me amazed again and I just wiggled my brows at her. 

After dinner we usually helped Cora with her homework or she trained with Derek and I would work some more or read a book or take a nap. Yeah, getting up early took its toll on me and I had to nap sometimes. Then they would wake me up and ask to watch a movie. They had some catching up to do when it came to the world’s cinematography, but I was more than happy to help them with it. It was one of my interests. Cinematography. When I was still in primary school, I wanted to be a part of a movie crew in the future, but couldn’t decide what exactly I wanted to do. But then came high school and everything changed.  
So, sometimes we watched two movies in a row. I was usually in the middle, on the sofa, side to side with Derek, my head leaning on his arm placed at the back of the sofa, laptop on my legs. Cora on my other side, some room usually left between us, but sometimes she would place her head on my shoulder, and sometimes I would put my arm around her and hug her.

Then was bed time. Gods, it sounds like a summer camp. Cora used the bathroom firs and then it was me and Derek, together. We decided that the loft can’t smell like sex every day or two, so we moved our alone time to the late evenings in the bathroom. It wasn’t sex every time. It was bathing together, making out on the sink counter and some other evening it would be sex in the shower. But only after I had a conversation about it with Cora.

\- Cora, I want to talk about something with you - I started a little nervous, when I was in her room. She looked at me.

\- If it’s about birds and bees, then don’t worry, I’m not interested in guys - she said casually and I almost tripped, because seriously, I never wanted to have that talk with anyone.

\- In girls then? - I joked with a stone face, but she looked at me shocked - What? It would be ok if you liked girls - I said honestly. She rolled her eyes.

\- I like guys. I just don’t think about them yet - she explained.

\- Ok, good. But still, I have to talk with you… - I searched the right words and decided to choose the simplest - about your brother and me.

\- What about you and him? - she sat on her bed and looked at me.

\- I won’t sugarcoat, because you’re not a child - she nodded - We want to have sex, tonight, in the bathroom - her eyes went wide - And I apologize in advance for anything you might hear or smell, because it will probably feel like you caught your parents red-handed - I squinted - Not that I compare myself to your mother… Shit, Cora, tell me you understand - I almost pleaded.

\- I don’t mind, you’re mates after all - she shrugged and I turned my head to the left.

\- That’s it? The “mates thing” does the trick? - I was shocked. If only it would do the job with other things in my life.

\- Yeah… I guess - she shrugged again - You love each other and that’s how you show it, right? - I sighed and sat next to her.

\- It’s not that simple - she frowned at me - Listen to me carefully, Cora - I touched her arm - In human's world there is nothing like this unconditional, everlasting love you werewolves have. In human’s world there is a man and a woman, they come together, but they never become one. Even during sex. Deep down, they always think about themselves. Don’t ever fall in love with a human - I warned her - I hope there is a wolf mate for you and with him you will find the true meaning of the feeling called love - I told her honestly.

\- What do you mean “true meaning”? - she frowned at me.

\- Love is not sunshine and daisies - I smiled sadly at her.

\- But you and Derek… - she didn’t understand.

\- Cora… I have told you that I know him four months, right? - she nodded - And for three I wanted to rip his throat out - she looked shocked at me.

\- What?! How? You’re mates! You… - I cut her off.

\- We haven’t claimed each other… And… he rejected me twice, he almost died twice, I saw him with a hole in his chest, bloodied, he was constantly angry, irritated… - I started counting and her eyes got bigger and bigger - Life is not sunshine and daisies, life is a sinusoid. There are happy moments and crappy moments. And you have to learn how to take the most from the happy ones and how to survive the crappy ones. And it’s the same with love. Today, we have sex and the other I might watch him die again - I tugged her hair behind her ear - I’m not telling this to you to get you down, but for you to realize. The sooner you get it, the less disappointment life will be for you… - I ran my hand along her back to soothe her a little - I can braid your hair sometime, if you want - I said to loosen the atmosphere smiling softly at her.

\- Yeah… it would be nice - she said, but her thoughts were somewhere else.

\- Goodnight Cora - I got up and squeezed her shoulder.

\- Goodnight Agnes.

It might look like we played wife and husband, but it was nothing like that. We had the opportunity to know each other. If we were spending the rest of our lives together, it was a very valuable time for us.

 

***

 

Stiles visited us once. Me and Derek were watching the beautifully pink sky as the sun was beginning to set. I was sitting on the desk and he was leaned on it between my legs. My arms around his chest, hugging him, and my chin on his shoulder. One of his hands placed on my thigh, second on my hand, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. It was so peacefully. It completely didn’t feel like we were waiting for a vengeful Alpha.  
We both stirred as we heard and felt someone’s presence downstairs, but after we focused, it occurred it was only Stiles. 

\- He said no - Stiles was pacing and tearing his hair out - He said frigging no, how could he said no? - he was talking about Deaton refusing to teach him runes. I lifted my brow, my face not amazed in a bit - You knew he’ll say that?

\- I suspected - I admitted honestly - He doesn’t like to share his knowledge.

\- Yeah, I noticed - he moved to the desk I was still sitting on - But he did help when two teachers got missing - I nodded - and told about the groups of sacrifices. And he had helped us earlier, when you werent in our little werewolf league - I smiled under my nose - Are you sure me and Lydia are like him? Because, seriously, this whole Obi Wan Kenobi thing is freaking me out - he flailed his hands and I chuckled. Derek turned from the window with stone face and lifted brow.

\- No. At first, I thought I was sure, but now I think I might be mistaken. But I’m thinking about something else. Why out of the blue he decided to help you?

\- I don’t know. I just went to him and started talking and he already knew everything - he spread his arms out - Wait! He said something about pushing away something that happened ten years ago, about denying and lying about it - I rose my brows at that and turned to Derek.

\- Any idea what it might be? - he thought for a moment and then shook his head.

\- No. Till last year I didn’t even know he was helping my mother - I nodded.

\- Listen Stiles, I think the key is Deaton and the school - he looked at me weirdly.

\- Why the school - Cora asked from the couch.

\- Two missing teachers, taken straight from school, wolfsbane in coach’s whistle, I think someone from school slipped it there, Derek fainted at the school’s parking and he doesn’t remember anything - I counted - It all leads to your school.

\- Maybe you should teach in our school as a substitute teacher and you know, investigate this murders from the inside? - Stiles was already excited by this thought, while Cora and Derek rolled their eyes.

\- If I taught in your school the number of murders would drastically increase - I warned and made a point his idea was rather stupid.

\- Then what do we do? - he was desperate.

\- Deaton, make him talk. If not to you then maybe Scott or your dad, because he won’t talk to me, I know that already.

 

We were having a bath. Derek was already in the tub, waiting for me and observing, while I tied my hair in a messy bun. He gave me his hand and helped to get into. I sighed as I sank my body in the hot water and sat on Derek’s lap, his arms embracing me in an instant. I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder, my face in its crook. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. It was so nice. I felt him smile too. 

I didn’t know how long we sat like that, was it 5 minutes or 25, it really didn’t matter. But probably as long as it takes water to cool down, because then Derek started to wash me. I love when he washed me. The feeling of his hands on me along with the feeling of water around me was very relaxing and intimate. I murmured and he kissed the nape of my neck as he was washing my back. A shiver ran down my spine and ended as a knot in my belly, but it had nothing to do with sexual desire, it was something different, something I didn’t understand… And then, just like that, without thinking I started to sing quietly:

I know I'm ready for your love   
I just don't understand it   
There is a silent pact of trust   
That I never could admit…

I fell silent, almost terrified by what I just let out of my mouth. My heart started to beat faster and I got nervous. It was not because it was a lie, but because it was the truth. I sang it, because it expressed my feelings, that I didn’t know how to say. But was it really love I felt? I cared for Derek, is that enough to call it love? I didn’t know. I didn’t know how love feels and that is why I was so afraid of it.  
Derek’s hand placed above my heart got me out of my thoughts. I looked at him. His face had this sad/worried expression. He always was like that when something about me worried him.

\- Sing the whole song - he said calmly and I widened my eyes - Please - he stroked my cheek.

I frowned for a moment and believe there appeared some tics on my face, but Derek just waited for me, not irritated or angry. I calmed down and recalled the lyrics, my voice was quiet but melodic.

Tell me something that I know   
Just something that I understand   
I need to taste the warming glow   
Of your medicating hands   
I know I'm ready for your love   
I just don't understand it   
There is a silent pact of trust   
That I never could admit   
That I never could 

So now I'm telling you the reason I'm all messed up,   
Just have to look me in the eyes and I fall apart   
Please let me hold you till I know we're both through this   
I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms 

You look so fragile I could break   
But I try to hold myself   
Together for the both of us   
But in truth I'm just as scared   
I just wanna watch you sleep   
As you lie here beside me   
So close your eyes, I'll guard the door   
And when you wake you'll wake with me   
And when you wake you'll 

So now I'm telling you the reason I'm all messed up   
Just have to look me in the eye and I fall apart   
Please let me hold you till I know we're both through this   
I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms

I fell silent again and didn’t know what to do, so I started washing him.

\- Do you think I’m fragile? - he asked quietly after some time. I looked him in the eyes.

\- Gods, no. You’re gentle Derek, not fragile - I stroked his cheek - And it’s just a song…

\- But you don’t sing songs without a meaning… - how did he know that? I nodded slowly.

\- And I usually sing when I’m happy - I admitted - How did you know? - he smiled a sad smile.

\- Laura did the same - I rose my brows - But her voice was hundred times worse than yours - he looked like he was remembering it.

\- I suppose it was a compliment? - he looked at me and I tried to smile.

\- It was - he nodded and corners of his mouth turned up a little. I kissed one of them.

\- Thank you - I whispered and made my mind - Derek? - I looked at him - But I mean the rest - I watched him closely - And I mean that I don’t understand that feeling, it scares me - I admitted. He cradled me in his arms.

\- Me too - he said snuggling his face into my neck and kissing it.


	21. Chapter 21

I was back at work and during classes, thinking about what happened yesterday. Two taken doctors from the hospital, one already dead, and Danny throwing up with mistletoe. I stared through the window and bit my nail. I was irritated and disturbed. I wanted to be out of work as soon as possible and back in the loft, with Derek.  
My phone vibrated on my desk. I left my students and answered it in the hall.

\- Deaton’s been taken - Stiles blurted out instead of a greeting. I frowned.

\- As another sacrifice? - I slumped on a bench.

\- No, as a candidate to a world’s miss - was his sarcastic reply - Of course as a sacrifice - I could imagine him flailing his hands. I huffed.

\- How do you know? - I rubbed my temple.

\- He called Scott - I rose my brows - Listen, can you get here? The clinic or school? I could really use your help, Agnes… please - there was desperation in his voice. And fear. I placed my head against the wall and huffed again.

\- Ok - I said finally - but I have to finish my classes first.

\- Ok, ok, thanks… - I could hear his father in the distance and Stiles ended the call abruptly.

As I said, I finished my classes and had to lie to my supervisor again. He started suspecting something was wrong because of how many days I was absent at work. I told him I have problems that are not easy to dealt with and assured I will continue my classes and my PhD, of course.  
I called Derek to tell him I’m going to the kid’s school and he told me about the Alpha’s symbol painted on his window. I stopped mid step.

\- Derek… - there was a warning, worry and irritation in my voice.

\- I’m with Isaac and Boyd - I rose my brow - Go help Stiles and come in the evening - he said to me.

\- Derek… - this time it was a plea.

\- I’m fine, go help them - he said with more force, but not ordering me, and ended the call.

I frowned and looked at my phone. I wanted to smash it on the ground to release some irritation, but restrained myself. It had cost too much.

 

I stepped into the school’s building and already regretted it. I hated high school. Those were the worst years of my life. Because of the teachers and because of the teens. And because of myself. I didn’t like myself back then and stepping in that same atmosphere now was not doing any good to me.  
I found the class, Stiles texted me about, and saw him, Cora and Lydia around one of the desks. Between them was an Ouija board. I lifted my brow at that.

\- You came - Stiles said little nervous and happy at the same time. 

\- Yeah - it was evident I wanted to be somewhere else - Hi - I said to all of them and then asked Cora - Do you know about the symbol on the window? - she just nodded and I sighed - What are you doing? - I motioned the board.

\- Wasting time - Cora said bored. I glared at her.

\- I agree - said Lydia and pouted. Oh, I have forgotten how princes-like she always acted.

\- For God’s sake - Stiles started to flail his hands - Morrell said you might be the only person who can find him - I frowned.

\- Who is Morrell?

\- Deaton’s sister and schools’ guiding council - Stiles filled me in and I frowned again.

\- I hate guiding councils - the three of them looked at me weirdly.

\- Ok… - Stiles pulled something out from his pocket - These are Deaton’s keys for the clinic - they were hanging on his finger in front of Lydia’s face - Close your eyes and I’m gonna put them in your hand and then we’re just gonna try and see if you can feel out for his location - she made an unimpressed face - It’s called psychometry…

\- I’m not a psychic - the teen pointed and I started to think how wrong I was in my judgment about her and Stiles… But they definitely smelled different than humans.

\- You’re something! Okay? - Stiles lost his nerves and I touched his hand. Cora rolled her eyes, but remained silent.

\- Just do it, Lydia - I said surprisingly calm.

Unsurprisingly, the experiment with keys was a fiasco. I even hold them for a moment, but haven’t felt anything. I started thinking.

\- Lydia, did Deaton do anything more after he gave you those books to read? - I turned my head to the side and regarded her. She shook her head.

\- When I went to return them and asked if he’s going to borrow me some more, he said there is time and I don’t need to worry about it - she shrugged.

\- That bastard… - my anger rose - He’s playing for time and keeps us in the dark, but when the ground shifts under his feet he unceremoniously asks for help - I bailed my fists and my knuckled became white.

\- So what? We’re just gonna let him die? - Stiles spread his arms out - I remind you he did help us - I glanced at him.

\- And that’s the only reason we’ll try to help him, because he might help us again. But I, personally, don’t trust him - I was starting to feel more disturbed and restless. And I didn’t like it, not a bit.

Stiles picked a pencil and gave it to Lydia. She started to draw something and it occurred to me it’s a tree.

\- The tree of life - it was the first thought that popped into my mind. Teens looked at me weirdly - There's a movie with that title - I explained although it didn’t mean anything to them - But from my perspective it looks also like roots under ground - I moved from the table.

\- Does it mean he’s buried somewhere under a tree? - Stiles asked with hope.

\- I don’t know - I shrugged - But I can’t stay here longer, Stiles. I have to go - I looked at him with sorry eyes and he huffed.

\- Yeah, I know - he was down.

\- Are you going to Derek? - Cora asked and I just nodded.

I was exiting the class, leaving them arguing, when I came face to face with Scott. He was holding his left shoulder and under his fingers was blood. I frowned and growled.

\- Who did this to you? - I asked dangerously, but a suspect was already in my mind - Deucalion? - he lifted his brows at me.

\- How did you know?

\- Because only he would have the nerve to do it in a bright day - I was already in the hall, trying to catch his scent.

I didn’t know if he was the reason I was so disturbed. I walked the halls and was more and more irritated. I think Deucalion was long gone and I should probably do the same.   
I was heading to the exit, when I felt something weird. It was that feeling like something was off and out of place. I picked up my pace, but suddenly felt extremely weak and almost fell to the floor. It didn’t happen, because I was grabbed by two strong arms. Before I blacked out, I thought I saw the faces of those Alpha twins…

 

I felt like I had a migraine attack except my head wasn’t in pain. I had no strength in me, but it didn’t bother my body as I wanted to throw up constantly. I was powerless and lifeless. I didn’t understand why some hands were holding me, moving my body, making me walk, when all I wanted was to lay down and sleep. My eyes were blindfolded and I couldn’t use my other senses because I simply didn’t have the strength to even think about it. I was like a puppet, which was moved the way the puppeteer wanted.  
Suddenly the blindfold was taken off, but I still couldn’t see anything. My sight was blurred. It was dark around me and I think I heard voices. A woman’s and a man’s. The second reminded me of something, but I was too weak to think what it was. Then were snarls and the sound of water. I remembered the water calms me.

I tried to fight with that overwhelming weakness. I concentrated on it and though my breaths became shorter and more ragged, I felt it subsided. My hearing was getting better, along with my sight and when I heard a roar everything went back. I was back.

\- Derek! - I shouted from the top of my lungs, but it probably was just a hoarse word for the rest of them.

I recognized all of them. Derek was fighting with Kali in his loft turned onto a poll. I was held by the twins and could feel Isaac and Boyd somewhere to my right. Where was the rest? Where was Cora, Scott, Stiles and Lydia?  
I started to struggle with the teens, but it was in vain. I was still not in my full strength. As I got more and more frustrated, I felt my Feline waking up. Finally. It was about time. I noticed Isaac running towards me and then water sparkled with electricity.

\- No! - I shouted again and reached my arms in Derek’s direction, but Isaac grabbed me.

Now I struggled with him as I wanted to move to Derek, but he just hugged and shushed me, making circles on my back. The twins were watching carefully what was happening in the middle of the loft as Derek, Kali and Boyd were electrocuted.

\- Take him! - Kali shouted and I knew something bad was going to happen.

Each of two boys grabbed Derek’s hand and moved it up, his claws on display. Kali grabbed Boyd and moved with him to them. I already knew what she was going to do.

\- No! Gods, no! - I shouted and struggled with Isaac with new force. I should have killed her when I had the chance. I should have fucking killed her.

When that bitch threw Boyd on Derek’s claws Isaac hid his face in my hair and tightened his grip on me, while I looked at it all with eyes wide open and muttered curses. The air around me vibrated with electricity and I was afraid it might hurt him.

\- I’m giving you till the next full moon, Derek - the bitch said as she turned her back to him and moved closer to me - Make the smart choice. Join the pack or next time I’m killing all of you -   
she turned to him again and I had to fight the urge to jump her back and break her spine - Not so tough now, hmm kitty? - she said menacingly as she walked past me. I snarled at her and would make a move, but Isaac was smarter than me in that moment and stopped me.

The twins moving behind her and leaving the loft quickly. I watched Derek, shocked about what he just was made to do and wanted to cry, but there was no strength in me to cry. I was wracked. I leaned on Isaac, lifeless. I couldn’t even feel Boyd’s pain or Derek’s grief.

\- It’s ok - Boyd said with one of his last breaths.

\- No, no. No, it’s not. It’s not - Derek repeated, like I earlier repeated curses.

\- It’s all ok, Derek - Gods, I’m gonna miss this kid so much.

\- I’m… I’m sorry - Derek said and I felt a sting in my heart. My empathy was working again or was it the connection I had with Derek?

\- The full moon. That feeling… That was worth it - the kid said like he tried to soothe Derek. Like he wasn’t dying in his arms just now. I wanted to crawl to them and hug them both - There’s a lunar eclipse. I always wondered what… what that felt like for one of us…

He slumped lifelessly to the floor… or maybe Derek didn’t have any more strength to hold him. He stared at his hands and regretted he had them as they brought death to this kid. I whined. At Boyd’s death, Derek’s grief and my helplessness.  
I started to free myself from Isaac’s embrace, when Stiles, Cora and Lydia showed. Cora ran to Boyd, held his body in her arms and started crying. Her grief added to mine and Derek’s in my heart. Stiles ran to Derek, moved his hand, but then stopped. He looked at me like he was waiting for my permission, I nodded and he placed his hand on Derek’s shoulder and squeezed it. It was good someone finally touched him. If I could I would do it ages ago, but was too weak to move.

Derek’s hands shook and I didn’t know if he was crying, because his face was already wet from water he fought in. With a corner of my eye I noticed Lydia leaning on the door. I freed myself with ease from Isaac as he was no longer hugging me so tightly and started to crawl down those couple stairs.

\- Derek… - I called him with pained voice and he turned his head in my direction, finally noticing there are others in the loft, except him and Boyd.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out of it. I looked at him with sad eyes, it was sadness for him. He too crawled in my direction, like he had no strength to stood up. When he finally was within my reach I embraced him as tightly as I was able right now. He was wet and cold, but I didn’t care. He was in my arms, safe and that counted. It somehow gave me strength or maybe whatever it was that caused me to be so weak stopped working.  
I moved back to look into his eyes. They were restless. I cradled his face in my hands and stroked his cold cheeks with my thumbs. He was shaking. Wanted to say something, but I stopped him.

\- I know, I know - in fact, I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. I just said that to calm him a little. To calm this scared boy he suddenly became and I wanted to take care of - Isaac, you have the car? - I don’t know if it was the Alpha female status that was kicking in, but I started to act.

\- Yeah… - he was little crestfallen.

\- Take it and help Cora leave Boyd’s body in the woods - all of them looked at me - I’m sorry, but I think it has to be like that. Then drive her to my place - I turned to Cora - You and Derek are staying with me tonight - she just nodded - Stiles, can you drive us to my place? And then drive Lydia home - he nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

\- I’ll call Scott and ask if he found Deaton - I nodded, but honestly didn’t care about it.

\- And someone do something with that water… - I said into air and was surprised Lydia stepped into the water and started to do something.

 

The ride to my apartment was quiet. Even Stiles wasn’t saying anything. Me and Derek were in the back, tugged in an old blanked Stiles had in his jeep, but in that moment it was the best blanket I had ever seen in my life. I regained some of my strength and was hugging Derek more firmly now, rubbing his arms to made him a little warmer and to soothe him. He was still in shock and absent minded.

I had to lie to Monica and Paul that there has been an accident in Derek’s apartment and he and his sister are going to spend the night in our apartment. Well, it wasn’t entirely a lie. Paul immediately went to the living room and prepared the spare bed for Cora and I sat Derek on the toilet and started to fill the tub with hot water.

\- I killed him… - he said quietly as I bustled around the bathroom. I froze and listened if any one of my roommates was nearby.

\- No, you didn’t. It was Kali - I took his face in my hands and made him look at me - You understand, Derek? It was her, not you - I whispered with force. He frowned.

\- But…?

\- No buts. It was her - I ran my hand through his hair - Jesus Christ, Derek, you can’t take another burden on yourself. You can’t blame yourself for another thing baby… - I shook my head and almost stomped my foot. I was so worried and sad for him. I wanted to protect him from everything, but knew it was impossible.

I felt his inner pain and it took my breath away. I whined and he put his shaking hands around me. Only then I remembered he was still cold.  
I quickly undressed him and put into the hot water. His skin became bright pink from the temperature. As I washed him, I kissed his cheek, neck, shoulder and his hands. It was to say to him: it’s ok; you’re safe now; I’ll take care of you; you don’t have to worry; I’m here with you and for you.  
The water was still warm. I sat on the edge of the toilet and placed my chin on his arm stretched on the tub rim. I stroked it and he stroked my wrist with his other hand. Our faces as close as possible. I stroked his hair. I wanted to find the words to soothe him more, but couldn’t… and then I found them:

And if the darkness is to keep us apart   
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off   
And if your glass heart should crack   
Before the second you turn back   
Oh no, be strong 

Walk on   
Walk on   
What you got, they can't steal it   
No they can't even feel it 

Walk on   
Walk on   
Stay safe tonight…

I stopped whispering to the melody of “Walk on” by U2 and kissed his arm. He looked at me and whispered back:

\- I love you…

I froze and was sure I misheard him. I felt like hit by a lightning bolt and would fall to the floor, but my whole body tensed and I felt acid in my mouth. I widened my eyes and immediately lifted the lid I was sitting on. I didn’t have anything in my stomach from morning’s breakfast, so I threw up with acid. Fuck this shit! I hated to throw up, I so fucking hated it.  
I was gasping and tried not to cry as my eyes become wet. I also tried to calm down. Only then I felt Derek’s hand on my back, making soothing circles and his other one tugging my hair behind my ear. I looked at him. I must have looked awful and stank. I wanted to flush the toilet, but he stopped me. I frowned. What interesting could there be?

\- Mistletoe… - he whispered shocked - and catnip - I stared at him - You were poisoned. Did you eat something? - he almost shook me and I booted my system after a crash.

\- No… Only breakfast - he scowled - So, I’m not pregnant? - honestly, it was the first thought after I started puking.

\- No - he looked at me sour and flushed the toilet.

\- Good - I nodded my head.

I wanted to brush my teeth, but Derek first asked me about towels. I gave them to him and finally refreshed my mouth. I leaned on the sink and closed my eyes. My life became a rollercoaster that moved with exorbitantly high speed.

\- Agnes… - I heard his worried whisper next to my ear and felt his hands on my arms. I leaned my back to his naked chest and sighed.

\- What’s going on, Derek? - I was getting tired, physically and emotionally.

\- I don’t know - he hugged me from behind and kissed my head.

Minutes later Cora came. She brought a change of clothes for Derek. Good, she finally started acting like his sister. His wet ones were now drying in the bathroom and he was already in my bed, comforter pulled almost over his head. I showed her her bed and told to use the bathroom, while I made them something to eat and hot tea. The three of us somehow squeezed on my bed and we ate in silence. Then said goodnight to Cora and I walked her to the living room as I was going to the bathroom.

\- You and Isaac didn’t have any problems? - I whispered to her and she just shook her head - Are you sure? - she nodded this time - Ok, bye - I kissed her cheek and felt her shock, but also a little happiness.

\- Bye - she said shyly and closed the door behind her.

 

\- Derek?

\- Yes? - he moved the comforter so I could get into bed.

\- Why did you say I was poisoned? - I was surrounded by warmth. Not only from bed, but also from him. He was warm again and it was good, so good.

\- Mistletoe poisons us. Werewolves. But mixed with catnip… I think it poisoned you and made you weak - I frowned.

\- But how did it happen?

\- I don’t know… but I couldn’t feel you and it was… - his voice almost broke and he snuggled into me. We embraced one another and I kissed his head.

\- It’s ok now, I’m here - I stroked his hair.

Silence fell between us. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, but I was tired and my eyes started to close on their own. The events of today flashing under my eyelids, thoughts and questions swirling in my head. Then, a particular one got my attention: I love you. It warmed my heart, but at the same moment made me very nervous. Derek noticed that.

\- What’s wrong? - he asked as he lifted his head and looked at me.

\- I… I don’t think throwing up was what you expected after what you said to me - I lifted my brow and bit my lip.

\- I don’t expect anything from you - he said quietly not looking at me. At first his words hurt me a little - I may want a lot of things from you… but I know you’ll do what you want - I grabbed his face in my hands and made him look at me again. 

I wanted to say something, but didn’t know what I could say, so I just kissed him passionately. It seemed Derek was better in expressing his feelings towards me than me myself or maybe it was because he was still in shock. But I knew this kiss was enough for him, just like he said: I will do what I want. And he knew that it was a way to seal things. Things I wasn’t sure about, but sealed them anyway. Because it was about him, about Derek, and I knew I would agree to all what was about him.

\- And I know the rest of that song - he said when we parted our lips - It reminds me of you - this time he stoked my hair and tugged them behind my ear. I recalled the rest of lyrics.

\- I’m that bird? - he nodded.

\- You love freedom and you could have flew away… but you didn’t - I searched his eyes.

\- How could I? I have told you, you’re not alone anymore - he smiled a faint smile and I did the same.

\- Yeah…

We kissed goodnight, as we always did when we went to bed together, and embraced by one another we drifted into so needed sleep.

 

***

 

I slept almost the entire next day. Cora and Derek made breakfast and I let myself from under the covers just enough to eat it. Yesterday’s events took its toll on me and to gain all of my strength I had to sleep. Cora didn’t want to go to school and I didn’t have the energy to argue with her and let it be, Derek apparently too.  
He looked and felt better than yesterday, but I knew it takes more than one night to cope with something like what had happened. He asked if I could take care of Cora for couple of days, because he wanted to be alone for some time. I didn’t like the idea of him being alone, but respected his request nevertheless. He said that Kali will keep her word and we are safe from the Alphas. Yeah, for now, but it will end and we still have that Darach on our backs. 

I hugged him goodbye and kissed his cheek, he did the same and even hugged his sister. I counted it as my small victory in making them closer as siblings.   
Later, I texted him that if he needs anything I’m there for him. I know he knew that already, but I just wanted to remind him that. In moments like he was right now in his life people tend to do stupid and irreversible things. And I didn’t want him to do that.

So, as I said, I slept almost entire day. Cora occupied my laptop and I got up only to cook us some frozen food. While we ate I announced that despite tomorrow is Friday, she is going to school. I had my own things to do and didn’t want her to know about them.

 

***

 

I turned the sign to “Closed” and locked the doors. 

\- I have patients in 15 minutes - said Deaton as he emerged from his office.

\- Then you have to hurry, because I’m your first - I unceremoniously walked past him and entered the exam room. He was frowning, but followed me.

\- Why are you here? - he asked with his cautious curiosity. I noticed a set of small jars with various symbols on them. I started to sniff them.

\- I was poisoned - he rose his brows and I picked up a jar with mistletoe - with this and catnip. Did you have anything to do with it? - I narrowed my eyes at him.

\- No - he shook his head - I had nothing to do with your poisoning - he said the full sentence so I could know he wasn’t lying - But there is someone else who might - he moved from his spot.

\- Darach? - I rose my brow and he just nodded - Is he working with the Alphas then? - Deaton frowned again and I knew I had to elaborate - I was poisoned and then the Alphas used me to made Derek kill Boyd - I didn’t want to tell him all of this, but had the feeling only being honest with him will make him honest with me. He leaned on the table and sighed resigned.

\- It started… - I frowned.

\- What are you talking about? - I was getting worried more now. He was silent - Deaton… - I growled a warning.

\- It was a spell and… it was my sister’s doing… - he said finally with a sour face. All of my blood drained from my face.

\- What have you just said? - I rounded the table and stood before him. My eyes cold, as my voice - Your sister? The guiding council? - he just nodded and I had to fight the urge to shove all those herbs into his mouth and pour it with bleach. So instead, I clenched my jaw and fists, moved away from him and roared my anger into the air - I won’t kill her only because she’s your sister - I said gasping, still angered and he was looking at me with wide eyes - Is there a way to protect yourself from it? From that spell?

\- I can make a hex bag… - he said after a while.

\- And it will work? She or anyone else won’t surprise me like that anymore? Because I swear, if… - I wasn’t able to finish my threat, because he cut me off.

\- It will work. It will protect you from any spell cast by a druid - he assured me and I regarded him.

\- It better - I threatened again. 

 

***

 

I spent the weekend in the company of my friends. Anna’s, Martin’s and Eva’s. Eva is one of my three friends, that one with the lovey-dovey boyfriend. Thanks to all Gods, she came without him. We were celebrating my 27th birthday by going to a cabaret and then, the next day only the three of us went to the theater. I forgot for a moment about all that supernatural shit that was going on and just spent some time with my friends, feeling happy.   
But I couldn’t help checking my phone more often than usual. I was afraid Stiles will call any minute and tell me about next murders or Cora that something is wrong. I was also waiting for any sign from Derek. It was already three days from the last time I saw him and this waiting made me very uneasy. Very, very uneasy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some femdom inside this chapter. You have been warned ;P

My patience was finally rewarded.   
It was already dark when I returned from the theater. The spectacle was in the afternoon, but then we went to eat something and you can imagine it got late after the three of us talked about everything that needed to be talked. 

Derek sent me only an address. I had to check it on Google Maps. It was on the outskirts of the city. What the hell was he doing there? I left that question unanswered and drove to that place, feeling little better that he texted and wanted to meet.  
It occurred to be an old distillery. It was good that despise my today’s meeting with high culture I was wearing my favorite grey Fila trainers, because if I was in high-heels I would definitely broke my leg or the heel. The terrain here was not flat and inside, there was a lot of things just waiting for you to trip over them.

I found him standing in the middle of an industrial hall. He was looking at a spiral on one of its walls. I lifted my brow at that, but haven’t said anything. I just stepped to him, quietly, but letting him know I was there, although he probably already sensed me.  
He touched my hand and laced our fingers together. I sighed, relieved. Maybe not only werewolves needed physical contact or maybe it was me longing for the man I cared. 

He looked at me with sad eyes. Yes, he was sad, but not in shock anymore. Like he accepted what had happened with calm, although he didn’t like that and wished things went different, but now nothing could be done about it.

\- Do you know what color my eyes were before I became an alpha? - he asked quietly, but I could clearly hear his voice was hoarse.

\- No - I answered also quietly.

Derek told me about Page, the girl he fell in love when he was fifteen. About him being so stupid and listening to Peter’s idea to ask Ennis to turn her into a werewolf. About what Page asked him when the bite didn’t work and she was dying in his arms. About taking her innocent life which resulted in turning his eyes from yellow to blue.

I have said that nothing was going to surprise me anymore, but… It was not surprise, what I felt. It was sadness for Derek, because of what he had been through in his life. His life was not even a normal one. He has been through so much shit and I haven’t heard him complain not once. He tried to deal with everything the Universe thrown at him as best as he could. Yeah, I admit, it haven’t always ended good for him or people around him… But he tried, he always tried to do what was in his opinion the best way. Where he ended after it is a different story though.   
I already admired Derek for his strong will and survival instinct. I hopped he felt that and if not, I was definitely going to show him that. But as I already said, I also felt great sadness for him. And again, that instinct to protect him, to shield him from everything bad took over me.

I hugged him tightly, kissed his temple and stroked his hair. Although it was hard to get through all of my sadness, I tried to emit some soothing emotions for him.

\- Will you come back with me now? - I asked quietly and prayed in my head he would say yes.

\- Yeah… - he nodded his head slightly - But can we first get to my car? I need something from it - I raised my brow at that, but nodded.

\- Sure - I shrugged.

 

\- Cora is inside? - Derek asked me as he got out of my car and approached his.

\- The loft - I nodded - Yeah, she said she has a place to stay and doesn’t want to put me out - I rolled my eyes as I recalled her words - Although, I don’t mind taking care of her - I shrugged.

\- You like her - it wasn’t a question.

\- Yes - I admitted - Which is a surprise considering how much I don’t like people, especially teenagers - I grimaced.

\- You like Stiles. And he’s a teenager - he pointed and placed himself in passenger’s seat in my car. I understood we’re going to spent the night together. I liked that and clicked my tongue.

\- Stiles is a completely different case - I wiggled my brows, but then mitigated myself - I like him because of his sense of humor. Although, he’s ten years far behind me in using sarcasm - I was already on the main road and heading to my apartment.

\- I hope you’re not going to help him improve it - again not a question, but I just smiled the Cheshire cat smile.

\- You wouldn’t survive two people with that high level of sarcasm near you - I glanced at him and noticed the corners of his mouth moved up a little.

 

When we finally were in my apartment I wanted to make Derek something to eat, but he stopped me. I frowned at him and when he put something in my hand without a word, I frowned more. I lifted my hand and saw… a ball gag. I moved my head to look at him so abruptly, I thought my neck snapped. 

\- Derek… what is this? - I asked cautious, but with worry.

\- You know… - he said quietly under his bowed head.

Yeah, I did know it’s a ball gag. But what with it? I frowned. He was telling me something and I should have know what. The problem was, I didn’t. I focused, but nothing in him helped me to solve this riddle. The only thought that came into my mind seeing that thing was to tell him to undress, get on his hands and knees and ride his beautiful, round ass until he will be whining from pleasure, all sweaty and so worn out he will not have any strength to move the next day… I gulped. Those were quite dangerous thoughts considering what happened only four days ago.

I touched his cheek and made him look at me. His face was blank as he waited for my decision.

\- You want to submit to me? - I asked very slow and very quiet. He just nodded as an answer and some puzzles came in right places - As a punishment - I clenched my jaw as I realized it. I hesitated - Derek… I don’t want to do it - I whispered. I wanted to cradle him in my arms and stroke his hair not punish him.

His face was a mix of a lot of emotions: astonishment, disbelieve, disappointment, sadness. I frowned as I felt them. How could he be so down after my refusal? Was it so important to him now to submit to me? I remember he wasn’t so eager to do it the first time.  
He touched my hand, that one still holding the gag, and kissed the inner of my wrist. It always made me shiver. He must know that.

\- Please Agnes… - he looked at me with pleading eyes - I need this.

I tensed and frowned pained at him. He needed it? I stroked his cheek with my thumb. He was still looking at me like a beaten puppy. I closed my eyes and sighed.

\- Ok - I said finally as I opened my eyes after a while - Go take a shower - he complied immediately and I sighed again.

I prepared everything and also prepared myself mentally. I told him that he has time to change his mind while I’m in the bathroom, and if he will hold the gag when I come back, I will do what he want from me. He held the gag.  
I undressed from my pajama and put on the strap on. My period started today, so I had my panties on. Derek’s head was bowed, but he was observing me the whole time. I took the gag from him and leaned in to kiss him. I grabbed his hair and lifted his head, making our lips met. The kiss was hard and dominating. I was already in my role. 

\- Suck it - I said as I parted his legs with my knee and stood between them. The dildo almost in his face. He just looked at me with blank face and started to lick it.

I slid my fingers in his hair and held his head, but didn’t move it or my hips, I wanted him to suck the dildo on his own. His saliva will be the only lubricant this time. When I decided it was enough I tugged at his hair and pulled his head back. I met his eyes. He was calm and waited patiently for anything I had in mind for him.

I lifted my hand with the gag and he opened his mouth for it. It was so different than the last time, when I had to persuade him to take it. I placed the red ball in his mouth and he bowed his head slightly so I could fasten it. Oh, if he only knew what a sight of a gagged man did to me… but I had a feeling he will find out soon. I didn’t want to do that to him, but with every passing second I was getting hornier. What can I say? I like the view of a beautiful man, gagged, on his hands and knees, waiting to be fucked. The fact that it was my man sent shivers down my spine, straight to my lady parts.  
I murmured and kissed his lower lip, tugging at it. Then scraped my teeth on his chin and along his jaw.

\- Turn around - I whispered into his ear and also scraped it with my teeth - And get on your hands and knees - he complied obediently.

I took off his briefs and was met with the sight of his beautiful ass which I wanted to kiss, but stopped myself. Instead, I stroked his cheeks and then slapped them hard. I felt he wanted to jump, but he restrained himself. If we were alone in my apartment, I would slap his buttocks until they were bright red and repeat it immediately the moment they would start to return to their normal color.   
I ran my human nails on his round globes. Hard. If it was a human's, I might leave scars, but with Derek I just left ten bright red lines. I did the same with his thighs. Front and back of them. At their sides and the inner part. He started to breathe heavy and I felt shivers that ran inside his body. I smiled at that.  
I spread his cheeks and spat on his anus. Placed the dildo at his entrance and put some pressure on it.

\- If you need it so much take it yourself, Derek - I said in a low voice.

There was hesitation in him for a moment, but then he moved his hips back and took it in, while I held his buttocks spread. I didn’t leave him any time to adjust and the moment the dildo was fully inside him, grabbed his hips and moved mine. I thrust in and out and felt he was restraining himself again. He was in pain and was taking it silently as his punishment. It angered me and I started to thrust harder, in the end giving him what he wanted. His breath was ragged, because I used a lot of strength, my supernatural strength and he had to brace himself on the wall. I stopped thrusting and placed my knees on his calves’ sides.

\- Move your legs together, slowly - I instructed him and when he did I continued - Now lay on your stomach, also slowly.

Derek moved and I was careful not to let the dildo slip out as I also moved to adjust to the new position. I grabbed his hips and stuck them up, so his ass was higher, then leaned on and started thrusting into him again. Though he tried to be quiet, the new position and angle made him groan. I growled at him in warning, grabbed his hair and pulled his head back.

\- Quiet - I whispered into his ear. It was enough the bed was creaking, I didn’t need Monica or Paul hear him groan.

I then laid his head on the bed, his forehead touching the mattress, and held it there. I leaned over and scraped the base of his neck with my teeth, then his shoulder. His breath hitched, heart beat faster and I felt the knot in his stomach. Was he afraid I will bite him again? No, he wasn’t afraid, he was more aroused by what I did. He liked it in a weird way. I didn’t know so many things about him…

I placed my palms at the base of his neck and ran my nails up to down his back. He shuddered violently and involuntarily, but managed to kill a scream inside him, because I was sure that he would scream if there was no gag in his mouth. He tensed when I placed my palms on his shoulders and repeated the scratching. Then did it again and again, until his back and his sides were one big red line. If there was a moment his penis was maybe a little hard, now it was definitely soft.  
I grabbed the towel I prepared earlier and wiped the blood from his back thoroughly. He was sweated, panting and his heart was rabbit’s. You don’t ask me to punish you, because that’s how it ends. He knew I’m violent. Why didn’t he ask to fight with me? It would be easier for him and for me. Was it because of this punishment thing, that he chose the hard way?

I huffed and slid out of him. Spread the towel on the bed and told Derek to lay on it on his back. I moved his legs up and motioned him to hold them under his knees. I scratched his thighs as they were normal color again, then placed my palms on his collar bones and he knew what was going to happen. He gulped and tensed his muscles in anticipation for the inevitable, but was still keeping eye contact with me. I grabbed his throat and squeezed it.

\- This is what you asked for, Derek, though I didn’t want to I’m giving it to you - I said quietly, but with evident anger - But I don’t want you to punish yourself, you hear me? Never again. This is the last time you do that, you understand? - only after he nodded, I loosened my grip and ran my thumb over his lower lip.

I let go of my anger by running my nails up and down his torso until it was bright red. He closed his eyes, frowned pained and bit into the gag. I wiped the blood and after that entered him again and as I thrust into him with steady rhythm, I stroked his penis and made it hard.   
The punishment ended, now I wanted to make him cum. I caressed his thighs, calves, feet, then hands, his still red abs and pecs. His pain subsided and he calmed a little. I smiled softly at him making him understand now it was about pleasure. I moved his hands and placed them on my thighs, played with his testicles and put more effort in stroking his penis. I started to roll my hips to hit his prostate and smiled when he arched his back and started to feel weird. I touched his hand and laced our fingers together.

\- Let it go, Derek. Come for me baby… - I would never dare to call him baby in public, but when he was like now or earlier, so vulnerable and hurt… like a small boy… I didn’t think, just said what my heart wanted.

He looked at me from his lidded eyes. I smiled at him and closed mine for a moment to gather all my feelings for him and let him smell them. I felt the knot in his belly tightened as he sensed them and on a chain reaction I felt his feelings for me. His love…

\- Derek… - I just whispered.

It triggered his release. I felt his testicles contracted and his penis pulsed as his semen flew in the air. He threw his head back and breathed heavy through his nose. The muscles on his torso still contracting. I stopped thrusting, but stroked him through his orgasm. 

With my clean hand I unbuckled the straps and let them fall, then slowly pulled the dildo out of him. He was all sweaty and tired, but there was no place in his mind for grief or sadness. I understood it was the aim of this activity, but still didn’t like that it was through pain.  
I let him lower his legs and sit on my heels to his right. I unbuckled the gag and took it from his mouth. This time it survived. Wow, Derek really was restraining himself. His breath had time to calm down, but with the gag off he started to inhale deep breaths. I let him take some and then showed him my hand with his sperm on it. He didn’t know what to do.

\- Lick it - I said calmly.

He did. He licked his seed from my fingers thoroughly and then swallowed it. The feeling of his tongue on my fingers was something new… and when he sucked them… I definitely liked it. Although his lips were dry, he didn’t pay attention to it. All his focus was on my fingers now, and his tongue and mouth were slick and warm as always. As always when I kissed him.  
I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips, not knowing if he was ready for a deeper kiss. I backed a little and looked into his eyes. He was still somewhere else, somewhere where he was dominated by me, but he lifted his head and kissed me deeper. I slid my hand under his head and moved him to sit up.

\- Session finished - I said as I stroked his cheek and ran my hand through his hair to tame them a little. He just nodded.

I gave him water to drink and went to the bathroom to bring a wet towel. I cleaned him and myself, wrapped the sex toys in the towel and decided I will take care of them in the morning. We will wash properly in the morning too. 

\- You did good, Derek - he was laying on his side and watching me. I ran my hand along his naked body and he murmured - But I meant what I said about it being the last time - I said more firmly.

\- I know… - he whispered. I stopped my hand on his shoulder, leaned and kissed him goodnight lightly.

I let my hair loose, turned the light off and got to bed. We searched for the right position and I finally asked him to turn his back to me. He curled up and I spooned him. My arm was stretched somewhere above my head, Derek’s head under my chin, his back glued to my front. My other hand was placed on his chest, covered by his, our fingers laced.  
He was worn out and drifted to sleep in an instant. I listened to his calm breaths and though I wasn’t as tired as him, soon followed him into nothingness.

 

***

 

I loved to wake up to Derek in bed. Although, I preferred his bed than mine. It was bigger and had more cushions. What can I say? I’m part cat and cats like to sleep in cozy places, and Derek’s bed definitely counted as one. Well, cats also find radiators and door’s top rail very comfy places to sleep, but I don’t.   
I was cuddled up to his chest. His heart beating steady and breath calm. His strong arms around me, bringing safety and warmth. I could stay like this forever.   
I liked this Derek more. This strong, masculine and sometimes violent man, who in spite of all cared about people, but not always showed it. I definitely didn’t like the broken, sad or vulnerable Derek.  
I thought about what happened yesterday and about the reason behind it, Boyd’s death. Also about my weakness and remembered I need to visit Deaton to take from him my hex bag. Then I remembered today was Monday and Monday means work. I grumbled and all my nice feelings about waking up next to my man disappeared like a cloud under a cartoon character.

\- What’s wrong? - said man asked in a husky voice.

\- Monday - I had answered before I thought - and period. It hurts before and during. I hate it - I pouted like a child and looked at him. He smiled with corners of his mouth down.

\- I can do something about it - he kissed my forehead and I understood he wanted to take my pain away.

\- No, Derek. Don’t - I moved his hands away from me and he frowned.

\- Why? - I looked at his chest and made sure that I haven’t left any marks on his body yesterday. I stroked and kissed his pecs to ease him.

\- You can do something, but don’t take my pain - he looked at me puzzled - It is enough if you just put your warm hands on me. Really, it will make me feel better - I explained. His face looked like he wasn’t convinced.

I turned my back to him and plastered my lower back to his abs. That was one of two places where my body hurt during period. The second was lower abdomen, where the uterus of course was. I took his palm and slid it past my panties’ elastic and placed there. I sighed as I felt warmth radiating from his hand. I laid my head on his second arm, working as a pillow for me. After some time the pain started to subside. I checked if there were any black lines on Derek’s forearms, but no. It was the warmth.  
It is said that for example hot baths are inadvisable during your period, but I always made them hotter exactly then. Warmth lessens my pain and I don’t care about blood clotting.  
I felt surprise in him and smiled the knowing smile.

\- See? I told you.

\- You’re unbelievable - he kissed my hair and I murmured.

I checked the time. It was quite early if it comes to my time standards and it meant we could spend some more time in bed. Of course, if Derek didn’t have to be somewhere else. I asked him about that.

\- Not now, but I should check if Cora went to school - I smiled with my eyes closed.

\- I’ve got that covered - I could bet he was frowning behind me.

\- Stiles? - I grinned. Oh, he was getting to know me quite well.

\- Mhm… and I also texted them yesterday that you’re with me - I turned my head to him and smiled softly.

\- Do you always think about everything? - he kissed my cheek.

\- No. But I don’t like to be unnecessarily woken up in the morning and that would definitely happen, if you haven’t finally texted - he felt bad - It’s not a rebuke, Derek - I shook my head and stroked his hand - I’m just saying - he nodded. I turned my head from him.

\- I’m sorry, I missed your birthday - he said quietly after some time. I frowned.

\- How did you know? - I turned to him completely. He rose his brows like it was obvious.

\- I saw your ID, remember? The night we met - now I rose mine. It seemed to be sooo long ago.

\- Now, yeah… - I smiled a little - You see? I don’t always think about everything - he too smiled - But it’s ok… - I assured him and touched his cheek - Well, it would be nice if you were here, but I understand why you weren’t… - I got serious. He nodded and I slowly pulled him in for a kiss.

Monday, pain, work, sadness were all forgotten when our lips met. If I was a shriveled plant, I would come alive in an instant. He was my air, my sun, my water, my everything. I closed my eyes and just felt him. He slid his hand from my panties and ran it along my body, placing it in the end on my cheek. He climbed me and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I purred, it felt so good. He felt so good.

\- Did you get my card? - he asked after we reluctantly parted. I frowned.

\- What card?

\- I sent you a card - he said weirdly shy and I lifted my brow at that - Just check your e-mail.

He laid next to me and I grabbed my phone. I didn’t even know he had an e-mail. I am such a bad girlfriend, lol. I scrolled through my inbox and finally found something about an e-card. I opened the link and saw a sweet picture of a dog licking a cat’s mouth. They looked like good friends and they were happy, because they were smiling, if you know what I mean. The caption under said “Happy Birthday :*” and the card even had a stamp with a black cat.  
I smiled a big smile and felt anticipation and hesitation leave Derek as he smelled my happiness.

\- It’s sweet - I said honestly - Thank you - and I pulled him for another kiss.

 

We showered, I took care of towels and toys inside them and then helped Derek with breakfast. While we ate I made sure he was all right after yesterday night and asked him about his birthday. It was the 7th of November 1988. My thoughts about him being younger were right.  
I also asked him what he’s going to do with Kali. The full moon was coming in less than a week and we were running out of time. He didn’t know what to do and when I mentioned my crazy idea about going after her, he growled and flashed his alpha eyes at me. Said to not dare to even try that, because he himself will stop me. The last time we went after one of them he almost died and he don’t want anything to happen to me. I sniffed at it, but he was probably right.  
I told him about my conversation with Deaton, the fact that I was enchanted not poisoned, and that I asked him to do me a hex bag. It did not ease his anger.

\- You shouldn’t trust him… - was all he said.

\- I don’t - I shook my head - but you must admit he has the knowledge and skills that might help us - I pointed.

\- Then why isn’t he? - he wasn’t convinced, not a bit, and he was still angry. I touched his wrist and stroked it with my thumb.

\- You remember what Stiles said? Because of something that happened ten years ago - I tilted my head to the side - But I’m still going to use him… - I said more to myself than him. He frowned and regarded me.

\- What do you mean? - this time I looked at him.

\- I mean… I’m going to use him, his knowledge and his skills, bit by bit. Just like I used him to do the hex bag. Do you want one for yourself? Or Cora? - he shook his head.

\- I don’t want anything from this man, especially magical.

\- It might help - I tried.

\- No - he said forcibly. I sighed. 

\- Ok, I won’t force you - I lifted my hands - but I’m going to take that hex bag from him, because I don’t want to be enchanted again… and used against you… - I felt bad, very bad about it, because it was exactly like Derek once said… that he was weak because of me…

He smelled my feelings and placed his hand on my back, soothing me. I looked hesitantly at him, but there was no accusation in his eyes, just worry about me. I moved a little closer to him and he embraced me and hugged. I too wrapped my arms around him and sighed when I felt his scent and warmth.

\- Why life has to be so shitty…? - I asked rhetorically and he just kissed my hair.

 

I drove Derek to his loft, then went to Deaton and took the hex bag. He said to always have it with me. I nodded and went to work. I also called Stiles and said I have an idea when it comes to finding out who the Darach is and if he’s willing, I need his help. He eagerly offered himself, which sounded funny. I told him to gather as much information about teachers from his school as possible. I felt surprise from him and he said it might be difficult and take time. I advised him to focus on those who started working this year, first. He agreed and we decided to meet in the evening.

 

I parked my car in front of his house and a wave of memories flooded me. It seemed so long ago that we had our yoga sessions here. Everything was different now. I was with Derek, I knew about my powers, and had a pack of alphas threatening us along with a dark druid. Everything was so complicated now. I decided living in unawareness was a bliss…

I rang the bell and soon was greeted by Stiles and then by Danny, when we stepped into his room. I shook hands with the teen and when Stiles said I’m his cousin I snorted.

\- Is she like your cousin Miguel? - Danny asked with a smirk. I lifted my brow at that.

\- Yeah, sometimes she’s just like him - Stiles smiled menacingly and I smacked his head - Exactly like him! - he flailed his hands.

\- Stiles… - I warned him and then turned to the other teen - Nice meeting you Danny, but Stiles and I need to do some research and…

\- Danny is helping us with it - Stiles cut in and I almost killed him with a glare. I grabbed his elbow and dragged downstairs.

\- Have you lost your mind? - I growled at him - Why do you drag this kid into this? - I would gladly yelled at him, but instead I just scolded him in a low voice.

\- He’s already dragged - Stiles quickly retorted. I frowned.

\- What do you mean?

\- He’s dating Ethan - I rolled my eyes.

\- I will never understand teenager’s crushes… - I widened my eyes as a thought hit me - He can tell them what we’re doing, tell the Alphas - I grabbed his shoulders and almost shook him from anger.

\- Chill, he’s not a spy - he made a face - You’re overreacting.

\- Said the kid with ADHD - I retorted.

\- Hey, that’s below…

\- Just get rid of him or I will do it - I rose my brows and waited with arms crossed on my chest.

Danny was gone, I will omit the fact that he looked at me weirdly, when he was passing me on his way to the front door and I just rose my brows at him. Then, I read all Stiles and him found about the teachers. I asked him tons of questions and he said I’m worse than his dad, I smirked. Speaking of him, he returned from his shift and I decided it was time for me to go home.  
I went downstairs to say hello and goodbye.

\- Oh, hi Agnes - John was quite happy to see me - Haven’t seen you in a while - I smiled slightly at him.

\- Been busy with work and family - not exactly a lie.

\- Everything all right? - his protectiveness was kicking in.

\- My parents are in that age when your health is not of a teenager’s - he nodded knowingly, while I put my shoes on.

\- Yeah… talking about teenagers - he lowered his voice so Stiles couldn’t hear from upstairs - I think you were right - I lifted my brow.

\- With what? - I also said in his conspiratorial manner.

\- With Stiles and that yoga practicing - I smiled at that.

\- Well, thank you - he nodded.

\- But I wish he would focus less on my work and this crazy idea of human sacrifices… - I tensed - He surely told you about it?

\- Yeah… - I pretended I was perplexed - But, umm… I don’t know if you’re interested in history, but there were and are some cultures that practice human sacrifices - he looked at me shocked - I read a lot - I said in my defend, which was true.

\- And have you read how to stop them? - I smiled sardonically.

\- You won’t like that cliché, but stop the one making the sacrifices - John almost rolled his eyes - But you know, sometimes the craziest ideas are the most revealing. That’s how scientists and discoverers works - I pointed and smiled.

\- Yeah… I think you’re right - he scratched his head and I heard Stiles coming down the stairs.

\- And I would listen to your son sometimes - I grinned as I grabbed Stiles’ arm and hugged him - He’s bright and has this habit of seeking answers to the uneasy questions, which he probably got after you - I smiled - And my mother always says you can learn something from your children too.

\- Your mother must be an interesting woman - John noticed.

\- That she is - I nodded and tickled Stiles.

He squirmed and giggled like a little girl, but then cooled down and looked at me hurt and shocked, like asking “How could you embarrass me like that?!”. His father was looking at us like we were five years old and playing in the sandpit. I laughed.

\- I love this kid - I shook my head and got serious again - Goodnight John - I smiled at him and put my jacket on.

\- Goodnight - he nodded smiled slightly.

\- Bye Stiles - I called more flirtatious and he just grumbled at me. I laughed again.


	23. Chapter 23

I had this mountainous desire to smash my phone on the ground, a wall or even flush it in the toilet, because I was fed up with getting bad news through it. There has been another sacrifice, a deputy, one of Stiles' father co-workers. Stiles called yesterday at night and told me that. He called again today in the morning and said that his father might have some questions about it and when I asked why, he said it's about something I said to him some time ago. I frowned, but if John wanted to talk, I'll talk and say to him he's wasting his time on me.  
And Stiles called the third time, in the afternoon, saying Allison found out about the rest groups of sacrifices: philosophers and guardians. So, five people are going to be dead soon… Just… When did my life turned into this?

He decided to tell the truth to his father. The truth about werewolves and druids, kanima and the Alpha pack. I must say, I got scared and worried. Scared because I didn't want my involvement in all this came to light and worried, because I didn't know how John is going to react to such news. I agreed to meet at his house, but asked Stiles not to tell his father about me, because I wanted to do it myself.

For the past few days I've been playing detective. I have read all Internet information about the teachers, Stiles showed me some of their police files (if there were any), I tried to find them on Facebook and even followed some of them to their homes. But nothing indicated clearly that one of them is the Darach. It might as well be someone from the grocery store. I huffed irritated.

As I was getting nearer to Stiles' house from the bus stop, I felt Cora inside it and smelled blood. I frowned and started to run. I banged on the door and when Stiles finally opened them, I ran past him and following her scent ended in his bedroom. Cora was sitting on his bed and had a fresh wound on her forehead, just below the line of her hair. My heart skipped from fear as I saw that. I grabbed her head in my hands and inspected the wound, also focusing on her to check if the rest of her was ok. She made a face, but didn't move to free herself from my grip, she knew it would be futile.

\- What the fuck, Stiles?! - I shouted when he appeared in his room - Why haven't you told me about it? - I was angry and disappointed - And what the hell happened? - I turned to Cora. She gulped, but remained silent.

\- For the love of God… - Stiles started bouncing from nervousness - She attacked Aiden at school and ended with that wound - my eyes widened.

\- Have you lost your mind? - I rose my voice at her - It was stupid and reckless, Cora - I wanted to grab her and shook that stupidity out of her, but restrained myself. She hung her head low.

\- I'm sorry… - she said quietly and I tilted my head to the side as I regarded her.

\- No, you're not. You're just saying it to ease me - her head shot up and I rose my brow at her.

\- There's also something we have to tell you about Derek… - I heard Stiles behind my back. I turned slowly to him with squinted eyes. He started fidgeting, but this time I didn't hold his hands to calm him.

\- Well? - I was getting impatient, more irritated and angry. And it was always bad for people around me, when I was like that.

\- We saw him today at school with… with… - I usually liked to take boys' breath away, but this time not. I growled - with Miss Blake - he finally said.

\- Your English teacher? - he nodded - And?

\- They were… um, together, like together together - he stated to blush.

\- Just say it - Cora said in an exasperated voice - They were kissing… and it looked like it wasn't their first time. But I don't get it, you're his mate. Why would he… - she started talking, but I wasn't listening to her.

I stood there and felt like I'm beyond all of this. I started to blink and frown. I leaned on the wall as I felt stings of jealousy in my heart. But was Derek really cheating on me? I haven't smelled any other woman than me on him and I felt his feelings for me. They were real. He truly loved me…

\- Are you… - I couldn't finish my question, because John just stepped into the room. I frowned and remembered why we were here in the first place.

Stiles didn't know how to start his story. He clumsily tried couple of times and John looked at me irritated as he stood beside me, but I was no help. Finally, Stiles came up with the idea of chess and he placed the chessboard on his desk, explaining his father who is who with small notes stuck to the pawns. It wasn't a bad idea, I must say.

John listened to his son and I could feel realization came to him in some moments, like unknown pieces of puzzles finally were in right places, but the more time passed the more irritated he became.

\- And what shape would increasingly confused and angrier, by the second father take? - he asked.

\- Um, that would be more expression like the one you're currently wearing - Stiles said down.

\- Yeah - John nodded and got up from the desk.

\- Dad! Wha… - Stiles stepped in his way - I can prove it, ok? She's one of them - he pointed at Cora.

\- Stiles! That's enough - now, he was very angry. He turned to me - How can you say to me to listen to him? How can you encourage him in this nonsense? - I could feel his disappointment.

\- Because it's true, John - I said calmly looking straight into his eyes - People call nonsense the truth they don't want to hear… or something they don't believe - I felt pain in him and for a moment his eyes became distant, like he was recalling something.

\- I don't want you near my son - he threatened and I rose my brows at that. He approached the door.

\- Dad, can you please hold on? - Stiles desperately tried again. John turned and waited seconds more - You're ready? - he turned to Cora and motioned her to wolf out to show his father he was telling the truth. She stood up - All right. Dad, just watch this… - I frowned, because there was something wrong…

Cora fell to the floor like a dead body. I just managed to catch her head before it hit the carpet. John was beside us in an instant.

\- Call an ambulance - he told Stiles as I checked her vital functions.

\- No, it will be quicker, if we drive her to the emergency - I said in authoritative voice - And besides, she just lost her consciousness - John regarded me, but picked Cora up.

I was sitting in the back of John's police cruiser with Cora. The siren was on and we were heading to the hospital. Stiles was tailing us in his jeep. I texted Derek what happened and the name of the hospital. When John asked me, how I knew what to do with Cora, I told him that apart the first aid course, I had some more advanced done. He lifted his brows at me and though he was still angry, I felt appreciation coming off of him. I smiled lightly at him.

 

I sat on a very uncomfortable chair in the hospital's hall with my eyes closed, and waited for Derek. Cora was already in the hands of a doctor and probably being tested.

I tried to calm myself, not only because of what happened to her, but also because I was in a hospital. I hated hospitals. People die here. I always twisted the word hospital to cemetery. I know those words are not similar, but I always twist them. And now with my enchanted smell and empathy it was worse than ever. The scent of medications, ill people, death, pain and despair I smelled and felt was overwhelming and I had to concentrate very much not to throw up and breathe somehow.

I felt him before I smelled or saw him. He was panicked, worried and desperate to see his sister. I sighed, opened my eyes and rose from the chair.

\- Where is she? - he asked the moment he saw me. His voice almost broke.

\- She's being examined - I touched his hand and he sighed - You will see her when they finish… and now you have to fill in the paperwork - I said with a sour face, because I knew it was a pain in the ass to do it.

We sat and Derek took care of the papers the nurse have given me earlier. I placed my hand on his back and ran circles to soothe him. I wasn't a fan of showing your affection in public. I hated when couples were kissing in the bus, for example, but I didn't care now, I was just stroking his back, not kissing him. And he needed this.

I felt someone's eyes on me and turned my head slowly. It was Stiles with his father. I smiled sadly at them and turned my attention back to Derek. I could hear them speaking in the distance.

\- They're… - John was surprised.

\- Together, yeah - Stiles finished.

\- Isn't he too old for her? I mean… What age is she anyway? - I could imagine a frown on John's face.

\- It doesn't matter, Dad - Stiles said in an exasperated voice - What did you see…

 

\- Derek? - he glanced at me so I would now I had his attention - Were you at school today? - I asked calmly.

\- Yeah, why? - he hasn't lifted his head from the papers. I frowned.

\- What for? - I was very curious what his answer would be.

\- I… - he frowned and looked at me - I don't remember - there was confusion on his face. He was telling the truth.

\- How can you not remember? Last time I checked, your memory was fine - I said with worry.

\- It's like that time after the fight, when I woke up in my bed and didn't remember how I got there - I tensed.

\- Derek, did you met with Jennifer Blake today? - my heart was hammering in my chest.

\- That teacher? No, I haven't seen her since I checked on her after we got Cora and Boyd out that vault - again truth. He was more confused and I was more worried.

\- Stiles! - I called and didn't care people were looking at me. I rummaged through my bag to find my phone.

\- Agnes what's going on? - there was… panic in his voice? I looked at him and said deadly serious.

\- That woman, there's definitely something going on with her.

I dialed Stiles and told him to get to the where we were ASAP. He in return told me about next dead body Allison and Isaac found. And that philosophers means teachers. And all teachers from their school are now at the recital organized in memory of people killed so far.

\- All teachers? - Derek took my bag and my hand and I followed him in direction the nurse showed him.

\- Yeah.

\- Meet me at your jeep - I ended the call and noticed we were standing in the threshold of the room Cora was in. I breathed deeply - Come, Derek - I tightened my hand around his and stepped in.

Cora was still unconscious. She laid in the hospital bed, attached to the machines. Her head was bandaged. I hated that moment when you had to get in to the room someone close to you was. I was going through this so many times, with my mother, father, grandmother, uncle and friend. I didn't want to do that again.

We stood by her bed, looking helpless at her. She felt like something was wrong with her, but I couldn't say what. Derek was so depressed that I thought he would cry. I wanted to stay with him, to ease his pain a little and to listen what the doctor had to say, but I had to go. Something might happen at school tonight and I wanted to confront that Jennifer.

\- Derek… - I let go of his hand and touched his cheek to make him look at me - I have to go - his eyes were so pale and sad, I hated it - But I will be back, ok? - he nodded.

I cradled his face in my palms and pulled him for a light kiss. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled closer to him. I hugged him too, placing my hands on his back and my head on his chest. We were like that for a moment and although I desperately didn't want to, I had to let go of him. He must have felt that, because he tightened his grip for a moment, kissed my hair and then opened his arms, freeing me.

\- I will be back quickly, I promise - I assured him and he nodded - You too - I squeezed Cora's hand and exited the room.

 

When we get to the school, the recital already started. The room was filled with people, but I couldn't see the only teacher I was interested with.

\- She's not here? - I said more to myself. Scott looked at me.

\- Who?

\- Miss Blake - I said not looking at him and felt that dreadful feeling of being off - Something is going to happen…

\- We know that, that's why we're here - Scott pointed, but I shook my head.

\- Like right now - I said and he and Stiles looked at me scared.

\- Wait, where's Lydia? - Scott started to look around - She was here.

\- Not when we got here - Stiles noted and I nodded. Their fear aggravated.

\- Let's look for her - I proposed and we exited the room.

Boys went one way, I went the other. I tried to follow Lydia's scent, but I wasn't too familiar with it. The same was with Jennifer's. Then I concentrated on that feeling of being off. I suspected it was somehow connected to Darach, so if I follow it, it will lead me to him. But it wasn't that easy. That feeling was making me slower, less focused and restless. And my head started to hurt.  
Then I heard a unbelievably unpleasant scream. Its source was just around the corner.

\- Unbelievable… You have no idea what you are, do you? The wailing woman, a banshee right before my eyes. You're just like me, Lydia - I heard the woman say and widened my eyes - Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it. It's too bad though and too late - I tensed. I had to do something right now.

I heard Lydia's whimpering and couldn't wait any longer, to think of anything other than just burst in there and use brute force.

It was her. Jennifer Blake. The same woman, who I protected from Boyd and Cora that night in the boiler room. Now, she was holding a knife to Lydia's throat. Gods, karma must hate me.

\- You… - she said surprised as I slowly stepped into the class.

\- Me - I growled.

Did I have enough time? Did I was as fast as I thought? There was only one way to find the answer.  
I leaped at them and shifted while I was still in the air. I grabbed the edge of the knife and kicked the chair, to which Lydia was tied. I felt pain in my hand as the blade cut me deep, but the move made the woman lost her balance and she fell to the floor. This was good. I wanted to grab her, but I bounced off something. I frowned and saw the woman smiled. I snarled at her.  
She closed her eyes for a moment and then wanted to throw the knife at me…

\- Drop it! - I heard a man shout and knew it was Stiles' father in an instant. Shit! It was good I returned to my human form.

\- No! Get out of he… - I shouted at him, but Jennifer was fast. Instead at me, she threw the knife at John and hit him below arm. He dropped his gun and fell to the floor. It was the last straw. I roared - You bitch!

I attacked her again and this time there was no invisible barrier. She seemed surprised by that and I aimed for her throat with my fangs and claws. If John saw them, I couldn't help it.

The bitch was fast and strong, I give her that. I was going to deliver the next blow when I heard a roar. It was Scott, another person to protect. Couldn't they leave this fight to me? That made me lose my focus and Jennifer threw me under the window.  
Scott leaped at her, but she dodged and hit his chest, sending him flying. He hit the floor and blood ran from his mouth. I snarled at her and she made the desks surround me, making it impossible for me to move from my spot. Now I roared at her, but when I saw Stiles near the class door I froze. If she does anything to him I'm going to kill her. But fortunately she just barricaded the door with the desk.

I was surrounded by fucking students' desks, she magically made to move. Gods, I hated magic. My irritation and anger just aggravated and I felt electricity around me.

\- There was a girl, years ago, I found her in the woods. Her face and body slashed apart. That was you, wasn't it? - I heard John's words and looked in his direction. He was holding his gun pointed at Jennifer.

\- Maybe I should have started with philosophers - she said and now I was sure she's the Darach - With their knowledge and strategy - she moved towards John and he shot her in the leg.

I heard cracks around me and noticed the desk I was constantly pushing away, moved. I widened my eyes, but waited no more as I started to free myself from this ridiculous prison. I sent some desks flying and looked around. Jennifer pinned John to the wall and was digging the knife deeper into his flesh. I roared and came at her, but she just stretched her arm and I flew in the air, hit the board and fell to the floor. I groaned.

Before she did that I saw her face. It wasn't that perfect and flawless face of miss Blake. It was ugly, hairless and with slashes all across it. It was the face of Darach.

I moved from the floor, but she was gone, along with John. I looked at shocked Stiles and Scott, then at Lydia who fainted.

\- Fuck… - was all I said at that. I was tired and hurt. I just wanted to go to sleep.

I cut the duck tape on Lydia's wrists and slapped her cheeks lightly, to bring her consciousness back. She started to stir. I heard boys behind me move.

\- What are we going to do now?! - Stiles started to panic. I heard a grunt from Scott and turned. There was blood on his face.

\- Are you ok Scott? - I asked him.

\- Yeah… I'm just…

\- She took my dad, Agnes! My dad… - Stiles grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I felt like a girl from an anime or manga. I gathered my shit together and they should do the same.

\- Calm down, Stiles - I said in a firm voice and peeled his fingers off me - We have to focus and think. Scott, wipe that blood from your face - I turned and looked at Lydia - Are your parents here? - she shook her head - Anyone who can take you home? - she just shrugged and I sighed.

\- Allison, she can take her - Scott suggested and I nodded.

\- Call her and ask to come here, because we have to go - I said forcibly - Lydia, we weren't here, you understand? - I leaned over her and looked in the eye. She was still shocked, but nodded her head - Good, c'mon - I motioned boys to leave.

My mind was working on overdrive. I dragged the boys with me, but I wasn't really thinking where I was going, until we stopped by Stiles' car. I told them to get in and drive away. When Stiles asked to were, I just said straight ahead. It was usually the best direction.

After his call with Allison, Scott said that a teacher was killed at the recital. When did Jennifer do that? The bitch was powerful, I give her that. She was stronger than Kali, if it was any comparison. Stiles was nagging me about where to go, so I told him to pull over. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Derek.

\- Are you still at the hospital? - I asked in tired voice.

\- No, in the loft. Agnes what's going on? - he asked worried and I knew where to go.

\- Jennifer's the Darach - I heard him inhale sharply - We're on our way to your place - teens looked at me and when they understood I was serious, Stiles started the engine.

\- Wait, we have to go to the clinic first - Scott said.

\- What for?

\- There's something that might help us - I rose my brow at that, but didn't argue.

 

I was almost sure I napped during the ride, because I jumped when I felt Stiles' hand on me. I blinked and realized where we were.  
I scowled at the noises the elevator was making as we rode upstairs. That's why I never used it. Derek was waiting for us by the door. The moment he saw me his anger shot through the roof. I didn't understand why. He stepped to me and touched my chin, turning my face to the left. I frowned and wanted to lash at him.

\- Did she do that to you? - he asked through clenched teeth. Now I scowled.

\- What?

\- You're bruised… - he said it like it was him who was hurt and ran his fingers lightly on my cheek. I sighed.

\- Yeah, it was her - I said tired.

I must have forgotten to heal. When it comes to that, I'm different than werewolves. It doesn't happen on its own, I have to concentrate on the healing myself. It's almost like ordering every cell in my body to heal, but when I do it, I heal even faster than Derek. I don't understand it. I just learned it and use it.

We stepped into the loft and told Derek everything what had happened. I asked him what's with Cora, but he just shook his head. I touched his arm and squeezed it. Then we heard someone downstairs and I knew it was her. Jennifer.

She tried to forestall us and told Derek that Scott and Stiles will come to him and say "things" about her as she called everything that happened at school. She played innocent and wanted Derek to believe and trust her, not boys. I shook with anger as I was listening to her rambling behind the wall. The three of us hid there for some time, to see what Jennifer would do. I felt Derek's discomfort as they kissed and my jealousy turned into more anger.

\- They're already here, aren't they? - I don't know if she used her magic to sense us or just heard me gnash my teeth. Scott and Stiles stepped out, but I stayed invisible for now - So… they told you it was me? That I'm the one taking people?

\- We told him that you're the one killing people - Scott said with anger and disgust.

\- Oh, that's right. Committing human sacrifices? What, cutting people's throats? Yeah, I probably do it on my lunch hour. That way, I can get back to teaching high school English the rest of day. That make perfect sense - she tried to turn it into a joke.

\- Where's my dad? - asked Stiles in a broken voice. I could smell tears in his eyes.

\- How should I know? - she still played the innocent - Derek tell me you don't believe this - she turned to him and I wanted to slash her pretty face exactly the way it was slashed in her true form.

\- Do you know what happened to Stiles' father? - asked Derek in concerned voice.

\- No.

\- Ask her why she almost killed Lydia - Scott said.

\- Lydia Martin? I don't know anything about that - everyone could hear her lying.

\- What do you know? - asked Derek, getting angry.

\- I know that these boys, for whatever misguided reason are filling your head with an absurd story. And one they can't prove, by the way - she turned to Scott and Stiles.

\- What if we can? - Scott raised his hand with a small jar and I felt her hesitation.

He threw the mistletoe dust at her and she showed her true self. It was the same ugly face I saw at school. I growled and stepped out of the shadow to Derek grabbing her by her throat. I circled them and stood on Derek's right, watching with a malicious smile on my face as she fought for air in his strong grip.

\- What are you? - he asked her with disgust.

\- The only person who can save your sister - I regarded her. Her heart was still rabbit's from fear, but it skipped unevenly when she said that - Call Peter. Call him!

Derek did. Cora was currently being prepared to transfer to a different hospital due to the strong storm raging over the city. Peter said she's in and out of consciousness and vomiting black blood with mistletoe. I didn't like that. Not. At. All.

\- Did you cast a spell on her? Or poisoned her to bargain with us? - I asked moderately calm, but my rage was making the air around me sparkle. She looked at me shocked - Answer me! - I roared and felt my hair blew up, like someone put a hairdryer in my face.

My rage must have fuelled Derek, because he lifted her at least one foot above the floor. I felt panic in her and also in the kids.

\- Derek. Derek, what are you doing? - it was Scott.

\- Her life… it's in my hands! - she only choked and I roared at her for the last time, letting some of my anger go.

\- Stop. Derek, stop! - this time it was Stiles.

\- Stilinski, you'll never find him! - she shouted desperately.

\- Derek… - I said and touched his arm. The same, with which he was holding her. He let go and she fell to the floor.

We were both shaking with anger. Both of us just wanted to kill her here and now. But we couldn't. I suspected it was her doing the way Cora was now and I thought she could help her, but I definitely didn't trust her.

\- That's right. You need me. All of you - she said with malicious face. I crouched to level my eyes with hers.

\- But that doesn't mean we can't kill you later… - I said with the same malicious face.


	24. Chapter 24

Hi, this is an author's note not an actual chapter so sorry about it. If anyone is waiting for next chapters, well, you'll have to wait a little longer. But don't worry, I'll finish this story and probably start next one, based on the season 3b. Thanks for reading, comments and kudos :) 

And here's something to dry your tears (of course I know none of you is crying :P): Agnes and Derek will claim eachother in the last chapter.  
See ya!


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